Girl's School
by Miko2
Summary: Ranma and Akane attend St. Hebereke's School for Girls. It's a Ranmachan story, yeah, it's been done too many times before, but you know, whatever.
1. Chapter 1

Warning: I am seriously not breaking any new ground here. I mean that – it's all been done before, and done better, and it's even been done by me before. Nevertheless, I felt compelled to write this, and I tried to make it worth reading.

This is an open-ended divergence fic, which means at some point I'll stop writing and never tie up all the plot lines, because by design the story has no particular goal in mind. Sorry about that. Hopefully I'll get a good ways into the story before that happens.

Also the chapter titles don't mean very much and are subject to change.

**Girl's School**

**M A Davis / Miko**

**Chapter One: End Of All Hope**

"This is my vow. I shall raise Ranma to be a true man among men. And if I somehow fail that task, Father and son together will commit ritual seppuku and take our own lives!"

"So said my husband." Nodoka Saotome sat back and surveyed the room. Everyone -- Soun Tendo, his three daughters, their cousin Ranko -- stared at her in shock. Only Mr. Panda in the corner seemed indifferent to her words, but after all, he was just a pet.

"But Mrs. Saotome," Akane said, "you wouldn't hold him to that would you? Suicide is so extreme!"

"Well," Nodoka said, "I come from a martial arts family as well, so I know how important sacred vows are..."

There were gasps from everyone on the room.

"Commit ritual seppuku?"

"No!"

"I can't believe it!"

"...So I forced him to alter his vow," Nodoka finished.

There were sighs of relief from those present. "But then," Akane asked, "Alter it... how?"

"Well, it was a very stupid vow," Nodoka said. "A man among men? That really depends upon how you define those words, and I _know_ how my husband would define them. But to me, it was only important that Ranma grow up to be a decent and honorable human being. _That_ would make him a man among men!"

Suddenly the red-headed girl with the pigtail produced a large teakettle. Mr. Panda threw the tire aside and held up a sign. "No, girl who is not my son! Don't do it!"

"Mom," the girl said, and upended the hot water on her head. A second later a taller boy with black hair sat where the girl had been. "I'm Ranma Saotome, your son." After a moment's pause, he added, "Er... sorry about this."

Ranma's mother fainted.

XXX

When she'd come to, Nodoka stared at Ranma in wonder. "Ranma? Is it really you?"

"Yes, mother. It's me."

"But... there was a _girl_ here, before..."

"That's me too." And Ranma launched into the full explanation about what had happened to him and Genma on the training trip to Jusenkyo. When he was done, Nodoka sighed.

"I... see." She paused and then suddenly she was hugging her son tightly. "It must have been so very hard on you, Ranma! I'm so sorry I allowed you to be taken away from me like that. I've been yearning for years to see you again!"

"Me too, mom, me too." Tears started to form in Ranma's eyes, which he quickly wiped away. But Nodoka had noticed.

"It's okay, Ranma," she said. "I know your father believes it's unmanly to cry, but I do not believe such things. True, there are limits to what one should allow..." She paused to stare pointedly at Soun, who had rivers of water flowing down his cheeks. Then she stared at the panda in the corner.

"Husband," she said, and her voice held far less warmth than a moment before. "I trust, then, that you have raised our son according to our pact?"

The panda held up a sign that read, "I warned you boy! You've sealed our fate!"

"What pact?" Ranma and Akane said together.

"What you want to ask," Nabiki said, "is for her to finish explaining in what way she had Genma alter his vow."

"Precicesly," Nodoka said. "I see that at least one person here actually pays attention to what's being said." She turned to look at Ranma. "Son," she said, "how are you doing in school? How are your grades?"

This question seemed to come out of left field. Ranma stammered. "I... uh... okay, I guess."

Nabiki snorted. "If you count sleeping in class, never paying attention, and getting D's and F's as doing okay."

"I... see," Nodoka said, looking very sad indeed. After a moment, she added, "It was always my greatest fear that if Genma took Ranma on this training trip, he would neglect the boy's education. Education is very important It's vital, in fact. Son, you could become the greatest martial artist in the world, and even become a 'true man among men' as defined by my husband, but without a proper education, what good would it all be?"

"I... but... I'm a martial artist! I don't need to learn that stuff!"

"You're wrong, Son," Nodoka said. "Education is the key to success in life. Do you, by chance, know what I do for a living? Being the wife of an itinerate martial artist who contributes no money to the household does not, of course, pay the bills."

Ranma shrugged. "I dunno. Dad's never told me much about you."

"I"m a teacher, Ranma. In fact, these last few years I've become more of an administrator, but I started out as a teacher. Currently I'm the Vice President of a private high school. Does that surprise you?"

"I guess," Ranma said. "I mean, I never knew... I really never knew anything about you, Mom."

"So," Nodoka said, "When your father tried to make that silly vow, I had him alter it, and then we signed a pledge to set it in stone. The eventual vow was, "If I fail to see that Ranma recieves a proper education and graduates high school with excellent grades, then father and son will both commit ritual seppuku and take our own lives."

As those words began to sink in, Nodoka produced a long curved Samurai sword. "As I said, solemn vows are very important to martial artists like us. I mean to hold them to this vow."

XXX

"But mom! There's no _way_ I can do it! I'm not that smart!"

"Nonsense," Nodoka said. "You've learned martial arts exceedingly well, haven't you? If what I'm told here is true, you're one of the best of your generation."

"But that's different! I've trained in martial arts my whole life!"

"It's just a matter of concentration," Nodoka replied. "You're obviously quite smart and have no trouble learning martial arts. If you turn your full attention to school work, you'll be surprised at what you can accomplish."

"It's not that easy!" Ranma said. "I got distractions coming at me from every direction! Multiple fiancees plotting against me! Multiple enemies attacking me at every turn! New challengers showing up every week! Even if I _wanted_ to, I'd have a hard time focusing on school work..."

"I hate to say it," Akane added, "but Ranma's right. It's pretty crazy around here."

Nabiki nodded. "It's even affected my grades lately, to be honest. Even the Principal of Furinkan and Ranma's Homeroom Teacher are a part of the problem."

"I... see." Nodoka sat in thought.

"So you see, you can't hold that vow against me..."

"No!" Nodoka grabbed the sword and yanked the blade from its sheath. It slipped from her grasp and flipped through the air towards Ranma.

"Ack!" Ranma exclaimed, falling backwards. The blade landed between his legs in the place he'd been moments before. At the same moment he bumped into Nabiki, who dropped a cup of water onto Ranma's head.

"Ooopsie," Nabiki said, looking down at the now-female Ranma.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Nodoka exclaimed. "I'm not very good at handling this..." She picked up the blade, then stared at it sadly. "Ranma," she said. "Should it turn out that you fail to graduate high school with top grades, I shall humbly serve as Kaishaku for you and your father, and then follow you to the grave by slitting my own throat with the same sword..."

She stared at the blade a moment longer. Everyone could see the seriousness in her eyes. The panda in the corner trembled uncontrollably. Then Nodoka brightened.

"But there's still time," she said. "You're only halfway through your junior year. You've got plenty of time to turn things around."

Ranma stared at the floor. "I... I can try..."

Nodoka looked at Ranma speculatively. "Actually," she said, "I think I have an idea that could help you immensely..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Live To Tell The Tale**

Nodoka would say no more of her plans that night. The next day she returned home, still saying nothing, but with a promise to return again soon. Three days passed. Genma tried futilely to convince his son to disappear with him on another long training trip, but Ranma was having none of it. "Mom's right. I've got a year and a half to turn things around. If she has an idea that can help me, then I want to hear it."

That afternoon, Nodoka Saotome returned to the Tendo Dojo. Once they were seated in the living room, she handed a package to Ranma.

"Here, Ranma," she said. "I've brought something that could help you with your studies." Ranma took the package and began to unwrap it. "You will need to be in your girl form to make use of it, however."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "What is it?" he ripped the rest of the wrapping away.

"It's a school uniform," Nodoka said.

Ranma stared at the folded clothing in his lap. He lifted one item. "This? Mom, this is a dress!"

"No, Ranma, it's a skirt."

"Whatever! I can't wear this!"

"My, like that's ever stopped you before?" Nabiki said.

Ranma glared at Nabiki. Nodoka looked surprised. "Then you've dressed as a girl before?"

"Many times," Nabiki said.

"That's not true!" Ranma exclaimed. "Those were only for disguises!"

"Please, Ranma," Nodoka said. "I insist. Once you are properly dressed, come downstairs and we will have a talk."

Nabiki doused Ranma with a glass of water. "Better get moving, Ranma-chan," she said with a smirk.

"I... okay, Mom," Ranma said. She headed up to her room. The aura of depression surrounding her would have rivaled that of Ryoga himself.

XXX

Ten minutes later, Ranma descended the stairs slowly. Her face was bright red.

"Oh my!" Kasumi exclaimed. "You look very nice, Ranma-chan!"

"Thanks, Kasumi." Under her breath she added, "My life is hell!"

Nabiki took one look, then a second, then began to laugh hysterically. "What's so funny?" Ranma growled.

"It's just that... oh Ranma! Don't you recognize that uniform? It's a St. Hebereke uniform!"

In the shocked silence that followed, Nodoka calmly said, "Yes, it is. I am Vice Principal at St. Hebereke's School for Girls, and I have convinced my superior the Principal that it would be okay to enroll my son there -- as a girl student."

There was a moment of shocked silence, then Ranma exclaimed. "But mom, I'm not a girl!"

"Really? It seems that, thanks to your father's foolishness, you are now a girl at least part of the time."

"Yes, but..."

"Ranma," Nodoka asked, "just how long have you had this condition? This 'curse' as you call it?"

"I... for about half a year, I guess. Maybe a little longer."

"And in all that time, you've learned nothing about how to act like a proper lady."

Ranma's eyes bulged. "Mom! I'm a _guy_!"

"From what I can tell," Nodoka said, "you are a boy half of the time, and a girl half of the time. Is that not so?"

"Well yeah, but..."

"And when you are a girl, Ranma, I expect you to act like one."

"Yes, but..."

"Don't worry, Ranma, I realize that you're not to blame. How could you expect your father to teach you such things? He really hasn't even taught you to behave properly as a young man, let alone how to be a proper young girl.

"More importantly, I expect you to become a top student. You are a fine martial artist, that I can see, and I don't believe for a moment that you couldn't put the same effort into your other studies. When I was last here, you mentioned all of the distractions and fighting that goes on at your current school. That is why I propose to place you at a different school -- one where there are few distractions. One where I can help to minimize the chaos around you, and teach you proper study habits, as well as proper etiquette."

"But Mrs. Saotome," Akane said. "you can't force Ranma to live as a girl. That's perverse!"

Nodoka Saotome scowled at Akane. "Perverse? In my book, young lady, not having a good education is what is perverse. My top priority is that Ranma get a good education. If, after that, he still chooses to live as a martial artist, then that is fine. But at the very least Akane, if he is meant to marry you and run that dojo then he will need excellent math and business skills, and frankly, the same goes for you. Do you not agree? Or do you truly believe that your father has run his dojo in a smart and professional manner?"

Akane looked away. "I... I get your point." She turned back. "But Mrs Saotome, there must be some other way!"

"And what would that be? To allow Ranma to continue on as he has done? To allow him to continue to fail? I've seen his transcripts by now, Akane. I know how badly he's been doing. No, if I intend to see my son honor his vow, then I _have_ to do this.

"Now Ranma, I know you weren't born a girl, and I certainly don't expect you to become one. Family Honor is important, and you are destined to marry Akane. But priorities are priorities. Clearly part of the problem is this foolishness that you two should marry before even graduating high school..." She paused to glare at Soun Tendo and her husband Genma.

"That will come to an end immediately. Listen well, Soun Tendo. As the mother of Ranma Saotome, I refuse to allow him to marry before he has graduated from high school. Is that perfectly clear?"

"But... the schools must be joined..."

Nodoka drew her sword and carefully pointed it at the Tendo patriarch. "And _why_ is it so important to do that now, instead of two years from now?"

Soun was sweating now, but to his credit he didn't back down. "There are... circumstances... which conspire against us..."

"Such as?"

"Such as," Nabiki said, "Ranma's other fiancees."

XXX

"I... see," Nodoka said, after Ranma's various fiancees had been explained in detail to her. She continued to glare at her husband for several minutes. "I will have to deal with these other suitors separately. Clearly Akane Tendo has the first claim."

"Yes!" Akane crowed, shoving her fist into the air. Everyone turned to stare at her. "Not that I care," she added, gazing at the ceiling.

"Ba - a - ka," Ranma said softly.

'Look who's talking," Akane replied.

"Ranma," Nodoka said, glaring at her child. "Do not insult your fiancee." She turned her glare onto the youngest Tendo. "The same goes for you, Akane. Clearly the two of you have suffered from a lack of maternal guidance. That is one thing that I intend to fix, whatever else happens.

"However, at the moment, we're here to discuss the most important thing in your life: your education. I'm very disturbed and disappointed in your level of learning so far, Ranma. The itinerant lifestyle you have led so far has been a great detriment to your education. So has being a boy."

"What?"

"Mrs. Saotome!"

Nodoka held up her hands. "No. I don't want to hear any arguments. As an administrator of St. Hebereke, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that girls can be much better students than boys. _Especially_ when there are no boys around to distract them."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "From what I've read, studies bear that out, actually," she said.

"This is my offer, Ranma," Nodoka said. "You will come live with me. You will attend school as a girl, at St. Hebereke, and you will graduate with good grades. Then you are free of the pact you made with me and your father, and may do as you wish."

"If you refuse me, then you must honor the contract. When you fail to graduate high school with good grades -- and here, let me make myself very clear, you _will_ fail to do that if you stay on your present course -- then you and your father will be forced to commit seppeku."

"Mom, I... I _can't_ live as a girl. Not full time."

Nodoka smiled. "I shouldn't think you could," she said. "My rules are that you attend school as a girl, and that you study as a girl, and that any school activities or activities with your school friends, you do so as a girl." She paused, then added, "Also, I would like you to promise to remain a girl for a minimum of five weeks. After that, I may allow you to dress and act as a boy when you are not attending school or involved in school related activities. Is that acceptable?"

"Why do you want me to stay a girl for five weeks?"

"I think it will help you get used to your girl side," Nodoka said. "And there is one other reason. Tell me, Ranma, have you experienced menstruation?"

Ranma's face flushed bright red. "I... ah... once... when Cologne used the cat tongue. I was stuck as a girl for several weeks..."

"I see. But it only happens when you remain in your girl form for several weeks? That is as I suspected. Well, it may be embarrassing, it may be messy, but it's a normal part of being a girl. It's important that you experience _all_ aspects of being a girl. You won't grow comfortable with your female half otherwise."

"But I already done it once! I don't hafta do it again!"

"Ranma, those are my rules and conditions. You do not, of course, have to accept my offer."

"Don't t do it, boy!" Genma yelled, leaping forward. "Don't let her turn you into a girl!"

Nodoka's sword appeared in an instant, levelled at Genma's neck. "Lest we forget," she said icily, "it is _you_ who gave Ranma this girl's body. More to the point, it is _you_ who has failed to educate our son, and it is _you_ who has pledged to commit seppuku if our child fails to graduate..."

Sweat appeared on Genma's brow. A moment later he had assumed the "Crouch of the Wild Tiger" stance -- that is, he was on his hands and knees, bowing and saying, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" over and over. He turned to Ranma and added, "Please, boy! Listen to your mother! You _must_ do this! In fact, it is your _duty_ as a martial artist. Do not fail your father in this!"

"Can I think about it?" Ranma asked.

"Of course, child," Nodoka said. "This is only an offer. In my opinion you will not fulfill your contract otherwise, but the final decision is up to you."

"Akane," she said, "this offer extends to you as well. If you wish, you can come to live with me and attend school at St. Hebereke. I'm sure you would benefit from the same environment, with fewer distractions, and with me to help you in your studies. And as I said, there are also things that your mother would have taught you, that you still need to learn. Things that _I_ could teach you."

Akane nodded. "I... thank you, Auntie Nodoka. I'd have to think about it as well."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Slaying The Dreamer**

"So, Ranma... what about what your Mom said last night?"

It was a typical school morning. Akane and Ranma were, as usual, running late. Akane ran down the street while Ranma ran atop the nearby fence.

"What about it?"

"Are you really going to consider it? I mean, seriously?"

Ranma laughed derisively. "Fat chance, Akane. I know Mom's only trying to help and all, but I ain't gonna be a girl. No way, no how."

"But then," Akane said, "you're going to have to graduate from Furikan with good grades, right? Can you really do that?"

"Of course!" Ranma said. "Look, there's a test today, isn't there?"

"Yes," Akane said. "A history test. The last class of the day. There's always one on a Friday, you should know that."

"Okay!" Ranma said, slamming his fist into his palm. "This is it! This is my challenge! If I can study for that and pass it, then that proves I don't need Mom's help to graduate."

"You think you can do that?"

"Of course I can!" Ranma replied, exuding confidence. "Mom's right – all it takes is concentration! I can do anything if I set my mind to it!"

A bicycle flew past Akane's field of vision. "Airen!" Shampoo glomped Ranma in a fierce hug.

"Shampoo! Get off of me!"

"You date Shampoo today, yes?"

Several spiked and bladed objects on chains flew at Ranma, along with a duck-shaped bedpan. Ranma leaped straight up, just managed to avoid them.

"Saotome!" a familiar voice yelled out. "Keep your hands off of my Shampoo!"

"I didn't do nothing!" Ranma yelled back, as he landed on the fence. His feet slipped, and a second later he -- that is, she -- was sitting in the middle of the nearby stream.

Akane just shook her head. "Good luck with that plan of yours, Ranma," she called out, before running off.

XXX

The day did not get much better for Ranma. His newfound resolve to actually study for a test was, well, being tested. Ranma had really never taken schoolwork seriously for more than a two minute stretch at any point in his life, so the idea that he could transform into a top student overnight was a bit like expecting a zebra to suddenly grow green polka-dots instead of the usual black and white stripes. But Ranma did not know the meaning of the word "impossible". In fact, there was really no limit to the things he didn't know, which was pretty much the problem in a nutshell.

Ranma wasted no time. Right after getting settled down during first period, he borrowed a history book from Ukyo (having no real idea where his own might be) and opened it to a random page. He'd red no more than five words, when he was interrupted by one of his so-called friends.

"Whatcha doing, Saotome?" Hiroshi asked.

"Studying for the history test," Ranma said.

"No, really. What are you doing?"

Ranma scowled. "I said, I'm studying for the history test!"

"Whoah!" Daisuke exclaimed. "Something must be really wrong between you and Akane! What happened, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" Ranma growled. "Nothing's happened."

"But if you're pretending to actually study..."

"I am _not_ pretending!"

"Whatever. If you don't wanna talk about it, that's cool."

Miss Hinako glared at the three boys in question. "Talking in class? Ignoring the lecture?"

"What lecture?" Hiroshi asked. "You were reciting a children's rhyme while spinning in circles..."

"Delinquents! You will pay! Happo-Five-Yen Satsu!"

"Oh, jeez," Ranma said, just as the ki-draining attack hit him.

XXX

The rest of the morning was slightly less successful, in that Ranma failed at any point to even read as much as five words of the history book. When the lunch bell sounded, Ranma bounded out of the room with the thought that he might actually be able to study better outside on the lawn, instead of in class. This goes to show how little he was actually learning...

"How's the studying going?" Akane asked. "As if I didn't already know..."

"Uh, not so good," Ranma said, " but I'm just about to really get going..."

"Ranma Honey!" Ukyo called out. "Over here! I've got an okonomiyaki made just for you!"

"Can't," Ranma said. "I gotta study." Meanwhile his feet followed his nose unerringly to Ukyo's grill. "Well, just one," he said. "Or two. Or three. All this studying is making me hungry."

"Whatcha studying?" Ukyo asked.

"Ah, this stupid history test," Ranma said. "Something about an Ego Period..."

"Edo Period?"

"Yeah, that. I think there were some wars and stuff. I'm still working out the details..."

"Saotome, you fiend! How dare you shun the bento offering of the precious Akane Tendo!"

Ranma lept into the air. A wooden bokken sliced through the air, gouging the ground where Ranma had been sitting. "Sheesh, Kuno," Rama yelled. "What the heck's your problem? Akane didn't even _make_ me a lunch today..."

"Silence! I will not hear you slander the beauteous Akane Tendo!"

"Who's slandering? Cripes, Kuno, I don't even gotta do or say anything to set you off anymore do I?"

"Defend thyself, cur! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!"

XXX

"...An' so I wan call dis here school gatherin' fo' to announce de brand new school policy! De buzz cuts for de bruddas, and de bowl cuts for de waihines! You like?"

The gathered students stared dumbly up at the stage, where their Hawaii-obsessed principal was displaying two very familiar banners.

"Uh... what part of this is supposed to be new, again?" Hiroshi asked.

"I glad you ask, Brudda! I wen gon' hid a pardon f'om de rules in dis here coconut! Any brudda-sista t'row some hands wit me an' get dis nut gonna be free from de new rules!"

"But that's _exactly the same as before_!" several students shouted.

"No! De befo' time, I wan give you t'ree days! _Dis_ time I only give you t'ree hours fo' do it!"

Fireworks shot off from the stage. "Aloha, keikis!" the principal yelled out. "We gon' have some big-time fun now!"

Daisuke and Hiroshi turned to Ranma, who still had his face buried in a book. "Ranma? Are you paying attention?"

"Can't," Ranma mumbled. "Gotta study."

"Ranma! You're going to fight him, right?"

"No time! Gotta study."

Hiroshi grabbed Ranma by shirt and shook him. "Ranma! he growled. "We need your help! WAKE UP!"'

Ranma looked straight into his schoolmate's eyes. "Hiroshi?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"In the battle of Sekigahara in 1600, Ieyasu defeated the Hedeyori loyalists."

Hiroshi blinked. "What?"

"History," Ranma said. "The Evil Period. That's when this Ieyasu guy assumed total power... and became evil. I think."

"Look, Ranma," Daisuke said. "History is all well and good, but this is _serious._" He pointed Ranma in the direction of the Principal, who was still cavorting about up on the stage.

"That's right!" Hiroshi added. "You want to talk about evil? Let's talk about Principal Kuno!"

"Aw jeez, not again," Ranma said. "Look, I gotta study for this test..."

"It can wait!" Daisuke said. "Right now, you have a greater calling!"

"Yes! Hiroshi said. In the name of the moon, and for the sake of our hair, you must punish him!"

XXX

Clearly, P.E. was the one class unsuitable for cramming for a test. At least, _most_ students would have realized this, but Ranma was growing increasingly desperate, and forged ahead. Even while walking through the locker room, wearing nothing but a towel about his waist, he still had his head buried deep in a book...

SPLASH

"Oh no! Sorry Ranma! I guess that bucket of cold water just slipped out of my hands!"

"Before he could even get dressed, too. Talk about tragic!"

"I guess I'm just clumsy that way!"

Ranma glanced up only long enough to say, "Idiot. You got Ukyo's history book all wet." Then she continued on to her locker, still reading furiously.

Hiroshi and Daisuke glanced at each other, and then back to Ranma's buxom and very exposed chest.

"Uh... yeah," Daisuke said. "What was I thinking?"

XXX

The last period of the day approached, and Ranma was no closer to being an expert on the Edo Period than he'd ever been. He turned to the one person he always turned when absolutely, hopelessly desperate.

"Nabiki!" Ranma said. "I need help. I need a place to study quietly, so I can pass this test next period!"

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Sure, Ranma," she said. "Whatever you want."

"Thanks, Nabiki! I..."

Nabiki held out her hand. "For only 10,000 yen," she added.

"What? I ain't got 10,000 yen!"

"Well, that's too bad," Nabiki said. "Good luck on the test, then..."

"No! Wait! I can owe you..."

XXX

Ranma stared at the history test in growing horror. He'd studied, hadn't he? This time he hadn't just pretended to study, he had really _tried_. So why weren't the answers coming to him?

He scanned the test, desperately trying to think of answers to the questions in front of him. "Ieyasu's rise to power in 1600 signaled the beginning of what period in Japanese history?" Damn, he knew that one. What was it? It started with an E... Oh that's right! The Emo Period!

Ranma quickly jotted down the answer, then looked at it in satisfaction. Why, this wasn't so hard! All of his studying had paid off after all!

He stared at another question. "What Emperor was the Meiji Restoration named after?" Ranma's satisfied grin faded. Damn! How was he supposed to know _that_? Ranma wracked his brain, trying to think of the name of an emperor... _any_ emperor. He seemed to recall one from a movie he'd seen recently... what was it? Oh yeah! Emperor Palpatine!

Quickly he jotted down the answer, then stared at it critically. Well, at least that was _an_ emperor. Hopefully it was the right one, but if not, he should get partial credit for remembering the name of one of the other emperors. Now, on to the next question...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Dead To The World**

"How'd you do on the test, Ranma?"

Akane and Ranma were headed back home through the streets of Nerima. Ranma groaned. The cloud of doom that had surrounded him yesterday was back in full force. "Do you even gotta ask, Akane?"

Akane's face fell. "That bad, huh?"

"I never had a chance. I didn't even get ten free minutes to study all day! And I tried, I really, really tried this time!"

"Oh well," Akane said. "Maybe you'll do better next time."

"No," Ranma said. "Face it, Akane. I got no chance. Even when I tried my very hardest, I got nothing accomplished. I think... I think I've had enough."

"Had enough of what?"

"Of this. Of a school where the teachers attack me, where the principal decides to waste half the day in an all-out brawl with the students, where even my so-called friends 'accidentally' splash water on me every day in the locker room, where challengers and fiancees feel free to interrupt whatever I'm doing at any moment of the day... I mean, Mom's right. I can't win in this environment. If I don't make some major changes, I'm never going to graduate."

"Ranma, you don't mean..."

"Yeah. I'm taking Mom up on her offer."

"But Ranma! That would mean living as a girl... dressing as a girl... attending a girl's school..."

"I know. It's not like I _want_ to do it, but I think it's my only chance if I want to get good grades and graduate. And it's not so bad, being a girl, if it's only part time. I mean, it's never really bothered me all that much, except that Pops is always on me about being as manly as possible... but Mom doesn't see it the same way. And I'll get to live with Mom, and get to know her. After all these years of living with Pops, it'll be a nice change of pace."

"Ranma," Akane said, "if that's what you really want, then I'll come with you."

"You don't have to do that, Akane."

"No. I can help you. It'll do me good to get away from all this craziness too. And... I'm sure your mother can teach me some things, too. I'd really like the chance to get to know her better, too."

XXX

"Are you sure about this, Ranma?" Kasumi asked as she set the table for the evening meal. "I know you don't like having to dress as a girl..."

The shori had been slid back to reveal the side yard and koi pond. The sun was warming the grass and the wooden engawa. Ranma listened to the hum of cicadas, the splash of a koi, the tinkle of the wind chime as a light breeze caressed it. He closed his eyes for a moment, soaking it all in, aware that he might soon be moving away from the only real home he'd ever known.

"I'm sure, Kasumi," he finally said. "If I seriously want to get good grades, then I need a change of scenery. It's only for a while, I'll get to know my mother better, and I think it won't be nearly so bad at a school with no boys."

"Kodachi Kuno attends school there, remember," Akane said as she walked into the room.

Ranma shuddered. "Don't remind me! At least that's one good thing about being a girl though, she won't be chasing after me as much..."

"Only trying to kill you," Akane said.

"Fighting I can handle," Ranma replied. "It's the other stuff..." He shuddered again.

"How's father?" Kasumi asked.

"Still bawling like a baby," Akane said. "Honestly, it's not as if I'm moving to another planet or something. I'll be just across town..."

"Poor father! Your moving out is going to be very hard on him."

"Yeah, I know."

"Are _you_ sure about this, Akane?" Kasumi asked.

"I... not completely, I admit. But I do think it'll be for the best. As much as this is for Ranma's benefit, _I_ need to concentrate on my schoolwork more. And getting to graduate from a prestigious school like St. Hebereke will only benefit me in the long run."

"It just makes me sad to think of you leaving here, even if you're not that far away," Kasumi said. "I'm going to miss you terribly..." She paused to wipe a tear from her eye. "Oh, look at me, crying just like father..."

"I don't want to talk about it, or I'll start crying too," Akane said.

Ranma smirked. "Just like girls to get all weepy..."

"Ranma!" Akane growled. "Knock it off!"

Kasumi embraced Ranma in a warm hug. "Don't worry, Ranma, I'm going to miss having you here too. But whatever happens, you can count on my support. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask!"

"Thanks, Kasumi. I... that means a lot to me. I've always felt like... well, if I had an older sister, that is... I'd want her to be just like you..."

"Don't be silly, Ranma. I've _always_ thought of you as the little brother I never had. And you _are_ going to be my little brother one day, if and when you and Akane marry." Ranma smiled at that, and Kasumi added, "And you'll also be my little sister into the bargain..."

Ranma's smile faded. He sighed. "I'm not your sister, Kasumi. I'm not a girl..."

Kasumi pulled back and looked Ranma in the eyes. "Ranma, I know that someday you might find a way to break the curse. But until then, you _are_ a girl, part of the time. I think your mother wants you to admit that and accept that, because denying it does you no good."

"Yeah, I know. But I don't _want_ to be a girl... it's just that I.. I..."

"Are you afraid that you might like it?"

"What? No!"

Oh, Ranma," Kasumi said. "There's nothing wrong with being a girl, you know."

"Easy for a girl to say! But I ain't a girl, I'm a guy!"

"Of course you are," Kasumi said. "No matter your outward appearance, deep down, you'll always be a guy. That much is obvious to anyone willing to look. Even _if_ you learn to like being a girl some of the time, that's not going to change. You're not going to stop being who you are, you know. Don't be afraid to embrace your girl side, it's just another part of you."

Ranma had no reply to that. Akane sat nearby, fidgeting but saying nothing. For several moments the room remained silent, and then Kasumi stood. "I'll just finish getting dinner ready then," she said, heading back to the kitchen.

Moments later, Genma strode into the room shouldering a backpack. He tossed a second one at Ranma, who caught it and groaned.

"Just great," he muttered. "Here we go again..."

XXX

"Come, boy!" Genma exclaimed. "There's no time to lose, we must escape! Your mother will be here soon! It's now or never!"

"Don't be stupid, Mr. Saotome," Akane said.

"Forgive me, Akane," Genma said, "but this has nothing to do with you."

Akane's face grew red. "It has _everything_ to do with..."

"No. Ranma needs no advice from you. It's listening to the advice of weak-willed women that's gotten us into this mess..."

"I'm not going anywhere, Pop."

Genma stared at his son, anger evident in his face. "Don't you understand, boy? She's going to try turning you into a _girl_!"

"No she's..." Ranma paused, glancing toward the kitchen where Katsumi was. A knowing gleam appeared in his eyes. "So what if she does?" he asked. "What's wrong with being a girl, anyway?"

"You little sissy!" Genma bellowed. "Haven't I taught you better? Girls are weak and stupid! No son of mine will ever..."

Ranma had been ready to leap up and seize his father, but instead, Akane stepped forward. Grabbing her potential future father-in-law by his dirty gi, she heaved and threw. Moments later there was a loud splash as the heavy-set martial artist landed in the koi pond. A familiar panda surfaced, bellowing angrily, and brandishing a wooden bucket filled with water.

"Thanks Akane," Ranma said. "I was just about to do that..."

"Figured it was my turn," she replied curtly.

Ranma stepped out onto the grass. "In case you've forgotten, old man, _you're_ the one that turned me into a girl. Remember?" As if to demonstrate, the bucket hit Ranma right at that moment, drenching him and instantly transforming him into her.

The panda held up a sign that read, "It was all in the name of the art! I take no responsibility!"

"That's beside the point now. If I'm going to live up to that stupid oath you made with Mom, then I gotta do this. Why did you make such a stupid agreement anyway?"

The panda held up another sign that read, "Everything I have done was necessary to teach you the art!"

"This is never about me, is it? Even when it's about me, it's really always about you. Well, pops, has it occurred to you that in doing this, I'm saving your neck as well as my own?"

The panda held up another sign that read, "You may be saving our lives, but at what cost?"

Ranma just rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever, old man," Ranma said.

"How does he write those signs so fast?" Akane asked.

Ranma shrugged "Dunno. But I bet that trick would be really useful during a test..."

"Hello! Is anyone home?" The voice coming from the front gate was that of Nodoka Saotome.

Genma held up another sign that read, "Too late! Now, son, be prepared to lose every last scrap of your dignity!" He turned and fled down the street.

Ranma turned and walked back into the dining room, where her mother was already waiting for her.

"Good evening, Ranma. Is your father about?"

"You mean the panda, last seen fleeing East?"

Nodoka sighed. "I had hoped to have him present for this; this decision affects him as much as you. But never mind. I am told that you have an answer for me?"

Ranma nodded her head solemnly. She knelt at the table, water still dripping from her forehead.

"I accept the conditions of your offer," Ranma said. "I.. I don't think I have any other choice, if I want to graduate with good grades."

XXX

Nodoka Saotome did not smile. She looked upon her with the heavy, steady, all-knowing gaze of a budda statue. "This is a very serious decision, my son," she said. "You will live with me as my daughter and attend St. Hebereke School for Girls as my daughter, for the next year and a half, until you've graduated from high school. You will study under my tutelage, and will act and react in all ways as my daughter. If you agree to this, I can have the paperwork submitted immediately so that you can start school at St. Hebereke on Monday. Do you agree, then, to become my daughter?"

Ranma looked frightened. "I.. you said it was only for a few weeks... being a girl full-time, I mean..."

Nodoka stared hard at her currently female son. "I know exactly what I said, daughter. Five weeks, _at a minimum_, after which I _may_ allow you to dress and act as a boy when not attending school or school related activities."

Ranma glanced up. "Huh? Now wait a second... that's not what you..."

Nabiki smirked. "Oh dear, Saotome. Weren't you paying attention the other day? Those were your mother's _exact words._"

"The_ point _of that part of the agreement is for you to become as comfortable in your female form as you are in your male form. As I said before, your father has hardly raised you to be a proper young man, let alone a proper young lady. He's planted many misconceptions about women into your head, and about what it means to be a man or a woman. All of that must change. Therefore, you will promise to remain a girl until I'm convinced that you've fully embraced your feminine side."

"What if you're not convinced? How long would I have to remain a girl?"

"The contract is in force until you graduate from high school, of course."

"You mean... I'd have to stay a girl for a _year and a half_?"

"Potentially, although I certainly hope not," Nodoka said. "Honestly, I can hardly envision you remaining a girl for a full year and a half and somehow _not_ adjusting to being a girl at some point. But you _will_ remain a girl until I'm satisfied that you _have_ adjusted." She smiled and added, "When that point comes, Ranma, it will hardly matter to you whether you _are_ a boy or a girl, because you'll be comfortable in either role."

"But – I _can't_. I'm _not_ a girl!"

"There's nothing _wrong_ with being a girl, Ranma. That's the first thing you need to learn. If you approach this as some punishment to be endured then we will accomplish nothing."

XXX

"Honestly, Ranma," Akane said. "It's not like being a girl is a jail sentence."

"Yeah," Ranma said. "I know. And I already agreed on this." She sighed heavily and added, "Okay. I accept the terms of our agreement. I... agree to become your daughter."

Nodoka smiled for the first time. "And I accept. From this point forward, until your graduation, you shall be my daughter." She leaned forward suddenly and embraced Ranma in a fierce hug. "Oh, Ranma-chan, I know you won't regret this!"

"I... thanks, Mom. I sure hope so."

Nodoka produced a large package wrapped in brown paper. "Here, Ranma. Take this..."

Ranma accepted the package nervously. "What is it?"

"Open it and see."

Ranma shredded the brown paper. Beneath it was bright yellow cloth printed with lavender flowers. Ranma held up a strapless summer dress with white lace trim and a full, billowing skirt. Beneath it were light yellow bra and panties, socks with lace trim, and some brown leather pumps.

"I _do_ hope I got the measurements right," Nodoka said.

"Oh Ranma, it looks lovely!" Kasumi exclaimed, clapping her hands together in delight.

Ranma stared at the clothing as if it contained some deadly plague. "W-w-what do you want me to do with this?"

"I want you to go upstairs and change into it, of course. What did you think?"

"But... mom... I..."

Nodoka raised an eyebrow. "Ranma, did you not just agree to become my daughter?"

"Well yeah, but... school doesn't start until Monday. Why do I gotta change _now_?"

"Because the terms of our agreement _start_ now," Nodoka said. "I was afraid of this reaction. Honestly, Ranma, if a little thing like wearing a dress makes you flinch and complain, then how can you be ready to live as a girl or attend school as a girl?"

"I..." Ranma started, and then bowed her head. "Okay, Mother. I understand. I'll go put this on now."


	5. Chapter 5

8-15-7: Slight edit to fix a reference to ear piercing. In a very early draft during the shopping trip in Chapter Six I had Ranma get her ears pierced. At the time this seemed like a nice, dangerous line to cross in her quest to become a more perfect girl. Then I did some research and realized that it's very uncommon for Japanese girls to have their ears pierced – at the very least, it's somewhat rebellious, and not something any girl would do while a mother as traditional as Nodoka Saotome looked on. I dropped this scene before publishing it, but later noticed that Chapter Five had a line by Nabiki to the effect that it was normal for girls to get their ears pierced – obviously to set up the later scene. I'd missed it and failed to remove it; now it's been replaced.

**Chapter Five: White Night Fantasy**

After Ranma had trudged upstairs, Akane said, ""Forgive me, Mrs. Saotome, but aren't you being a bit harsh on Ranma?"

"Harsh? How is forcing a girl to dress and act as a girl in any way harsh?"

"But Ranma's not _really_ a girl..."

"Akane, you're in denial as much as Ranma is, and I'm afraid that what you say and do only makes things worse." Nodoka held up a hand to forestall Akane's protests. "No, Akane, hear me out. Ranma is of course a young man first, but he is also a young woman part of the time. This you can not deny, and I intend that _she_ also learns what it means to be a young woman. Her father has clearly drilled many misconceptions into her head regarding women. She thinks we are inferior. She fears showing your emotions. She fears anything vaguely feminine."

"Oh my!" Katsumi exclaimed. "You know your daughter so well!"

"And, might I add, having you, Akane, call her a pervert whenever she does anything remotely feminine only exacerbates the problem. That's why _you_ have much to learn as well. You need to learn to treat Ranma as a girl, when she is a girl, and to be comfortable with her acting as a girl."

"But... but that's..."

"What? Perverse?" Nodoka raised an eyebrow. "Don't you see how such language destroys Ranma's self esteem, how it prevents her from embracing her female half?"

"Well... but I don't _want_ him to..."

Nodoka grasped Akane's hands in hers. "Akane dear, you must understand, this is also for your benefit. Once Ranma understands what it means to be a woman, he will make a better man, and in the future a better husband. Unlike some husbands I could name."

"But, Mrs. Saotome... it's just... aren't you asking too much of Ranma, this time?"

Nodoka smiled. "My son has worked very hard and has become one of the best martial artist's I've ever known. That ability to focus and learn can be channeled to other tasks, I'm certain of it. I have faith that my son can do anything he sets his mind to."

Akane sighed. "Maybe you're right," she said. "Once he sets his mind to something, Ranma never gives up."

"That's not entirely true," said Nabiki as she stepped into the room. "Ranma's failed or given up on any number of things that he intended to do. What you mean to say is that once he's _accepted a formal challenge_, he never gives up."

Akane frowned. "Yeah. You're right."

"I wonder if Ranma sees this in that light?" Nabiki said. For a moment she stared off into space, a thoughtful look on her face. Then she turned and headed for the stairs.

Akane watched her sister go, wondering what she might be up to now. But Nodoka interrupted her thoughts. "So tell me, Akane. Have you considered my offer to you?"

"I... yeah," Akane replied. "I accept it as well. I think I can help Ranma, and... I could use a change of scenery as well. My grades have suffered, since Ranma came ."

She paused, and then added, "But Mrs. Saotome, is it really going to be as easy as all that? Chaos follows Ranma everywhere... Ukyo and Shampoo will certainly follow us, and then others as well. I'm afraid switching schools won't really change anything..."

"Don't worry about that, dear. I already have some ideas on that score..."

XXX

Ranma stepped out of the room she shared with her father, wearing the dress and other clothing her mother had brought. Before she took two steps she was blinded by a bright flash. Ranma blinked, then glared at Nabiki, who stood in the hallway with her ever-present camera.

"Oh, my, Ranchan," Nabiki exclaimed. "don't you just look _precious_! What an _adorable_ little girl you make!"

"Can it, Nabiki. I ain't in the mood."

"But you're so _cute_ in that flouncy dress! Oh, but that pigtail has to go – you should ask your mother style your hair, some bouncy curls would be fabulous! Just a little makeup and some lavender nail polish, and you'll have _all_ the boys after you."

"Nabiki..." Ranma growled.

"You need some pretty dangling earrings too. Any self-respecting girl your age has some nice earrings to wear."

"Never! I ain't no girl!"

Nabiki smirked, placing her hands on her hips. "Good grief, Saotome. It takes so little to get to you. It's like shooting fish in a barrel, it's not even sporting."

"You got a point?"

"Of course I do. Here you promised your mom to live as a girl and inside of a minute I've got you swearing that you aren't one. Face it, Saotome, you can't do this," Nabiki said. "Give it up already."

Ranma's face grew red. "Shut up! I _can_ do this! I can do whatever I want!"

Nabiki suddenly reached out and lifted the skirt of Ranma's dress. Ranma yelled and jumped back out of reach.

"Oh my! Matching yellow panties, how lovely!"

Ranma's face went red. "Nabiki," she growled, "You're really treading on thin ice here..."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, Saotome. There's nothing special about one girl seeing another girl's panties. You _do_ realize, don't you, that if you attend St. Hebereke, you'll have to change in the girl's locker with the other girls? Have you even considered that?"

"I..." Ranma's face went pale. "I... um..."

"Obviously you hadn't considered it." Nabiki laughed. "Give it up, Saotome. You, attend a girl's school? Graduate with straight A's? Never gonna happen. Give me a break. You know it isn't in you. It is, in a word, impossible."

"No it ain't! If I put my mind to it, I can do anything!"

"Ranma, if _I_ set my mind to it, I could easily be the top student at St. Hebereke. But you? You couldn't possibly get better grades than me if you tried."

"That sounds like a challenge."

Nabiki smirked. "If you like."

"Fine!" Ranma growled. "I can out-girl student you any day of the week!"

"Very well," Nabiki said. "I formally accept your challenge." She extended her hand. Ranma shook it without a second thought.

XXX

The full Tendo clan, along with two-thirds of the Saotome clan, rode a train across town to where Nodoka Saotome lived. Only Genma Saotome was absent. He had not returned for dinner, a clear indication of how upset he was by the current turn of events. Most figured he would lay low for another day or two, avoiding his wife and son-turned-daughter completely.

Akane sat between Mrs. Saotome and her father, who still had tears flowing down his cheeks, as he had for several hours now. Akane wondered if he would become dehydrated from all of that crying. On the other side of a large stack of suitcases and boxes sat her eldest sister Kasumi, while Ranma and Nabiki sat a ways apart, talking in low tones.

Akane wondered about that. Normally Ranma had as little to do with Nabiki as possible. She was also wearing that ultra-girly sun dress her mother had brought her, and acting completely unselfconscious about it. Something else was on Ranma's mind, something more important than going out in public in a flouncy, flowery cotton dress.

Those two were up to something, but what?

Akane glanced down at the envelope in Nodoka Saotome's hands. Before they'd left, Ranma had signed a formal agreement sealing the deal between mother and daughter. There really was no backing out now – Ranma was going to be a girl for the rest of high school. Akane would have to get used to thinking of him as a girl. She wasn't sure she could do that, just yet.

Also in there was the document she'd signed with Mrs. Saotome. She'd been surprised at that – that she'd also been expected to sign a formal agreement. But it was more involved than just living with Ranma's mother and attending school at St. Hebereke. Akane had also agreed to work hard and graduate with good grades. That was fine with her, she wanted nothing less than that for herself. She'd also agreed to treat Ranma as a girl and support her in her "goal to embrace her female self, and to become a fully-round young lady" and to help and support her primary goal of graduating high school with good grades. Akane wasn't really sure what she thought about all of that, but she'd signed anyway.

The last bit had been the most personal. Akane had agreed to become Nodoka Saotome's temporary daughter. It wasn't anything as formal as adoption, but Nodoka wanted to act as Akane's mother for the year and a half that She would be attending St. Hebereke and living at Nodoka's house. _That_ had taken Akane completely by surprise.

_"I'm not trying to replace your mother," Nodoka had said. "You must realize that. It's just... you seem as if you've been missing a mother for so long, and there are a lot of things that I can teach you that only a mother can teach._

_"Of course, should you and Ranma marry one day, I will become your mother by law. But I want you to think of me as your mother regardless. Even if it should come to pass that for some reason you and Ranma do not marry – I still want you to think of me as your mother. I'll always be here when you need me. It would make me very happy to have you call me mother."_

_The lump in Akane's throat had been so large it was painful. She'd hugged Nodoka, tears flowing down her cheeks, and had finally managed to choke out, "Thank you! I'd like that very much, Mrs... Mother."_

Thinking about it again, Akane couldn't keep the tears from her eyes once again. Nodoka noticed immediately. "Is something wrong, daughter?" she asked.

_Daughter_, Akane thought. If only Ranma's stupid dad weren't around, then maybe... well no, that was a stupid idea. A _really_ stupid idea. But still, after all these years, to have someone she could call _Mother_... and since it was Ranma's mother, it somehow didn't feel like a betrayal of her own mother, whom she could just barely remember...

"I don't know why, but I can't stop crying," Akane said. "I'm as bad as Father..."

Nodoka pulled Akane into a tight embrace. "That's not true at all, Akane," she said. "Yours are just tears of happiness, and you should never be afraid of being too happy."

XXX

"So what's the rules, exactly?" Ranma asked.

"We'll keep things simple," Nabiki said. "First, you must get better grades than me, either this year, or else by the time you graduate. I'm giving you two chances there – your grades this year versus mine, or your grades for your Senior year, again versus mine for this, my own Senior year."

Ranma frowned. "Okay. But St. Hebereke has higher standards than Furinkan. Comparing your grades at Furinkan to mine at St. Hebereke ain't fair."

"You have a point." Nabiki paused, looking thoughtful. "Tell you what. I'll ask your mother to let me into St. Hebereke too. How does that sound?"

"Uh... sure, I guess," Ranma said. "You think you can convince her?"

"I'll do my best. If she doesn't allow me in, then it can't be helped, we'll just have to compare grades regardless of which school handed them out."

Ranma nodded. "Okay, fair enough I guess. Is that it?"

"No, I think there should be a little bit more than that. We need to test your ability to act and react as a girl in some way... let's say, I'll provide three tests before the end of the year that you must pass – things that any normal girl would have no problems doing."

Ranma studied Nabiki warily, aware that she was almost certainly walking into a trap. "Things that you have to do too?"

"Sure. It's not a competition otherwise."

Ranma continued to watch Nabiki in the way one would watch a tiger after stumbling upon it in the wild. "I ain't kissing or hugging any guys," she said. 'Or going on any dates with guys. Nothing like that, got it?"

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Sure, Saotome. I'm sure I can come up with something that doesn't involve kissing guys..."

"Okay then," Ranma finally said. "If you can do it, I can do it."

Nabiki smiled. "You're on Saotome. And may the best _girl_ win!"

"Wait," Ranma said. "What's the prize? What do we win?"

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "_Must_ there be a prize?"

"No," Ranma said, "but I've never known you to do anything if there wasn't money involved somehow."

"Your lack of faith in me wounds me deeply," Nabiki said, "however, I _did_ have something in mind. Let's say, the loser will award the winner an all-expenses paid day trip to Cesare's Salon and Spa... you know, the place West of downtown? They offer an exciting assortment of services including manicure, pedicure, facial, skin treatment, body wraps, mud bath, body massage, sauna... oh, but it would be a terrible shame to experience such a lavish beauty treatment if you had nowhere to go afterwards, so let's say that the deal includes a trip to a hair styling salon, a new dress of the winner's choice -- price can be negotiated, we want to keep things within reason here -- and dinner for two and tickets to a movie, or perhaps to the theatre or opera house."

Ranma nearly choked. "What? Now just wait a minute, Nabiki. I don't even know if I could afford that..."

"You've got a year or so to save up the money," Nabiki said.

"But more importantly," Ranma continued, "_why _would I want something like that? I'm a gu..."

Ranma suddenly clamped her mouth shut. Nabiki cupped a hand to her ear. "Yes? You were saying something?"

"Nothing," Ranma muttered.

"I suppose you want to say that such a reward is too girlish. But, Ranma, This _is_ a competition to see who can be the best _girl_ student, is it not? Naturally, the prize should be something a _girl_ would like. And I might add, if you're not interested in the prize then you've already lost the battle."

Ranma glared at her with a look of pure loathing. "You fight dirty, Nabiki."

"Of course," Nabiki said. "It's a girl thing, you know..."

XXX

Ranma's gaze swept the room. She was impressed -- her mother had been busy. Apparently convinced that both Ranma and Akane would accept her offer, she'd moved her own things into the guest bedroom at her house, and then had remodeled the much larger master bedroom. A massive row of shelves divided the room in half, floor to ceiling, with a study desk built into each side. There was a bed on each side, and a chest of drawers, and Ranma's half of the room contained a large wardrobe, while Akane's side inherited the closet. This meant Ranma's half was a bit more cramped.

Akane pulled aside the curtain that now separated her room from Ranma's.

"Well?" Ranma asked. "What do you think?"

Akane grimaced. "I'm not exactly thrilled about it. I mean, it's a nice room, but sharing with you, even if it's divided like this... well, as long as you stay on your half, it should be okay."

"Hey now, _I_ have to deal with you walking through my room to get to yours."

"That's different, you're a bo..." Akane caught herself just in time.

"I'm a what?"

"You know what I mean. It's just different, is all."

"Because I'm not _really_ a girl."

"Don't bait me, Ranma. You're a girl, I know that. But you've been a boy before and you'll be one eventually again. I've always been a girl. _That's_ the difference."

Ranma rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay. Point taken."

Akane studied Ranma's half of the room. "Well, _my_ stuff is all moved in. How about you? Your side looks pretty bare."

Ranma shrugged. "I don't own much, and Mom insisted that I leave all my guy clothes behind. There's some things -- socks and underwear -- in the top drawer, and another dress in the wardrobe. I managed to talk her into letting me keep one outfit to work out in -- one of Shampoo's silk outfits that I used when I was waitin' tables at the Cat Café, so it's a bit flowery and girly -- but that's it. Oh, and a frilly nighty..."

Akane blinked. "Really? Your – I mean _Mom_ seems to be going completely overboard on the whole girl thing."

"Yeah. I think she's trying for some sort of shock therapy or somethin'. Like makin' everything extra girly will make me adapt faster, somehow." Ranma made a face. "And we're supposed to buy more girl clothes for me tomorrow." Then Ranma suddenly smiled. "Well, actually, I don't mind. If I'm gonna be a girl student then I'm going to be the _best_ girl student there is!"

Ranma began to laugh maniacally. "Ranma?" Akane asked, suddenly worried. "Ranma? What's up?" But Ranma was lost in her own world, cackling like a demon in hell and muttering under her breath.

"Think she can out-girl student me, does she? He he he... well she's got no idea who she's dealing with... ha ha ha!"

XXX

Nodoka sat in her livingroom with Soun Tendo and his two elder daughters, Kasumi and Nabiki. On the wall was placed the family heirloom, the katana that Nodoka was fond of carrying around. The sun was setting in the West. It had been agreed upon ahead of time that the Tendos would spend the night here, before traveling back to their Dojo on Saturday.

"My apologies for taking your youngest daughter away from you," Nodoka said solemnly.

Soun, who had already spent many hours crying over his loss, was finally putting on a brave face. "Think nothing of it, Mrs. Saotome. I know it's all for the best. Akane will do well at St. Hebereke's, I'm sure of it. And after all, you were separated from Ranma for so many years... I'm sure I can manage somehow..." Tears began to fall down his face once again. "Oh, my Akaaaane..." Soun wailed.

"As for your request," Nodoka said, turning to Nabiki, "It has been hard enough to talk the Principal into waiving tuition on two girls. Three would be difficult indeed."

"Please, Mrs. Saotome. I can help you."

Nodoka's eyes narrowed. "You can? From what I've heard, you were more than a little responsible for the chaos that plagued my daughter at her previous school..."

Nabiki flinched. "Well... that's partly true, I guess. But trust me, I know what motivates Ranma. And... it would mean a lot to me, personally. Something you said struck home. You said that girls are better students than boys, especially when there are no boys around to distract them. I've been distracted too long, Mrs. Saotome. I have less than a year left to get ready for college entrance exams, and being at an all-girl's school will help me focus on my studies more."

Nodoka nodded. "I can understand that."

"Even if my grades don't improve that much, a graduate from St. Hebereke has better prospects than one from Furinkan."

"Oh, I hadn't considered that," Kasumi exclaimed. "St. Hebereke _is_ a fairly prestigious private school, isn't it?"

"It is indeed," Nodoka said. "So then, this is for your own benefit, Nabiki?"

"Not just that. What I said about Ranma is true. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that he – forgive me, _she_ -- responds to a challenge. Because of that, I've already formally challenged her – to see which of us can be the better girl student in the next year and a half."

Nodoka raised an eyebrow. Kasumi exclaimed, "But sis, that's not very fair! You're already a _much_ better student than Ranma – and much better at being a girl, I should think."

"No doubt that's true," Nabiki said. "But don't count Ranma out. I've seen her in competition before. Once she's focused on a challenge, she keeps going until she succeeds, or dies trying."

"That's... very noble of you, I suppose," Nodoka said.

"Well, I don't want to see Ranma fail at this any more than you do. I mean, it's not that I love the boy-girl or anything... but ritual suicide?"

Kasumi wrapped her arms about Nabiki. "You do have a good heart, sis."

"Yeah, I know, damn me. Just don't let others hear about it..."

"I see. But it's more than that, Nabiki. My house is not large. There are only the two bedrooms. I have no room for you to stay here. If you were to attend St. Hebereke, it would mean quite a commute for you."

Nabiki did the calculations. It was true of course. Kodachi Kuno had a long commute to her school, and her brother had a long commute to Furinkan in the opposite direction, and the Tendo dojo was on the other side of Furinkan from the Kuno's. It would be several miles each way, which meant a train commute, which meant time and money...

"I... understand," Nabiki said. "But I'll manage somehow, if I'm allowed to attend St. Hebereke's."

"Well, I'll see what I can do. I'll let you know when I have news, good or bad."

Nabiki nodded. "Thank you, Mrs. Saotome. "That's all I can ask."

To Be Continued


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: Bless The Child**

Ranma awoke early, with grey predawn light filtering in through an unfamiliar window. She was momentarily disoriented – what was she doing in a _bed_? Why was she a girl, and in a frilly nighty? Had she slept in Akane's room?

Then it came flooding back to her: the deal with her mother, the agreement to stay a girl, for as long as a year and a half, and the subsequent challenge from Nabiki.

Ranma stared up at the ceiling, her gaze hardening. So, Nabiki didn't think she could be a good student, did she? Ranma could never act like a real girl? As if Nabiki were a perfect example of girlhood.

Perhaps it should have occurred to Ranma that the challenge between Nabiki and her was just plain stupid, but this was the same person who had accepted – and _won_ -- contests of martial arts rhythmic gymnastics, martial arts tea ceremony, and martial arts _dining_. Frame anything as a challenge, and Ranma simply couldn't ignore it.

"I'll show her who's the best girl student," Ranma muttered. "My training starts _now!_" She sat on her bed in a lotus position, closed her eyes and repeated in a low voice:

"My name is Ranma Saotome. I am a girl. I am my mother's daughter. I will live as a girl, dress as a girl, act as a girl, react as a girl. I will think like a girl. I will do everything that a normal girl would do. _Within reason_, she added silently. _No kissing boys, that's right out._ I will be a model daughter and a model female student. I will be _more_ of a girl than Nabiki Tendo.

"My name is Ranma Saotome. I am smart. I am a good student. I will study hard so that I get good grades. I will spend as much of my spare time in study as is possible. I _will_ get good grades. I will be a _better_ student than Nabiki Tendo. I will be the _best_ student in school.

"I can do this, if I put my mind to it."

She rolled off the bed and grabbed her one and only training outfit – light blue Chinese-style silk pajamas, with a pattern of yellow flowers. Then she paused.

Father wasn't here. Did Ranma really _have_ to train today? She couldn't remember a day in her life when, after waking up early in the morning, she hadn't trained for at least an hour. Maybe it was time to take a day off – just one day.

She stood in the center of her half of the room and went through a series of katas. This wasn't actual training, in her book. As she moved, as fluid and graceful as ever, she could hear someone stirring in the other half of the room, followed by a mumbled curse. That would be Akane waking up, and Nabiki complaining. The Tendos had spent the night here, with Nabiki in Akane's room, Kasumi in Nodoka's room, and Soun in the living room.

Ranma smiled. There was_ one _advantage to being a girl who was also a guy -- nobody chose to sleep in your room with you.

Finishing her normal set of katas, Ranma paused. In order to _become_ a girl – a more graceful and feminine girl than Nabiki Tendo – her gestures and movements would have to become instinctively feminine. Just like martial arts, you had to reach the point where you didn't _think_ about things, you just _did_ them. Ranma knew of one way to accomplish that – through lots of practice. The katas she practiced each morning were one form of practice that helped her to move smoothly and instinctively when in combat. What she needed, then, were katas designed to teach her how to move instintively as a girl.

Ranma thought about that one a moment. The problem was that she didn't yet know _what_ sort of moves to incorporate into such a kata – moves that would be naturally feminine. This was going to require some thought and research. She decided to make it one of her first projects.

She nodded in satisfaction and headed to the kitchen, still wearing the nighty, on the theory that anything male Ranma found embarrassing was probably be something a_ real_ girl would do.

Kasumi was cooking breakfast, while Nodoka and Soun sat at the diningroom table. Ranma paused to watch as Kasumi moved about the kitchen, paying close attention to how she stood, how she walked, what she did with her hands. Ranma was pretty sure that there were few better models of proper girlhood than Kasumi Tendo.

"Good morning daughter," Nodoka said, then frowned. "Is that any way for a young lady to dress?"

Ranma shrugged. "How would I know?"

"Trust me, it's not. I see that we will need to buy you a dressing gown," Nodoka said. "After the Tendos have left for home, you and I and Akane are headed downtown."

Ranma nodded. "Dressing gown" didn't sound like something she'd enjoy wearing – but on the plus side, she was pretty sure Nabiki never wore one.

"Good morning!" Kasumi exclaimed. She paused to give Ranma a big hug.

"What's that for?" Ranma asked.

"Oh, nothing," Kasumi said with a smile. "I just wanted to hug my cute little sister!"

"Your... sister?"

Kasumi beamed. "Well, since Akane will be staying here, she's to call Auntie Nodoka Mother. That makes her Auntie's daughter. You've agreed to be Auntie's daughter, so that makes Akane _your_ sister, and thus you are also _my_ little sister! For a little while anyway!" Kasumi laughed and added, "Isn't it fun, gaining extra sisters like that?"

"I guess so," Ranma replied. "I've never had any sisters before."

"The sad part," Kasumi said, "is that father and I won't be seeing you that much, nor will Nabiki unless she's able to transfer to St. Hebereke. I'm going to miss both of you very much. I asked Auntie Nodoka if I could cook breakfast, since I won't be able to do it again for either you or Akane for a very long time, so I wanted to make one last meal..."

"Oh!" Ranma exclaimed. "Then please allow me to help!"

"What? Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure! What girl wouldn't want to help her older sister cook?" She added, "Plus I don't think Akane's awake yet..."

Kasumi looked relieved. "Why then, I'd love for you to help me, Ranma!"

XXX

Nabiki and Akane arrived at the breakfast table together. Nabiki raised an eyebrow when Ranma followed Kasumi out of the kitchen, each carrying prepared dishes to set on the table.

"Good morning Akane!" Ranma said cheerfully. "Good morning, Nabiki!"

Nabiki glanced down at the food, then back to Ranma. "You helped make breakfast?"

"Of course!"

"Why didn't you wake me?" Akane asked grumpily. "I could have helped."

"Uh..." Ranma said. "I... just didn't think about it."

"Well, you need to be more thoughtful. _Especially_ if you're going to be my temporary sister."

"Maybe it was self-preservation," Nabiki said casually.

Akane's anger flared. "Are you saying that I can't cook?"

"Who, me?" Nabiki replied. "I said nothing of the sort."

"Nabiki..." Akane growled.

"Akane dear," Nodoka said, "perhaps while you're living here you'd like me to teach you to be a better cook?'

Akane's eyes widened, then she slowly nodded. "Yes, Mrs... yes, Mother," she said. 'I'd like that very much."

Nabiki tried the miso soup. "This is really good, Kasumi," she said.

"Thank you, sis, but Ranma made the soup this time."

"It's Kasumi's recipe," Ranma said. "I just put it together."

"Well, you're a good cook, then."

"Thanks, Nabiki. That's certainly a quality you'd find in a_ real_ girl, don't you think?"

"Oh, and I suppose I'm _not_ a 'real girl' then?" Akane growled.

Ranma sighed. "This is between me and Nabiki," she said. "I was merely pointing out the fact that Nabiki never cooks. I'm a better cook than Nabiki. That's all."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Is that why you're helping with breakfast, and prancing around in a nightgown? Come on, Ranma. Don't think you can earn brownie points or something by doing girlish things in front of me. Our challenge is strictly based on grades and the three specific challenges that I will provide for you to prove that you can act like a normal girl. Got it?"

"And who is to judge these challenges?" Nodoka asked.

Nabiki looked surprised. "How do you mean?"

"Well, with all due respect," Nodoka said, "I do not thing that _you_, Nabiki Tendo, are the best choice to decide what is feminine or girlish and what isn't. _Especially_ since you are to be one of the contestants. Therefore, to be fair, I propose that your elder sister Kasumi and I be the ones to judge these contests of yours."

Nabiki swallowed hard. _This _would complicate her plans a great deal – but how could she refuse? Then again, she couldn't see Ranma keeping up the girl act long enough to present any sort of challenge to her, so it probably didn't matter _who_ the judges were. "I... I guess that's acceptable," she finally said.

"Good! I look forward to the first challenge, then."

"Me too," Ranma said.

Kasumi clapped her hands together. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun!"

XXX

"How do I look?"

Ranma stepped out of the dressing booth and spun about. She wore a soft pink dress with a full, poofy skirt, falling in crinkled layers, with a flowered border at the hem. It was, in short, a romantic girly-girl dress.

As promised, after Soun, Kasumi, and Nabiki had left, Nodoka had taken Ranma and Akane downtown to visit several apartment stores, with the intention of purchasing an instant wardrobe for her new daughter. For some reason, said new daughter seemed intent on making that wardrobe as flowery, frilly, and girly as absolutely possible.

Akane groaned. "What do you think? It's ultra girly, like something Azusa would wear. Maybe you should name it Maryanne."

"Ugh," Ranma made a face. "I can do this... just gotta concentrate..."

"What's this about, Ranma?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean, we're here to buy clothes that you're actually going to _wear_. It's one thing to agree to dress and act like a girl, but you act like you want to be the second coming of Anne of Green Gables, or something."

"Who's that? Was she a _real_ girl?"

Akane threw up her hands. "Who knows? Who cares? Just answer the question, Ranma! Because I don't get it -- this isn't you, not even when you're a girl."

"This can be me if I want it to be!"

Nodoka appeared with more dresses in her arms. She studied Ranma critically. "Daughter," she said, "the goal here is for you to dress like a young woman – not like a little girl." She turned to Akane and added, "This probably has something to do with a challenge issued by your sister Nabiki, which Ranma rather foolishly accepted..."

"The one you were talking about at breakfast?"

"Yes, the same," Nodoka said.

"I should have known Nabiki was involved somehow," Akane growled.

"One," Ranma said, "it ain't foolish, and two, I ain't gonna lose to her..."

"Language, daughter. You _are not going_ to lose to her."

"Exactly!"

Nodoka sighed. "I fear you have a long road ahead of you, daughter. Here, take these and try them on. They should prove more appropriate attire for a young woman..."

Ranma disappeared into the dressing booth while her mother went looking for more things for her to try on. Akane crossed her arms, frowning. "Well, Ranma? What was this challenge, exactly?"

"To see who can be the best girl student in the next year and a half."

Akane stared at the door of the dressing booth for several long seconds. "Come again?"

"I said, I accepted a formal challenge to see who could be the best girl student..."

"Ranma, that is the single most _stupid_ thing that you've ever..."

"You don't think I can do it, do you?"

"No! Of _course_ I don't think you can do it. Who would? For one thing, she's _always_ been a good student, while you've _always_ been a poor student. For another thing, she's _always_ been a girl!"

"I don't lose challenges, Akane. Ever."

Akane rolled her eyes again, then sighed. "Okay, okay, I know you've never backed down from a challenge, and you're as persistent as time itself. But... well, what's the challenge, exactly? To attend school as a girl and get better grades than her, right?"

"To be a better girl student than her. She's going to come up with a few challenges to test my ability to act and react like a girl. I dunno what, yet."

"Okay, setting aside the stupidity of this challenge of yours, Ranma, _no _amount of pink lace and ribbon is going to help you win this. In fact, if you insist on getting ultra-girly clothing, you'll just bring about your own defeat that much faster."

"How do you mean?"

"I mean, are you going to want to be seen in public on a regular basis, dressed like that? Ask yourself, Ranma, what _kind _of girl do you want to be?"

"I dunno. I never wanted to be a girl before, so I never thought about it. But now I want to win this contest,. so I gotta be more girly than Nabiki..."

"Let's take this word 'girly' and replace it with the word 'feminine', shall we?"

Ranma stepped out of the booth. "Yeah? What's the difference?"

"Azusa is girly. Your mother is feminine. What you were wearing before is girly. _This_..." She paused to look Ranma up and down. The redhead was wearing a nice conservative dress of dark blue, with a white slip beneath. It was a dress that no girl would be embarrassed to wear. In fact, it was the kind of dress that you could wear to a job interview.

"_This_ is more feminine," Akane said. "This isn't so bad, actually. I can tell your mother picked this one out."

"Would Rei wear something like this?" Ranma asked.

"Rei?"

"From Sailor Moon," Ranma said. Usagi is girly, Rei is feminine. Right? So I want to dress the way Rei would dress."

Akane blinked in surprise. "Uh... yeah. That's it exactly. But Ranma, you're _nothing_ like Rei. You're more of the tough, butch type, aren't you?"

"Maybe I was before," Ranma said, "but that's all changed, now." She glanced down at herself. "Okay then. Not _girly_, but _feminine._ I'll take this one, and probably the other two that Mom brought. Can you find some more for me? Something that _Rei_ would wear, okay?"

Akane sighed. "Sure, Ranma. Whatever." She added under her breath, "Although I know you're going to regret this later..."

XXX

While Nodoka was ringing up all of their clothing purchases, Ranma wandered into the toy section. "Girls always have dolls and stuffed animals and that kind of junk in their room, don't they?"

"Well, most do I guess," Akane said. "It really depends on the girl. Nabiki was never into that sort of thing, for example."

"Then I need some, so I'll be one-up on Nabiki!"

"Sure, Ranma. You'll be more girl than Nabiki because you've got a doll. Whatever."

Ignoring the sarcasm, Ranma began pawing randomly through dolls and stuffed animals. "Can you tell me what's good?" Ranma asked. "Something a girl would pick out?"

"Ranma, there's no secret list of what a girl would like or not like. Just get whatever you want, like any normal girl would."

"But I've never been into that kinda thing! How'm _I_ supposed to know what to get? I don't wanna pick something stupid that a real girl wouldn't get."

"Just get something cute then."

"Well yeah, but how do I know what's cute? I've never been _into_ cute. I got no idea."

"Oh, very well!" Akane growled. "Never thought I'd be picking out dolls for you just so you could pretend to like them... this whole girl thing of yours is getting weirder and weirder." She paused, then picked up a teddy bear dressed in a white gi. "Oh, hey! How about this?"

Ranma blinked. "It's got a gi on." She took the bear from Akane and studied it. "It's like a little kung fu bear. Is that something a real girl would get?"

"Well of course. I mean, if she were into martial arts. You _still_ like martial arts, don't you?"

"I... uh, yeah... that is, would a _real_ girl like martial arts?"

Akane slammed her fist into Ranma's head and stomped off. "Hey!" Ranma yelled. "What'd I say _this_ time?"

XXX

As they were heading to lunch, Ranma paused in front of a magazine rack. She stood before a section full of magazines geared towards teenage girls – fashion magazines, idol star magazines, everything a giggling teeny-bopper or aspiring ko-gal could ever hope to read. Ranma picked up an issue of Seventeen and flipped through it, then picked up an issue of Cutie.

"Daughter, I do not think these are the sort of magazines that a young woman should be reading..."

"Nonsense, Mom. Girls always read this stuff."

"_I_ don't," Akane said.

"Tell me what's good," Ranma said. "Which of these are popular with girls?"

Akane frowned. "How would I know? I _said_ I don't read this stuff."

"But you're a _girl_, Akane! You must have _some_ idea!"

Akane flipped through the magazines. "Well, Sayuri reads this one I think." She held up a copy of Myojo. "Maybe Yuka too. It's full of photos of cute boy idols, are you sure you want that?"

"Uh..." Ranma said. "I... maybe just one issue..."

Akane grabbed Cawaii !. "_This_ one I've definitely seen in Nabiki's room. Also S-Cawaii, which is a little more mature... Seventeen is popular too, I think."

"Good. That's good. I'll get those. I should probably get subscriptions..."

"Daughter, I do not approve of such trashy material..."

"You're going to actually _read_ this stuff?"

"Sure," Ranma said. "It's research. I gotta learn how girls think, right?"

"Fashion magazines won't help you think like a girl." Akane said. "Unless you want to be a fashion model..."

"Whatever. I gotta start somewhere, don't I?" Ranma looked over the rack, then picked out another magazine and flipped through it.

"Uh... _Kera_ magazine?" Akane asked. "You're into gothic lolita fashion now, Ranma?"

Ranma gave Akane a blank stare. "I dunno. What's it like?"

XXX

The three had a nice lunch at a small café on the second level of the department store. When they were done, Ranma excused herself to visit the restroom.

"Akane, maybe you should go with her," Nodoka suggested.

"Ah... no thanks," she said. "I don't have to go, just yet." _Nor am I ready to share a bathroom with Ranma, _she added silently.

"Ranma seems to be adapting marvelously well, don't you think?" Nodoka asked.

"Uh... you think so?"

Nodoka nodded. "I had thought she would resist more, or insist on less feminine clothing, but she's really been just the opposite."

"She bought that issue of Kera," Akane said. "Do you really want to see Ranma dressing like some Victorian-era little girl china doll?"

"I admit, her tastes in fashion are a bit unusual..."

"It's that stupid challenge with Nabiki," Akane said. "She's focused on trying to be a girl in every way possible, so that she can beat my sister. She's not adapting at all, she's just pretending, doing whatever she thinks a girl would do."

"Well, that is nearly the same thing, isn't it?" Nodoka replied.

"I don't think it's the same thing at all!"

"Akane, dear, tell me something. How did you learn to be a martial artist?"

"I... practice, of course," Akane said. "You can't learn anything like that without a lot of practice."

"Exactly. And when you learn a new language, you begin by memorizing words and phrases that have little meaning to you at first. You imitate others, because that's the only way you can learn. What Ranma is doing is the same. Ranma _knows_ how to learn, because she's spent her whole life learning martial arts. She has to approach school work, and even being a girl, in the same way. She imitates others, because she doesn't know the language of being a girl herself. But if she keeps learning, she'll eventually come to understand."

"I... hadn't thought of it that way. Still, I have a hard time believing that Ranma is ever going to _understand_ girls, on any significant level."

Nodoka took Akane's hands in hers. "I know my daughter has a lot to learn," she said. "I expect you to help her as much as you can. But frankly, I think my daughter _already_ understands much about girls that the typical high school boy has no clue about."

XXX

By the time they were done, Ranma had a full wardrobe full of girl's clothing with a heavy emphasis on skirts and dresses, despite Akane's protests that Ranma would be much more comfortable in pants and shorts. Ranma's mother was no help at all – she agreed with Ranma that a proper girl almost always wore a skirt or a dress, although she'd frowned on some of the shorter miniskirts that Ranma had selected. Akane had been the one to pick out the less feminine clothing for her fiance, and had insisted on at least one pair of pyjamas, and otherwise had tried to keep Ranma from going overboard. She felt certain that Ranma was going to regret most of her choices later on, but for now, they were coming home with an incredible assortment of girly things, including underwear that emphasized sexy over practical, jewelry, makeup, and perfume that Akane herself wasn't likely to use or wear, and more hair ribbons and bows than Akane had owned in her entire life. Ranma had even picked out an actual doll – albeit one dressed as a martial artist. Akane had never even heard of "Dojo Barbie". The gi was, of course, pink.

As far as Akane was concerned, this whole girl challenge thing had already gone much too far. She didn't want to be around once reality set in, and Ranma realized she'd trapped herself to wearing nothing but ultra-feminine clothing for the next year and a half.

At the same time, deep in her heart, Akane was afraid that this whole scheme of Ranma's might work _too_ well. What if Ranma really _did_ make a better girl than Akane? What if Ranma could be a better student? Aside from schoolwork and expressing her emotions, Ranma was good at _everything_, including things that only a real girl should be good at – things that, in theory, Akane had an inherent advantage in. If Ranma were actually better than Akane at simply being a girl, what then?

Nodoka had offered to buy some things for Akane as well, and after seeing the lacy, silky underwear that Ranma had picked out, Akane had decided to match Ranma panty for panty and bra for bra. No fiance of hers was going to have sexier underwear than she did if she had anything to say about it. Anyway, with Happosai around there had always been plenty of room in her underwear drawer for new additions. She'd also added a few other items of clothing – mostly ultra-feminine, again on the theory that Akane should not look _more_ butch or _less_ feminine than her own fiance.

As a girl, Ranma had always been shorter than Akane and more delicate, with a narrower waist and larger breasts. With her flowing red hair properly styled, and with the dress she wore and the makeup and jewelry -- Akane faced the very real prospect of a fiancee more feminine than she was. The prospect bothered Akane a lot.

On the other hand, beneath the girl exterior, Ranma was still Ranma. She could try to look and act like a girl, but she still had the brain of a boy – and a not very sophisticated boy at that.

Akane hoped _that_ fact would help separate the real girl from the pretend.

XXX


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: Walking In The Air**

Akane awoke to predawn light filtering through an unfamiliar window. Her momentary confusion faded as she recalled where she was -- in the house of Nodoka Satome, Ranma's mother. She shared a room with Ranma, now. She stared up at the ceiling, frowning. The thought of that pervert Ranma sleeping just a few feet away left her uneasy. Never mind that Ranma was to remain a girl – in the past, her fiancé had snuck into her room more often than Happosai himself, both as a girl and as a guy. Ranma couldn't be trusted, and only a bookcase separated their two halves of the room.

Why had Akane agreed to this? What was Mrs. Saotome thinking, anyway?

She sighed and rolled out of bed. She sensed no other presence in the room – Ranma was already up and gone.

Akane dressed in a shirt and shorts and her running shoes and headed out the front door. She paused at the corner. Ranma, dressed in her blue Chinese silk pyjama outfit with the yellow flowers, was practicing katas in the back yard. Akane walked across the grass and watched Ranma for a few moments, as always mesmerized and a bit envious of her fiancé's amazing ability.

Ranma finished a kata and paused to glance at Akane. "Whatcha looking at?" she asked.

"Nothing," Akane said.

Ranma rolled her eyes, then went into another kata. After a moment, Akane said, "I haven't seen that one before."

"It's new," Ranma said. "I came up with it this morning. I'm trying to develop some new kata. Still got a lot of kinks to work out, though."

"New kata? Why?"

"To help me become more graceful."

It was Akane's turn to roll her eyes. "Ranma, you're plenty graceful, for a boy."

"But I'm not a boy," Ranma said.

"Ranma, despite what your mother says, you're a boy. Trust me. Even when you're a girl, you're a boy."

"That's just it," Ranma said. "You're right." She pointed to her head. "I'm a boy up here. But to defeat Nabiki, I need to overcome that."

Akane burst into laughter. Ranma said, "What's so funny?"

"You can't 'overcome' being who you are, Ranma," Akane said. "Nobody can do that!"

"Sure I can," Ranma said. She went back to her new kata. "I can do anything I set my mind to. People change all the time, because they want to."

Akane laughed again, because a part of her was convinced that Ranma would always _be_ Ranma – the same arrogant, macho, yet insecure guy she'd known for the last year. And yet a deeper part of her was afraid that he _could_ change – in ways that she didn't want him to. Ranma was, above all else, single-minded and focused on his goals. It was what made him what he was.

After watching Ranma for several moments, Akane added, "You don't have your father to spar with anymore."

"I know," Ranma said. "I've been thinking about that."

"And?"

"And... I figure I'll spar with you."

Akane blinked in surprise. "Really? You want to spar with me?"

"Well sure. I mean, Pops ain't gonna be around for a while, and it's not like I can count on Ryoga dropping by every morning or nothin'..."

Akane frowned. "So I'm just a poor substitute, is that it?"

"Well of course..."

"Ranma you idiot!" Akane swung a fist at Ranma's head. The red-haired girl dodged easily.

"Hey! _You_ said it, not me!"

"You're not supposed to agree with me!"

"Whatever," Ranma replied. "You're _still_ too slow. Always have been. And you let your anger control you in combat."

"I do not!"

"Sure you do," Ranma said. "Anger and macho brute strength, that's all you've got going for you."

"Ranma! _Baka!_ Take that back!"

Akane lashed out with her foot. Ranma blocked the kick easily and threw Akane to the grass.

"Just like that," Ranma said. "Attacking without thinking, letting your rage control you. That's not good technique, and you know it. You _should_ know it, if your father taught you anything."

Akane rolled to her feet. "My father's an excellent teacher, I'll have you know."

"So I hear," Ranma said. "But I've never seen it."

Akane attacked again, and again Ranma easily blocked her attack. This time the redhead landed a stinging blow to Akane's side, knocking her back into the grass.

"You hit me..." Akane said. "For real"

"That's right."

Akane got to her feet, her ribs still smarting. "I thought you didn't hit girls."

"But I'm a girl now," Ranma said. "Remember? I have to _think_ like a girl, so I can't be afraid to hit other girls."

"Yeah, but you've always gone easy on me before," Akane said. "Not like when you fought Shampoo or Ukyo."

"Shampoo and Ukyo are better than you," Ranma replied. "But I gotta practice, and I need a good opponent to practice with. I gotta help you get better fast, Akane, or sparring against you isn't going to help _me_ at all."

Akane frowned. "Sorry I'm such a pathetic sparring partner," she said.

"No," Ranma said. "I don't mean it that way. Face it, Akane, you're probably better than anyone at our new school except me. That includes Kodachi, of course – I know you could beat her in a fair fight. But I'm used to sparring against Pops, and whatever he may look like, he's no slouch when it comes to martial arts. And when I'm not fighting him, I'm going at Ryoga. That guy's like hitting a rock – and having the rock hit back.

"You see? Training against you isn't going to help me against them, because you're not in their league. So you gotta get better, that's all. But don't worry, you _will_ get better, because now you're fighting against me."

"Nice to see you're still Mr. Modesty."

"Hey, what can I say?" Ranma said. "Pops raised me to be the best martial artist of my generations, and he succeeded.

"Anyway, that's _Miss_ Modesty to you." Ranma grinned. "Now, come at me again."

XXX

After a long sparring session, Ranma and Akane headed back inside. As she closed the door behind them, Ranma asked, "What's wrong with your face?"

"What do you mean 'what's wrong with my face?'"

"I mean, what's with the goofy look?"

"You know, Ranma, if you're going to teach me about fighting, then it's time I tried to teach you a little etiquette. _Especially_ if you want to act more like a real girl. So, to start with, you _don't_ ask a girl 'what's wrong with your face?' or tell her that she has a goofy look – that's just plain rude."

"Sorry," Ranma said. "You had this goofy grin though. How should I say it?"

"Well, you could ask why I'm smiling – why I'm so happy."

"Okay. Why _are_ you happy?"

"Because," Akane said. "All I've ever wanted was for you to take me seriously as a martial artist. After all, I've trained in the same school as you have for my whole life. I know I haven't trained as intensely as you, or traveled to China or whatever. I know I'm not as good as you. But I _am_ pretty good, right?"

"Sure," Ranma said.

"But you've never taken me seriously – until this morning."

"That ain't true at all!"

"_Sure_ it is," Akane said. "When have you _ever_ fought me for real before?"

"I wasn't fighting you for real this morning," Ranma said.

"No, but you weren't pulling your punches that much. You were giving me all that I could handle. That's new."

"I told you – I gotta help you get better. Otherwise, I got nobody to spar against."

"In any case," Akane said, "I'm happy that you're not going easy on me, and that you're trying to help me get better. That's all. That's why I was smiling.

"Now I just need to stop your from putting me down and calling me names all the time..."

"And then what? You'd grin like an idiot _all_ the time?"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Just like that," she said after a moment. "You never miss a chance to make fun of me. That's _not_ something a nice, proper girl would do."

"You mean, not something _Rei_ would do?" Ranma asked.

"That's right," Akane said. "Rei would never say such things. _Manga_ Rei, at least." She paused, then added, "I didn't even realize that – you've been referencing Rei from the manga, haven't you? The anime version isn't nearly as mature."

"Uh..."

"I had no idea you'd ever read those manga. Or _any_ shoujo manga."

"I... uh... might have found one of Nabiki's volumes lying around at some point."

Akane laughed. "I see. You might have _accidentally_ read something like that."

Ranma said nothing.

The two came to the end of the hallway. Before them was the bathroom door. They looked at each other.

"You wanna go first?" Ranma asked.

"No, that's okay," Akane said. "You can go first."

Suddenly Nodoka appeared behind them. "How was your workout?" she asked.

"Uh... fine," Ranma replied.

"It went well," Akane added.

"That's wonderful!" Nodoka handed each a bath towel. "Now, why don't you two girls bathe together?" she asked.

Ranma and Akane's faces both flushed red.

"I... ah..." Ranma began.

"It's not that.." Akane began.

"I wouldn't want.." Ranma added.

"There's nothing wrong with two girls sharing a bath," Nodoka said. "It's perfectly natural. Especially if they're sisters."

"Mom, we've only _been_ sisters for a day," Ranma said.

Akane nodded. "Even with my own sisters, Nabiki and Kasumi, it's not like we took baths together that often."

"But Ranma's right. You two have only been sisters for a day. And that is, of course, _exactly_ why you should bathe together," Nodoka replied. "It's _important_, you see, to help foster the bonds of sisterly love..."

"I'm not going to soak anyway," Ranma said. "I can't touch hot water, remember?

"That's right," Akane added. "Ranma needs to avoid hot water, you know, or she'll change back to a guy."

"That's true," Nodoka said, "but you still need to wash up, even if you don't soak with Akane afterwards..."

"I might get splashed," Ranma said. "You never know, with my curse. Weird things happen like that all the time. It's best if I don't take the chance."

Ranma's mother frowned. "I suppose that _is_ possible. I do want you to avoid changing if at all possible." She stared at the two of them for a moment longer. "Very well then, you may bathe separately."

"Thank goodness for small favors," Akane muttered under her breath.

Nodoka sighed. "Well then, I have some errands to run this afternoon. Will you two girls be okay on your own for a while?"

"Sure, Mom," Ranma said. "We'll be just fine."

XXX

Ranma sat at her desk. In front of her was a pile of objects that she knew very little about – lipstick, eyeliner, nail polish, makeup kits, jewelry, and a collection of hair ribbons and ornaments. She stared at all of it as if it were a complicated math test that she'd never studied for.

"How do I do this?" Ranma asked. "What makeup should I use?"

Akane's voice came from the other side of the room, behind the bookshelf wall divider. "How should I know? Use what you like."

"But I don't _like_ makeup," Ranma said.

"Then don't wear any."

"But I want to look like... you know, like a _real_... that is, like one of the girls in these magazines..."

"Not every girl looks like that," Akane said. "In fact, most don't. Besides, don't the magazines tell you what to wear, and how to apply it?"

"Sort of," Ranma said. "But I've never done this before, and they don't explain everything."

"Your mom will probably give you some lessons, eventually," Akane said. "Why do you want to wear makeup right now, anyway? Are you going on a date?"

Ranma made a face, which Akane couldn't see from the other side of the room. "Of course not. I just thought... you know, isn't that what girls do? Wear makeup and perfume and stuff?"

"Sometimes," Akane said. "Not every single day, unless you want to be a ko-gal or something."

"Not every day?"

"Ranma, even Nabiki and Kasumi don't wear makeup every day. At least, if they do, it's not much.. And _I_ certainly don't."

"What about jewelry?

"Wear what you like," Akane said.

"But I don't _like _jewelry..."

"Then don't wear any."

"Akane!"

"Oh, for pity's sake!" Akane appeared on Ranma's side of the room. "Really, Ranma, you're the most helpless girl I've ever known." She paused to study Ranma's new collection of jewelry, then picked something up. "This is a nice necklace," she said. Hanging from a slim silver chain was a delicate silver horse. "That's cute. Did your mother get this?"

"Yeah."

"Why not wear that?"

"Okay." As Ranma fumbled with the clasp of the necklace, she asked, "Is that all?"

"You could wear a bracelet or two if you like."

"Uh... okay. What about a hair ribbon?"

"If you like," Akane said. "Your hair is long enough to tie back with a bow, like I used to do. I mean, if you're not going to braid it into a pigtail like usual."

"I think I'll avoid the pigtail for now," Ranma said. "It's not that girly. Sorry, I mean it's not that _feminine_."

Akane helped Ranma with the hair bow, then studied her new sister critically. Ranma wore one of the more elaborate dresses from their shopping trip the day before, complete with decorative white tights. "You look _nice_, Ranma. Too nice to just hang around the house. Did you have any plans for the day?"

"Yeah," Ranma said. "I was going to go downtown for a bit. Want to come?"

"Downtown?" Akane asked. "More shopping?"

"Maybe."

"Didn't you buy enough clothes yesterday? Do you even have any money?"

"Mom gave me some. I don't want to do a lot of shopping, I just want to check this one place out, and then hit the library."

"The library?"

"Yeah."

Akane nodded. "Okay, then," she said. "It's not like I got anything better to do."

XXX

Ranma and Akane stood outside of a small specialty shop. Akane read the sign. "Dark Candy Princess?" she asked. "What kind of place is this?"

"It's a... a loli goth fashion shop," Ranma said, somewhat nervously.

"_This_ is the place you wanted to visit?"

"Sure," Ranma said. "I read about it in that magazine..."

"Kera? You actually bought that?"

"Yeah," Ranma said. "I thought, you know, it'd be a good idea to get something here. Something _really_ girly. I mean _feminine_."

"For this place, the word is definitely _girly_," Akane said. "But no girl I know actually dresses like this. It's more for... well, people who are into cosplay, or that sort of thing... people who walk around Harajuku on the weekend and pose for tourist photos."

"Really? But there were a lot of different girls in the magazine..."

"Well, _some_ girls dress that way, obviously. Probably not every day though. It's kind of a fetish thing, I guess. You don't _really_ want to dress like that, do you?"

"Not really," Ranma said.

"Good, then. Let's go somewhere else."

"Nah," Ranma said, and stepped inside.

"Ranma?" Akane followed her into the store.

"I'm going to buy something from here," Ranma said. "Something with lots of lace and frills."

Akane just stared at Ranma, flabbergasted. "_Why?_"

"Because," Ranma said, "I don't _want_ to. See, all that flowery lacy stuff kind of makes my skin crawl, just _thinking_ of dressing like that. But a normal girl wouldn't have that kind of reaction, would she?"

"Don't be stupid! _I_ would!! _I'm _a normal girl, and _I've_ never felt the need to dress up like this!"

"Well, yeah," Ranma said. "But you're not _afraid_ of it in the same way that I am. Maybe you woudln't wear something this extreme, but you don't mind looking pretty or wearing something frilly. Me, I figure I gotta face my worst nightmares, all of the really girly things that terrify me, and take it all the way to the wall and out the other side. Then, maybe, I'll be comfortable with just _normal_ girl stuff. If that makes any sense."

After a long pause, Akane said, "I... hate to admit it, but that almost _does _make sense, in a twisted sort of way..."

XXX

Nodoka Saotome sat at a table in the Cat Café, calmly matching the elder Cologne gaze for steady gaze. The Saotome family sword rested in her lap. Outside the sun shone brightly. Wind chimes tinkled in the breeze. Cicadas buzzed.

Cologne sipped her tea. "Mrs. Saotome, while I respect your decision," she said, "you can not expect me to agree to something that goes against what's best for my people. I came here to Japan to bring Ranma back as Shampoo's mate and a strong member of the tribe. I did not come here just to sit on the sidelines for two years while I run a ramen restaurant."

"Naturally," Nodoka replied. "But if you ever hope to have my blessing on any possible future union between my son and your granddaughter, then you'll respect my wishes and will not cross me. I assume that, as a matriarch of an amazon tribe, you would not ignore the will of the mother in such a matter."

"Not ignore, no, of course not. But all things must be weighed equally before deciding on the proper course of action."

"My goal," Nodoka said, "is to see that Ranma receive a good education, and graduate with good grades. I will _not_ be thwarted in that. After he graduates, we can go back to sorting out these other issues." She glared at Cologne and added, "You may choose to ignore my wishes, but I trust that I have at the very least made myself clear?"

Cologne matched Nodoka's glare. "Perfectly clear, Mrs. Saotome," the amazon matriarch said.

"Excellent."

"I will agree on one condition," Cologne said. "That Son-In-Law not marry -- no marriage plans are put in motion before he graduates. All such plans and discussion of them are to be put on hold until then. If you agree to this, then I can also agree."

"Agreed," Nodoka said. "That's my goal exactly, and I have already made this agreement with Tendo-san. That is, in fact, yet another reason for Ranma to remain female for now."

Cologne placed a bar of soap upon the table. She cackled. "If Son-In-Law is to remain female, then this item might come in very handy..."

XXX

Akane studied Ranma, and sighed.

"I can't believe you actually bought that," she said. "Or that you're _wearing_ it, in public no less."

Ranma wore an oversized black baby-doll dress with puffed sleeves, large bows, and lace trim. The skirt came to mid thigh; a black petticoat helped poof it out. Black over-the-knee stockings, chunky black Mary Jane platform shoes, a black Alice hair band decorated with ruffled lace and bows completed the look. At the insistence of the shopkeeper, Ranma had also added two other accessories – a decorative oversized handbag, and a cute white teddy bear in a black lolita dress.

"How do I look?" Ranma asked. She held the handbag and teddy bear nervously, not quite sure what to do with them.

"You look like a gothic lolita girl," Akane said. "What did you expect?"

"Well, yeah, but does it look okay? Do I look weird?"

"Weird is a relative term here. But you do look cute, I'll admit that."

"Really?"

"If you like that sort of thing," Akane added. "You look like that singer... Mana, is it? From that band Sayuri likes. Only, a true loligoth probably wouldn't have red hair, I think."

"That's okay," Ranma said. "I'm not trying to fit into the culture or anything."

"So what now?" Akane asked. "Walk through Harajuka and pose for pictures?"

"Nah," Ranma said. "Next, I want to visit the library..."

"And you're really going to wear that?"

"At least for the rest of the afternoon," Ranma said. "I want to try and get used to it."

"When your mom decided you should dress like a girl, I don't think this is what she had in mind."

"Probably not," Ranma agreed. "But this is training."

"Training?"

"Exactly. _Girl_ training."

Akane rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Ranma."

The two headed for the library. They'd barely walked half a block when a girlish squeal got their attention.

"Oh! Miss Gothloli! That looks so _kawaii_!"

They turned around to find three younger girls staring at Ranma.

"You look _adorable_! So cuuute!"

"That's so awesome! I wish _I_ could dress like that!"

"I could never pull that off. Not like that! I'd be so _embarrassed."_

"What's your name, Miss Gothloli?" the first girl asked. "Can I take your picture? Pretty please?"

"Uh... sure, I guess," Ranma said. "My name is Ranma. Ranma Saotome."

Akane folded her arms and waited, growing more irritated, as Ranma posed for several pictures. No sooner had the three girls finished when a familiar voice called out.

"Ranma?"

Ranma spun about. "Ryoga?" she exclaimed. "What are _you_ doing here?"

To Be Continued


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Moondance **

Akane watched in annoyance as Ranma, dressed in a gothic lolita outfit, posed for pictures. Three younger schoolgirls oohed and aaahed over Ranma, telling how utterly _kawaii_ she looked. Then a familiar voice called out.

"Ranma?"

Ranma spun about. "Ryoga?" she exclaimed. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"It _is_ you!" Ryoga, dressed in his usual black pants and yellow shirt, stood there on the sidewalk, eyes wide. He stared at Ranma for a long moment. "What are you doing dressed like that?"

Ranma held up her hands. "Listen, Ryoga, I can explain... it's not what it looks like... well actually, it _is_ what it looks like..."

"Don't bother!" Ryoga growled. "I see right through your disguise!"

Ranma blinked in momentary confusion. "Disguise? This ain't no disguise..."

"I"m not listening!" Ryoga yelled. "Whatever sick, twisted plan you have in mind, I won't be fooled!"

"I... whaa...?"

"And right in front of Akane, too! Have you no shame? Well, _this_ time, you won't get away with it!"

Ryoga opened his umbrella and flung it. Ranma tried to dodge, but stumbled on her new platform shoes. The spinning umbrella caught her on the arm, slicing through fabric and skin.

Ranma glanced down at the torn sleeve and bleeding arm. "Ryoga, you idiot!" she growled. "_I just bought this dress_! I haven't even worn it five whole minutes..."

"Stop acting like a baby," Ryoga said.

"This cost me a lot of money!"

"Like I care!" Ryoga growled. "After all of the things you've done to me..."

"I ain't done nothing to you!" Ranma shouted back. After a moment, she added, "...lately."

"Give me a break, Ranma! You look like a little baby girl, and you're acting like one."

"That's it!" Ranma growled. "Ryoga, prepare to be hurt!"

"Girls don't scare me," Ryoga said. "What are you going to do, throw your teddy bear at me?"

The bear hit Ryoga in the face, followed by the purse. Next came Ranma's fist. Ryoga dodged, but Ranma spun in mid-jump and landed a powerful platform Mary Jane kick upside Ryoga's head. Ryoga flew back into a light pole.

Ryoga jumped back up. "Think that'll stop me, little girl?"

"Better a girl than a pig," Ranma said.

"Ranma!" Akane yelled.

"What did you say?" Ryoga charged Ranma.

"Ryoga!" Akane shouted.

"You heard me," Ranma said. The two exchanged punches. With each step, Ranma's natural balance seemed to assert itself. In less than a minute she was leaping about like usual, as if she'd fought in platform shoes her whole life.

"Hey!" Akane yelled. "Hey, you two! Stop fighting! Stop this instant!"

It was to no avail. For the next several minutes, the streets of downtown Tokyo were witness to a high-powered martial arts match between a young boy and a gothic lolita girl. The three girls who'd taken pictures of Ranma watched in awe.

"This isn't for real, is it?" one of them asked.

"It can't be," another replied. "It has to be staged. Right?"

"She's soooo _cooool_," the girl with the yellow bow said. Remembering her camera, she started taking pictures again. "This is, like, everything I've ever _dreamed_ of!"

The first two girls exchanged looks. 'Miyuki's going off the deep end, again," one said.

Ranma landed a quick flurry of brutal chestnut-speed punches, driving Ryoga to his knees. Ryoga lashed out with a leg sweep. Ranma avoided it with a backwards flip, landing nimbly on her feet.

"Ranma!" Akane yelled. "STOP FIGHTING THIS INSTANT!"

"Tell that to pig-boy," Ranma growled.

"Who you calling a pig, little girl?" Ryoga fired back.

"Akane," Ranma said, "this is a man to man fight. Butt out."

"But you're _not_ a man, Ranma. Remember? Look at yourself! You're a girl, right?"

"Well yeah, but..."

"Ranma, what would your mom say if she were here now? You made a promise to her. You _know_ this isn't what she expects of you."

"Well yeah, but..."

"Ranma, this isn't how Rei would act, and you know it."

"Well yeah, but..."

"And what if _Nabiki_ finds out about this?"

Ranma's expression froze. Her shoulders slumped. "Okay, okay. I get it. No more fighting, Ryoga. Truce?"

Ryoga's eyes narrowed. "If you think you can get out of this that easily..."

"Whatever your problem is, Ryoga, I'm sure we can deal with it some other day."

"Come on, Ranma! Are you a man, or a girl?"

Ranma glanced to Akane, then back to Ryoga.

"I'm a girl," Ranma said. She quickly added, "Which doesn't mean that I'm a cow..."

"Ranma, you coward!"

"I SAID IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT!" Ranma shouted. Her face was red. "Sheesh! Why are you such a pain in the ass?"

"Language, Ranma," Akane said. Ranma glanced at her in annoyance. "Well, it's what your mother would say."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Ranma said.

"Come on, Ranma!" Ryoga pounded his fist into his palm. "Let's finish this!"

"Ryoga, I'm not going to fight you." Ranma placed her hand behind her back and thrust her face and chest out. "If you really feel the need, then go ahead and hit me, but I'm not going to fight back."

Ryoga looked uncertain. "Fine," he said. "But I'm not holding back."

"Ryoga!" Akane exclaimed.

"Ew," one of the three younger girls exclaimed. "You're seriously going to beat up on a defenseless girl?"

"What kind of sicko are you anyway?"

Ryoga looked momentarily confused. "Now, wait a second," he protested, holding up his hands. "It's not what it looks like... I mean, he's not really... that is _she's_ not really... er, that is, I don't normally beat up girls... I mean, I don't do it at all, of course, aside from her... I mean..."

Ranma motioned to Ryoga. "Ryoga, can I talk to you a moment? In private?"

Ryoga looked wary. "Don't try any of your tricks, Ranma!"

"Sheesh, give it a rest. I just want to explain what's going on to you."

Ranma led a still-suspicious Ryoga a little ways away. "Listen, Ryoga," she said. "You understand about the sacred vow of a martial artist, right?"

Ryoga glared at Ranma. "Yes? What of it?"

"I've made a solemn vow with my mother. For the next year and a half I'm to attend St. Hebereke School for Girls -- as a girl, naturally -- and I must graduate with good grades. This is _important_, Ryoga. I hafta do this, and I don't want you messing me up."

"Ranma, whatever you have planned, it's not going to work..."

"Jeez, Ryoga, give it a break already! I _told_ you, this is a sacred vow I made with my mother! Right now, fulfilling this vow with Mom is the most important thing in my life, so I gotta put our feud on hold. Understand? No more fights between us, got it? As much as I like sparrin' with ya, I can't have you showing up in the middle of the night or attacking me at any moment of the day. Not until after I graduate high school."

Ryoga's eyes narrowed. "You're serious about this, Ranma? You're _sure_ this isn't some sort of trick?"

"Of _course_ I'm serious! Do you think I'd be standing in front of you wearing a dress like this if I _wasn't_ serious?"

Ryoga looked Ranma up and down. "You've worn dresses dozens of time before, Ranma..."

"I'm wearing a bra and panties underneath, Ryoga. In fact, right now I don't _own_ anything but bras, panties, dresses, and other girl's clothes."

Ryoga's eyes went wide. "You... you _are_ serious, then..."

"Damn straight. So you agree to lay off for the next year and a half?"

Ryoga folded his arms across his chest. "Sure, Ranma, whatever. Anyway, you know I don't like hitting _girls_."

Ranma almost lashed out at Ryoga, but stopped herself. After all, she _was_ a girl now, right? Akane and the three other girls were watching, too. She thought quickly -- how would a _real_ girl handle this situation? What would Akane do?

Suddenly, Ranma had the answer. She squealed in delight, threw her arms about Ryoga, and exclaimed, "Oh, Ryoga-kun, I'm so _happy_! I know you won't regret this!"

And then, she kissed him on the cheek.

"Aaaargh! What are you doing?" Ryoga shoved Ranma away and stumbled backwards, rubbing his cheek with his sleeve. "What the _hell_ was that?"

Ranma giggled. "Just practicing!" she exclaimed. "If I'm going to be a girl, I'll be the _best_ girl I can be. So, what did you think? Was that girly enough?"

'You freak! You _kissed_ me!"

Oh, on the cheek hardly counts now, does it?" Ranma giggled again. "Oh, Ryoga-kun, you should _see_ yourself – your face is all red, and... why, I even made your nose bleed! I _must_ have done it right, then!"

Ryoga backed away. "Stay away from me!" Ryoga yelled. "Don't touch me!" He turned and fled, leaving Ranma laughing in his wake.

Akane came up behind Ranma. "That was cruel," she said accusingly.

"I know," Ranma said. "But it was _fun_."

"Teasing a boy like that isn't nice. Rei would never do such a thing."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "She wouldn't?"

"Never."

Ranma sighed. "Okay then. I still got a lot to learn. Anyway, Ryoga's far too easy a target." She touched her mouth and made a face. "Wow. Can't believe I actually kissed him. Makes me sick to think about it. But his reaction was priceless!"

"Well," Akane said, "it's not the first time you've kissed a boy."

"That's not true," Ranma said. "Mikado kissed me. I didn't kiss him back." She glanced down at herself and sighed. 'Ryoga ruined my new dress, though."

"I can fix that," the girl with the yellow bow and the camera exclaimed. "Come here, Miss Ranma." She led Ranma to a stone bench and sat her down, then produced a needle and black thread. "Here. I'll have it sewn up in no time!"

Ranma watched as the younger girl expertly repaired the ripped sleeve. "Wow," she said. "You're really good!"

"Oh, it's nothing," the girl said. "Sewing is a hobby of mine. I'm Miyuki Gojo, and these are my two friends, Tomari and Sachiko."

"I'm Ranma, and this is my... my sister, Akane."

"You looked so _awesome_, flying around like that," Miyuki exclaimed. "Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"Ah... my father taught me," Ranma said.

"You're so good! You must be, like, the greatest martial arts girl _ever_!"

"I dunno," Ranma said. "Maybe I am."

Akane rolled her eyes. Miyuki gushed. 'It looked so cool! I could _never_ learn to do moves like that."

"It's just a matter of training," Ranma said. "I've been training since I was a kid."

"And in such a cute outfit! You're practically a magical girl, you know that?"

"Ah..." Ranma said, unsure of how to reply."

"You really ought to have a magical girl name, like Pretty Martial Artist Ranma, or Magical Warrior Princess Ranma, or something."

Ranma's eyes widened. Akane laughed. "Magical Warrior Princess Ranma!" she exclaimed. "That's perfect!"

"You're not helping, Akane," Ranma growled.

"I've always wanted to meet a real magical girl," Miyuki continued. "Now I have! I'm soooo lucky!"

"Uh... yeah," Ranma said. "Are you done yet?"

"Almost!"

While she worked a familiar pig wandered out of the alley, looking lost and confused. Akane exclaimed in delight, "P-Chan! Oh, look, Ranma! It's P-Chan!"

Ranma rolled her eyes.. "Oh, great. We can't get rid of that pig, can we?"

"Don't be stupid, Ranma," Akane said. "I haven't seen P-Chan in days."

"Thank the gods for small favors," Ranma muttered under her breath.

Akane picked up the black pig and cuddled him. "Goodness," she said. "You're all wet, just like usual. And on a bright sunny day, too! You must really like water for some reason, P-Chan."

The pig grunted forlornly.

XXX

Akane wandered the library for a bit, her pet pig in her arms. She really didn't have anything in particular she wanted to look for, and couldn't imagine what Ranma was doing here. She'd never known Ranma to set foot in a library before. In fact, she had to ask for help in how to find the books she wanted.

Figuring Ranma would find her as soon as she was done -- which shouldn't take long, Akane sat down in a corner and began to read. Before she knew it, more than an hour had passed. She got up and headed back to the front, where she found Ranma. It seemed just a bit surreal: Ranma, her former fiancé, dressed in that goofy loli goth outfit, seated at a library desk with a huge stack of books in front of her.

Akane sat down opposite Ranma and regarded the pile of books.

"How's it going?" she asked.

"Good," Ranma said.

"And the outfit? Are you growing used to it?"

"Uh... not really," Ranma replied, shifting in her seat. "It feels weird. This thing -- what was it called? The poofy skirt that goes under the dress..."

"The petticoat."

"Yeah, that. It's kinda itchy and stuff. It feels weird.. If I'm not tripping from these stupid shoes, then I'm getting the dress or my sleeves caught on something. But mostly, it just _feels_ wrong. I feel like everyone's staring at me."

"They are," Akane said.

'I'll probably be relieved to wear _normal_ girl clothes again. If so, then this'll have been worth it."

"What are those for?" Akane indicated the pile of books.

"Research," Ranma said. "For the new kata I'm developing."

Akane raised an eyebrow. "Is that really going to work?"

"Sure," Ranma said. "I got it all figured out. I just need to work all of the proper moves into a few seamless kata, and then practice them over and over."

Akane picked a book from Ranma's stack and looked it over. "Proper Posture," she read. "Well, I suppose that could help. She checked another book. "Etiquette?" She picked up a third book. "A Guide To Ballet?"

"Yeah," Ranma said. "Did you know that Bruce Lee himself studied ballet? He studied anything at all that might help him in the art."

"Is that true? Well, okay, I suppose you might adapt some of the high leg kicks and glean something from the general grace and balance you learn in ballet. Not, mind you, that someone like _you_ needs more balancing practice."

"You always need more," Ranma said. "Speaking of which, You need to start practicing that, too. Martial Arts is something you practice 24 hours a day, you know. Not just when you're dressed in your gi."

Akane nodded. She knew that this was how Ranma approached training – everything was training. But that was just because of Ranma's crazy father, wasn't it?

"Funny thing is, Pops used to repeat that story to me, about Bruce Lee practicing ballet, telling me that the secret of Anything Goes martial arts was just that -- to incorporate everything around you into the art. But when I wanted to get a book on ballet he yelled and hit me and said it was for sissies."

"No surprise there," Akane said. She looked at another book. "Method Acting: A Practical Guide?"

"What I'm doing is method acting," Ranma said. "Acting like a girl."

"It's more than an act, Ranma. You're going to _be_ a girl, 24 hours a day, for... well, five weeks at the minimum, right? Or potentially for a full year and a half. You_ do_ realize that, don't you?"

"Sure, but that's what method acting is. The actor _becomes_ the character. Completely."

Akane sighed. She picked out another book from the stack. "How To Draw Manga: Girl's Life Illustration File Book?"

"It's about how to draw girl characters."

"I _know_ what it is," Akane said. "You're becoming a manga artist now?"

"No," Ranma said, "but this has a lot of detailed information about what girls are like. It'll help."

"If you want to be a cartoon schoolgirl, maybe," Akane muttered. She looked down at the little pig nestled in her arms. "_We_ think Ranma's gone off the deep end, don't we, P-Chan?"

The black pig nodded its head fervently.

"Whatever," Ranma said. She paged through another book for a moment, then added it to the stack.

"A cooking book?" Akane asked.

Ranma nodded. "Girls know how to cook," she said. "Knowing how to cook will put me one up on Nabiki."

"Oh, Nabiki _knows_ how to cook," Akane said. "She just refuses to do it."

"Same difference."

"And can't your mother teach you? In fact, she offered to teach us both, right?"

"Of course," Ranma said. "This is just, you know, extra study."

"Are you done?" Akane asked. 'I'm getting bored. And I can't believe that of the two of us, I'm the first one to say that in a place like this."

"Just another fifteen minutes," Ranma said. "I still got a couple of things left to find."

Akane nodded and wandered off. When she returned a bit later, it was to add a few more books to Ranma's stack.

"What are these?" Ranma asked.

"Some manga," Akane said. "This one's Magical Girl Pretty Sammy. I thought you might pick up a few moves from her. You know, in your new career as a magical girl. For example, her Pretty Love Bomber move. That could be quite useful, you know."

"Very funny," Ranma said.

"I got Sailor Moon as well. You might try her Moon Tiara Action, that's a good attack. Although personally I reccomend Chibi Moon's Pink Sugar Heart attack."

"I thought I was emulating Rei."

"Well then, you could go with Sailor Mars's Fire Soul attack. That's an anime only attack, I think but it's practically your chi attack with a different name, isn't it?"

"Not quite," Ranma said. She folded her arms. "Anything else?"

"And this one's Paradise Kiss. It has some gothic lolita fashion in it. Just in case, you know, you wanted tips on how to improve your magical girl outfit."

"Riiiiight." Ranma rolled her eyes.

"Plus I got some other books that should help. See, this is called "The Complete Guide to Magical Girls". This one is a book on gothic lolita subculture. I got an issue of Gothic & Lolita Bible to go with it. And _this_ one is an art book about that singer I mentioned that Sayuri likes – Mana, from Malice Mizer."

"Hilarious. You should be a comedienne," Ramna said. She picked up the top book and flipped through it. "Mana, hun? Well, at least she's cute."

"Mana's a guy," Akane said.

Ranma dropped the book as if it were poisonous. She took a step back. "Gack!"

"No, Mana. Gackt is the singer."

"_That's_ a_ guy_? What is he, some kind of sicko crossdresser?"

Akane just laughed.

XXX

Ukyo flipped her sizzling okonomiyaki expertly and covered them with sauce. In front of her sat the last person she'd ever expected to walk into her store – Ranma's mother, Nodoka Saotome. It was a nice day outside, with a light breeze rustling the noren curtain hung over the front door.

"Ranma's attending a new school?" Ukyo asked. "St. Hebereke's?"

Nodoka nodded.

"As a girl?"

"It _is_, after all, an all girl's school," Nodoka replied. "That is partly the point. I find that girls make excellent students, when the presence of boys has been removed."

"Mrs. Saotome, Ranma _is_ a boy."

"Indeed. And Ranma is _also_ a girl, thanks to that curse. More to the point, Ranma has agreed to dress and live as a girl for the next year and a half, until she graduates. That is _why_ I have come here today. It is vitally important that Ranma receive a good education, and in order to accomplish this, I must eliminate distraction from her life. Much of that distraction stems from the problem of the multiple fiancés, which is where _you_ come in. Miss Kuonji, I must ask that you cease pursuing this matter with Ranma and set it aside, until such time as Ranma has completed high school. That is my deal with my daughter, that is my deal with Akane and her father, and that is the deal I have struck today with the amazon matriarch. I now wish to secure the same agreement from you."

Ukyo's gaze hardened. She coolly scooped the okonomiyaki onto plates and set one before Nodoka. She took a bite of the other herself. "Ranma is mine," she said. "I won't relinquish my claim. Your husband made an agreement with my father..."

"I realize this," Nodoka said. "But there are more than one or even two legitimate claims here, and only one of them can expect to be fulfilled. Akane Tendo has the first claim."

"You can not ignore my claim! My honor..."

Nodoka held up her hands. "Miss Kuonji, please hear me out. If you expect me to take your claim seriously and not take the claims of the Tendos or the amazons seriously, then you do not understand me, nor do you understand anything about family honor." Ukyo gulped, then nodded her head. Nodoka continued. "What is most important to me is that Ranma graduate with good grades and a decent education. As I've promised Tendo-san and his daughter Akane, and also to the amazon woman Cologne, Ranma will _not_ be married before graduation. My word is final on that. Any attempts to circumvent me in this matter will result in my rejection of that suitor's claim. Am I clear on that point?"

Ukyo blinked.

"You mean... if Cologne and Shampoo were to do something in the next year and a half – say, kidnap Ranma and try to marry him to Shampoo... that will invalidate their claim?"

"Exactly."

"Or if... just for another example... Mr. Tendo, say... perhaps with the help of your own husband... attempts to do something similar and force a marriage between Ranma and Akane – that would invalidate _their_ claim?"

"Indeed."

You could almost see the gears spinning inside Ukyo's head. After a long moment, she said, "Can I get that in writing?"

"A formal, binding contract is what I had in mind," Mrs. Saotome replied.

XXX

"You're incorrigible," Akane said.

They were seated in an ice cream parlor with fancy ice cream dishes in front of them – the kind that came with multiple layers, whipped cream, cherries, sprinkles, and other froufrou toppings. They hadn't paid for either of them. Ranma's was about twice the size of Akane's. She was devouring it quickly, while Akane ate slower and shared hers with P-Chan.

"If that means I'm good at gettin' free food, then guilty as charged," Ranma replied.

"It means you're shameless."

Ranma shrugged. "If I gotta be a girl, I'm gonna milk it for all it's worth."

"It just annoys me, that's all, seeing you put on that cute act, all girly and bubble-headed and brainless."

"You're just jealous that I'm cuter than you."

"Please."

"Hey, whatever works."

"You'll stoop to any level to get what you want, _especially_ if it's food."

"Well, that's not true," Ranma said. "For example, Pops has done plenty of things for food that I'd never do."

Akane raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Like marry your only son off to multiple fiancees?"

Ranma rolled her eyes. "For starters," she said. "Still, if Pops taught me one thing, it's that you should always eat what you can when you can. You never know when your next meal will come."

"Good advice when you're wandering in the backwoods of China, I suppose," Akane said. "But I hardly think you need worry about your next meal while living in Tokyo with your mother."

"I like ice cream. You got a problem with that?"

"No, but just so you know, all that ice cream's going straight to your hips."

"Well I guess you'd be an expert on that subject."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Akane held up a fist.

Ranma raised a finger. "Remember your training. Don't let your anger control you."

"How about _you_ remember _your_ training?" Akane growled.

"_My_ training?"

"About politeness? Etiquette? Being a nice girl?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

"In other words, I'll stop pounding you when you stop insulting me. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. I _said_ I'm sorry."

"Next time, before you say something stupid, just ask yourself, 'What would Rei do?' Okay?"

"Bwee!" P-Chan squealed in agreement.

XXX

It was late afternoon when Ranma and Akane made their way home. As they approached the house, they found two girls waiting for them on the front porch.

"Oh!" Akane exclaimed. "Sayuri and Yuka!"

"Good afternoon, Akane!" Sayuri said. "Sorry for dropping by without any notice, but we wanted to surprise you! We brought you a cake." She held up a white box.

"Oh, thank you so much!" Akane said. "Have you two been waiting long?"

"Not very long," Sayuri said.

"Sayuri made the cake herself," Yuka said. "All I did was watch. It looks really good. I can't wait to taste it!"

"It's sort of a going-away gift," Sayuri added. "We're so sad to see you leave! But at least you're not so far away that we can't visit, and it must be exciting to move to a new place and attend such a prestigious school. This really is a big opportunity for you, Akane."

Yuka nodded. "We know you'll do well at St. Hebereke, Akane. You _must_ keep us posted. And so, this isn't just a going away cake, it's also to help you celebrate your new home and new school. It's a big step forward, after all!"

Tears came to Akane's eyes. "You two! You really didn't have to do this, you know," she said.

"Yes we did," Yuka replied. "What are best friends for?"

Akane hugged them both tightly. "Thank you! You two are the best friends I could possibly have!"

Akane stepped back and fumbled for her keys. "Just let me get the door open," she said. "I'll make some tea..."

"I can do that," Ranma said. "You should talk with your friends, Akane."

The other two seemed to notice Ranma for the first time. "Oh! Ranma!" Yuka said. "That would be very nice of you."

"Is it true?" Sayuri asked. "You're living as a girl now? 100 of the time?"

Ranma nodded. "I'll be attending St. Hebereke's too, you know."

"Ah, of course," Sayuri said. "It _is_ a girl's school..."

The two paused to look Ranma up and down. "My, Ranma," Yuka said. "That's a... a very interesting dress."

Sayuri was more enthusiastic. "Wow. You're a loli goth! You look really _cute_ in that!"

"Thank you," Ranma replied. Her face brightened, and on impulse she twirled around to give them the full view. "I kinda thought that if I could dress up like this, it would make wearing normal girls clothes seem... well, normal."

"I must be losing it," Yuka said, "because that _almost_ makes sense."

"Where did you get that?" Sayuri asked.

"Some goth shop... a place called Dark Candy Princess."

"Oh! I've been there before!"

"You have?" Akane and Yuka said simultaneously.

"Well... yeah," Sayuri replied. "I mean, I didn't buy anything. Well... not much... not anything that I've ever actually _worn_... at least, not in public. But come on. You both know I like that kind of thing."

"I knew you were a fan of Malice Mizer," Akane said. "But I've never seen you wear _anything_ like that, Sayuri."

"Not in public!" Sayuri repeated. "I mean, if people _saw_ me, dressed up like that, I'd just _die_. But you, Ranma -- nothing fazes you does it? Dressing up like that, in public! I'm just too shy to do that."

XXX

Ranma prepared tea while the three girls sat and chatted in the main room. Once she'd delivered the tea and accepted a piece of cake, she retired to her room and flopped down on the bed. Idly she thumbed through one of the library books while she ate.

A while later, Akane and her two friends came into the room. They glanced around Ranma's side briefly, then disappeared to Akane's side.

Ranma could hear their voices clearly. "It's not as big as my old room," Akane said.

"But it's very cozy," Sayuri replied. "It looks nice, Akane!"

Ranma tuned them out and continued to read. She was tired of wearing the lolita dress. It felt uncomfortable. She really _was_ looking forward to slipping into some of her more normal girl's clothing.

She glanced up at the curtain that separated her side of the room from Akane's. She sighed, and cursed herself for not changing while the others were out in the main room.

The doorbell rang.

Akane leaned into Ranma's room. "Can you get that, Ranma?"

Ranma glanced down at herself. "I'm still wearing this goth loli outfit."

"So? You were wearing that out in public just an hour ago."

"Well yeah, but..."

The doorbell rang again.

"If you're uncomfortable with it, why haven't you changed?"

"Well... you and your friends are right there, in the room... just on the other side of the bookcase, you know..."

"And? So? We're _girls_, Ranma. _You're_ a girl, now. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I... just didn't want to disturb you."

The doorbell rang a third time.

"Besides, it's not like we're going to accidentally walk in on you and see anything we haven't seen a hundred thousand times before."

"Ranma," Yuka asked, "don't you start school at St. Hebereke tomorrow?"

"That's right," Ranma nodded.

"Then you're going to be changing clothes in the girl's locker, right? With the other girls. I mean, it's a girl's school, so it's not as if they even _have_ a boy's locker..."

Ranma and Akane's eyes locked for a moment.

"I hadn't thought of that," the two said in unison.

The doorbell rang yet again.

"Ranma, just answer the door already," Akane said. "We'll talk about this other stuff later."

"Yeah, okay," Ranma said. She disappeared down the hallway.

"Akane, isn't it a little creepy," Yuka asked. "Sharing a room with Ranma, having him just on the other side of this bookshelf... especially with him dressed up like that?"

"It _is_ a bit weird," Akane admitted. "I'm having a hard time getting used to it."

"What if he really does get used to being a girl?"

There was a slightly haunted look in Akane's eyes. She said, "Honestly, I can't see that happening. This is _Ranma _we're talking about."

XXX

Ranma was nervous about answering the door dressed as she was. On the one hand, it probably wasn't anyone she knew. It was most likely a friend of her mother's, or a salesman, or something. On the other hand, she'd already run into Ryoga today. Ranma had enough faith in her amazingly bad luck to know that _anyone_ might be waiting on the doorstep.

The person at the door was a young girl. She had thick brown hair tied with a yellow bow, and carried a camera.

"Miss Ranma Saotome?" the girl asked. "Oh! It _is_ you!"

"Ah... Miyuki, right?" Ranma replied. "What are you doing here?"

The girl held out two objects. One was an oversized black leather purse. The other was a white teddy bear dressed in a black gothic lolita dress.

"You dropped these," Miyuki said.

"Oh!" Ranma blinked, staring at the two objects. "My bear and purse. I completely forgot about them!"

"Would it be okay if I came in?" Miyuki asked.

"Sure," Ranma said, stepping back. Miyuki paused at the entrance to remove her shoes. "Um... just have a seat," Ranma said. "I'll bring some tea and cake."

"Oh, you don't need to," Miyuki said.

"It's no trouble at all!" Ranma exclaimed. "I mean – it's what any girl would do. Right?"

A minute later Ranma set the tea and cake down and took a seat opposite Miyuki. "It's good cake," she said. "A friend of Akane's made it."

The girl nodded. She handed the purse and bear to Ranma. "I cleaned them up for you," she said. "The bear was all muddy, but see? Now she's as good as new!"

"Ah... thank you," Ranma said, once again not exactly sure what to do with the objects. "But... how did you know where I lived?"

"I guessed," the girl said. "Your name is Ranma Saotome. It's not the most common name, you know, but it's the same last name as Vice Pricnipal Nodoka Saotome. I just looked up where she lived and came over here."

"Oh," Ranma said. "Yes, that's my mother."

"I thought so! Is she home right now?"

"Not at the moment," Ranma said.

Miyuki didn't immediately reply. She looked around the room, then back at Ranma. "I brought you something else as well," she said. "In fact, I put them in the purse."

Ranma blinke in surprise. She opened the purse. Inside was a manila envelope. Inside that, she found a half-dozen photos of herself, taken just that afternoon – both the posed shots, and several very good shots of her battling with Ryoga.

"Wow," Ranma said. "Those are nice. You're a good photographer."

"Thanks," Miyuki replied. "It's another of my hobbies. I rushed right home to print them up. And to clean up your things, of course." She paused to eat some cake, and then added, "Um... I don't mean to pry, but... there was absolutely nothing in the purse. I thought that was a little odd."

"Oh... uh, I just bought it," Ranma said. "I haven't had time to put anything in it."

"Ah, that makes sense." The girl nodded. "Of course. You haven't had time to transfer the stuff from your old purse."

"Uh... yeah. From my old purse. Right."

"So... this is where Vice Principal Saotome lives? This is a nice house."

"Thanks," Ranma said. "Did you... um... want to see my room?"

"If it's okay with you, then I'd love to," she said.

XXX

Back in the bedroom, Akane and her two friends were eavesdropping.

"Akane, who's that girl?" Sayuri asked.

"Another of Ranma's fiancés?" Yuka asked.

"No," Akane said. "I think her name is Miyuki."

"Is she... a friend?" Yuka asked. "A girl who is Ranma's friend, and not just a fiancé? Is that even possible?"

"I wouldn't call her a friend, per se," Akane said. "We just met her today. She liked Ranma's outfit, and she saw Ranma fight."

Sayuri frowned. "Ranma was in a fight?"

"Yeah, with Ryoga."

"Oh, him," Yuka said dismissively. "Well, what else is new?"

The black pig in Akane's lap squealed indignantly. "Hush, P-Chan," she said.

"Wait a second," Yuka said. "Ranma fought Ryoga... in _that_ outfit?"

"That's right," Akane said. She giggled. "Actually, that girl Miyuki thought that Ranma was a real-life magical girl. She called her 'Magical Warrior Princess Ranma'."

The three girls broke out in laughter. "Oh, my," Yuka said. "If only she _knew_."

XXX

Moments later Ranma and Sayuri entered the room. "So this is your bedroom?" Miyuki asked.

"Yeah," Ranma said. "Mine and Akane's. The bookshelf is the dividing line."

"Wow." Miyuki looked about, then went to the desk.

"Oh! What a cute little karate bear!" She sat the bear in the goth loli dress next to the one in the white gi. "There. They're like a couple, aren't they?"

"I suppose," Ranma said.

"What are their names?"

"Their names?"

"Haven't you named them yet?"

"Well... not really. I bought one of them yesterday, and the other this afternoon..."

"But they _must_ have names, you know," Miyuki said. "Can I help you pick them out?"

Ranma shrugged. "Sure."

"Okay then." Miyuki stared at the karate bear for a long moment. "You're a martial artist, right?" she said. "Who's your favorite martial artist?"

"You mean, like, famous? I dunno. Bruce Lee, maybe. Or Jet Li."

"Bruce is a good name for a bear," Miyuki said. "I suggest you name him Bruce."

"Okay."

"Now, as for the second one... she needs a nice Gothic name... something Victorian maybe..."

"I don't know any Victorian names," Ranma said.

Miyuki tapped her chin. "I don't know very many either," she admitted. "Maybe just any English name would do." She thought a moment then said, "How about Anne? That's a nice English name for a girl."

"Okay."

Miyuki walked over to the wardrobe. "May I?" she asked. She looked through the dresses hanging inside. "Wow. Most of these are new, aren't they?"

"Yeah... uh, I just moved here... just moved back with my mother that is... and... I had to leave most of my old stuff behind. We bought a whole new wardrobe just yesterday."

"Really? That's so awesome! I _love_ buying new clothes!" She spun about, then sat down on the bed. "It's almost as much fun as designing them yourself. Hey! I have an idea!" she exclaimed. "You aren't busy at the moment, are you?"

"Uh... not really," Ranma said.

"Then here's what we'll do. You can model _all_ of your new clothes, and I'll critique them and take pictures of each outfit. Won't that be fun?"

"Uh... no. No thanks," Ranma said.

"Oh, come on!" Miyuki pleaded. "I want to see what they look like on you!"

Behind Ranma, someone cleared her throat. Ranma spun about to see Akane, Yuka, and Sayuri watching her.

"I think it's a _marvelous_ idea, Ranma," Sayuri said. "We want to see your new clothes too!"

"No, that's okay..."

"Any _normal_ girl wouldn't have any problem with it," Akane said.

"Well yeah, but..."

"You can consider it payment for the cake that you ate," Yuka added.

Ranma's face fell. "But... but I can't..."

"Can't what?" Yuka asked. "Change in front of us? Ranma, we're_ all_ girls here, yes?"

"Here," Sayuri said, stepping forward. "Turn around. I'll help you."

Before Ranma knew what was happening, her new goth dress was sliding to the floor. Ranma's face flushed red. "Um... this isn't... I mean, I don't..."

"Hush," Sayuri said. "You don't have to do anything, Ranma. "We'll do the work for you. Miyuki, was it? Why don't you pick something out for Ranma to wear?"

"Okay!" Miyuki searched through the wardrobe again. Suddenly she squealed. Her hand flew to her mouth. "No! Miss Ranma! Can it be? _This _is a St. Hebereke uniform!" She spun about, eyes wide. "But you _can't_ be a student there! I've never seen you before today!"

"It's a brand new uniform," Akane said. "I've got one too. We're new students at St. Hebereke. Our first day is tomorrow."

"Oh, wow! My own school! I'm a St. Hebereke student too! First year!"

"Really?" Akane glanced at Ranma. "We're both second year students."

Miyuki slammed her hand into her palm. "That's it, then!" She exclaimed. "It's fated to be!" She stared off into space, laughing slightly maniacally. "It's all coming together, just like I've always dreamed it would!"

"What is?" Ranma asked.

Miyuki glanced up. She laughed nervously. "What, did I say something?" she asked. "It's nothing! Nothing!"

Turning away from the others, she added in a nearly imperceptible whisper, "But don't you worry, Miss Ranma. I'm going to take care of everything from now on. Sachiko forbade me to help her, but you._..you're _going to be my Sakura, and now that I've found you, I'm going to become your own personal Tomoyo-chan!"

"What was that?" Ranma asked.

"Nothing, nothing!" Miyuki laughed again. She laid the school uniform onto the bed. "Now, Miss Ranma, you _did_ promise us a fashion show. If you'd be so kind... I would _love_ to see you in your new school uniform! Please?"

To Be Continued

(next time: The first day at St. Hebereke – finally!)


	9. Chapter 9

**Girl's School**

**Chapter Nine: She Is My Sin**

Two girls walked up the street wearing St. Hebereke school uniforms. From a distance they looked perfectly normal, but that was largely due to the fact that, from a distance, you couldn't hear their conversation.

"How do I look? Am I walking okay?"

"What kind of a question is that?"

"I mean, am I walking like a girl? I don't wanna make any mistakes."

"You're walking like you walk. How's a girl supposed to walk anyway? You're a girl, and you walk like you walk when you're a girl."

"Does my hair look okay? How about my voice? Does it sound girly enough?"

"Ranma, what's with all of these questions? You've been a girl tons of times before and never worried about any of this stuff."

"Yeah, but this time it's _important_. I don't wanna screw up."

Akane sighed. She glanced at her sister-in-training. "If anything looks odd, Ranma, it might be the fact that you have your _books_ balanced on your head. Why is that, exactly?"

"Training," Ranma said. "Posture practice."

The two came to a large gate that gave entrance to a school yard. In large letters on the wall outside were the words "St. Hebereke's School For Girls."

"Here we are," Ranma said. "Early, even."

"At least your mom let us walk here on our own," Akane said. "It's going to be bad enough being the daughters of the Vice Principal, without people knowing first thing."

Girls filed past them as they stood before the gates. "Well? You ready for this?" Akane asked.

Ranma grinned. "I was just thinking," she said, "about my first day at Furinkhan High. Remember? All those guys attacking your every morning?"

"How could I forget? That was only a few months ago."

"It sure seems longer than that," Ranma said. "Remember how we were going to hide the fact that we were engaged?"

Akane snorted. "_That_ sure didn't last long."

"Let's keep things simpler this time, okay?"

"Miss Ranma! Saotome Sempai!"

Ranma turned. Several girls were gathered a few feet away. The closest one was a younger girl with a wild mane of brown hair held in check by a yellow bow.

"Good morning, Miyuki," Ranma said.

"Hai, good morning," Akane added.

"Sempai!" Miyuki exclaimed again. She held out her hands and bowed her head. "Please accept this humble gift from me."

Ranma stared at the item being offered to her. "A bento lunch?" she asked.

"I made it myself," Miyuki said. "Just for you."

Ranma glanced upwards. Sitting atop the stack of books balancing on her head was a bento made by her own mother. Ranma hadn't eaten a bento from her mother since... well, she couldn't _ever_ remember having eaten one.

Then again, two bentos were better than one. Ranma took the offered lunch. "Thank you very much, Miyuki," she said.

"Thank _you_, Sempai!" Miyuki replied. She turned around, then added, "Oh! These are my two friends, Tomari Honda and Sachiko.Nakayama."

"Tomari and Sachiko," Ranma said. "I remember from yesterday. Good morning to you both."

The two other girls returned the greeting, bowing. "And this," Miyuki finished, "is Kohana Honda. She's Tomari's elder sister – the same grade as you two."

The girl in question had long black hair like her sister Tomari. She was dressed in the same uniform as the other girls, but on her it looked very different. There was an almost perceptible darkness around her. Somehow, when you looked at her, the word _goth_ came to mind – and not the cute sort of lolita-style goth that Ranma had dressed as the day before.

"Ranma Saotome? You are under a curse," Kohana said. Her voice was a near monotone. She stared at Ranma for a moment, then added, "More than one, in fact."

Ranma blinked. "Excuse me?"

"But you have a _very_ powerful spirit," the dark-haired girl continued. "Perhaps the strongest I have ever seen. Interesting. You are a martial artist?"

"Yeah," Ranma said

She turned to Akane. "And you as well, I see." Akane nodded. Kohana said, "I would love to learn more about you two at a later point. But for now... the morning's theatrics are about to begin."

"Theatrics?" Ranma echoed. But even as she spoke, the sea of girls streaming into the school suddenly parted. A solitary schoolgirl stood before the front steps, facing as many as twenty young men dressed in identical black suits and dark glasses.

"Geez, where did _they_ come from?" Ranma muttered.

"Let me pass!" the girl called out.

"We shall not, Miss Satori," one of the men declared. "For it has been said: the one that shall defeat you shall be allowed to _date_ you."

The girl produced a wooden bokken and held it before her. "Never! If I must defeat every one of you, then so be it!"

She charged forward. The men surrounded her. Then her wooden blade flashed, almost too fast for the eye to see.

"Strike! Strike! Strike!" the girl yelled out. The bodies of dark-suited men flew in every direction. The battle was over in seconds, with the bokken-wielding girl the only one left standing.

The girl laughed mockingly. "Better luck tomorrow, boys!" she called out, and bounced up the steps and into the school.

"That looked awfully familiar," Ranma muttered under her breath.

"It did? How interesting." The voice of Kohana came from right behind Ranma. Ranma jumped. _Nobody_ snuck up on her like that. Well, _practically_ nobody. Happosai could do it. Doctor Tofu. A few others. But not weird goth girls with monotone voices. Who _was_ this girl anyway?

""Her name is Shizuko Satori," Kohana said. "She does this every morning."

"Why is that?" Akane asked.

"It was some story she heard, about a girl who fought and defeated half the boys of her school every morning. Shizuko decided that if some peasant girl could do that, then so could she."

"Hey! I'm no peasant girl!"

Kohona raised an eyebrow. "Sorry? I did not say that you were."

"But this is a girl's school," Ranma said. "Where do all of these men come from?"

"They are part of father's payroll," Kohana said. "Hired guards. She has them attack her every morning simply so that she can show off. She considers it practice."

"Friend of Kodachi's?" Akane asked.

Kohana stared at Akane a long moment. "Kodachi Kuno," she said, "has no friends. She has her teammates on the rhythmic gymnastics team, who fear her and obey her. But they are not friends. As for Miss Satori... I believe she is considered more of a rival by Miss Kuno."

"Huh," Ranma said. "Imagine having to _hire_ people to attack you."

XXX

Their teacher brought the class to attention, then motioned for Ranma and Akane to enter. "Girls," he proclaimed, "we have two new students today. Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo have transferred her from Furinkhan High School. Please give them a warm welcome."

Ranma and Akane were glad to see they'd wound up in the same home room. They took their assigned seats near the back of the class and things quickly settled into a familiar routine. Their teacher was refreshingly normal. However, it wasn't long before Ranma felt herself starting to doze off, despite her best intentions to be an attentive student.

Akane noticed this almost immediately. "Ranma!" she hissed, then gave her fiance a disapproving glare. Ranma sighed and sat up straight, trying her best to pay attention.

In between classes several of the other girls gathered around Ranma and Akane to ask questions.

"Saotome," one girl said. "The name's familiar but I can't place it. What is your family into?"

"Uh, martial arts?" Ranma offered.

"What? Do you mean your family owns a series of dojos?"

"Oh, no. Nothing like that."

"Then what's the family business? What does your father do?"

"Pops doesn't do much of anything, to be honest," Ranma said.

"You can say that again," Akane added.

"Well sure," another girl said, "But how does he make his money? For example, my father owns several large department stores."

"Mine owns Ishi Heavy Industries," another girl added.

"My dad's a powerful stockbroker," a third said.

"_My_ father doesn't do much of anything, either," another girl said. "He doesn't _have_ to. Our family has always been rich, you know."

"Oh, well, Pop doesn't have any money," Ranma said. "He's just a martial artist."

The first girl stared at Ranma. "Really? And he doesn't even own a single dojo? So... do you mean, he's just an itinerant martial artist?"

Ranma nodded, then frowned. "What's itinerant mean?"

"Homeless," one girl said.

"It means he wanders from place to place," another girl chimed in.

Ranma slammed her fist into her palm. "That's him exactly!"

Several girls looked shocked or dumfounded at this statement. "But... but _how_ did you get into this school then?" One asked.

I could have sworn I'd heard the name Saotome before..." another muttered.

"Oh!" a third girl exclaimed. "I know! Vice Principal Saotome!"

"Oh," the first girl said. "Is that your mother?" Ranma nodded, and the girl added, "Well that explains it then."

Apparently having lost all interest in Ranma, the girls now turned to Akane. "How about you?" one asked.

"Oh," Akane said. "My father's not itinerant."

"Oh?"

"He owns his own dojo."

There was a moment of silence as the girls digested this. "That's it?" one of them finally said. "He owns one single dojo?"

"Sorry," Akane said, "but that's all. Is it that important?"

One of the girls raised an eyebrow. "Don't you _get_ it? In this school, money and status mean _everything_."

XXX

Across town in a different school, a different conversation was taking place.

"Nabiki Tendo, do no play games with me, the rising star of the kendo world. Now tell me: can what you say possibly be true?"

Nabiki smiled sweetly. "Kuno-baby, would I lie to you?"

"You have done so on many occasions," Kuno replied.

"Have I? Kuno, you wound me!"

"I only wound people with my sword," Kuno said. "They bleed, and then they heal. But the wounds you inflict with nothing more than words go much deeper and do not so easily heal."

"Kuno, save your poetry for someone who appreciates it," Nabiki said. "Although who that might be, I have no idea."

"Enough!" Kuno drew his bokken and held it before him dramatically. "Verily I say: Enough! Enough, Nabiki, with your cat and mouse banter! For you speak in roundabout phrases like a hawk circling on the breeze, and never come to the point! What I want to hear from you is this: is it true that both the fair Akane and the pig-tailed goddess have left this lowly abode of knowledge, and have chosen to instead attend one St. Hebereke's School for Girls?"

"_I'm_ the one who speaks in circles, and never comes to the point?"

"Answer me! Yea or nay!"

"There's no need to get all dramatic samurai on me, Kuno. I'm just saying."

"O, thou tortuous vixen! Give me thine answer, be it yea or nay, lest I cut thee down where you sit! For if it be nay, then I shall..."

"Yes, it's true," Nabiki said. "I've already told you once. I don't for the life of me see how saying it twice makes it any more believable, but trust me. Both Akane and Ran... er, your pigtailed goddess, as you put it, are now attending St. Hebereke's."

Kuno stood stock still for a long moment, as the meaning of Nabiki's words slowly soaked into his brain. He gasped, as if hit by some divine revelation.

"Now go away," Nabiki said. "I've had enough samurai speech for one..."

"My path is clear!" Kuno cried out, interrupting her. "It is to St. Hebereke's School that I must go!"

Nabiki gazed at Kuno as if his head might at any moment fall off and roll around on the ground, and as if this event, unlike everything else going on around her, might actually prove of interest.

"Kuno, you _do_ realize that St. Hebereke's School for Girls is for _girls only_?"

Kuno sheathed his bokken in it's imaginary sheath. "But of course," he replied. "It is, after all, the school which my sister attends. Countless are the nights that I have been forced to listen to her long heartfelt complaints about the lack of young males at said temple of learning. But if that is where the beauteous Akane and fiery pig-tailed girl have fled, then it is there that I belong!"

"Kuno," the teacher called out, "please stop shouting and sit down."

Nabiki watched as Kuno returned to his seat across the room. "Well, _this_ should be interesting," Nabiki said.

"Is it true?" the boy seated next to her asked. "Ranma's attending St. Hebereke's?"

Nabiki nodded. "It's true."

"As a girl?"

"Of course. You _have_ to be a girl to attend there," Nabiki said.

"Wow!" the boy said. "And Akane too? Imagine... both Akane-chan and Ranma-chan, in St. Hebereke's uniforms..." He stared off into space, a dreamy look on his face.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Would you like some photos of that, then? I could have them in a day or two, tops."

The boy's eyes lit up. "You could? I'd buy some, for sure!"

"Me too!" another boy exclaimed. "I want some!" a third boy shouted. Before she knew it, Nabiki was surrounded by the male population of her class, all begging for photos.

Kuno loomed over them all. "Name your price, Nabiki Tendo," he said. "I will buy them _all_."

"Hey, you can't do that!" one boy growled. The others chimed in.

Nabiki said, "Are you certain, Kuno-baby? This _could_ grow a tad expensive..."

XXX

During the day the Saotome household was quiet and empty, save for the soft tap tap of a little pig's nails as he wandered from room to room. P-Chan was, as usual, lost, and feeling quite alone and forlorn and left behind. He grunted sorrowfully. Where _was_ the bath in this confusing house?

The sound of a window being opened brought P-Chan up short. An intruder? In Akane's hew house? As Akane's pet – that is, as her _friend_ – and maybe, someday, more than just a friend – it was Ryoga's duty to guard the house and drive off any intruders. He crouched low to the ground, prepared to strike.

Mind you, this course of action might have proven much easier if he wasn't still a pig.

He heard footsteps coming up the hallway from... one of the other rooms, whichever ones were in that direction. A large, shadowy figure loomed up before him. P-Chan leapt, teeth bared.

A powerful fist met him in mid-air, smashing into his snout. The pig flew across the room, bouncing off the wall.

He immediately rolled to his feet, ready to launch himself again. Before him stood a very large man in a dirty white gi... a man with glasses and a bald head covered with a cloth.

Ryoga relaxed. It wasn't an intruder. It was only Ranma's good-for-nothing father.

Genma Saotome stared at the pig on the floor, adjusting his glasses. "Oh, it's just you," he said. "Akane's pet pig. You startled me for a second there. I thought the place was empty."

Genma placed his back against a wall as if he were a ninja who could blend in with his surroundings, and not, in fact, a quite large and easily-spotted man.

"You won't tell anyone that I've been here, will you?" Genma said to the pig. "You mustn't tell." He paused for a moment, then burst out into laughter. "As if you _could_."

Genma crept back up the hallway and into Nodoka's room. The pig followed. It was better than wandering in circles on his own.

"I'll let you in on a little secret," Genma said. He began rifling through drawers as if looking for something. "My wife, you see, is trying to ruin sixteen years of careful planning. More than sixteen years, to be honest. This goes back to the day that I realized I could never manage to do everything it took to become the greatest martial artist of my generation. On that day, I formed my plan to mold my _son_ into that martial artist. This was, of course, before I even _had_ a son. Before I'd met Nodoka, in fact."

He paused, glancing down at the pig, and added, "To be honest, I hadn't really planned on getting married at all, until that day. Oh, my father wanted me to marry, make no mistake on that -- and Nodoka was his choice for me. But my plan was to remain a carefree martial artist like the master, and never tie myself down. But on that day when I formulated my plan, I realized that I needed a wife. After all, I couldn't very well have a son all by myself, could I?"

Genma guffawed loudly at his own joke, his belly shaking. He stopped quickly and glanced around furtively, as if afraid that all this noise might draw attention.

"Anyway," Genma said, "this plan of hers to turn Ranma into a sissy girl will destroy everything I've worked so hard to accomplish. I have to stop her, before it's too late. I have no choice! You see that, don't you?"

He paused, staring at P-Chan. "But you don't understand a thing I'm saying. You're just a little pig."

Genma stood and surveyed the room, his face set in a frown. "Now... if I only had a _plan_..."

XXX

It was a beautiful day. When lunchtime came, the students of St. Hebereke's filed out onto the grassy lawn. As usual the spot by the stone wall in the corner was occupied by three students who were typically shunned by most of the student body. They formed their own clique – three girls whose shared fate was their appreciating of other girls.

"Check out the new girl," Rin Tokudaiji said, sitting down next to Kaida Genji. Rin was the biker of the trio. Not that she necessarily looked it – she was above average in height with a willowy body, long braided hair and large round glasses. But it was well known how much she liked motorcycles, both riding them and working on them. Her father was a flamboyant music executive who owned race cars and bikes, and Rin often worked as one of his junior mechanics.

"Oh, I have been," Kaida said. "I've been studying her all morning, if you want to know the truth. She's in my class, after all" Kaida was the sophisticated one – tall and beautiful, with the tanned skin and blonde hair typical of a kogal. Kaida's family was considered the second-richest in the whole school, although a few of the other girls could claim higher social standing.

"You like?" Rin asked.

"Oh, yes. She's very cute."

"Kinda butch, isn't she?"

"Oh, she's butch. Short, thin, delicate, with a very healthy chest -- yet very butch."

"I think I'm in love."

"Me too, Rin, me too."

The third member of the trio, Akela Leilani, sighed in mock disgust. "You two are pathetic," she said. "Why don't you pick your tongues off the grass already? For all you know she's another rich bitch like Suma, or a nutcase like Kohana or Kodachi."

Akela was doubly shunned at the school, being both openly lesbian, and being only half Japanese. Her father was a rich and successful Hawaiian businessman. Despite being the shortest of the trio, Akela was the strongest and most athletic. She was a star rugby player, a surfer and excellent swimmer, and by the current standards of the school she was considered a very good martial artist.

"Naturally, I've considered the possibilities, Akela," Kaida said. "She's Vice Principal Saotome's daughter. That means she doesn't have money, or likely the attitude that often comes with it."

"Present company excluded," Rin said.

"Well, of _course._ That goes without saying. Also, the Vice Principal has never struck me as particularly crazy, nor does our new girl look so. My impression is that she is... Some sort of jock, or fighter. See how she moves? Casual and confident, like a tigress."

Rin nodded. "You're right. Think she's a gymnast?"

"Maybe. I wonder if Dachi will recruit her for the rhythmic gymnastics team?"

"Ugh," Rin said. "I hope not."

"She's a martial artist," Akela suddenly announced. "That's what you're seeing in her walk. She _is_ a fighter – and a decent one, I think."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Akela said. "Trust me."

"Her name's Ranma, by the way," Kaida added.

"Is it? Ranma Saotome?" Rin snapped her fingers. "No, wait. I remember her!" she said excitedly. "She _is_ a fighter – _and_ a gymnast. Remember? She's the one who defeated Kodachi Kuno at the tournament two months ago!"

"No way!"

Akela nodded. "Oh, it _is_ her! I remember!"

"She was really, really good!" Kaida said.

"Oh," Rin said, "now I _know_ I'm in love!"

XXX

"I thought you'd be eating with _her_," Tomari said.

Tomari Honda ate lunch in the grass with her two friends, Miyuki Gojo and Sachiko Nakayama. That is to say, Tomari and Sachiko were eating, while Miyuki worked furiously on her laptop. She was doing research on the new girl, Ranma Saotome.

"Maybe tomorrow," Miyuki replied. "I don't want to scare her off by coming on too strong. Besides, I still have research to do. I want this to go right. I need to be prepared."

"You're convinced that this time you've found her," Tomari said. Her voice was a bit like that of her elder sister... flat and nearly devoid of emotion, although with Tomari it held less general doom and world-weariness and more dry humor and skeptical amusement at the world in general, and at her friend in particular. "The perfect magical girl you've always dreamed of?"

"Oh, she's the one, all right," Miyuki said. She paused to stare off into space. "It's the moment I've waited my whole life for – a real magical girl, at start of her career, just waiting for a best friend to help guide her..."

"Why her?" Tomari asked. "Sachiko is an excellent fighter -- the best swordswoman in the school, despite what Shizuku Satori might think. And my sister actually _claims_ to be a magical girl... or at least, a witch, which is the same thing if you know your magical girl history. _And we know that you do._ So why settle on this new girl?"

"I don't know," Miyuki replied. "There's just something about her. I could tell from the moment we met. It wasn't just that she's an amazing fighter... or that she was dressed in such a cute goth outfit. It was something about the way she moved, the way she acted. It was like the whole world was a stage, and everyone was looking at her."

"With all due respect," Tomari said, "four-fifths of the student body at this school are working under that same illusion."

"Granted," Miyuki said. "But this wasn't just an attitude. It's hard to explain. It just feels like she really_ is_ the focal point of everything that's going on around her."

"And that makes her a magical girl?"

"It makes her _worthy_ of being a magical girl," Miyuki said. "As for the rest -- well, I can provide that."

"I'll bet."

"Anyway, I just _know_ that if I stick close to her, life won't be boring."

Tomari raised an eyebrow. "So this is really all about keeping you entertained?"

"Well of course!" Miyuki said with a grin. "When all's said and done, the world actually revolves around _me, _you know. Why else would you two befriend me?"

"I can't think of a reason," Tomari said. "Not for your sparkling personality, that's certain."

Miyuki stuck her tongue out at her friend.

"And so, on to phase two? Wherein our heroine becomes the magical girl's best friend, confidante, personal tailor and fashion advisor, and all-around photographer and biographer of said magical girl's amazing escapades?"

"That's the plan."

"Not to mention, orchestrator of said amazing escapades."

"Well, _someone's_ got to do it."

"You're obsessed," Tomari said. "You know that, don't you?."

Miyuki shrugged. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Most would say it is." Tomari finished her lunch and put the bento box away. "So, what have you got so far?"

"Not very much," Miyuki said, staring at her laptop. "Most of it's confusing. There are scattered records for a _boy_ named Ranma Saotome. Most notably, there's records of his birth – the date is right – but there's no record of the Vice Principal ever having a daughter. But more than that -- there's hardly any records on _him_, until a few months ago when he began attending Furinkhan High School."

"What's he got to do with _our_ Ranma?"

"As of yet, I have no idea," Miyuki said. "Other than they're clearly related. Maybe they're twins."

"With the same first name?"

"Well _I_ don't know. I'm still working it out. As for _our_ Ranma, there's virtually_ nothing_ on her. It's strange. If she's the Vice Principal's daughter, where's she been all this time?"

"She attended Furinkhan too," Sachiko said. Sachiko was the quiet one of the trio, rarely speaking unless she actually had something to say. And as she'd noted on several occasions, Miyuki generally did enough talking for all three of them.

Miyuki looked up in surprise. "She did? There's no record of that. How do you know?"

"She fought Kodachi in a rhythmic gymnastics martial arts tournament here on campus a month or two ago. You don't remember?"

"No! I never go to those things, you know that! Oh, wow! You mean you have knowledge about her and you didn't _tell_ me?"

"I thought you knew," Sachiko said. "She represented Furinkhan High. Akane was her coach."

Miyuki frowned. "She's very close to Akane, it seems. They may be childhood friends. That's going to be an obstacle, I think."

"To you becoming Ranma's_ best_ friend?" Tomari asked.

"Well, yes, of course," Miyuki said. "That _is_ the plan."

Tomari glanced to Sachiko. "Does any of this make you wonder if Miyuki strategically planned _our_ friendship with her?"

"I try not to think about it," Sachiko replied.

"Every heroine needs a couple of sidekicks," Miyuki said. "Although, if I had to do it again, I might pick two who were less sarcastic..."

"My sister's still available," Tomari said.

"No, thanks." Miyuki closed her laptop. "Well, I think that's all I'm going to get online. The next step is to investigate the scene of the crime."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, I need to do some research the old fashioned way – on foot, questioning people, seeing what I can turn up. And I need to start at Furinkhan High."

Tomari raised an eyebrow. "Private Investigator Miyuki? Sounds like an after school trip," she said.

"Exactly. Are you two with me?"

"I've got kendo practice at six," Sachiko said.

"I have library books to file," Tomari said, "but I can put that off until six, as well."

"Okay then! We'll meet up after school. The game is afoot!"

XXX

Akane and Ranma sat by themselves on the grass eating their lunch. Originally they'd sat down next to some of the other girls from their class, but those girls had immediately moved elsewhere.

"It seems we're too poor to be popular," Akane said darkly.

Ranma shrugged. "That's okay. I don't need a lot of friends." Seeing the sad look in Akane's eyes, she added, "Don't worry, Akane. It's just our first day, I'm sure we'll make some friends eventually."

"At least you have _one_ friend."

"Who's that?" Ranma asked. Then she paused, glancing down at the two bentos in front of her. "Oh, you mean Miyuki. Hmm, I wonder where she is?"

A shadow fell over them. They both looked up. Kohana Honda stood there, somehow managing to look quite gloomy on a bright, sunny day.

"Greetings to you both on this dreary day," Kohana said, her voice devoid of emotion. "May I sit with you?"

"Sure," Ranma said.

"Although you really shouldn't," Akane added. "Haven't you heard? We're not popular."

A slight smile graced Kohana's normally expressionless face. "Oh? Well, that should not be any problem. I am also shunned by many at this school."

"You're poor too?"

"Oh, no. My family is quite wealthy. It is just that other girls find me... a little odd, I guess you could say."

She opened her bento box. Inside were vegetables and cookies in the shape of bats, and a bed of rice covered with what looked like a black spider's web. Ranma realized after a moment that the "web" was just a very elaborately cut piece of seaweed.

"I don't know where they'd get an impression like _that_," Ranma said..

"No," Kohana replied. "Unless they were observant. So, Ranma. Tell me about your curse."

Ranma shifted uncomfortably. "That's.. ah... not something I was planning to tell people about. At all. But especially not halfway through my first day."

"It is best if you tell me now," Kohana said. "I _will_ find out, eventually."

"You will? How?"

"I have my ways." Kohana stared at Ranma a moment, then added, "You haven't wondered how I knew you had a curse in the first place?"

"Well... that _did_ seem a little mysterious."

"Oh, I am much more than just mysterious," Kohana said. "I am a witch."

"A witch?" Akane repeated.

"Yes."

"And you just go around telling people that?"

"Of course," Kohana said.

"Then it's no wonder..." Akane's voice trailed off.

"...That people find me weird?"

Akane nodded.

"Well, not _every_ girl here thinks that of me," Kohana said. 'Only most."

"Ah. That makes sense, I guess..."

"The rest of them _know_ that it's true" Koahana said with a faint smile. She held out her hand. "May I read your palm?"

Akane hesitated but a moment. "Okay," she said, placing her hand in Kohana's. The strange girl stared at Akane's hand for several moments.

"You mourn the loss of a loved one," Kohana said. "That loss has haunted your family ever since. You have had a troubled life, and more trouble lies in your future, but you have a strong spirit and can face these problems. Your trouble increased significantly in recent months, with the arrival of a... friend? Enemy? Lover? You have conflicted emotions about this individual, but your fates are bound up together in many ways." She paused, then added, "Your... feelings for this person have, in some cases, caused you to question your own sexuality..."

Akane snatched her hand away. Kohana looked up. Akane's face was flushed red. "I am sorry," Kohana said, "if I said something that was disturbing."

"You shouldn't make stuff up like that," Akane said hotly.

"I only speak the truth as I see it," Kohana replied.

Ranma looked from one girl to the other, obviously confused. "What did all of that stuff mean?" she asked.

"Nothing!" Akane said quickly. "It's just... you know... vague guesses and made-up stuff... to impress girls..."

"As you like," Kohana said.

"It's something girls do?" Ranma asked. "Maybe you should read mine as well."

"Another time, perhaps," Kohana said. "But back to my original question. Can you tell me about your curse? If it is secrecy that you are concerned about, I can assure you that your secret will remain safe with me. However, there may be something I can do to help..."

She was interrupted by the arrival of another girl, who landed next to them in one giant leap, screaming, "Harlot! Hussy! Harridan!"

"Kodachi!" Akane exclaimed.

Kohana glanced up. "Why, Miss Kuno, what a pleasant surprise," she said, although her flat, world-weary tone of voice said it was nothing of the sort.

Ranma sighed. "Hello, Kodachi."

Ignoring Akane and Kohana, Kodachi pointed to Ranma. "Explain yourself, you wicked, wicked girl! What are you doing here?"

To Be Continued


	10. Chapter 10

Author's note: Because I haven't updated since late January or early February, I'm posting this chapter having just finished writing it. Large parts of it have been written for many months, just as large chunks of future chapters are already written, but it wasn't all stitched together until I finally forced myself to sit down and work on it this past week. Thus, it hasn't been edited, not even really a full self-edit. But at least I managed to get a chapter finished and posted.

I do have quite a bit more written and hope I can piece together the next few chapters in the next couple of months. No promises. I know I've introduced a lot of new characters in the last two chapters, but as things roll along I'll get the chance to develop them all a bit more, and I think things will sort themselves out. And no, of course I haven't abandoned the rest of the Ranma cast – eventually Ukyo, Shampoo, and a few of the others will reappear.

Note: Edited slightly to clarify the promise to not fight at school...

**Chapter Ten: Angels Fall First**

It was their first day at St. Hebereke's School for Girls, and Ranma and Akane were eating lunch with Kohana Honda, a strange goth girl who claimed to be a witch. They were interrupted by the arrival of Kodachi Kuno.

"Harlot! Hussy! Harridan!" Kodachi exclaimed, landing next to them.

"Kodachi!" said Akane.

"Why, Miss Kuno, what a pleasant surprise," Kohana said, in a voice that suggested it was otherwise.

Ranma sighed. "Hello, Kodachi."

Ignoring Akane and Kohana, Kodachi pointed to Ranma. "Explain yourself, you wicked, wicked girl! What are you doing here?"

Ranma looked around, then back at Kodachi. "I'm eating lunch."

Anger burned in Kodachi's eyes. "Do not mock me, foolish peasant girl!"

"I wasn't trying to mock..." Ranma began.

"I demand to know what you are doing eating lunch at _my_ school! And in a St. Hebereke uniform no less!"

Ranma shrugged. "It's _our_ school, too, Kodachi. As of today."

"You lie! As if a school as exclusive as St. Hebereke's would _ever_ accept peasant girls such as you two!"

"Stop calling us 'peasant girls'," Akane snapped. "Anyway, Ranma's right – we're attending school here now."

"I will not be fooled by your clever deceptions!"

Ranma blinked. "Uh... what clever deceptions?"

"Ranma's not capable of being clever," Akane said.

Ranma cast an annoyed glance at her former fiancé. "Gee, thanks a lot Akane," she said.

Kodachi's face turned momentarily rapturous, and she clasped her hands together. "Oh! My beloved Ranma! How cruel is the fate that keeps us two lovebirds apart!" Then she once again turned a wrathful gaze upon Ranma. "I had almost forgotten that you shared the same name as that of my beloved."

"I ain't your beloved!"

"Not you, you hateful little girl! I speak of my noble love, the dashing Ranma Saotome. _My_ Ranma is a handsome young man, as noble in bearing as a great samurai or a holy knight, and as full of love for me as the ocean is full of water..."

"Full of loathing, maybe," Ranma said. "Although really, it's more indifference..."

"Whereas you, wicked girl, are nothing more than a petulant, and wretched child. To hear my love's noble name applied to the likes of you is enough to make me ill!"

"Trust me, the feeling's mutual."

"Silence! I will not hear you slander the name of my beloved!"

"I _told_ you, I _ain't _your beloved!"

Kodachi glared at Ranma for a long moment. "Very well. I will accept, for the moment, that you and this other peasant girl are attending St. Hebereke's..."

"Stop calling us that!" Akane growled.

"...But I will see to that you are not here for long. Do not grow comfortable in this place. As the leader of the _undefeated_ rhythmic gymnastics team, my word at this school holds great influence. Once I have had a word with the administration, you two will be looking for another school."

"Yeah. Good luck with that," Ranma said.

"Undefeated?" Akane said. "Ranma beat you fair and square!"

Kodachi's eyes flared with anger once again. "She cheated! It doesn't count!"

"Whatever," Ranma said. "I don't wanna get into it..."

"You see?" Kodachi crowed. "She admits it!"

"...I just want to eat my lunch in peace," Ranma finished.

"Very well. But first, I demand that you answer one question for me," Kodachi said. "Where is my beloved?"

"Who?"

"My beloved Ranma-kun, of course! Where is he?"

Ranma smirked. "You won't be seeing him for quite a while," she said.

"Why? What have you done with him?"

"Ancestors, give it a rest already! I haven't done _anything_ with him. Kodachi, get it through your thick head: I _am_ Ranma!"

"Foolish little girl! To think I'd fall for such an obvious ploy!"

"I am _not_ having this conversation," Ranma growled.

"I know that you secretly lust after him, you wicked girl!"

"_What?_"

"Why else would you borrow his name?"

"You've really got a screw loose, you know that?"

"Very well then! I, Kodachi Kuno, The Black Rose, challenge you here and now to a rematch! Only this time we'll fight fair, on _my_ terms. Is that clear?"

"Oh, like that's fair?" Ranma got to her feet, cracking her knuckles. "Well, whatever. Anytime, anywhere, Kodachi..."

"No fighting," Akane said. "You promised, Ranma. Remember?"

Ranma blinked. She looked down at Akane, then back up at Kodachi. She hadn't _specifically_ promised not to fight, but there had certainly been an _implied_ promise to not fight while at school. She sighed, then sat back down again.

"Sorry," Ranma said. "What I meant was, 'anytime, anywhere, except on school grounds during school or any time in the next couple of months'. Got it?"

"Oh ho ho! Do you fear me, little girl?"

"Nah, I just made a promise to my mother. I'm not fighting you, or anyone else, for a while."

"Ignore the Black Rose, will you? We'll see about that!" Kodachi's ribbon flew forward and wrapped itself about the first of Ranma's two bento lunches. Seconds later, the lunch was flying across the school yard.

"Hey! That's my lunch! My mother made that!"

"Oh ho ho ho! "Kodachi bounced across the school yard, ribbon spinning. Her voice drifted on the wind. "A wicked girl like you deserves to go hungry!"

Ranma leapt to her feet. Akane tried to grab her fiancé's arm. "Ranma! Remember, no fighting!"

"She stole my lunch!" Ranma's eyes blazed with fury. "That's the _first_ bento lunch my mom has made for me in... in forever!"

"But... Ranma!"

"Tell that to Kodachi!" Ranma sprung into the air, chasing after the deranged rhythmic gymnastics queen.

Akane ground her teeth together. "That _idiot_!"

Kohana raised an eyebrow. "Who, exactly, is this 'Ranma-kun' that Kodachi was talking about? Is there a second Ranma?"

"No," Akane said. She plopped back onto the grass. "There's only one of him – her. Thank goodness."

Kohana stared at Akane for a long, uncomfortable moment.

"Kodachi thinks she's two different people?" Kohana asked.

Akane sweated nervously. "Well, you know, 'Dachi never had the most stable mind in the world."

Kohana nodded. "That much is true. Her mind is as stable as a skyscraper made of jello..."

XXX

Kodachi danced across the school grounds as if it was her personal dance floor and she was the star attraction. She laughed maniacally, ribbons twirling like helicopter blades. Ranma bounced after her, screaming about her bento lunch. It would have been a typical scene at Furinkan high, but this wasn't Furinkan, and Ranma was a St. Hebereke's school girl uniform.

All the girls of St. Hebereke looked on with interest. It wasn't the first time Kodachi had been challenged by a new girl, but they soon learned their mistake.

"Not too bright, is she?" one girl asked.

"She's poor and uneducated," another girl said. "Not her fault really, but she doesn't belong here."

"With any luck, she'll be gone by the end of the day," a third girl said.

"Yeah," the first girl said. "Kodachi will have her sorted out in no time."

"Only," the second girl said, "she jumps _really_ well... and she looks kind of familiar..."

Kodachi met Ranma high over the school. She laughed as she dodged several punches, then lashed out with her ribbon. It wrapped about the redhead's left foot, and with a quick fick of her wrist, Kodachi tossed the girl at a school building.

"You are far too slow to catch me, you stupid peasan... oof!"

Rather than crash into brick building, the redhead had landed feet-first against the third-floor wall and immediately launched a counter-attack. In mid-gloat, Kodachi took a direct shot to the stomach. Kodachi's eyes closed, and she plunged to the ground below. This time, Ranma didn't catch her.

Kodachi plowed into the lawn, creating a small crater. Ranma landed lightly next to it. She knew better than to assume that one lucky punch would KO _any_ person she considered a worthy opponent, and Kodachi, while not really in her league, was in fact on her short list.

The Kuno girl didn't disappoint her. After a moment she climbed from the crater and dusted herself off.

"Quite impressive, for an uneducated commoner," she said with a sneer.

Ranma grinned. She didn't want this to be _easy_.

"I'm plenty educated, 'nuff to take you down, 'Dachi," Ranma said.

Kodachi sniffed. "Your diction alone proves that you're not in my class. You're nothing more than riffraff."

Kodachi produced a rainbow-colored rubber ball. With a twist of her hand the ball was sent spinning, up one arm, behind her neck, and down the other arm, where her other hand spun quickly and slammed into the ball, sending it directly at Ranma.

Ranma dodged the ball, and the half-dozen clubs that followed it. A silver rope snaked through the air towards her head. She caught it easily. Then, realizing that it actually _was_ a snake, and a very angry one at that, she dropped it.

Kodachi laughed. "Oh ho ho! Afraid of a little rope?"

"That wasn't no rope!" Ranma growled. She launched a series of kicks and punches at Kodachi, who danced away, ribbon spinning behind her.

Ranma paused to crack her knuckles. "You know, 'Dachi," she said, "now that I'm a girl full time, I don't have to hold back against other girls. I get to go all-out."

"Feh. As if I'd have it any other way." Kodachi stared poison daggers at Ranma. "Try your worst, little girl, you're no match for the Black Rose..."

Ranma flew at Kodachi. "How about a little Tenshin?" she growled. Instantly Ranma's fists were a blur as she struck Kodachi repeatedly, launching over 100 separate blows in under three seconds. Stunned, Kodachi was unable to block even a quarter of the blows. Most found their mark, and her body was pummeled.

She staggered back, still on her feet, then dropped to her knees. "Had enough?" Ranma asked.

A hand grabbed Ranma's arm. She turned to look into Akane's eyes. "Stop it, Ranma," she pleaded. "Can't you see she's had enough?"

Anger and defiance flared in Kodachi's eyes. "This isn't over yet," she growled, climbing to her feet. She staggered unsteadily. "The Black Rose is not so easily beaten..."

"Ranma Saotome! Akane Tendo! _What_ is going on here?"

All three girls turned to find a very angry Vice Principal glaring at them.

"Mrs. Saotome!" Akane said.

"Sensei!" Kodachi said.

"Mom," Ranma said. "I can explain..."

XXX

Three girls sat in Vice Principal Saotome's office. Akane glared at Ranma, who glared at Kodachi, who glared back at the both of them. The room was silent save for the ticking of the clock on the wall and the occasional rustle as one of the girls shifted uncomfortably.

Seated behind her desk, Mrs. Saotome folder her hands and glared at the three girls. "Fighting, on school property?" she asked, voice level. "At _St. Hebereke's School for Girls_ no less. Ranma, Akane, I had thought we had an understanding about this."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Saotome," Akane said. "I tried to stop them..."

"Sensei, these two girls ganged up on me," Kodachi said. "They are dangerously violent and should be immediately expelled!"

"Hey! I wasn't even involved!" Akane yelled.

"Kodachi started it," Ranma said. "We were just trying to eat our lunch in peace"

"Ha! Lies! You can't believe what this stupid peasant girl says!"

The Vice Principal glared at Kodachi. "Miss Kuno, this 'stupid peasant girl' happens to be my daughter."

Kodachi smirked. "Well that explains how she got into school then doesn't it? I _knew_ she couldn't afford it. It also explains why you're going easy on her..."

"I am _not_ going easy on anyone!" Nodoka snapped. "If anything, I place more blame on Akane and Ranma because they know that their purpose for transfering here was to _avoid _such violent behavior."

"You can dress a ragamuffin up as a princess, but she remains a ragamuffin," Kodachi said. "These two do not _belong_ at a school like this. They lack the social skills, the status, the upbringing..."

"I will warn you one last time, Miss Kuno, this is not a referendum on who does or does not belong in this school. We are here solely to deal with the fight you three engaged in during lunch."

"I wasn't even _involved_," Akane whined.

"That's enough. We will talk about this again after school. At that time I want all three of you here in my office to serve one hour's detention."

Kodachi jumped up. "Detention? What is this? Kodachi Kuno doesn't serve detention!"

"You do if I _say_ you do," the Vice Principal stated.

"We shall see about _that_," Kodachi replied, and swept from the room.

Mrs. Saotome sighed. She glanced at her two daughters, and added, "Now, since I apparently neglected to spell it out previously, I want you both to _swear an oath_ that neither of you will engage in any fighting while attending school..."

Half a minute later Ranma and Akane were out in the hallway. The door closed behind them.

"Your Mom is really mad," Akane said.

"Yeah," Ranma replied. After a moment, she added, "She's _your_ Mom too, right now."

"But you _did_ promise not to fight," Akane said accusingly.

"I know," Ranma said. "It's just..." Her voice trailed off, and she let the matter drop. There really wasn't any excuse she could give that would be good enough.

"Well, we'd better hurry," Akane said, "or we'll be late. What's our next class?"

Ranma glanced at her class list, and sighed. Looking over her shoulder, Akane frowned. "Oh," she said. "_That_."

XXX

Ranma stared at the sign on the wall. It said, simply, "locker room". Of course, this being a girls school, it was by default the _girls_ locker room.

"I can't believe I'm about to do this," she muttered.

"Are you sure your mother won't let you get out of P.E.?" Akane asked.

Ranma glanced at the girl beside her and flinched. In her experience, walking into the girl's locker room meant a swift and violent punch to the face. She was half expecting Akane to punch her this time as well, if only out of reflex.

"I'm sure," Ranma said. "I asked. You know what she's like."

"This is perverse."

Ranma nodded. "For once I agree with you."

"Oh, come on. You've always wanted to sneak into the girl's locker room."

"No I haven't."

"You tried on several occasions."

"Only because I had to."

"All boys want to sneak into the girl's locker room."

"I'm not like most boys," Ranma said. "Most boys don't know what it's like to be a girl."

Akane sighed. She wasn't convinced, but arguing was pointless.

"You've got the magic soap?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"With that, no accidental transformations, right?"

"Yeah."

"Don't lose it."

Ranma said, "I ain't planning to."

The two girls entered. Voices that had echoed off the tiled walls fell silent. They picked out two lockers. All nearby girls gathered their things and moved to another part of the room. Akane sighed. She and Ranma were still being pointedly ignored.

"Just face away from me while I change," Akane muttered.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Ranma replied. She turned away and began to unbutton her blouse. She paused to undo the skirt, and let it fall to the floor, followed by the slip. She slid out of her shoes and pushed the socks down to her ankles, pulling them off of her feet. She paid very careful attention to each piece of clothing as she removed it, thinking to herself, _this is my skirt, this is my blouse, this is my bra..._ In part it was a way for her to reinforce her image of herself as a girl, but mostly it was a way for her to avoid looking at any of the half-naked girls around her.

P.E. passed without incident. Well, this wasn't entirely true. Ranma and Akane were again shunned when teams were picked, and wound up on the team with the uncool, unpopular girls. Their team, of course, soundly thrashed the other, proving that, on the field at least, skill trumps popularity.

Afterwards Ranma undressed so slowly that she was one of the last to use the shower. Magic soap in hand, she stepped under a stream of ice-cold water. She didn't quite place her trust in the soap and wanted to be extra-careful.

XXX

Akane was frustrated. Virtually every girl in the school was giving them the cold shoulder. It was impossible to ignore, and even if Ranma seemed able to shrug it off, it hurt Akane's feelings.

Before their last class of the day, a certain Captain of Rhythmic Gymnastics dropped by to gloat.

"Oh ho ho ho! What seems to be the problem? Girls ignoring you?"

"Hello, Kodachi," Akane said."

"Shoulda figured this had something to do with you," Ranma muttered.

Miss Kuno looked shocked. "Why, nothing of the sort! But then you know, word has gotten out that you two are not only my rivals for the hand of my darling Ranma Saotome, but also that you are dirt poor peasant girls who are only allowed to attend school here because your mother is a lowly member of the school staff..."

"She's the Vice Principal!" Akane exclaimed.

"Then you _admit_ it, in front of everyone! You poor dears! Status is _everything_ at St. Hebereke's, and you two are on the very bottom rung of the ladder. _Nobody_ will dare befriend the likes of you, for fear of losing their own friends!"

"Yeah, whatever," Ranma said. "We already got that explained to us, so what's your point?"

"That's not true," a girl seated nearby said. "Not everybody listens to what you or Suma say, Kodachi. _I_ certainly don't."

Ranma and Akane glanced at this new girl. She was tall and slender, with tanned skin and long blonde hair. She looked, in fact, very much like the other rich high-society girls of the school. So why was she suddenly speaking up in their defense?

Kodachi turned and glared at this new girl. "Kaida! As if anyone cares what a sick, twisted girl like you has to say!"

"Pot, meet kettle," Kaida said.

"Careful, Kaida! You tread on dangerous ground!"

Kaida rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Dachi. Let's not forget that my father could buy yours many times over."

"Money alone does not provide you with status, dear Kaida! My family comes from a long line of noble samurai, as you well know. Unlike _your_ family, I might add."

Ranma smirked. "Some noble samurai your father is."

Kodachi glared daggers at Ranma. "Do not lie, you little harridan! My father..."

"Is the nutcase Principal of Furinkan High School," Ranma said.

Suddenly the whole classroom was filled with whispering voices.

"Is that true?"

"But that's a _public_ school!"

"Furinkan... her brother goes to school there, doesn't he?"

"The new girls come from there – they would know!"

"Isn't that the school with the Principal who wears Hawaiian shirts, and a palm tree on his head?"

"Oh, I've heard about him! He _is_ a nutcase!"

"Then maybe he really _is_ her father... it would fit the pattern..."

Kaida laughed out loud. "Oh 'Dachi, how humiliating!" she said. "At least _Ranma's_ mother works at a private school..."

Kodachi's face was red with fury. "Lies! They're all lies! My father is noble and good, and would never work in such a lowly position!" She turned on Ranma, eyes blazing. "You'll _pay_ for this, you little witch! I'll make your life a living hell!"

As Kodachi made her customary exit, complete with psychotic laughter and a swirling gale of black rose petals, Akane said, "Ranma, do you think that was wise? Kodachi can be very vindictive..."

"Yeah, whatever," Ranma said. "She already hates me. As for making my life a living hell, she'd better get in line."

Ranma looked up to see the girl Kaida standing over them, holding out her hand. "Hi there, you two. I'm Kaida Genji, and any enemy of Kodachi is okay in my book. You want to be friends?"

XXX

Just before the last bell of the day sounded, there was an announcement over the intercom: "Students Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo, please report to the Vice Principal's office."

Ranma slumped in her seat. "Gods! What'd I do now?"

Akane rolled her eyes. "That's your _mother's_ office, remember?"

Ranma blinked. "Oh, yeah. That's right." She paused, then added, "And she's gotta page us over the intercom like that? That's gonna get old real fast."

"Did you forget already? We've got detention."

"Oh, yeah."

"Which is _your_ fault, by the way."

"Hey! Kodachi started it!"

As Ranma and Akane entered the Vice Principal's office a conversation was going on in the next room. The Principal's office was separate, but a doorway connected the two. They could hear what was being said quite clearly.

"She _is_ the Captain of the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Club," a man said. Ranma looked at Akane and raised an eyebrow. They'd only met him briefly, but it sounded like the Principal speaking. "The _undefeated_ club, I might add. I know you don't think much of them, but quite a few of the girls on that club are from very rich families..."

"Sir, _most_ of the girls in this school come from rich families." The voice was that of Ranma's mother.

"Yes, indeed, and rich families are what keep this school going. In particular, the girls of the rhythmic gymnastics club and their families bring in some of our largest donations. It's important to keep such people happy. Don't rock the boat, as they say."

"You can't hold her to a different standard than the other students..."

"Oh, it's not a different standard, Mrs. Saotome. It's just being prudent."

Ranma and Akane exchanged looks as they sat there. Another minute passed. The conversation in the next room ended, and then the door to this office opened. Ranma's mother walked in quietly and sat behind her desk. By the look on her face she wasn't having a very good day.

"I take it Kodachi won't be punished for today's fight?" Ranma asked.

"Eavesdropping on private conversations is very rude," Nodoka said. She folded her hands in front of her. "It's not something a proper girl should ever do. And Ranma, dear, _please_ sit up straight. Slouching is very unladylike."

Ranma nodded and sat up. Nodoka smiled thinly. "So tell me, daughters, how was your first day at school?"

"Apart from the fight during lunch?" Ranma asked.

"Yes, apart from that," Nodoka said. "It's been a... trying day, for me, I'm afraid. I hope it's been better for you two."

"Oh... it's been okay I suppose," Ranma said.

"And you, Akane?"

"It was fine, Mrs. Saotome," Akane replied.

"That's good to hear. Have you made some new friends, I hope?"

"A couple, I guess," Ranma said.

"I think we made more enemies than friends," Akane said.

Ranma nodded. "I'm not too good at making friends. Enemies is more my specialty."

Nodoka frowned. "Yes. Well, as I understand it, Kodachi was already inclined to dislike you two after the events of last year..." She paused to look at Ranma. "When _you_, daughter, defeated her in Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics. Is that true?"

"Uh... yes?"

"I had not heard about that until just today."

"I... uh.. forgot to mention it?" Ranma suggested.

"But Mrs. Saotome," Akane began.

"Call me Mother, please."

"Mother Saotome," Akane began again. "It's not just Kodachi and her club friends. Practically _everybody_ in the school gave us the cold shoulder today, because we're not rich and powerful like they are."

Nodoka raised an eyebrow. "Is that so? Well, I've heard that many of the girls can be quite... clique-ish."

"To put it mildly," Akane said.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Nodoka said. "Nobody expects you to make a lot of friends on the very first day. People that judge you solely on your material wealth and social status are not the kind of friends you want to make anyway. I'm sure things will improve in the coming days."

Akane stared down at the floor. "I hope so," she said softly.

"There's one thing that might help." Nodoka paused to shuffle through paperwork on her desk. "A school club. That's a wonderful way to make friends." She held up a piece of paper. "I noticed, Ranma, that you didn't list which you would be joining."

Ranma shrugged. "I don't really need one."

"Daughter, club activities are a very important part of the learning experience. I expect you to participate in one club, at the very least."

"But I'm in a club, Mom. It's the Go Home Club."

Nodoka frowned. "That is not a club recognized by the school," she said severely.

"Aw Mom, I've never been in any clubs. The only thing I'm interested in is martial arts."

"There is a Karate Club that you could join..."

"Sheesh, Mom. Karate? That's like, baby stuff."

"Well, there is the Judo Club or the Kendo Club..."

Ranma shook her head. "I'm a student of _Anything Goes_, Mom. It's got nothing to do with that kind of stuff – you know that."

"This applies to you as well, Akane," Nodoka said. "I expect you to join at least one club also."

Akane sat up. "Mrs. Saotome -- Mother, that is -- I've never joined any clubs. I've always been pretty busy with my martial arts training." Before Nodoka could suggest anything, she added, "And I agree with Ranma -- Anything Goes is an advanced form of martial arts. Even if I'm not as good as Ranma, the martial arts clubs at this school have nothing to teach me."

"Then perhaps a sports club might work? There's a Baseball Club, and one for Basketball, and Football of course. Or perhaps Gymnastics?"

"Gods!" Ranma said. "Kodachi's club? No thanks!"

"Well then, since you are learning how to be a young lady, perhaps the Cooking Club, or the Fashion Club?"

Ranma looked doubtful. Akane looked even more doubtful.

"I can see that you both need time to think on it," Nodoka said. "I will give you two until the end of the week. If you haven't selected a school club by then, I will make the decision for you."

"Great," Ranma muttered. Nodoka glanced up sharply. "I mean, of course, Mother," Ranma added. She stood and threw in a quick curtsy just in case. "By the end of the week. We understand."

There was a knock at the door. "Yes?" Nodoka called out.

A girl stuck her head inside. "Forgive me, Saotome-sensei..."

"Ah, Kohana Honda. How may I help you?"

Ranma and Akane glanced up to see the gloomy, stoic face of the strange girl they'd eaten lunch with.

"Sensei, with your permission, I would like to invite your daughters Ranma and Akane over to my house this afternoon. After you're done here, of course. It would be for just a couple of hours, and I will make sure they get back home safe."

Ranma and Akane's eyes both went wide. Nodoka said, "Why Kohana, that is a very generous offer! Unfortunately, my two daughters are facing detention for their fight during lunch today..."

"How long will it be? I don't mind waiting."

Nodoka smiled. "It should be another forty minutes, dear. If you can wait that long, then they have my permission to go with you."

"Kohana? We never..." Ranma began.

The girl glanced at Ranma. "You promised to tell me something, remember?"

"I didn't promise..."

Kohana gave a very slight, almost imperceptible smile. "Good, then," she said. "I'll be waiting out front." And with that, she disappeared.

"There, now, you see?" Nodoka said. "You're making new friends even quicker than you expected."

"I'm not sure she counts as a _friend_," Akane began.

"Nonsense," Nodoka said. "You'll never make any friends with an attitude like that. Kohana is a very nice, very serious girl from a good family. To be invited over to her house on your first day is quite an honor. You girls should go with her and enjoy yourselves. Just be certain to return home in time for your evening studies."

The two girls looked at each other and shrugged. "Sure, mom," Ranma said.

XXX

Rin Tokudaji was in the school parking lot, working on her bike, a lavender Kawasaki Ninja. Her shorter, darker-skinned and powerfully-built friend Akela Leilani joined her.

"What are you doing?" Akela asked.

"Just checking the fuel intake," Rin said. "It felt a little off this morning." After a moment, she added, "So? What's the news?"

"They're both in detention," Akela said.

"Really? Well, that's what you get for fighting, I guess. But Akane too? She didn't even _do_ anything."

"Akane's the dark-haired one, right?"

There was a heavy sigh as the third member of their trio, Kaida Genji, joined them.

"Really, Akela, _please_ get with the program," Kaida said. "The red-haired one is Ranma Saotome, daughter of Vice Principal Nodoka Saotome, trained in the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts, and the girl who defeated Kodachi Kuno in that tournament last year..."

"Yeah, yeah, alright already, I _know_ that part."

"Akane Tendo is her adopted sister. _Also_ a good martial artist, my sources tell me, heir to the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts, who served as Ranma's second in the aforesaid tournament match."

"You gather information fast," Rin said.

"Always," Kaida said.

"And off _course_," Akela said, sighing in disgust, "they both get detention while Kodachi walks."

"Of course," Rin agreed.

"I'd welcome _any_ excuse to take Kuno down." Akela pounded her fist angrily. "Bitch pisses me off."

"Language, dear," Rin said.

"Bite me," Akela replied, but without much rancor.

"Adopted sister?" Rin asked. "They're not a couple, then?"

"I'm not really sure. They're close, and Akane _is _pretty butch. They bicker a lot."

"That usually indicates something deeper, below the surface," Rin said.

"I know," Kaid said. She sighed dramatically. "The perfect girl, and she's already spoken for!"

"Oh you!" Akela sid. "What perfect girl? You haven't even talked to her yet."

"Actually," Kaida said, "I have. So you'll get your chance to hit on them eventually."

"I didn't _say_ I was going to..."

Kaida smiled. "I made friends with both of them in class today," she said. "It was pretty easy. All the girls were ignoring them, Kodachi was there to gloat, and so I just inserted myself into the discussion."

"Oh, look at her," Akela said. "Moving right in, smooth as silk. Nothing stops her."

"I know," Rin said with a sigh. "I only wish_ I _was as bold as that."

Kaida clasped her hands together. "Two innocent girls, drowning in a sea of hostility, rescued by the noble lifeguard Kaida..."

"Stop it," Akela said, "before you'll make me throw up."

"Ignore her, Kaida," Rin said. "Don't give up hope. They may not be a couple; anything can happen!"

"Yeah, pigs could fly," Akela said. She paused. "Come to think of it, pigs _did_ fly, in that battle with Kodachi..."

"Oh, yeah," Rin said. "I remember that now..."

XXX

Half an hour later Ranma and Akane stepped outside of the Vice Principal's office. The door had hardly shut behind them when the two girls were assaulted by a series of familiar clicks. A girl stood in the hallway with a camera aimed at them, snapping away. They recognized hr immediately.

"Nabiki?" Akane asked. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Taking pictures. Can't you tell?" Nabiki smirked, and snapped several more shots. "Smile for the camera, you two!"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Don't you have enough pictures of the two of us to last you several lifetimes?"

"Perhaps. But none of them are of you two in _St. Hebereke_ uniforms..."

"And that's important... why?"

Nabiki paused to stare at her sister. "Oh, come on now," she said. "You two, in your new St. Hebereke school uniforms? You have_ no_ idea how valuable such pictures can be, to the right people."

"The right person, you mean," Ranma said. "Kuno."

Nabiki laughed lightly. "Well, what do you expect? Living on your own is an expensive proposition. A girl has to do what she can to get by."

"Living on your... Nabiki? What does that mean? Are you moving out?"

Nabiki shrugged. "I haven't decided yet. But if I attend school at St. Hebereke's I'll have a very long commute, so moving somewhere closer _is_ an option."

"So then... you _are_ going to attend here?"

"No idea. That's what I'm here to find out. I have an appointment with your mother."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. Nabiki snapped another picture. "Oh my, you both look _wonderful_ in those uniforms! You-know-who is going to fry a few brain cells when he sees these!"

XXX

First year student Miyuki Goji was waiting in her usual place by the fountain in Prince Arisugawa Park when her friends arrived. She wore a dark blue babydoll dress with a ruffled white pinafore over the top. It was quite cute, if not what you'd expect to see a school girl wearing on a normal day after school.

"And you picked this outfit to go sleuthing in?" Tomari asked.

"Of course!" Miyuki exclaimed, jumping up. "Special occasions call for special costumes!" She looked her friends up and down. "You know, you two _really_ need to get with the program. Those outfits are practically _normal_."

"Normal," Tomari said. "Imagine that."

"So, are you two ready to do some research?"

"Yeah, whatever," Tomari Honda said, feigning indifference.

"Sure Miyuki, Sachiko Nakayama said. "I even brought my sketchbook."

"Good! It's time we get to the bottom of the mystery that is Ranma Saotome. Next stop: Furinkan High School!"

XXX

Ranma and Akane found Kohana waiting outside the school for them, as promised – standing by a long black limousine.

"Wow, Kohana." Ranma looked the car over. "You ride to school in a limo?"

"Of course," Kohana said. "I live too far to walk. Besides, I'm not the only one."

She got into the back of the vehicle. "Are you two coming, then?"

"Now listen, Kohana," Akane said. "I wanted to talk to you about this. You can't just invite us to your house without... without _inviting_ us first."

"I see." she paused, then looked them both in the eye. "Ranma, Akane -- would you like to come over to my house?"

Ranma shrugged. Akane said, "That's not the point! You're just trying to find out Ranma's secret! That's all this is!"

"Perhaps," the girl agreed. "There'll be tea, you know, and cookies. Pastries too, if you want. Or a full dinner, if that suits you."

"Sounds good to me," Ranma said, climbing into the limo.

"Ranma!"

"What? I'm hungry!"

"She's just trying to buy your friendship with food!"

Ranma shrugged. "Akane, if I've learned one thing from my dad, it's this: Never pass up a chance for free food."

Akane sighed. "Okay then," she said, getting into the limo. "But if anything weird happens, it's _your_ fault!"

To Be Continued


	11. Chapter 11

I was going to wait at least a week before posting a new chapter, but... meh, can't help myself. I think this one is ready to go so I'm uploading it now. As for the chapter that follows this... much of it is written, I may have it done within a week. We'll see.**  
**

**Chapter Eleven: Two For Tragedy  
**

The limo rolled through downtown Tokyo, stopping frequently as it moved through traffic. Inside there was quiet. Music played softly. The seats were covered in a rich velvet of some sort and very comfortable. Ranma and Akane shifted nervously; neither of them had ever traveled like this.

Kohana sat across from them, watching them, saying nothing. She seemed to study them like a scientist watching her prize experiment, or like a cat watching a mouse.

"So..." Akane said. Her voice trailed off. Kohana merely nodded in her direction, as if waiting for the rest of the statement.

"So," Akane began again, "we're going to visit your house?"

"Yes," Kohana said.

Akane looked about her at the plush interior. "It must be a pretty nice one," she said.

"It's adequate," Kohana replied.

"And you're doing this to find out Ranma's secret?"

The ghost of a smile graced Kohana's lips for the briefest of moments. "If she is willing to tell me, then I would be delighted to hear of it. But I've invited you over only as an offer of friendship."

Ranma's eyes widened. "Oh -- we're friends then?"

"If you like," Kohana said.

Ranma nodded. "Nice. I've never been over to a friend's house before."

"Oh Ranma, that's not true," Akane said. "You've been to Ryoga's house, right? And Kuno's."

"They're not friends," Ranma said. "Well, maybe Ryoga _almost_ counts. But I wasn't there to hang out with him anyway. He didn't even know it was me."

"Well, what about Hiroshi or Daisuke?"

"Those guys were never my friends," Ranma said.

"What? Sure they were! You always hung out together!"

"At school, sure," Ranma said. "But not really because they were my _friends_, you know. We never did anything together after school."

"You went to movies with them."

"Well, a few times I guess. But that was about it. They were always, I don't know, a little in awe of my guy side I guess. Because I was so good at martial arts. They were friendly, but in a stand-offish kinda way. They'd never dream of inviting me over to their place, or dream that I'd accept if they did.

"Also when it came to my girl side, they were, you know, always wanting to get another look at me... grope me, or whatever. Not really any better than Happosai when it came right down to it."

"Well, that figures. Boys are perverts," Akane said.

The two lapsed into silence, and then noticed that Kohana was watching them intently.

Akane laughed nervously. "It's... um... our past is sort of complicated..."

"Oh, don't mind me," Kohana said. "Do go on. It's all quite fascinating."

XXX

Miyuki and her two friends stood at the gates of the infamous Furinkan High School, once the daily haunt of one Ranma Saotome and her friend Akane Tendo, to say nothing of many other notable personalities of which Miyuki was completely unaware. At this precise moment it was, however, mostly empty. A handful of students were practicing down on the track field, but for the most part the place seemed deserted.

A young girl in a Furinkan uniform came down the front steps. As she reached the gate, Miyuki accosted her.

"Hey, you! Tell me -- where_ is_ everyone?"

"What do you mean?" the girl asked. She looked about. "School's out. There's only the clubs left."

Miyuki slammed her fist into her palm. "Of course! Clubs! Kodachi's brother attends here, right? Isn't he in one of those... sword-swinging kind of club thingys..."

"The Kendo Club?" Sachiko offered.

"Yes!" Miyuki exclaimed. "That's it!" She paused, then glanced at her friend. "Oh, wait... _you're_ in the kendo club at our school, aren't you?"

"It's what I do," Sachiko agreed.

"You really might have noticed by now," Tomari added.

"Never mind that!" Miyuki spun back to confront the nameless schoolgirl again. "Tell me where the kendo club is!"

The girl tapped her chin "Actually, I heard that kendo club was canceled today by Upperclassman Kuno. He said he had something to do."

"Darn," Miyuki said. Then she brightened up. "Hey, maybe _you_ can help me! Do you know Ranma Saotome?"

"Ranma? Sure, everyone knew him. He wasn't in my class, but he was hard not to notice." She shrugged, then added, "I don't think he ever stayed after school though, except when he had a fight. There was this wandering boy... really hunky... and also, let's see, a near-sighted Chinese boy, that weird purple-haired girl, Kuno of course, also he fought Ukyo at least once... a lot of others that he only fought the one time..."

"Yes, yes, yes," Miyuki nodded impatiently. "I'm sure this boy Ranma was an amazing person. But what about his sister?"

"His sister?" the girl asked. "Do you mean the girl with the red hair?"

"Yes! Her!"

"Hmmm," the girl said. "That was his sister? I never really knew that. I mean, I saw her around, but the actual rumor was that... well... it's kind of silly, now that I think of it..."

"What? What was the rumor?"

"Never mind," the girl said. "I'm actually surprised I ever even believed in it." She shrugged. "I can't really tell you anything about that red-haired girl though, other than she was an amazing martial artist, as good as Ranma himself..."

She smiled. "Sorry, that's all I know," she added, and headed down the street.

Tomari waved after her. (Goodbye!) she called out. (Have fun storming the castle!)

XXX

Akane stared out the window. They were out of the city now, and driving past wooded areas. There were no houses to be seen. "So," she asked. "When do we get to your place?"

"We're already here," Kohana said.

Akane looked out the window again. "We're... um... still driving. Through a park of some sort."

"Yes," Kohana said. "This is the family estate."

Akane blinked. She stared out the window again.

"It _is_ rather large," Kohana added.

XXX

Miyuki's friends followed her down to the track field, and soon she was interviewing the head of the women's track team. Her name was Haruna, and she was short with few curves and two brown pigtails. She paused, considering. "Ranma? That pervert?"

"Actually," Miyuki said, "I'm looking for the _girl_ Ranma..."

"Ranma's not a girl, you know," Haruna said.

A second girl approached them. "Captain," she said. "We need to get started..."

"I _know_ there's a boy Ranma," Miyuki said. But there _are_ two of them, right?"

"_Two_ Ranmas? Ancestors, no!"

"There's only one Ranma," the second girl added. "Now he's gone, and good riddance."

Miyuki was dumbfounded. "But then – what was his sister called?"

"Sister?" Haruna asked. "I didn't even _know_ he had a sister.. look, I _really_ need to get going."

(Inconceivable!) Miyuki exclaimed, in English, as the two girls left. She cast about for another victim, and spotted a tall boy just walking off the field.

"You!" she exclaimed. "Yeah, you! What's your name?"

"I'm Asuta," the boy replied, coming over. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"What can you tell me about Ranma Saotome?"

"Ranma?" the boy said. "He's okay. He doesn't go to school here anymore, though." The boy laughed and added, "Actually, it's been kinda quiet since he left. I never really liked him, but now I kind of miss him..."

"Yeah, yeah, we've all got our crosses to bear," Miyuki said dismissively. "What I'm actually looking for information on the_ girl_ Ranma Saotome."

"Oh, her?"

Miyuki nodded enthusiastically. "So you know about her?"

"Of course," the boy said. "Everyone in the school knew about her."

Miyuki blinked in surprise. If _that_ was true, then why was it so hard to get any concrete information on her?

"Tell me," she said, "Is she related to the boy Ranma?"

"Well... in a manner of speaking, yes."

"Are they brother and sister, then?"

"Not as such..." the boy said.

Miyuki ground her teeth while counting to ten, slowly.

"Well then," she finally said, "could you _please_ explain to me who she really was?"

"Sure," the boy said. He paused as the track coach out on the field blew his whistle. "Whoops, sorry!" he exclaimed. "Break time's over."

As the boy ran back onto the field, Tomari said, "Maybe you weren't _meant_ to know the truth."

(Inconceivable! ) Miyuki growled, again.

(You keep using that word,) Tomari began. (I do not think it means..). A vicious glare from Miyuki stopped her. "Oh, come on!" she cried out. "It's my _favorite_ movie, and you quoted from it _twice_. In _English_. You're just _begging_ for me to respond..."

"Yeah, whatever," Miyuki said. "Well, we're not getting anywhere here. Let's hit the streets."

Sachiko nodded. "I've finished my sketch anyway."

"What did you get?" Tomari asked curiously.

"Both Haruna and Asuta," Miyuki said, studying the drawings critically. "Oooh, very nice! We could maybe use them as villains in the second chapter..."

"Make him a villain?" Tomari asked. "Aw, but he's _cute_..."

"All the bad guys will be cute," Miyuki said. "Sachiko doesn't draw any other kind..."

XXX

Kohana lived in a mansion larger than Ranma or Akane could have imagined. It was several stories high, made of a dark grey brick, and looked like a European castle. As they climbed out of the car, they couldn't help but stare at it.

"You really live here?" Akane asked.

"During the school year, yes," Kohana said. "It's not as Gothic as I might like, but daddy has refused to sell it for something more palatable." She paused, and added, "There _is_ a lovely Catholic graveyard on the back corner of the property, though. I'm not sure who put it there, but I approve. It's small, but suitably spooky."

Kohana stood by the driver's door. The window slid down just a fraction. "Thank you, Ito," she said. "You will need to take the girls home later. I'll call. You're free until then."

As the car drove off, Ranma asked, "Ito? That's your driver's name?"

Kohana nodded. "She is my chauffeur."

"She?"

"Does it surprise you that my chauffeur is female?"

"No, I..." Ranma paused. "Well, yeah, I guess. A little."

"She's a good employee, and those are hard to come by," Kohana said as they walked to the entrance. Wide marble steps flanked by two large stone lions led to massive double-doors, giving the impression of the entry to a large public building like a library and not merely a family residence.

One large door swung open. Inside stood a giant in a tuxedo. His skin was dark, his eyes black, and his head bald. He was easily over seven feet tall, and very powerfully muscled. There was no doubt that he out-massed Ranma three to four times over.

"This is our family butler, Mr. Khan," Kohana said.

Khan bowed low. "Greetings, Lady Kohana," he rumbled in a _very_ low register. "And how are we this evening?"

"The day is tolerable, Mr. Khan," she said. "May I introduce my friends Akane Tendo, and Ranma Saotome." She paused, looking a bit puzzled. "I understand that you two are sisters...?"

"Akane is my adopted sister," Ranma said.

"It is a pleasure to meet you both," the huge butler rumbled.

"Mr. Khan?" Akane said. "That's your real name?"

The butler smiled, displaying a row of very bright and surprisingly sharp-looking teeth. "No, Miss Tendo, it isn't. My real name would be difficult to pronounce."

The entrance was large and dark, with a ceiling two stories high. There was a fountain in the center of the room, with a marble statue of a fairy girl with bat wings and demonic horns. Water poured from a twisted vase held in her hands. Mist floated over the water and poured from the fountain edges to flow across the marble floor.

Noticing their stares, Kohana said, "I had Khan fill the fountain with dry ice before we arrived. I feel it sets a certain mood."

"I suppose it does," Ranma said, doubtfully.

"Your dad _lets _you do this stuff?" Akane asked.

"Well, it helps that he's not here to _stop_ me," Kohana said. "Father and Mother are in Europe. Tomari and I have been abandoned. We're on our own." Speaking in her usual emotionless monotone, it was hard to tell if Kohana was actually depressed, or joking, or simply bored.

Akane glance back. "At least you have Miss Ito and Mr. Khan," she said.

"Oh yes," replied Kohana. "Plus two dozen other estate staff."

She took a few steps forward, then turned and said darkly, "I'd like to add that my father is a 900-year-old vampire."

Ranma and Akane's eyes went wide. "He... he _is_?" Ranma asked.

"No," Kohana said. "He's a boring businessman. But I'd _like_ to say otherwise; it would be much more interesting then."

Ranma blinked. "You gotta watch what you say around us," Ranma said. "We've seen stranger things than vampires."

"That's why I invited you over," Kohana said. "Your life seems quite _interesting_ compared to mine."

Ranma nodded.

To one side of the entranceway was a huge floor-to-ceiling mirror. Ranma eyed it warily, wondering if it was a gateway to another dimension, or might produce an evil twin when you touched it. She vowed not to do so.

As they walked into a large living room, Kohana saidd, "Father owns a lot of companies. People sometimes ask if we own Honda Motor Company. We don't, although Father _did_ invest quite a bit in them back in the sixties. He's not related to Soichiro Honda, but he liked that the company shared his name. Of course, it was also an excellent investment. Father's investments always are.

"As for Mr. Khan – he is actually an ogre who was defeated in battle by my great-great-great grandfather, General Hirohito Honda. He's been the family butler for 175 years."

Akane frowned. "Kohana, why do you say things like that?"

The girl shrugged. "It sounds more interesting than saying he's an ordinary human who was hired six years ago."

"You have a weird sense of what sounds interesting."

"Khan, by the way, is an excellent kenpo student. If you like, you could spar with him later. We have a dojo on the premises."

Ranma glanced back at the towering butler. _I'll bet he punches like a sledgehammer_, she thought.

"Sure," she said. "I'd _love_ to spar with him. That sounds like fun."

At the bottom of a large staircase a maid appeared. She wore what might be called a stereotypical cute maid outfit. The black dress was extra-short, and worn over layers of white petticoats that poofed out the skirt. An overly-ruffled white apron and a matching lace headpiece completed the look.

She had short black hair, brown eyes, and a warm smile. She curtsied and said, "Ah, Miss Kohana! Welcome home!"

"Hello, Nami. These are my friends, Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo. I'll be entertaining them this evening... in the west library, I think. Yes, that would be best. We would like some tea -- Orange Blossom White sounds good, with a selection of other teas, unless," she glanced back at her two friends. "Is there anything in particular you two would like?"

Ranma shrugged. "Green tea is fine," she said.

"The Dragon's Gate, then," Kohana said. "Also some milk and juice and and sweets... a tray of cookies and vegetables, some fruit, and..." She studied Ranma, apparently remembering the redhead's voracious appetite at lunch. "Actually we'll take several trays of h'or dourves. Whatever is not too much trouble."

"Very good," the maid said. "I'll inform the kitchen staff directly."

Kohana led the two up the stairs to the second floor and down a wide hallway. A green-eyed kitten with rich black fur ran to them. "Ah, Sigil," Kohana said, picking it up. "How is my familiar on this dreary day?"

"Mew," the cat replied.

Ranma stood stock still, her body trembling. "C-c-cat!" she choked..

"Hmm?" Kohana glanced up. "Is there a problem, Saotome?"

"Ranma has an aversion to cats," Akane said.

Kohana held the kitten up to Ranma. "But Sigil is so _cute_. How can you resist?"

"Ah! C-c-cat!" Ranma flopped onto her back. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

Kohana stared down at the unconscious redhead. "Curious. She's gone _catatonic_." She paused, as if waiting for a reaction from Akane, then added, "I've never seen anything quite like that."

"Just a little gift from her father," Akane said. "Part of the Neko-Ken training."

"How odd. Is that what registers as a second curse? I must investigate." She turned to the cat. "Sigil?"

The cat meowed.

"Leave us for now."

The cat meowed again, then jumped to the carpet and scampered off.

Watching this, Akane asked, "You can talk to your cat?"

"Of course. Anybody can, you know."

"And they _listen_?"

"Ah," Kohana said. "That _is_ the tricky part. I suppose it helps if you speak their language.

"Now, help me drag Ranma to my boudoir. I'd like to dress in something more comfortable."

XXX

"All I'm _saying_," Miyuki said, "is that Sachiko is the kendo artist, so _naturally_ she should say the Inigo Montoya lines. He was a famous swordsman, after all. It stands to reason."

The three friends had struck out on their information-gathering trip to Furinkhan High. Despite interviewing two dozen classmates of Ranma, they still had no clue how boy Ranma was related to girl Ranma. Now they were cruising the streets of Nerima, with only Miyuki knowing what they were looking for. At least it was an interesting field trip, of sorts.

"It's _my_ favorite movie," Tomari said, "so _I_ should get to pick whose lines I get to quote. Anyway, if _you're_ Vizzini, and _she's_ Inigo, then what does that leave me? Fezzik? Who wants to be _that_ big oaf?"

"No no," Miyuki said, "you're not Fezzik. You can be... you can be Buttercup."

"Buttercup?" Tomari said. "_Buttercup_? But she... she doesn't have _any_ good lines at all!"

Miyuki held up a hand. "Wait!" she hissed. "I've found what I'm looking for."

The other two girls gathered behind her. Ahead of them was a crowded open market, with stalls full of fruit and vegetables. "What? Who do you see?"

"Her!" Miyuki pointed to a woman in the crowd. "I recognize her! What luck! She's one of the Tendo sisters – the older one. Akane's eldest sister. If _she_ can't help us, I don't know who can."

"Let's go ask her, then," Tomari said, starting to move forward.

Miyuki's hand clamped onto Tomari's arm with a death grip. "No, no, no! She might get suspicious! We have to be _subtle_."

Tomari pulled back. "Okay, then. What did you have in mind?"

"Just watch me, and follow my lead."

As the young woman came towards them, Miyuki sprang forward, crashing headlong into her. Groceries went flying everywhere.

"Oh no!" Miyuki exclaimed. I'm so clumsy! Please forgive me!"

Tomari glanced at Sachiko and rolled her eyes. "Subtle, she says."

"Oh my!" the Tendo girl exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," Tomari said. "It's just that... we're kind of lost. We don't normally come to this part of town. We're students from _St. Hebereke_."

Sensing their cue, Tomari and Sachiko made their entrance. Miyuki began gathering scattered foodstuffs.

"Oh no!" the Tendo girl said. "My eggs are broken!"

"Oh, it's all my fault," Miyuki said. "Don't worry, I'll buy you some more..."

"Oh, but you really needn't do that. It was an accident after all."

"It's no problem, Miss. I have money... my family is fairly well off. That's how they can afford to send me to _St. Hebereke's School for Girls_."

"Well, if it's no trouble," the young woman said doubtfully.

Miyuki slapped a palm to her forehead. "Sheesh, how dense can you get?" she muttered under her breath.

"Sorry?"

"Nothing! It's no trouble at all!" Miyuki laughed nervously. "My name is Miyuki Gojo, by the way. These are my friends, Tomari and Sachiko."

"Well! How nice to meet you. My name is Kasumi."

"Kasumi?"

"Yes. Kasumi Tendo."

"You wouldn't be related to Akane Tendo, would you? She's one of the new girls at school – at _St. Hebereke's School for Girls._"

"Why, yes, that's my youngest sister!" Kasumi put her hands to her lips. "Now that you mention it, that's the name of her new school. No wonder it sounded familiar!"

XXX

Kohana's boudoir contained the largest closet Akane had ever scene. Long rows of clothing disappeared into the distance, as if she were looking into a mine shaft and not simply a wardrobe. It was not so much a walk-in closet as a hike-in-and-pack-a-good-lunch closet.

The other odd thing was that about ninety percent of everything was black. Here and there a white shirt, white trim, or something in a deep crimson broke up the monotony, but the red and white items only existed as accessories to an overall theme.

They deposited the unconscious Ranma on a divan. "Excuse me for a moment, Akane," Kohana said. She disappeared behind a tall dressing screen. Akane noted the design of the screen – that of witches on broomsticks, flying before a full moon.

When Kohana stepped out several minutes later, she wore a black dress with a tightly laced bodice and long flared sleeves. It was decorated on the sides, sleeve and skirt with a spider-web lace pattern. A small belt made of silver chain with a silver winged bat buckle hung at the waist. The dress ended at mid-thigh, revealing black stockings with a spider-web pattern on them, dotted here and there by small spider. Kohana had also applied makeup to make her face more pale, then added black lipstick.

"Much better," she said.

"Black lipstick?" Akane asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kohana placed a black witch's hat on her head. It had a wide brim and a pointed cone top. "Of course," she said. "Sadly, it's forbidden for me to wear at school. I've no idea why. Perhaps the administration fears it might attract demons."

She turned to look at Akane and the still-unconscious Ranma. She folded her arms across her chest. "Ranma's still out? I've never heard of such extreme catphobia. This is due to _training_?"

"I'm afraid so."

"I must say, the combat advantages of losing consciousness escape me."

Akane laughed. "Well, if it goes _too_ far, she turns into a cat. She's really dangerous then."

""Technically this is not an _actual_ curse, but a response to traumatic memories. There _may_ be something I can do about it. But first," Kohana paused and faced her massive closet, "we need to find something for you two to wear."

"For us?" Akane asked. "We don't need anything."

"Nonsense," Kohana said. "You've worn those uniforms all day. School's over. Time to wear something else." She paused, and then said, "Ah. _This_ may work."

Kohana tossed an outfit to Akane, who held it up. It was a black corduroy jumper dress. On the front were cute pictures of cartoon skeletal kittens.

"Very... um, cute," Akane said.

"Far too cute for my tastes," Kohana replied. "Too... cheerful. Mother got that for me. She really doesn't understand my fashion tastes at all, but at least she tries. It may suit Ranma, though. She should keep it, in fact. I've never worn it nor ever plan to."

Akane glanced at her unconscious adoptive sister. "Kitties? Just what she needs."

"She needs to overcome her phobia sooner or later," Kohana said. "She'll need a top. Let me see." After a moment she pulled out a white cotton blouse with short puffed sleeves and a print pattern of black cartoon figures.

"Goth Hello Kitty?" Akane asked, studied the figures closely.

"Another gift from mother," Kohana added. She appeared with white tights and black pumps. "She can keep the shirt, too. In fact, she can keep the whole outfit."

"I'm not so certain this is a good idea," Akane said.

Ranma awoke a few minutes later. She was lying on a couch. She glanced around. She was in a dressing room of some sort. The muffled voices of Akane and Kohana drifted to her from behind a tall screen.

Ranma started to sit up, then glanced down at herself. Her legs were clad in white tights decorated with black kitten paw prints. Black pumps were on her feet. She wore some kind of dres of black corduroy that hung loose from just below her armpits.

She stared at the cute kitty skeletons on the front of the dress. Her eyes twitched. Then she stared a the sleeve of her blouse... at the Hello Kitty print.

Her body began to tremble. "C-c-cat!"

Kohana appeared from behind the screen. "Well," she said. "Here we go again."

"I _did_ warn you," Akane said.

"An aversion tocartoon kittens? They don't evenlook like real cats." Kohana stared down at the convulsing Ranma. She dangled a silver chain before Ranma's eyes. At the end of the chain was a translucent pearl, which, if you looked closely enough, was gripped in finely-detailed cat's claws. It was shiny and very bright.

"C-c-cat!" Ranma stammered.

"Yes," Kohana said. Her voice became warmer, with actual hints of emotion. "Now, Ranma, I want you to keep your eyes on the crystal. Concentrate on the crystal. Focus on that, and only that." The crystal swayed back and forth. Ranma's eyes track it. "Good. Now, Ranma, you are growing sleepy. It's growing hard to stay awake. Close your eyes, Ranma. Sleep."

Akane stepped out and stared down at a peacefully sleeping Ranma. "What did you do?" she asked.

"Just a little hypnosis," Kohana said.

"Oh! Can you hypnotize her to forget she hates cats?"

"Hypnotism doesn't work that way," Kohana said. "However, I have an idea that I'm going to try.

"I want to erase Ranma's memory."

XXX

Miyuki, Tomari, and Sachiko shared a large super-deluxe sundae with Kasumi Tendo. Miyuki had insisted, as a way to help pay for running into their friend. Kasumi indicated that she didn't have a lot of time, but finally relented, curious to hear how Akane and Ranma were adjusting to their new school.

"I'm surprised you know Akane and Ranma so well," Kasumi said. "Wasn't today their first day at your school?"

"Yes, that's true," Miyuki replied. "But actually I met them on Sunday. I've even been over to their house."

"How wonderful! It's so nice to know they've already made friends!"

Kasumi ate a spoonful of ice cream, and her face lit up. "Mmm, so good! You know, this is the first ice cream I've had in a long time. Ranma can't get enough of it. Akane complains about how Ranma charms the boys at the at the desert shop with her cute looks, just to get free ice cream.

"Speaking of Ranma," Miyuki said, "you know both boy Ranma and girl Ranma, right?"

"I suppose I do, at that," Kasumi said.

"Can you tell me the difference between boy Ranma and girl Ranma?"

"How very subtle," Tomari said under her breath. This earned a glare from Miyuki. Sachiko, meanwhile, said nothing, but sat in the corner drawing in her sketchbook.

"Well," Kasumi said, "there really isn't that much difference. Girl Ranma is smaller, of course, and has the red hair. Boy Ranma is taller and has black hair. As for other differences?" Her voice trailed off as if she were deep in thought, then she said, "Girl Ranma looks _much_ cuter in a dress..."

"How are they related?" Miyuki asked.

Kasumi frowned. "Well it's kind of difficult to say, really. At first, I didn't think they looked that similar. In my head I tried to think of them as two different people who happened to have the same name and same personality. But, as it turns out, girl Ranma looks a great deal like her mother. That really surprised me. So now I'm pretty certain that girl Ranma is what boy Ranma would have looked like if he'd been born a girl."

Miyuki's eyes crossed from the effort to parse this sentence.

"Excuse me?"

"I"m just saying that they apparently _are_ related," Kasumi said. "It's almost as if they were brother and sister."

"But they're not brother and sister?"

"Well, of course they aren't," Kasumi said. "That would be impossible, wouldn't it?"

Miyuki sighed. "Maybe I should try this from another direction," she said. "Where is boy Ranma right now?"

"Oh, he's gone," Kasumi said.

"Gone?"

"Yes. Apparently he won't be around for quite some time. That was his mother's idea. She wants to spend more time with her daughter, you see."

"So... she just sent her son away?"

"Well... yes, you could say that."

Kasumi glanced at her watch. She smiled again. "It was very nice to meet you, Miyuki-chan, Tomari-chan, and Sachiko-chan. Thank you so much for the ice cream! But I really must be going..."

"Wait!" Miyuki said, desperate. "Can't you at least explain to me why there's no records of girl Ranma being a student at Furinkan?"

Kasumi thought about this a second. "Well," she said, "I'd say she never _was_ a student there. At lest, not officially..."

XXX

"Erase her memory?" Akane asked, alarmed. "You... you can't _do_ that!"

"Only a specific memory," Kohana said. "That of the Neko-Ken training. And it won't be _erased_ per se, not completely. But the trauma will be greatly diminished. It should greatly ease Ranma's fear of cats."

"Oh," Akane said. "Can you _really_ do that?"

"Of course," Kohana said. "There's actually a non-magical therapy that does this. You see, every time you remember something, you recreate that memory. Scientists didn't understand that until recently. It's not a process of recalling a static memory. The memory itself is _recreated_ in your head each time you remember it.

"There's a drug exists that actually prevents memories from forming. It blocks the proteins somehow. When you apply the drug _just_ as a patient is reliving a traumatic memory, then that memory is considerably weakened."

"Really? That's amazing," Akane said. Then her eyes narrowed. "And you just happen to have some of this drug lying around?

"No," Kohana said.

"Then how..."

"I _do _have avery complete alchemical laboratory," Kohana said. "I may be able to synthesize a magical compound that accomplishes the same thing. Just give me a few minutes..."

Ten minutes later the two girls gathered about Ranma. Kohana set some incense in a burner nearby. Akane had some misgivings about what they were going to do – shouldn't they _ask_ Ranma first? The Neko-Ken was sometimes a useful tool. More importantly, it had always been Akane's ace in the hole in her rivalry with Shampoo, who turned int a cat. Then again, she was fairly certain Ranma would rid herself of her one big weakness if she could.

"Now that I think about it," Akane said, "Shampoo once used pressure points and magic shampoo to erase part of my memory. I wonder why we never tried that on Ranma?"

"It worked?"

"Well... only for a while."

"Magic is not always the best solution for a problem," Kohana said. "Now, if we're ready..."

She leaned over the redhead and began to speak in a soothing voice. "Ranma, this is Kohana. I'm going to ask you some questions. They may be scary, but it's important that you answer me truthfully. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Ranma said softly.

"Good. Now, we're going to go back to when you were young. You are on a training trip with your father. He wants to train you in the Neko Ken. Do you remember this, Ranma?"

'Yes." This time, Ranma's voice was very childlike.

"Tell me," Kohana said, "what you remember."

Ranma began her story. "Father is wrapping fish cakes around me..."

Kohana lit the incense.

XXX

Hiroshi and Daisuke walked into their favorite after-school hangout, then froze. The two of them looked back at the sign on the door. "Oh, no," Hiroshi said. "Not this place, too..."

A small, wrinkled old woman hopped over the counter and landed in front of them, balancing atop a long staff. "Welcome, boys," she said. "How may I help you?"

"Good day, Cologne." Daisuke looked from the ghoul back to the sign on the door. "You're selling the Cat Café?"

"Just closing at this location," Cologne said with a smile. "I appreciate your patronage, but times change."

"But why?" Hiroshi asked. Not that he really _needed_ to ask.

"When I moved here, this seemed like a perfect location for our establishment," Cologne said. "Alas, no more. I've seen the writing on the wall, and this location has grown less desirable. It's time for a change." She smiled and added, "The smart businesswoman knows when to move on, but have no fear, we won't be moving far. I've already picked out the new location, in fact."

Daisuke knew the answer, but he had to ask it anyway. "Someplace closer to St. Hebereke's School for Girls?"

The Amazon matriarch cackled loudly. "Why, whatever gave you _that_ idea? Although, as a matter of fact, it struck me as a _perfect_ new location for our humble ramen shop..."

Daisuke sighed. "Hiroshi my friend, I have this sinking feeling that our lives are about to become a great deal less interesting."

"You said it, Daisuke. No Ranma. No Akane. No Shampoo..."

"...Nobody to keep Principal Kuno or Hinako Sensei occupied..."

"What are we going to do?"

"Welcome to hell, my friend."

XXX

When Ranma awoke she was in a large reading room. Books lined the walls on all sides. She was curled up in a high-backed char with red velvet cushions. To her left sat Akane, wearing a white silk shirt and a pleated skirt of black. Across from her sat Kohana in full witch regalia, including short black dress, spider-web tights and pointed witch's hat.

Ranma blinked. Between them was a large, low table laden with food. Several pots of tea and two pitchers of iced juice and milk sat amid multiple trays of snacks. There were cookies (in the shape of bats and spiders), cut vegetables with several dipping sauces, fresh fruit, egg rolls, mini quiche (with spider web decorations on top), finger sandwiches, meatballs, chicken brochettes, yakitori, grilled squid, octopus balls, creme puffs, mini kebobs...

Ranma's mouth began to water.

"Ah, you're finally awake," Kohona said. "I was afraid that the food would get cold."

Ranma didn't wait a moment longer. Her stomach demanded to be fed; she obeyed.

After several minutes of Ranma stuffing her face, Kohana said, "So, Ranma, how do you feel?"

Ranma paused. "I dunno," she said. "Fine, I guess. Why was I asleep?"

"You passed out when you saw my kitten Sigil," Kohana said.

"Oh," Ranma said. "That's right. I remember now. I've always been afraid of cats." She paused, then asked, "I didn't, like... start meowing, and stuff?"

"Go into the Neko-Ken?" Kohana asked. "No, you just passed out."

"Oh, good." She blinked. "So... you know about that then?"

"Akane explained it to me." Kohana glanced to Akane. Her face held another of her very faint, now-you-see-it-now-you-don't smiles. "So, Ranma," she said, "how do you like what you're wearing?"

Ranma glanced down at herself, taking in the white tights with the black kitten paw pattern, the black jumper dress with the cartoon kitten skeletons, and the blouse with the Hello Kitty print. "Where'd _this_ come from?" she asked.

"Just something I had lying around. Do you like it?"

Ranma frowned. "I suppose it's cute, but cats aren't really my thing."

"As I told Akane, it's not something I ever plan to wear. Perhaps you would like to keep it?"

Ranma studied the kitty skeletons. "Well," she said, "I suppose they're only _cartoon_ kittens.. What do you think, Akane? Is it cute?"

"Very cute," Akane agreed.

Ranma shrugged. "Sure, then," she said. "I'll keep it."

Akane was watching Ranma in wonder. "That really doesn't bother you?" she asked. "Even a little bit?"

"A few cartoons?" Ranma asked. "Nah. Not really."

Just then a black kitten jumped into Kohana's lap. It turned its green eyes on Ranma. She immediately stiffened up. "Kohana," she warned, "I don't like to be around cats. They sort of make me freak out."

"They do?"

"Yeah. I had a bad experience when I was young."

Kohana nodded. "Okay then." She sat Sigil on the carpet. "Leave us for now, Sigil.

"Meow," the kitten said, and raced away.

Kohana stared at Akane. She raised an eyebrow. Akane looked thoughtful. "Would you call that a success?" Kohana asked.

"Without a doubt," Akane replied. She glanced over at the redhead, who was once again devouring the food set before her. "You know, Ranma," she said. "you've gotten a lot better around cats. Don't you remember how bad you used to get?"

"You think so?" Ranma asked, still stuffing her face.

"But really, Kohana," Akane said. "You didn't invite us here to talk about Ranma's aversion to cats, did you?"

When Kohana didn't say a word, Akane added, "Weren't you going to ask Ranma's curse?"

"Actually," Kohana said, "You need not tell me. I think I already know..."

XXX

"The point _is_," Miyuki insisted, "that the movie would have been _so_ much better if it had been "Magical Princess Buttercup" instead of just plain old _ordinary_ Princess Buttercup."

"How so?"

"Well for _one_ thing, there would have been none of this waiting around for the handsome Prince to save you garbage."

"Wesley wasn't a handsome Prince, he was a dashing swashbuckler pirate Captain."

"What_ever_. But if she'd been a magical girl then she'd have just kicked Vinzzini's butt, and Inigo, and Fezzik, and Prince Humperdink – and that torture guy with six arms..."

"Six fingers."

"What?"

"Count Tyrone Rugen had six fingers," Tomari said.

"Like it _matters._" Miyuki heaved a dramatic sigh. "The point is, a proper magical girl doesn't need to be rescued. She'd have dropped the hammer of love on their heads right off, end of story._"_

"Well, that would certainly have made for a shorter movie," Tomari said.

"Not necessarily," Miyuki replied. "It all depends on how long the transformation sequence is, and how often you use it."

"But that's your solution to _everything_," Tomari said. "When we saw _The Titanic_, you said that Rose should have transformed into a magical girl and saved the ship..."

"And I was right! It would have been a _totally_ more awesome movie! The way they did it was just depressing. All those people dying? Come on!"

"But that's because..."

Tomari never got to finish the thought. Miyuki had come to a full halt. She held up her hand. She sniffed the air. Heavenly scents wafted to them on the breeze from a nearby okonomiyaki restaurant. Miyuki's stomach rumbled in response.

"Are you two hungry?" she asked.

"Starving," Tomari said.

A few minutes later the three friends were seated in Uchan's. They watched as the skilled chef expertly grilled their okonomiyaki.

Miyuki sighed heavily. "Well," she said, "a whole evening wasted and we haven't gotten anywhere. This _completely_ sucks!"

"It _is_ quite the mystery," Tomari added.

"Seriously," Miyuki groused. "Who is this girl anyway? She has no past. Everybody knows who she is, but nobody can tell me anything about her! Why does she share the same name as her brother? _Is_ he her brother? How can a girl so... so _dynamic_, so completely and utterly noticeable, with red hair no less – how does somebody like that just appear out of nowhere, and vanish, whenever she wants? Like she's Sailor V or something!"

Plates of fresh okonomiyaki were set before them.

"So, what do we do now?" Tomari asked. "Give up?"

"Of _course_ I'm not giving up," Miyuki said. She took a bite of her food. "Wow," she said. "This is really good!"

"Thank you very much!" the chef exclaimed. "I'm so glad you like it!"

Miyuki swallowed several more bites before continuing.

"We checked the school. We talked to a lot of her friends. We talked to Kasumi. _She_, at least, should have been able to tell us something, but she was a complete ditz. So far we've come up with nothing, but there's _got_ to be more people we can talk to. There's at least one other sister, and a father. There must be a family doctor. We didn't talk to the school Principal yet..."

"Principal Kuno?" the chef said. "He's a nutcase. You _don't_ want to talk to him."

The three girls looked at the girl behind the grill.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the chef said, holding up her hands. "I don't mean to butt into a private conversation..."

"Miss..." Miyuki began.

"Ukyo Kuonji," the girl replied. "Call me Uchan. That's the name of the restaurant, after all."

"Miss Ukyo," Miyuki said again, "can I ask you about a girl that used to live in this area? She has red hair and her name is Ranma..."

"Ranchan?" Ukyo asked. "Do you mean Ranma Saotome?"

"Yes!" Miyuki exclaimed excitedly. "Do you _know_ her?"

To Be Continued


	12. Chapter 12

**Girl's School**

**Chapter Twelve**

"Weren't you going to ask about Ranma's curse?"

Shelves of books lined the walls of the room where Akane and Ranma sat across from Kohana Honda. They'd met her on their first day at St. Hebereke's School for Girls, and had been invited over to where she lived – a mansion on a very large estate. Trays of food sat on the low table between them, which Ranma was doing her best to devour.

"I _did_ ask," Kohana said. She was dressed as a witch, complete with a wide-brimmed pointed hat, and seated in a high-backed chair. "At lunch, remember? I am _quite_ curious, but it would be rude to ask twice, and I can see that you won't reveal your secrets to just anyone. And, as Akane has pointed out, we've only just met."

"That's true," Ranma said. The redhead wore an overly-cute outfit that included a black corduroy jumper dress with cartoon skeleton kitties on the front. It was quite amazing that Ranma could wear such a thing and not freak out. Kohana had used a combination of hypnosis and a magical incense to "cure" Ranma of her fear of cats, and so far it seemed to have worked.

"In any case," Kohana said, "you don't have to tell me. You've already said enough, and I can piece it together from here."

Ranma blinked in surprise. "You can?"

"Of course. I wouldn't be a witch if I couldn't." Kohana flashed another of her slight, almost-imperceptible smiles. She said, "A witch is nothing if not observant, and able to think outside the box. That's a part of Headology, you know." Her slight smile increase fractionally, which was apparently her equivalent of loud laughter. "That's a made up English word, from a fantasy book, but it's remarkably on-target when it comes to the kind of witchcraft I practice. There are magical girls who are bubble-headed ditzes with incredible powers that they have no idea what to do with. I want to be the _other_ kind. I want to be the girl whose powers aren't obvious, who gets little attention, but who notices everything around her and doesn't miss a detail. I want to put two and two together, and sometimes get five, because that answer is more true than the obvious one."

"Um..." Ranma said. "You've kind of lost me there..."

"Never mind, then." Kohana stood and walked over to one of the large bookshelves. She reached up and pulled down a very large book bound in black leather. Returning to her seat, she began to page through it, obviously looking for something.

"A book of spells?" Ranma asked.

"Hardly," Kohana said. "Just a book of information." She paused.

"The first clue is the curse itself," she said. "You have more than one, but the _big_ one – the _main_ one – is very bright. You know about auras?" She glanced up to see them both nodding. "Good. But you probably can't read them as I do. It takes a great deal of practice. Even_ I _am not that good at it yet, but I can see the curse buried within your aura. It's very bright, and very powerful, and very complicated. Part of it involves transformation, yes?"

Ranma's eyes widened in alarm. "Ah... how did you know?"

"I can read it in that part of your aura. It would be difficult to explain more fully. But It's not just a little transformation, it's a very _big_ transformation. It's very powerful magic we're dealing with here, am I correct? That narrows the possibilities considerably."

She paused to read a page silently, then began searching through the book again.

"Next, there is Kodachi Kuno, who thinks that Ranma is two different people -- a guy whom she's in love with, and a girl whom she hates. This by itself could be dismissed as an oddity from a girl who tells fortunes without a full Tarot deck..." Kohana paused as if pleased with this analogy, although she didn't smile. "...But in the car you were also talking about your 'girl' side and your 'guy' side."

"She's already figured it out," Akane said.

"No no, don't tell me, don't tell me," Kohana said, holding up a hand. "I want to see if I'm right. But that much is pretty obvious – transformation curse, guy side. You're probably cursed to turn into a guy."

Ranma blinked. "Um... yeah. Sorta."

"And you said that you trained with your father in China, and visited a lot of the more esoteric training grounds." She continued to flip through the book and then paused. "Ah, here it is," she said, and held up the thick book. "Jusenkyo, land of Accursed Springs. You've been there haven't you?"

"Uh,. yeah," Ranma said.

"As I thought." Kohana stared into the book for a few more moments, and then slammed it shut with a loud _thump_!

"You fell," Kohana said dramatically, "into the Nannichuan - the Spring of Drowned Man. You poor girl!"

"Um..." Ranma began.

"Or were you pushed?" Kohana asked, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps your father wanted a _son_ instead of a daughter?"

"Well... that part's true enough..." Ranma said.

Setting the book aside, Kohana stood and crossed the room. She leaned in to Ranma, placing her arms around her lightly. It took a moment before Ranma realized that it was intended to be a hug – it was the most un_gloomp_like hug she'd ever experienced.

"Um... Kohana?" Ranma asked.

"You poor girl," Kohana said. "It must be hard to live with a curse where you might transform into a boy at any moment..."

"Kohana," Ranma said, "I didn't fall into the Nannichuan."

Kohana pulled back. "You didn't?"

"No. Um... I sorta fell into the _Nyannichuan_ – the Spring of Drowned Girl."

Kohana blinked. "Oh," she said. Then her eyes grew bigger. "Oh!"

She flopped back down into her seat and stared at Ranma a moment.

"So then... you decided that you preferred being a girl? I can't say that I blame you..."

"No!" Ranma and Akane shouted in unison.

Kohana raised an eyebrow. Ranma sighed. "I guess I'd better explain..."

XXX

Miyuki leaned across the grill and looked intently into the okonomiyaki chef's eyes. ""Do you _know_ her?" she asked.

"Do I know _her_?" Ukyo Kuonji repeated. "I should think so. I know Ranma Saotome better than anyone. You see, Ranma is my... er, that is, she and I were childhood friends."

Miyuki slammed her fist into her palm. "At last! A _real_ source of information!" She whipped out her laptop and set it up on the counter. "Do you mind if I ask you a few questions, Miss Ukyo?"

"You want to know something about Ranma?"

"Yes, very much so."

"Desperately," Tomari added.

'Okay," Ukyo said. "Shoot."

Miyuki typed something into her computer, looked at it for a moment, then asked, "For starters – what kind of manga does she like? And anime? Is she into any particular magical girl shows?"

"Miyuki," Tomari said with an exasperated sigh. "I thought you wanted to ask the _important_ questions..."

"Hush! This _is_ an important question!"

Ukyo tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I don't think Ranma's really 'into' _any_ manga or anime," she said. "Certainly nothing like a magical girl show."

"Hmm," Miyuki replied. "Are you certain? I swear I saw some Sailor Moon in her room, and Magical Project S..."

Ukyo shook her head firmly. "Absolutely not. That's not the Ranma I know at all."

"No? Well, that could be a problem. Then again, she comes to the job with no preconceived notions, so maybe it's a plus..." She began typing on her laptop.

"The only thing Ranma's really interested in is martial arts," Ukyo said.

"Yes. And loli goth fashion," Miyuki added, typing furiously.

"Excuse me?"

"Loli goth. You know, Gothic Lolita fashion."

"I really doubt that Ranma's interested in that..."

"Oh, no, she is. She's got books in her room on it. She subscribes to Kera magazine, and The Gothic & Lolita Bible. Plus she has this awesome black lace babydoll outfit from a shop called Dark Candy Princess."

Ukyo's brow furrowed in confusion. "Are we talking about the same Ranma Saotome?"

"Red hair, pigtail, talks like a guy, jumps about while fighting like you never see outside of a Hong Kong action flick?"

Ukyo nodded. "That's Ranma all right..."

"Good, good," Miyuki said. "I've got a _lot_ of questions to ask you, if you don't mind. Like – who's the _other_ Ranma? The _boy_ Ranma? How are they related? Why doesn't the girl Ranma seem to have any kind of past?"

Ukyo stared at the strange, obsessed girl cooly. She began to clean off the grill. "You girls are from St. Hebereke's, aren't you? I recognize the uniforms."

The three nodded.

"I can tell you everything you need to know."

"Everything?" Miyuki asked. "Good. The first thing I want to know is..."

"Absolutely everything," Ukyo interrupted her. "But I need a favor in return."

"Of course!" Miyuki said. "Name it!"

Ukyo paused. "It's... a pretty _big_ favor, actually..."

XXX

"So, cold water triggers the curse, and hot water reverses it?"

Ranma nodded. "That's how it works."

"Interesting," Kohana said. "An actual Jusenkyo curse. I've read about them, but I have never seen one in action. I wasn't sure they truly existed..."

"I'd appreciate it if you kept it a secret," Ranma said.

"Of course. I'm quite good at keeping secrets." She paused ,and then added, "May I see you transform?"

"What? No!"

"It need not be now," Kohana said. "But I would like to witness your transformation at some point. I would like to study it."

Ranma glanced at Akane. "Well... it's just that I made a promise to my mother. I'm supposed to remain a girl for at least a month, maybe longer."

"How much longer?"

"Um... that depends. Potentially until I graduate, I guess."

"It won't be that long," Akane said reassuringly.

"Okay then," Kohana said. "I can wait, as long as I'm allowed to witness it one day."

"Sure," Ranma said.

"Unfortunately," Kohana added, "from what little I know of Jusenkyo curses, there's virtually no chance I would be able to cure it."

Ranma and Akane blinked in surprise. "Uh... nobody expected that you _could_," Ranma said.

"But that _is_ why we're here," Kohana replied. As the girls continued to stare at her blankly, she added, "Didn't I say so? At lunch. I said that if you told me about your curse, I might be able to do something about it."

"Did you?" Ranma asked.

"Well, it's not as if I invited you over so quickly _just_ because I was curious," Kohana said. "I thought that maybe I could help." She stood and replaced the heavy book back on the shelf where it belonged. "At least I helped a bit with your other curse..."

"My other curse?"

"An irrational fear of cats," Kohana said.

"Oh that. I wouldn't say it's _irrational_," Ranma said. "My father tried teaching me the neko-ken." She paused, then added, "and what do you mean, you helped me with that?"

"The dress," Kohana said. "The blouse and tights. Even an hour or so ago those would have made you panic, yes?"

Ranma glanced down at the cartoon skeleton cats on her chest. "I suppose that true."

"You see? Already you've become less anxious in the presence of cats."

"But what did you do?"

"Just... a little spell," Kohana said. "A bit of hypnosis, a bit of suggestion. You haven't completely lost your fear of cats, but it should be much more manageable now."

Ranma blinked. "Really?" she said. "Ah... thanks." She glanced up. "I have to admit, you're pretty good, Kohana. Figuring my curse out like that, I'm impressed."

"Thank you."

Ranma cracked her knuckles and smiled a not-completely-nice smile. "My turn now," she said.

"Oh?" Kohana raised an eyebrow. "You've been observing things too?"

"That's right."

Kohana sat back in her chair. "Go ahead, then. Tell me what you've noticed."

Ranma held up a finger. "First, there's Khan, your butler. He really _is_ an ogre, isn't he?"

"Ranma," said Akane, "she said that was just a joke!"

"No, she didn't. She only said that it 'sounded better than saying he was a human'. That's not an admission that her first statement was wrong. I can't read auras as well as Kohana apparently can, but I can see enough in Khan's aura to know that he really _isn't_ human. His aura is different from just about any I've seen before."

"Very good," Kohana said.

"Second," Ranma said, "you really _are_ a witch, aren't you?"

"I never said I wasn't."

"No, but the way you just tell that to everyone makes it seem like you're just crazy or eccentric or something. But aside from your ability to read auras, I can sense something in you – in your own aura – that is beyond what I'd normally sense in a martial artist. You've got a lot of power, but it's not chi. For lack of a better word, I guess I'd call it... magic?"

"Well, I'm not _that_ good," Kohana said. "But yes, you're right. I've been studying magic on my own for a few years now."

Akane looked from Ranma to Kohana. "Are you serious? You're telling me that she really _is_ a magical girl?"

Ranma nodded. Kohana almost, but not quite, smiled. "Why so surprised, Akane? You _did_ see me practice magic on Ranma and her curse..."

"Well, sure... but that was just incense and hypnosis..."

"Remember, Akane," Kohana said, "I'm the _other_ kind..."

Akane nodded.

"That said," Kohana added, then paused. She held up her hand and began to chant. A small ball of flame burst into existence, floating just above her palm. "I _can_ do a few things."

"That's not chi," Ranma said.

"Indeed it isn't."

"Ranma held up her palm. A small ball of energy appeared and grew to the size of a baseball.

"This," Ranma said, "is."

"Impressive."

Akane rolled her eyes. "If you two are finished showing off...?"

XXX

"It's... a pretty _big_ favor, actually..." Ukyo said.

"Miss – what was your full name again?" Miyuki asked.

"Ukyo Kuonji."

Miyuki nodded. She held up her thumb and forefinger. "Miss Ukyo Kuonji, I am _this_ close to fulfilling my lifelong dream of becoming the best friend of an actual, honest to the heavens, real-life magical girl. I am _desperate_ for any information that you have. Any favor you ask is yours, if it's in my power to give."

Ukyo looked confused. "Uh... magical girl...?"

"Our friend's a lunatic," Tomari said cheerfully. "But she's a _harmless_ lunatic..."

"Well," Ukyo said, "it's like this. Ranma is... my friend... and _more _than that. But now that she's transferred to St. Hebereke's, I'm afraid I won't get to see_ her_ as often as I'd like. I'd transfer to St. Hebereke myself, but I simply don't have the kind of family connections you need to get into a school like that..."

"Is that all?" Miyuki asked. "Oh, I can do that, easy. My Mother just has to give the word, and you're in."

"And I could never afford to attend there, even _if_ I were admitted..."

Miyuki frowned. "You... you want us to _pay_ for you to attend school there? That's... well, not a _lot_ of money, in the grand scale of things... but it'd be hard to explain to my Mother..."

Ukyo held up her hands defensively. "Like I said, it's a big request," she said. "Probably too much to ask, I realize. I understand if you can't help me. Maybe someone else can help you girls out... mind you, their information wouldn't be as _good_ as mine..."

"Oh, I didn't say I couldn't do it," Miyuki replied. She went back to typing on her laptop. "Only that it'll be difficult." She paused a moment, then snapped her fingers. "I know! I can list you as a consultant for my magical girl project, and work your tuition into my budget that way. _That_ should work."

Tomari frowned. "Your Mother gives you a 'magical girl project' budget?"

"Well, of course," Miyuki said. "How am I going to design all of those costumes otherwise? Not to mention all of the video!

"Besides," she added, going back to her typing. "like you care. You've got more money than God."

XXX

A massive fist slammed into Ranma's gut. She flew back into the wall of the dojo and crumpled into a heap. She groaned, then got to her feet, cursing.

"Crap! You hit at _least_ as hard as Pantyhose Tarou does in his _cursed_ form!"

Khan the butler had for the moment removed the glamour that disguised him as a human. He had green skin, tusks and small, yellowed oni horns. He was even bigger than he'd seemed when in disguise. He wore a black gi. Ranma wore a black gi. Akane wore a black gi. Black was, in fact, the predominant color in the dojo. When Kohana settled on a theme she went all-out.

"Pantyhose Tarou?" Khan rumbled, settling into a defensive crouch.

"He's another Jusenkyo victim," Ranma said. "Chinese guy, impossibly arrogant. Transforms into a monstrosity. You _don't_ want to know, trust me."

Ranma launched another attack, this time working even harder to avoid Khan's fists. The ogre was nearly as fast as Tarou, too, and quite skilled. It occurred to Ranma that if she needed a new sparring partner, Kohana's butler would be an excellent choice.

Khan landed another blow, sending Ranma flying. _Damn_, she thought. _He's absorbed several shi shi hokudans and hundreds of punches, courtesy of my chestnut fist, and I've barely even slowed him. He's like Ryoga, only faster, stronger, and five times the size!_

Akane sat with Kohana watching the two spar.

"So," Kohana asked, "how was your first day? Apart from Kodachi and most of the school giving you the cold shoulder?"

Akane grimaced. "You noticed that part, did you?"

"Everyone in the school was instructed to ignore you."

"And people listen to Kodachi?"

"It wasn't just her," Kohana said. "It was Shuzuko Satori, Sama Asukai, and several others." She smirked. "But I'm afraid I've never been very good at following orders."

"Satori?" Akane asked. "She was the girl with the katana who fought in front of school this morning."

"That's her," Kohana replied. "Like Kodachi, she's all about family prestige and her family's long line of noble samurai. She's against you because she heard you were poor peasant girls."

"Then who is Sama Asukai?"

"Third richest girl in the school," Kohana said. "Also from a very prestigious family. She's the head princess in a school full of them. Against you for the same reasons, of course. You have to be rich and connected and stuck up to be part of her in-crowd."

Akane raised an eyebrow. "She's the head princess, but only the third richest girl in school? Who're the other two?"

"Well, there's Kaida Genji," Kohana said. "She's considered the second-richest girl in school."

"Really? Kaida Genji? She offered to be our friend. Everybody else was pointedly ignoring us." She paused, and then added, "Which doesn't make any sense. If she's got that much social status..."

"Oh, but she doesn't," Kohana said. "She's considered something of a social outcast despite her family's money and connections because she doesn't hide what she is."

"Who and what she is?" Akane asked, confused.

"She likes girls," Kohana said. "_Only_ girls, really."

Akane's eyes widened in understanding. _"Oh_. One of _those_ girls."

"Yes."

"So then... who's the _richest_ girl in the school?"

"Ah," Kohana said. "That would be me."

XXX

It was nearly dark when the limo pulled up in front of the Satome house. Akane and Ranma got out and thanked Ito.

"We're a bit late," Akane said, as the limo pulled away. "Did you want to skip training, and just go straight to schoolwork?"

"Absolutely not," Ranma said. "_Never_ skip training. Never."

"But we sparred for nearly an hour with Mr. Khan," Akane protested. She rubbed her arm. "He hits _hard_ too."

"He's a big man," Ranma said. "A big _ogre_. I was surprised at how good he was. I want to spar with him again."

The front door was locked. Ranma's mother, it seemed, still wasn't home. Akane dug out her key.

"Kohana seems like a nice girl, once you get past all of the doom and gloom stuff," Ranma said as she followed Akane inside.

"Yeah," Akane nodded, taking off her shoes. "I hate to admit it, but I was really skeptical of her at first. She's pretty weird, but in a nice way."

"Strange how almost the whole school ignores us, but the two richest girls in the entire school immediately offer to be our friends."

"Ah... I wouldn't count on Kaida being much of a friend," Akane said.

"Why not? She seemed like a nice enough girl."

"Yeah, but she probably has ulterior motives," Akane said. "Girls like her usually do."

"Ulterior motives? What are you talking about?"

"Well, she probably wants to become _more_ than friends," Akane said. "She probably is hoping you'll become her _special_ friend. You know."

"I know?" Ranma asked, mystified. "Akane, I have _no_ idea what you're talking about."

"Sheesh, Ranma, get a clue! She wants to hug you and kiss you and... stuff!"

Ranma stood still as comprehension slowly dawned in her face. "You mean that... that girl Kaida Genji..."

"Yes! With _you_."

"She wants to be my fiancé?

"Yes! I mean no! Not _fianc__é_, per se. Just, you know. _Girlfriend._"

"Well, I ain't having any more of _that_," Ranma said. "I'll just tell her that I've already _got_ a 'special friend'. You."

Horror flooded Akane's face. "No! Don't you _dare_ tell her that!"

"But you're my fiancé, right?"

"Not while we're both girls!"

"Oh yeah," Ranma said. "I almost forgot." She rubber her chin, thinking. "Well, I could say that _Ukyo_ is my special friend, or _Shampoo_..."

"Absolutely not!" Akane growled. "Ranma, you don't _have_ a 'special friend'."

"Akane, I know I ain't got a lot of friends, but there's no need to be rude about it."

"Oh, you _idiot!_" Akane yelled and stormed off to her bedroom.

"Geez! What'd I say now?"

Behind her, the door opened. Ranma's mother entered the house.

"Good evening, daughter," Nodoka said, placing her sword upon the mantle. "How was your visit with Kohana?"

"Ah... just fine, mom," Ranma said. "She's a strange girl, but she's nice."

"I"m sorry I had to work late. I picked up something to eat on the way home," Nodoka said. "How does Sukiyaki sound?"

Ranma's face lit up. "Wow, Mom! You gotta ask?"

XXX

Miyuki Goji and her two friends Tomari Honda and Sachiko Nakayama sat in the back of the Honda limo, deep in thought. Miyuki was busy typing on her laptop. Sachiko was drawing in her sketchbook, while Tomari watched Miyuki with concern.

"There," Miyuki said, closing her laptop. "That should just about cover it. Ukyo Kuonji is now listed as my official magical girl consultant, with a salary sufficient to put her through school. All that's left is to have my mother contact the Principal and get the ball rolling on the approval for her to transfer."

"You're going to go through with that?" Tomari asked.

"Of course," Myuki said. "After all, I _promised_. And she _did_ tell us everything she knows about Ranma, so she held up her end of the bargain."

"Yes," Tomari said, "but..."

"I don't actually think she knows _that_ much about magical girls, but she's supposed to be a very good martial artist so I'll consider her a combat specialist. She can, I don't know, advise me on what outfits work well for fighting in and stuff."

She paused to stare out the window.

"She's still in denial," Sachiko said in a low voice.

"I know," Tomari replied, her voice equally low. "Look at her. She's out of it. The poor girl must be completely devastated."

"Understandable," Sachiko said. "After all, who could have ever suspected?"

"That Ranma is really a boy?" Tomari shrugged. "Do we actually _believe_ that story?"

"It _does_ sound strange," Sachiko replied, "but I know it could be true. Remember that, although I haven't learned any of them yet, the Kyoto Shinmei-ryu- _does _involve many chi techniques that some would consider magic..."

"What," Tomari asked, "like splashing someone with water and their gender changes? _That_ kind of magic?"

"No," Sachiko said, "of course not. Not that I've ever seen, anyway. But such things are said to exist..."

"I'm having a hard time believing this," said Tomari. "But Ukyo seemed pretty adamant."

Sachiko nodded. "It would explain all of the mysteries about the two Ranmas and why there are no records of girl Ranma at all."

"Yes, that's true," Tomari agreed.

"Your sister believes in magic, doesn't she?" Sachiko asked.

Tomari rolled her eyes. "Oh, she says a lot of things. She claims to summon demons and cast spells, but I've never seen it." "She has this fire trick that she does with her hands. I've never figured out exactly how she does it."

They stared at Miyuki again in silence. Their friend continued to stare out the window, lost to the world.

"Totally in shock," Tomari said.

"Her dreams of befriending a magical girl are dashed yet again," Sachiko said.

Miyuki blinked, then focused on the other two. "Huh? Did you say something?"

Tomari shrugged. "I said, I guess this destroys the whole magical girl thing, huh?"

Miyuki blinked. "Why would it do that?"

Tomari raised an eyebrow. "Because Ranma isn't a girl?"

Miyuki's eyes lit up. "I _know_. Isn't it amazing?"

'Sachiko and Tomari stared at their friend for a long moment.

"You think it's _amazing_?" Tomari asked.

"Oh my gosh!" Miyuki exclaimed. "Are you _kidding_? She transforms! _She does a transformation sequence!_ How much more magical girl can you get?" There was another long pause while Miyuki's two friends absorbed this statement.

"Ah," said Tomari, "there's no actual _transformation sequence_, as such. At least, based on what Ukyo said. Just, one second he's a guy, the next he's a girl. That sort of thing."

"Right," said Sachiko. "And his clothes don't transform with him."

Miyuki waved a hand in a dismissive manner. "Minor details, minor details," she said. "Actually, it's _better_ that way. Sakura's clothing didn't transform either, that's what Tomoyo was there for. And that's what Ranma has _me_ for."

"But still," Tomari said, "she's not actually a girl. She's a boy."

"And?" Miyuki stared at her friend in confusion. "What's the problem?"

"Well..." Tomari said. "How can you have a magical girl who's really a boy?"

Miyuki rolled her eyes. "Is _that_ your big concern?" she asked. "Tomari, if you think a boy transforming into a magical girl is somehow weird and wrong, you simply don't know the genre well enough. Admittedly, boys becoming magical girls is more often seen in fan stories and amateur manga, but I've got _tons_ of examples if you really want to see them..."

"Oh no, that's okay," Tomari said.

Miyuki grinned. She hugged herself. "This is _so exciting_!" she exclaimed. "Didn't I tell you? Didn't I? _Ranma's it! _ A boy that transforms into a girl! Ranma is the _perfect _magical girl!"

XXX

Ranma had been good at her word. Practice was _not_ skipped. Akane, already sore from sparring with a seven-foot-tall demi-human, was now _twice_ as sore, after going multiple rounds with a girl who, despite being the smaller of the two, landed punches several magnitudes harder than said ogre.

Little did Akane know that her _biggest_ contest had yet to begin. Now she stood outside the bathroom door and tried to reason logically with Ranma's mother. It was like arguing with a brick wall -- a very _stubborn _and_ unimaginative_ brick wall.

"But you're both girls, aren't you?" Nodoka said. "You have your magic soap, don't you, Ranma?"

"Yes, Mother." Ranma sighed.

. "But," Akane said, "it's... it's _perverse_."

"Now, Akane, it's nothing of the sort. Ranma is your sister, right?"

"Well... _sort_ of..."

"You'd have no problem bathing with your other sisters, Nabiki or Kasumi, would you?"

"I... no, but... but that's _different_!"

"How so?"

"Because Ranma is... she's a..." Akane's voice trailed off.

"Geez Mom, Akane's not supposed to _marry_ Nabiki after they graduate. _That's_ the difference!"

Nodoka frowned. "Ranma, you promised to live with me as my daughter and to dress and act appropriately -- meaning as a girl. Is this not true?"

Ranma nodded. "Yes, Mother, that's true."

"And you, Akane, promised to treat Ranma as a normal girl, isn't that true?"

"I... yes."

"I know this may be hard, but while you live under my roof and attend school at St. Hebereke, you two are to treat each other as sisters. That includes doing things that normal sisters would do, including not being afraid to bathe together. Do I make myself clear?"

XXX

Akane faced one wall. Ranma faced the opposite wall. The sound of water dripping echoed loudly in the silence of the bathroom.

Ranma sighed, grabbed her bar of special soap, and began to lather up.

"Don't you dare turn around," Akane warned.

"Why would I want to?" Ranma shot back. "It's not like seeing you naked turns me on or nothin'."

"Ranma!" Akane spun and hit her fiancee over the head with a bath barrel. "You jerk!"

"Hey!" Ranma yelled. "If _I_ can't turn around, then _you_ can't turn around!"

"That's different," Akane said. "I'm a girl – and don't start in about how you're a girl too, now, you _know_ what I mean, I've _always_ been a girl! Seeing naked girls is okay _because_ I'm a girl!"

"You had less of a problem with this during gym," Ranma pointed out.

"That's different too," Akane replied.

"How so?"

"Because it's school. It can't be avoided. _This_ could be avoided."

"Not as long as Mom's in charge," Ranma said.

"This is completely _wrong_. I don't know why she doesn't understand that."

"Mom's pretty stubborn," Ranma said. She rinsed off and stood up. "I don't think she's going to change her mind, so we better get used to it."

"What are you doing?" Akane asked.

Ranma said, "I'm done washing. I'm getting in the tub."

"Wait!" Akane exclaimed.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you staring at me naked, you perv!" Akane growled. "At least let _me_ get in the water first!"

Ranma sighed. "Are we going to go through this every night? Because it's going to get seriously old seriously fast."

"Well," Akane said. "You got a better idea?"

XXX

After dropping Miyuki and Sachiko off, Ito drove the limo back to the Honda estate.

"Thank you, Ito," Tomari said, getting out. "You're of great help, as usual."

"It is my job, Miss Tomari," the driver replied.

"Yes, but it's still appreciated," Tomari said.

She went up the steps to the front door. It opened as she reached it.

"Thanks Khan," Tomari said to the towering butler.

Tomari's sister Kohana was standing there in the entryway. "Welcome home, Sister," she said. "Where have you been this eveing? Off on another of Miyuki's wild goose chases?"

"Yes, that's right," Tomari replied, "but this one turned out to be more than that."

"Oh? Do tell."

"We were looking into the past of Ranma Saotome," Tomari said. "You know, one of the two new girls at school."

"Yes," Kohana said. "I ate lunch with her and Akane today."

"She's Miyuki's latest obsession, as you already know," Tomari said. Kohana nodded.

The two sisters strolled into the library, where the maid Nami waited with tea. She poured a cup for each of them.

"Thank you, Nami," Tomari said.

"Any time, Miss Tomari," the maid replied.

"So, Ranma," Kohana said, settling into her high-backed chair. "You looked into Ranma's past. Did you find any skeletons in her closet? Does our martial artist friend have any deep secrets that she would rather keep hidden?"

"More than you could possibly know," Tomari said with a smile.

"Oh?" Kohana replied. "You have such little faith in your elder sister and her powers of observation. Remember, Tomari dear, I _am_ a witch."

"Yes, yes, but even _your_ witchcraft could never have anticipated this."

Kohana raised an eyebrow. "Again I said, you have far too little faith. Try me."

Tomari sat back, eyeing her sister. "Well, if you're so clever, why don't _you_ tell _me_ what we discovered tonight."

Kohana inclined her head. "As you like," she said. She placed a finger to her forehead. "Let me see... I would say that you discovered that Ranma trained with her father in China..."

"Yes. We already knew that."

"And while there, they visited many strange and unusual training grounds..." Kohana continued.

"Yes, that's right," Tomari replied.

"Including, if I'm not mistaken, the training ground of Jusenkyo, a place of many cursed springs."

Tomari's eyes grew wide. 'Uh... yes, that's also correct."

"While there, poor Ranma fell into a cursed pool," Kohana said.

Tomari frowned. "You know the whole story, I take it?"

"Now, now," said Kohana, "it's only my powers of observation..."

"Of course it is, Sister Dear. Then you know that Ranma is cursed to transform into a boy?"

"I know nothing of the sort," Kohana replied.

"My mistake," Tomari said. "So much for your powers of observationl..."

"In fact," said Kohana, "I believe it to be the _other_ way around. Ranma is a boy who is cursed to transform into a girl."

There was a long silence. Kohana added, "Did I guess correctly?"

"How did you know all that?" Tomari asked, eyes narrowing.

"Tomari, Tomari, your elder sister has _many_ methods of gathering such information..."

"I'm sure you do," said Tomari. "But that wasn't a guess. You got that directly from Ranma, didn't you?"

The ghost of a smile drifted across Kohana's lips. "I do confess, she and Akane were my guests here this evening. We spoke of many things..."

Tomari looked more surprised. "Your guests? You invited them over?"

"Indeed." Kohana sipped her tea. Her face was as expressionless as usual, but Tomari could read her sister better than anyone else alive. Kohana was feeling smug and self-satisfied at the moment.

"Mind you," Kohana added, "I really shouldn't be talking to you about these things; I saw sworn to strict secrecy. But since you already _knew_..."

"We were sworn to secrecy as well," Tomari replied.

"Oh? Who by?"

"Ukyo Kuonji," Tomari said.

Kohana raised an eyebrow. Tomari smiled. "You don't know _who_ Ukyo is, do you?" she said, smirking. "It seems Ranma did not tell you _everything_..."

"It was only an hour's conversation or so," Kohana replied. "You can not learn someone's entire life in that time. So, who is Ukyo Kuonji?"

Tomari sipped her tea and said nothing.

"You aren't going to tell me?"

"I was sworn to secrecy, as I said, Sister Dear," replied Tomari. "In any case, you _are_ a witch of many resources, as you keep reminding me. Surely you can figure it out on your own."

"As you wish," said Kohana. "That I shall."

"Or you'll just ask Ranma," said Tomari.

"That _is_ a legitimate avenue of inquiry," said Kohana.

"Indeed," her sister agreed. "So much for your claims to being a great witch."

"Now, now," said Kohana, "do not disparage my methods. A simple question is often the best way to learn what you want to know. It takes a clever witch to know when to not be so clever. That's _headology_, you know."

"Yes, if you say so," Tomari replied.

"I do."

Tomari sighed. "But poor Miyuki. When she hears that you invited Ranma and Akane over before _she_ could do so, she is_ not _going to be in a good mood..."

XXX

Ranma dressed in her pajamas and crawled into bed. She rolled over and looked up at the ceiling.

A black-haired girl stared down at her, clinging to the ceiling by her fingers and toes. She wore a green leotard, grasped a large mallet, and had a black rose clenched in her teeth.

"Kodachi?" Ranma asked. "Jeez, what are you..."

Kodachi dropped, mallet swinging. Ranma flipped out of bed, landing on her feet in a battle stance. The mallet flattened Ranma's pillow. "Kodachi, what gives?" Ranma growled. "It's late! I ain't got time for this!"

"Revenge knows not day or night," Kodachi replied, swinging the mallet again. Ranma blocked it.

"Gods, this again?" Ranma retorted. "I _told_ ya, I didn't steal Ranma from you, 'cause there _is no_ other Ranma to steal! I _am_ Ranma! Got it?"

"This has nothing to do with the love of my life!" Kodachi exclaimed. "Although that is just _another_ of the many sins to be laid at your doorstep. This has to do with those horrible, evil lies that you said at school today about my Father!"

Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Lies? All I did was tell the truth..."

"They were lies, lies, lies!" Kodachi yelled. "Libel and slander and vicious rumors! My father is a noble and decent man, descended from a long line of samurai..."

"He's a fruitcake," Ranma replied.

"Liar! See how you lie!"

"Ranma?" Akane asked, pulling aside the curtain that separated her half of the room. "Kodachi? Do you two mind?"

Kodachi backhanded the mallet at Akane, who kicked it out of the gymnast's hands. "Hey, I'm trying to sleep here!" Akane growled. "Could you possibly wait until morning to do this?"

"It's not my fault!" Ranma exclaimed.

"Sure, Ranma," Akane said. "It's _never_ your fault."

"Well, it _isn't,_" Ranma insisted.

The door opened, and Nodoka Satome stood in the bedroom entrance. She took in the scene with narrowed eyes. "Akane? Ranma?" she asked. "And... Miss Kuno? Why are you girls shouting at this time of night? You should all be in bed."

"_I_ wasn't shouting," Akane said.

"For once," Ranma muttered.

Akane's eyes flashed with anger. "And what's _that_ supposed to mean?" she asked, her voice raising.

"Saotome-Sensei!" Kodachi said with surprise. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"This is my home, Miss Kuno," Nodoka replied. "I live here. And I will _not_ allow you to fight my daughters in my house, on a school night no less! Shouldn't you be home studying?"

"I finished all of my homework before heading out," Kodachi said. "Naturally."

"Never-the-less, it is very late. You should be getting to sleep"

"Your daughter has wronged me! She has besmirched my family name! I must be avenged!"

."I see. Nevertheless, fighting in someone's home is very unladylike, is it not?"

Kodachi paused. "Yes, Saotome-Sensei," she said, bowing. "It was very rude of me. I apologize."

Ranma smirked. There were some good points to being the Vice Principal's daughter, after all.

"Very good," Nodoka said. "I hope we've learned our lesson here."

"Yes, Ma'am. No fighting on a school night, and not in someone's house."

"That is correct," Nodoka said. "Now, a formal challenge, with a date set for a non-school day in an open venue is the appropriate way to pursue this."

The smirk on Ranma's face froze. Her eyes grew wide. "Now wait a second!" she yelled. "I don't _want_ to fight her!"

"Nonsense," Nodoka said. "It's the duty of a martial artist to respond to any and all challenges."

"Of course, Saotome-Sensei is correct," Kodachi said. She turned to face the redhead. "Miss Ranma Saotome, I challenge you to a fight this coming Saturday afternoon precisely at Noon."

"No way!"

Nodoka frowned. "What my daughter means to say, Miss Kuno, is that she accepts your challenge..."

To Be Continued


	13. Chapter 13

**Girl's School**

**Chapter Thirteen**

"No way!"

"Way."

"No way!"

"Way."

"No way!"

"Way."

Miyuki Gojo stared at her friend Tomari Honda. "So what you're saying is, while we were out doing our research, your sister went behind our backs and befriended Ranma and Akane?"

It was morning, and the two were just outside the gates of St. Hebereke's School for Girls.

"I don't know about going behind our backs," Tomari said, "but she invited them over to our place for several hours."

"My new best friend? On her very first day at school? Before _I've_ had a chance to do that?"

Tomari's eyes narrowed. "Tell me, does Ranma actually _know_ she's your new best friend yet?"

"Maybe not just _yet_," Miyuki said. "It's a work in progress, you know. But – this!" She paused, handing two bento lunches to her friend. "Hold these a moment?" she asked.

"Sure," Tomari replied.

Hands freed, Miyuki clutched her chest. "I've been struck through the heart!" She spun slowly about, then collapsed into the grass beside the school gate. She stared up at her friend through half-lidded eyes. "Tomari," she whispered, "I fear I am done for. Please, you must go on without me. You must live, so that my sacrifice is not in vain."

Tomari rolled her eyes. "Miyuki, has anyone told you that you're weird?"

"All the time." Miyuki popped back up. "But this... this makes me _soooo _mad!" she fumed. "What if Kohana becomes her best friend before I'm able to? All my plans will be ruined!"

"I really can't see my sister being _anyone's_ best friend..."

"Hey guys!" The third member of their trio, Sachiko Nakayama, glanced down at Miyuki, still sitting in the grass. "What's up?"

"Oh, you know," Tomari said. "The usual hysterics. You don't want to know the details."

Miyuki jumped to her feet. She slammed her fist into her palm. "That's it, then! Ranma simply _must_ come over to my house this very evening!"

Tomari eyed Sachiko.

"Ah. I see what you mean," Sachiko said.

XXX

Ranma and Akane stood before the St. Hebereke school gates.

"Is this really only our second day doing this?" Ranma asked.

Akane nodded. "Yesterday was a long day..."

They were interrupted by a trio of younger girls rushing up to them – two with long black hair, and a third standing between them with short brown hair tied with a yellow bow.

"Saotome Sempai!" the middle one exclaimed, bowing and thrusting out her hands, where she held a wrapped bento lunch. "Please accept this humble gift from me."

"Good morning, Miyuki, Tomari, Sachiko," Ranma said, taking the lunch. "Is this going to be a regular thing?"

"For the foreseeable future, yes," Tomari said.

"Miyuki, you really don't need to..." Akane began.

"No, no, I must!" Miyuki exclaimed, waving her hands. "I insist! It's the least I could do for my new friend!"

Nearby, a girl's voice rang out. "Let me pass!"

"We shall not, Miss Satori," a man replied. "For it has been said: the one that shall defeat you shall be allowed to _date_ you."

"Never!" the girl replied. "If I must defeat every one of you, then so be it!"

The other girls glance to the school gates, where a young girl with a bokken was viciously thrashing a large group of young men in black suits to piercing cries of "Strike! Strike!"

"Oh, look," Ranma said. "It's katana girl again."

"Shizuko Satori, you mean," Tomari said.

"Yeah, her."

"She's good," Sachiko said.

"But not better than _you_, Sachiko," Miyuku replied smugly.

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Is that true?"

Sachiko shrugged. "I've never fought here before."

"But the outcome of such a fight is obvious," Tomari's older sister Kohana said. Ranma flinched – once again, Kohana had managed to simply _appear_ right behind her. How did she do that?

"Sachiko is a member of the Shinmei Ryu school of sword fighting," Kohana continued. "One of their better students, even. I'd be surprised if Miss Satori could hold a candle to her."

"Is that so?" Ranma studied Sachiko critically.

"Do not discount Satori Sempai," Sachiko replied. "She's very talented."

Moments later, having defeated all of her opponents, Shizuko Saatori turned and pointed her bokken directly at Ranma. "You! New girl!"

"Me?" Ranma asked.

"Yes, you!" the girl demanded. "What is your name?"

"Uh... Ranma Saotome."

"Well, Miss Ranma Saotome," Shizuko said. "Do you think you can go around telling everyone what a great martial artist you are, just because you managed to defeat Kodachi Kuno?"

Ranma blinked. "Huh? I ain't been telling nobody nothin'."

"Liar!" Shizuko called out. "You claim to be a better combatant that even myself!"

Miyuki bristled. "Saotome Sempai can defeat you with both of her hands bound behind her back!"

Shizuko sniffed. "A peasant girl like her? Not likely!"

'Miyuki," Ranma said, "you're really not helping here..." She turned back to Satori. "Look," she said. 'I'm sorry, but I never even_ heard_ of you before yesterday..."

"Liar!" Shizuko yelled.

Ranma frowned. "Would you stop saying that?"

"You cannot hope to lay claim to the title of greatest fighter at St. Hebereke's until you have defeated me!" the katana girl declared.

"Right. I am _so_ outta here..." Ranma muttered. She tried to enter the school gate, but Shizuko moved to block her path.

"Look," Ranma said, "katana girl, whatever your name was, I don't care. You want to be the best warrior in the school? Fine by me. I'm just here to study..."

"Liar!"

Miyuki Gojo leaped forward, stabbing an accusing finger at katana girl. "So! You challenge the great Ranma to a duel?"

"Indeed I do!" Shizuko said.

"No, she doesn't..." Ranma began.

Miyuki barked out a near-maniacal laugh. "You fool! You've fallen for one of the classic blunders! The _first_ one is never get involved in a land war in Asia! But only _slightly_ less well known is this: Never go in against a Magical Girl when _love_ is on the line!"

For a long moment, everyonei stared at Miyuki. "That... that makes no sense whatsoever," Shizuko replied. "Who _are_ you, anyway?"

"I am the magical girl's best friend!" Miyuki declared.

"Magical girl?" Ranma echoed. "Miyuki, I..."

"Ranma," Akane said, "I thought you were going to avoid fights like this. I thought the idea of starting at a new school was to act _normal._" She looked her supposed fiancé over and added under her breath, "For a given value of normal, anyway."

"Hey," Ranma said, "I ain't the one issuing challenges here!"

"Very well! I accept your challenge!" said Shizuko. "The battle shall commence Thursday after school!"

"No fighting on a school day," both Ranma and Akane chimed in automatically.

"Very well then! Saturday, on the football field, at Noon!"

"I've got a rematch with Kodachi at Noon," Ranma said.

Shizuko bristled. "Who do you think is more important? Kodachi Kuno, or me?"

"Well... _neither_, to be honest..." Ranma said. "Look, if you can make it for 2 PM..."

"But you have already defeated Kodachi Kuno, have you not?" Shizuko asked.

Instantly Kodachi Kuno was bounding over the school wall, a trail of black roses swirling in her wake. "Lies! They're all lies! This red-haired harridan has _never_ defeated me!"

"Oh ho ho!" Shizuko laughed. "Miss Kuno, are you _really_ denying it? The whole school is witness to your humiliation!"

"Liar!" Kodachi yelled.

"She beat you quite handily; I saw it myself," Shizuko said. "All while playing by your own weird, twisted rules too."

Anger flared in Kodachi's eyes. "The rules of Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics, as approved by the worldwide governance board, were strictly followed!"

"Indeed.," Shizuko replied. "And you_ still_ lost."

"Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics has a worldwide governance board?" Ranma asked. Even as she spoke, Akane grasped her by the shoulders and propelled her through the front gate. "Just keep walking," she said. "Let them argue. We need to get to class, before..."

Akane and Ranma paused before the front doors to the school itself. There, on the steps, stood a familiar person dressed in a St. Hebereke school uniform. This presented an odd sight since the person wearing it was quite obviously _not_ a girl.

"Who's _that_?" someone behind them asked.

Akane's hands went to her mouth in horror. "Kuno?" she squeaked.

"Kuno?" Ranma echoed. "What the heck are you doing here? And where did you get that dress?"

The other girls had followed Ranma and Akane into the school yard. "Well," Kohana said. "This is certainly interesting..."

The cross-dressed samurai boy threw his arms wide. "Akane Tendo! Pig-tailed Girl! It is I, Tatewaki Kuno, your Noble Knight in Shining Armor..."

"That's not shining armor," Ranma said. "That's Kodachi's uniform... which doesn't really fit you by the way."

"Indeed," Kuno said, "I have come here wearing these shameful garments, for I knew I must see the two of you again..."

Akane put her hand to her temple. "Shameful doesn't _begin_ to cover it."

"Aw man," Ranma said, "_Why_ can't I just have a normal school day for once in my life?" She took a step forward. "Right. This won't take long..."

"No fighting!" Akane said quickly.

Ranma paused. She glanced back at Akane. "Just one punch?" she pleaded.

"What would your mother say?"

Ranma sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Okay then."

Ranma paused as if gathering her strength. She turned away momentarily. When she spun back around, her face radiated joy. Ranma ran to Kuno like a lost puppy spotting its master. "Kuno Sempai!" she exclaimed.

"Pig-tailed Girl!" Kuno replied, embracing her.

Akane's eyes bugged out. Kuno... and Ranma... _hugging?_ "Ranma?" she squeaked.

Ranma leaned against the samurai boy's chest. She ran a finger along his upper arm. "Kuno Sempai," she said, "you know what I like better than anything? A boy who studies hard and gets good grades."

"Then I am the man you seek," Kuno replied promptly.

"No," Ranma said, "for I despise men who would leave his own studies merely to see a girl at another school, and interrupt her studies..."

"You must forgive me, Pigtailed Goddess, for it is naught but my burning love for you that compels me to seek you out in the middle of the school day!"

"And I especially despise cross-dressers..." Ranma said.

"Then you share my loathing for that despicable sorcerer Saotome!"

Ranma frowned. Pulling back, she looked Kuno up and down. "Did you forget what you were wearing?" she asked. "Is any of this getting through, lover boy?"

Kuno glanced down at the ill-fitting girl's uniform he wore. Light dawned in his face. "Oh! Forgive me my love! If this scrap of cloth doth offend thee, then away with it!"

Kuno tore the dress from his body and flung it away. In moments he stood there, wearing only his boxing shorts.

"Now, my beautiful one, let nothing more come between us! Feel the depth of my love for you!" He sprung forward, embracing Ranma in a fierce hug.

_POW!_ With one solid punch, Ranma sent Kuno flying over the school wall.

"Sorry, Akane," Ranma said, looking somewhat ill. "There's only so much I can take..."

"Quite understandable," Akane replied. "But you'd think you'd learn by now, Ranma. Kuno doesn't understand logic. Talking to him gets you nowhere."

"Well, if I can't _talk_ to him, and I can't _hit_ him..."

Akane shrugged. Behind them, just outside the school walls, there was a sudden wave of excited schoolgirl chatter.

"Oh. Look! It's Kodachi's brother, Tatewaki Kuno-Sempai!"

"Eeeek! It is! It's him!"

"Oh, he's so _dreamy..._"

As Ranma and Akane headed to class, Ranma muttered, "You mean they_ really_ didn't recognize him in that goofy disguise?"

XXX

Ranma came to a stop in the hallway.

"Know what?" Ranma said. "I'm gonna go report that idiot."

Akane blinked. "You are? Why?"

"Because," Ranma said, "this school isn't run by Pineapple Head. They might actually _do_ something."

"Ranma, the Vice Principal is your _mom_. I hate to say this, but running to her is _not_ going to make you popular with other students."

"Nobody likes us anyway," Ranma said. "'Sides, that's the _point_. If I don't say something, someone else will, and then I'll be in hot water for fightin' and I'll completely miss the chance to give _my_ side of the story."

"And that is?"

"Kuno was dressed like a pervert and hitting on girls, he attacked me and I defended myself." Ranma smirked. "I don't even hafta make anything up, when you think about it."

Akane sighed. "True," she said, "but class is about to start. Can't it wait?"

"Nah. Don't worry, I'll be just a minute."

Moments later Akane entered their home room. "Good morning everyone!" she called out.

Silence greeted her. In fact, there had been conversations going on _before_ she'd opened the door, but now they'd all stopped. Everyone was very clearly not looking her way or saying anything at all.

Akane's chest tightened. How long were the other girls going to act this way? Was it just because she was poor? She sat down and stared at her desk top. True, she'd never worried about being popular before, but then, she'd never needed to. Before Ranma, Akane had been the best martial artist and all-around athlete of all the girls at Furinkhan High. She'd _always_ made friends easily, just by being herself.

Now, it seemed, being her usual friendly self wasn't going to win her any friends. What could she do?

"Problems?"

Akane glanced up. A tanned girl with bleach-blonde hair and super model looks was just sitting down next to her.

"Good morning, Kaida," Akane said.

"Don't let these jerks get to you," Kaida said. "You're cuter when you smile."

Akane blushed, both flustered and annoyed. "Listen, Kaida," she said. "I _know_ why you want to be friends with Ranma and I, and... I'm just not comfortable with it."

Kaida raised eyebrow. "Oh? Kohana told you stories about me?"

"Something like that, yes."

"Well, I can assure you, they're all true." Kaida grinned. "But really, that's beside the point. Can't we be friends? Right now, you could use a few friend or two, couldn't you?"

XXX

The morning passed in the usual haze of lectures and schoolwork assignments. Ranma was trying much harder to pay attention and study, but it wasn't as if schoolwork magically became more interesting as a result. She'd been a male student at an all-boy's school, a sometimes-male, sometimes-female student at a co-ed school, and now a strictly female student at an all-girl's school. It didn't matter – it _still_ bored her to tears.

Ranma and Akane were still being ignored by most of the school. Kohana said hello to them, and the strange girl Kaida did as well. Everyone else pretended as if they didn't even exist.

Lunch came, and Ranma welcomed it with open arms. Once again, she had two bentos to devour – one from her mother, and one from that weird girl. Miyuki, she'd discovered, was a very good cook – and her mother, of course, was the _best_ cook. Life at her new school was good.

Ranma and Akane found a place on the front lawn to eat. They were soon joined by another girl – not, as Ranma had expected, Kohana or Miyuki, but Kaida Genji, the tall ko-gal with the tanned skin and long, blonde hair, who had stood up for them against Kodachi the day before.

"Good day, Ranma, Akane," Kaida said. "Would you mind if we join you?"

"We?" Ranma asked.

"My friends will be here momentarily," Kaida said.

Ranma shrugged. "Feel free. Nobody else around here wants to."

"Yes," Kaida said, sitting down. "All thanks to Suma and her ilk."

Akane watched warily.

"I thought it was Kodachi," Ranma said.

"Kodachi Kuno, Suma Asukai, Shizuko Satori, Asuka Saginomiya – it hardly matters. They're all the same in the end. This school is a nest of vipers. It pays to know who your friends are."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Like... you?"

"I'd like that," Kaida said. "Although Akane here has reservations..."

Ranma glanced to Akane. "Really? Why?"

"She's allergic to having girls drool on her shoes," said Kohana Honda. Ranma flinched – _again_ the witch girl had simply appeared out of nowhere. How did she keep doing that anyway? She was going to have to teach that trick to Ranma...

"Well, if it isn't the rich little ghoul girl!" Kaida said cheerfully. "How are you this day, Kohana?"

"Still wealthier than you," Kohana deadpanned, sitting down.

Kaida laughed. "So, drooling on other girl's shoes? I'm not _that_ obvious, am I?"

As she spoke, two more girls approached.

"Yes, you are," one said.

"Very obvious," the other agreed.

"Shut up you two," Kaida replied. Ranma, Akane, I want you to meet my two best friends, RinTokudaiji and Akela Leilani."

Rin was a tall and very pretty girl with her hair tied into a long waist-length braid. Akela was short and stocky, nearly as muscular as Akane. She had dark skin and curly black hair.

"Rin's into motorcycles and racing," Kaida said, "and Aleka is into sports, especially rugby."

"Nice to meet you," Rin said, bowing.

"Yeah. Same," Akela added. She flopped down in the grass and opened her bento.

"Rugby?" Ranma said. "That's a pretty rough sport, isn't it?"

'Yeah," Akela said with obvious enthusiasm. "Not a sport for sissies, that's for sure."

There was a long stretch of silence, in which the three new girls seemed to stare at Ranma. She squirmed, wondering if there was something wrong with her face. Then, apparently remembering something very important, Ranma blurted, "Look, Akane and I aren't _special_ friends, got it? That's very important."

Akane's palm slapped into her forehead.

Kaida raised an eyebrow. "You're not?"

"No," Ranma said. "Or Ukyo or Shampoo either."

Akane buried her face in her palms. "_Ranma..."_ she growled, low and menacing.

The three other girls exchanged knowing glances.

"So," Kaida asked, "who are Ukyo and Shampoo?"

"Ah..." Ranma was beginning to sweat. She wished lunch would hurry up and be over, or that Akane would at least help her out here. They're.. um... extra fianc... that is... they're just these two girls that... well, used to chase after me... and stuff."

Only a very perceptive person might have noticed the flicker in Kohana's eyes as she took in this new information. She opened her bento – once again, very decorative with an overall Halloween-like theme – and ate in silence.

Kaida's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? You've had," she glanced at Akane, "_three_ girls who were after your affections?"

"Well, _more_ than three, of course," Ranma said. "Kodachi was the fourth -- and there were others. But Akane, Ukyo, and Shampoo, those were the main ones."

Kaida, Rin, and Akela looked shocked. Akane's face was flushed, and her fists were clenched. She looked, in fact, as if she were trying, by sheer will alone, to teleport to the far side of the school grounds.

"Kodachi?" Kaida said, her voice dry. "I could have sworn she wasn't like that... I mean, I thought she hated you because... well, you defeated her in that rhythmic gymnastics match...?"

"Well yeah, but... there's more to it than that," Ranma said. "She's in love with my guy side, so she hates my girl side. She thinks we're two different people, same as her brother."

Kaida looked confused. "Your... _guy_ side?"

XXX

Miyuki Goji devoured her food like a ravenous animal. Her friends watched in fascination, although they'd seen this behavior before. Typically it meant that Miyuki was so focused on other things that actually _tasting_ her food was An afterthought.

"I could not believe my ears this morning," Miyuki exclaimed, setting her empty bento box down. "It's all I could think about in class. It's the most amazing thing ever!"

"Most amazing thing ever? No, let me guess," Tomari said. "Magical Princess Minky Momo has teamed up with Sally the Witch and Wedding Peach, and they're battling youma from the Dark Kingdom right here on campus."

"No, of course not!" Miyuki replied. She paused, and added, "Granted, that _would_ be incredibly awesome... but I mean that Ranma's going to fight Kodachi!"

Tomari stared at her friend. "Yes? Shizuko Satori, too, apparently. And?"

"And? And? Don't you see?"

"Let's assume I don't," Tomari said. "Didn't Ranma and Kodachi fight just _yesterday_? In the middle of lunch period. We all saw it."

"This is _completely_ different!" Miyuki exclaimed. "That was just an... an impromptu skirmish. I had _no_ warning beforehand, I had_ no_ way of being prepared. But this time, they've scheduled the fight – Saturday at Noon!"

"Yes, I heard," Tomari said, still not quite following her deranged friend's logic. "I was there, remember? And that means... what? You'll be _prepared_ to watch them fight?"

"Not just watch, silly! _I'm_ there as support. Remember?" Miyuki slammed her fist into her palm. "Oh, this is going to be so cool!" she said exclaimed. "At last! It's my big moment! Here it begins! The first battle for my best friend the magical girl!"

Tomari blinked in confusion. She glanced to Sachiko, who was absorbed in a drawing.

"No offense," Tomari said, "but Kodachi Kuno is not exactly an evil youma or black moon member."

"She's close, though," Miyuki said. "You have to admit _that_ much. I mean, she's not right in the head, that girl."

"I'm sure you would know," Tomari agreed. "But be realistic here. We're not talking a magical girl battle of good versus evil. We're talking two schoolgirls fighting it out in an open field. There's a big difference, you know -- for one thing, the fate of universe isn't at stake. Or even the fate of most of the school. Or, for that matter, not even the love of one boy."

"Hey," Miyuki said, "It's not as if I can wait for aliens from the dark moon to show up. I've got to make my magical girl encounters out of what's at hand. Ranma's fighting Kodachi this Saturday, and I'm going to be there to make sure she's dressed appropriately!"

"Ah. And I'm sure you've discussed this with Ranma, right?"

"Not just _yet,_" Miyuki admitted. "But she can hardly say no."

"I've always found it a very easy word to say."

"Well, of course, if I just _told_ her what I was planning," Miyuki admitted. "There's no way she'd go along with it _then_. I have to plan it out first. I need to get closer to her. I've got to earn her trust."

"Miyuki smiled and added, "But that's no problem! I've got the rest of the week to accomplish that."

"Earn her trust? In four days?"

"Sure," Miyuki said. "I"m inviting her over to my place tonight, remember? Now, several people at Furinkan said she loves food... any food."

"I see."

"As always, the way to a man's heart is his stomach. Even when the man in question is a cute magical girl."

Suddenly Miyuki sprang to her feet. 'Oh my gosh! Where's my laptop? I need to research recipes, find out what Ranma likes, call Mr. Watanuki and have him buy the ingredients, buy some sweets at that shop just down the street, get to work on that request for Ukyo Sempai, and... I don't know what else!"

"Invite Ranma over to your house?" Tomari suggested.

"Yes! That too!" Miyuki exclaimed. "Gotta run! Catch you guys later!"

XXX

"Your... _guy_ side?" Kaida asked.

"Yeah," Ranma said. "I'm not always a girl. Sometimes I turn into a guy."

"Ranma," Akane warned, "I don't think you should go around telling people that. Any _more_ people," she added after a moment.

Ranma shrugged. "I thought about it last night, Akane. They're going to find out eventually. That's just how the curse works. If I've learned one thing from Pops, it's that lying only causes more problems later on. Not that he _meant_ to teach me that lesson, but..."

Kaida and Rin were exchanging confused looks. "Uh... curse? You're not just talking about dressing up as a guy, are you?" Rin asked.

"Nah," Ranma said. "I turn _into_ a guy."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Just like that?"

"Yeah," Ranma said. "Instant transformation. It's a magic curse."

Rin rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, Ranma! You don't expect us to believe that, do you?"

"Don't worry, Ranma," Kaida said with a smile, placing her hand on Ranma's knee once again. "I believe you."

"Careful," Rin said. "Kaida will say anything to get on your good side."

"Oh?" Ranma asked. "Why would she do that?" Then, remembering what Akane had said the night before, Ranma asked, "It's because you... like girls?"

"My, how perceptive of you!" Kaida exclaimed. "You don't have a problem with that, do you, Ranma?"

"Uh..." Ranma said, staring at the hand on her knee. "It's not that I _don't_ like girls; I like them ok..."

"Wonderful! I was _hoping_ that was the case."

"But I'm here to study," Ranma said. 'I can't be thinkin' about fiancés until I graduate."

Akane cleared her throat. She stared at Kaida pointedly. After a moment, Kaida place her hand back into her own lap.

"So, you like girls, but schoolwork comes first?" Kaida asked. "That's fine. I'm not predatory or anything..." She paused as her two friends erupted into giggles and added, "You two are _not_ helping here!" Then she continued, "I just like to admire the scenery, you know."

Ranma scanned the horizon. "Well, I guess it's a nice view. Not half as good as what you got in Western China..."

"Kaida, Ranma's _not _a lesbian," Akane said. "Trust me on this."

Ranma looked confused. "What's a lesbian?" she asked.

Akane face-faulted. "Oh, so innocent!" Kaida exclaimed, clapping her hands together in delight.

"A lesbian is a girl who likes other girls," Rin said.

"A girl like you, Ranma," Kaida added.

"A girl like me?"

"Of course!" Kaida said. "Or do you like kissing boys as well?"

Ranma made a face. "Kiss a boy? No way! That'd be sick!"

"I rest my case," Kaida said. She glanced at her friends and added, "I told you so."

"Now wait a second," Akane said. "That's not true! You're making it sound like Ranma's a pervert or something!"

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that what you always call me, Akane?"

Akane's face flushed red. "That's different! That's because you're always groping girls, and..." Her voice trailed off. The other girls exchanged knowing looks.

"But... it's different!"

"Oh, come on, Akane. You like girls too, don't you?" Kaida asked.

"Don't be stupid! I'm no pervert!"

"But it's obvious that you and Ranma have feelings for each other," Kaida replied.

"We do not!" Ranma and Akane yelled in unison.

The other girls laughed. "Oh, come on," Kaida said. "You know what they say: the girl who protests too much has something to hide."

Akane leaped to her feet, yelling, "You girls don't have a clue what you're talking about. Ranma and I are _nothing_ like you! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got better things to do with my time!" She turned and stomped off.

"Oh, she's in denial alright," Kaida said.

"Yep," Rin added. "It's not just a river in Egypt."

"Don't worry, Ranma," Kaida said. "She'll come around."

Ranma blinked. "Are you saying... that Akane likes girls? That she likes me as a girl?"

Kaida raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's a strange way to put it, Ranma, but of course."

"Isn't it obvious?" Rin asked. "Deep down, she has a thing for girls. She just can't admit it yet, even to herself."

Ranma sighed, then stood. "Look, Akane's probably pissed off at me... I'd better catch up to her and apologize..."

XXX

Miyuki skipped around the side of the school. She paused to looked about. She could only see one girl – Akane Tendo, she realized – but the older girl seemed preoccupied and wasn't looking her way.

Miyuki carefully climbed over the wall. Technically St. Hebereke was a closed campus; students weren't supposed to leave during school hours. This did not prevent girls from running down the street to the local sweets shop, or having their parents or house staff from picking them up for lunch by car, or indeed from leaping over the walls and bouncing away laughing maniacally and leaving a trail of black rose petals in their wake whenever the impulse struck them. All the same, Miyuki tried to be circumspect. If certain teachers or administration staff caught her leaving, it would result in a stern lecture at the very least.

Dropping down on the other side, Miyuki dusted herself off, straightened her uniform, and headed down the street.

Seconds later she rounded a corner and ran into three girls in strange uniforms. She tried to step around them, but they moved to block her way. She started to back up. One of the girls grabbed her arm.

"Hey, what gives?" Miyuki exclaimed. "Who are you girls? What are you doing here? Why aren't you in school?"

One of the girls grinned, revealing a badly chipped tooth. "We could ask you the same thing, little girl," she said.

"I _told_ you," another said. "All of the girls around here are rich and stupid. Easy pickings."

XXX

Ranma caught up to Akane on the grassy strip on one side of the school that led from the front lawn to the exercise field and track area in the back. It was clear that Akane was still angry.

"Akane," Ranma said. 'Look, about what I said…."

"I don't want to talk about it!" Akane snapped.

"Aw geez. Look, whatever I did, I apologize!"

"Apologize?" Akane turned and glared at Ranma. "Apologize for what? This isn't your fault!"

"But I..." Ranma began.

"I _said_ I don't want to talk about it!"

Ranma frowned as Akane stalked away. Somehow, she'd screwed up again, and as usual she wasn't even sure _how_. She wanted to follow, to do something, but knew that it was no use until Akane cooled off.

_Dammit!_ Ranma growled. She punched the rock wall beside her. Bits of shattered rock and dust flew into the air and fell to the ground. Ranma blinked, pulling her fist away to reveal a depression in the stone and a spider's web of cracks around the impact point.

_Sheesh_, she thought. _I need to get a hold of myself. Next thing you know I'll be destroying things in a blind rage like pig-boy. Best if I take a walk and cool off._

She walked in the shade beside the wall, then jumped over. Another leap brought her to a nearby rooftop. She strolled to the front of the building and dropped lightly into the street.

She landed in t he middle of a group of girls.

"Saotome Sempai!" one of the girls exclaimed. "Help me!"

Ranma blinked. "Miyuki?" she asked. There were three older girls in unfamiliar uniforms. They looked like seniors -- _old_ seniors, in fact -- the kind that had been pushed back a couple of grades at some point. Delinquents, Ranma realized, from another school – a public school, since private schools like St. Hebereke would kick girls like this out.

One of them had Miyuki by the arms. Another clamped her hand over Miyuki's mouth. Ranma was a poor student of math, English, or geography, but she was an expert student in hostile encounters.

"What are you looking at?" one of the girls demanded.

Ranma shrugged. "You, I suppose."

"Well this is a private conversation so why don't you take a hike?" the girl retorted.

"Doesn't look like a friendly conversation to me," Ranma said.

"Yeah? Well it's none of your business so get lost."

"Miyuki is a friend of mine," Ranma said. "So I'm making it my business."

"Butt out, Princess," another girl warned, "before you get hurt."

Ranma began to crack her knuckles. "Aw man, you three better not be all talk, 'cause I could _really_ use a good fight right now."

She paused, then added, "I just got one question – this isn't on school property, is it? I mean, technically we're not _at_ school, are we?"

To Be Continued


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Ranma had only been trying to cool down, but her off-campus stroll had landed her in the middle of a confrontation between her new friend Miyuki Gojo and three thug-like girls from another school. That was fine with Ranma; she needed to blow off steam, and they weren't, technically, on school property. She'd promised not to fight at school or during school, but if it was in defense of a friend, she could rationalize it.

In typical fashion, Ranma waited for her opponents to move first. She didn't wait long. The one who wasn't restraining Miyuki swung.

It was probably a good punch for a girl, by street fighting standards. To Ranma, it was agonizingly slow. She dodged, stepped inside the girl's swing, and punched her in the gut.

She pulled her punch quite a bit. Even if they were street thugs, they were _girls_, and likely not even trained in martial arts.

The girl crumpled to the pavement. Inwardly Ranma winced. The girl deserved it, of course, and Ranma _was_ in girl form, but...

The other two released Miyuki and came at Ranma simultaneously.

The fight was short – _too_ short. The girls might have been semi-talented street fighters, but they were no match for any Nerima martial artist, let alone Ranma. She had barely worked up a sweat before all three of the older girls were lying on the ground, moaning in pain. Ranma sighed, still awash in pent-up anger and frustration.

"Dammit," she swore. "Where's pig-boy when you really need him?"

Miyuki practically levitated across the sidewalk to enfold Ranma in a fierce hug. "Oh, Sempai!" she exclaimed. "You saved me! I was so _scared_."

"Uh..." Ranma said, helplessly, "you're welcome... it was nothing." In Ranma's world, a girl hugging her meant Akane was about to walk into view.

"Nothing? It was _amazing_!" Miyuki exclaimed "Oh, that was so awesome!"

"They were just three school thugs," Ranma said. "You can let go now..."

"And you rescued me! I can't believe this happened!" Miyuki gushed. "I mean, I _wanted_ it to happen – I was even going to _arrange_ for it to happen – but then, it just _happened_, all on it's own!"

"You were going to what?"

"It must have been fate," Miyuki exclaimed, finally pulling back. "That's it, of course. You're _fated_ to be my best friend!"

"Uh... sure," Ranma said. "If you say so..."

"But how can I _ever_ repay you?" Miyuki asked. Before Ranma could reply, she said, as if the idea had only _just_ occurred to her, "I know! I'll invite you over to my house tonight."

"You don't hafta do that…."

"No, I insist!" Miyuki grabbed Ranma's hands in hers. "You _have_ to come! I won't feel right if I don't repay you for everything you've done for me."

"Really," Ranma said, "it was nothing... it's a martial artist's duty to protect the weak, Pops always said..."

A nearby moan caught Ranma's attention. One of the hooligan girls sat up. She stared at Ranma with a mixture of loathing and fear.

"You're still here?" Ranma asked.

"You hit me!" the girl spat. "You bitch!"

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "We can go for round two if you like," she said.

The girl scrambled backwards, shaking her head. "No, that's fine. We're cool." She turned to her two companions, who were groaning and getting to their feet slowly. "Come on guys, let's get out of here!"

When they were gone, Miyuki began to dance about on the sidewalk like an overstimulated toy poodle. "Oh my God! This is so _perfect_." she exclaimed. "Ranma, you are so _totally awesome_. What magical girl could be more cool than you?"

"Magical girl?" Ranma asked.

"Never mind!" Miyuki said. "We'll talk more after school. I'll meet you at the Vice Principal's office, okay? Be ready! Don't forget!"

Ranma frowned as the strange girl went skipping down the sidewalk. She was used to girls taking an interest in her, but that had always been when she was a guy – and _none_ of them had ever acted anything like Miyuki.

XXX

The end of the school day found Ranma in her mother's office again.

Nodoka Saotome glared at her daughter. "Thirty minutes detention, Daughter," she said. "I'm keeping it short because there _were_ extenuating circumstances."

"Kuno _attacked_ me!"

"So you and Akane said. I believe you, Ranma, but that's not the point. Violence is _never_ the answer. At least, certainly not at school nor during school hours. You _could_ have thought of a better solution."

"Mom," Ranma said. "I _tried_. There's no reasoning with that baka..."

"Language, Daughter!"

"Sorry, Mom, but he really is," Ranma said.

"Well," Nodoka said, "if he's intent on fighting you, then how about a challenge? That seemed to work well with Miss Kuno."

"Yeah, but her brother don't want to fight me. He wants to _kiss_ me." Ranma shuddered.

"Her brother _doesn't_ want to fight me, Ranma. And I am absolutely against you having a cross-dresser as a boyfriend..."

"_Mom!_" Ranma exclaimed. "_He's not my boyfriend! He's a creep who won't leave me alone!_"

"Well, don't worry;" Nodoka said. "He shouldn't bother you again. I called his Principal and gave him a piece of my mind."

Ranma sighed. "Yeah, like that's going to work," she muttered.

"What was that?"

"I said, 'Thanks, Mother,'" Ranma replied. "Oh, and by the way, I got two challenges for Saturday now. Shizuko Satori wants to fight me too."

"Indeed? You will have quite a busy day Saturday then," her mother said. "Do not forget to finish your studies beforehand. I won't let you run off to play with your friends if your schoolwork hasn't been done."

"Yes, Mother."

"Now then," Nodoka said, "Have you thought of a school club to join yet, Dear?"

"What?" Ranma looked surprised. "Ah... no, sorry, I haven't thought about it. I've been busy."

"Remember that you have until Friday," Nodoka replied, standing. "Otherwise I shall pick one for you, and you may not like what I pick. Now, Daughter, I have a conference with some teachers, so you just sit here and think about how you might have better handled your encounter with this Kuno boy."

Nodoka left the room. Several minutes later the office door opened and Akane slipped inside.

"Hey, 'Kane," Ranma said.

"Hey, Ranma," Akane replied. "So... you still got in trouble?"

"Yeah," Ranma said. "But only a little bit. Are you still mad at me?"

Akane flashed a lopsided smile. "I'm not mad at you, Ranma," she said. "I'm just... well, I don't think we should hang around those girls."

"Which girls?"

"The ones we ate lunch with," Akane said. "Kaida, and Rin, and Akela."

"Kaida's been really nice to us," Ranma said. "Her friends seem nice too. Besides, what choice do we have? Everyone else is ignoring us."

"Kohana's our friend," Akane said.

"You said she was weird."

"She _is_ weird. But Ranma," Akane said, an edge creeping into her voice. "Those other girls are... _perverts_."

There was a short pause. Ranma replied. "Well then I guess I fit right in don't I?"

Anger flashed in Akane's eyes. "Ranma, be serious!"

"I _am_ being serious," Ranma replied. "I'm a boy who turns into a girl. Right now I'm dressing in girl's clothes and acting like a girl. What's more perverted than that?"

"That's different," Akane insisted. "These girls... well, they probably all want to... to kiss you... and... you know..."

Ranma nodded. "Yeah, I noticed that."

'You did? Then why didn't you _say_ something?"

Ranma shrugged. "Akane, half the people I know want to have sex with me."

Akane stared at Ranma in shock, which turned slowly to anger. "Ranma, that's not something to be boasting about..."

"I'm not boasting," Ranma said. "It's just the truth. It's kinda creepy, actually..."

Akane's fists clenched. She closed her eyes. She seemed to be counting under her breath. Ranma flinched, reacting to a blow that never came. Then Akane laughed, albeit in a strained manner.

"You say that so nonchalantly, without any trace of pride," Akane said. "You're so clueless sometimes, Ranma. But I guess I am too. I suppose it _is_ true. But this is different. You're a _girl_ now, and these girls like you _because_ you're a girl."

"Does it matter?" Ranma asked. "I've got guys after my girl side, girls after my guy side. After a while it's all the same to me. As long as they're not attacking me or trying to date me, then it's cool."

"No, it's not," Akane said. "Look, how would you react if a guy was after your guy side?"

"Akane, Kuno tried to kiss me this morning. What difference does it make if I'm a guy or a girl?"

"Okay," Akane said slowly. "I guess I can see your point. But if we hang around those girls, then other people will talk."

Ranma nodded. "I suppose."

"I don't want people thinking I'm weird, Ranma!"

"Then you probably shouldn't hang around me, Akane."

"You know what I mean!"

The two girls sat there for a few minutes in silence. Ranma said, "You don't have to wait for me, you know. I told you that Miyuki invited me over to her place."

Akane nodded.

"You don't mind that it's just me?" Ranma asked.

"No, that's fine," Akane said. "Yuka and Sayuri were going to come over again today anyway. You have fun with your new friend."

"Well – I don't know if she's my _friend_ so much…" Ranma said.

"At least I know Miyuki isn't in lust with you," Akane said. "She just... idolizes you, I guess. Young girls are like that sometimes. She probably sees you as a really cool big sister."

"Yeah," Ranma said. "Something like that, I guess."

As if on cue, the door opened and Miyuki Gojo stepped inside. "Ready, Ranma?" she asked.

"Ah... can you wait a bit?" Ranma replied. "'Cause I got thirty minutes detention for fighting on school grounds today..."

"What?" Miyuki exclaimed. "But that wasn't even on campus!"

Akane looked from Ranma to Miyuki. Ranma looked suddenly nervous. "_What_ wasn't on campus?" Akane asked suspiciously.

"Oh my gosh!" Miyuku gushed. "Akane, you'd never believe it! It was _soooo_ cool! Right after lunch I was..."

With the lightning-quick reflexes of a highly trained martial artist, Ranma flew from her chair and clamped one palm over Miyuki's mouth.

"Nothing, nothing!" Ranma said. "I only punched Kuno today, that's it, I swear! That's why I got thirty minutes detention." She locked eyes with Miyuki and added, "Of course, if word got out that I'd done anything _else_, I'd be in a lot more trouble and I wouldn't be allowed to visit anyone's house tonight..."

Miyuki's eyes widened in understanding. Ranma removed her hand.

"If word about _what_ got out?" Akane growled.

"Ah," Miyuki said. She glanced from one girl to the other. "Sorry, Akane. I'd better not say."

Akane sighed in exasperation. "Fine, be that way," she muttered. She headed for the door. "I'm going home. Don't stay out too late, you two."

As Akane passed her, Miyuki whispered, "I'll tell you outside..."

XXX

Twenty minutes later, Ranma Saotome stood with Miyuki Gojo in front of the St. Hebereke school gates.

"Sorry for the wait," Ranma said.

"It's no trouble at all," Miyuki replied.

Ranma looked about. "So... where's the limo?"

"Oh, don't be silly," Miyuki said. "It's not that far. We can walk."

Ranma shrugged. "Fine by me, then." The two set off down the sidewalk.

It was a cool Fall afternoon. A light breeze chased dry leaves across the pavement. The sun warmed the earth, but every day sunset came sooner. The coming of Winter was in the air.

After a moment, Ranma leaped up and began walking on top of the nearby fence.

Miyuki's eyes widened. "Wow. That's cool!"

"Just practice," Ranma said. "If there's one thing Pops was right about, it's that everything can be practice. Walking, eating, everything can be a competition or a chance to practice and improve your skills. If you want to be the best, you gotta practice all the time."

Miyuki nodded. "Around-the-clock training," she said. "That makes sense."

"Yeah. Around-the-clock, and all day too," Ranma said. "So, where are your friends?"

"Sachiko has kendo practice, and Tomari works in the library after school," Miyuki replied.

"Library Club?"

Miyuki nodded. "Yeah, that's it."

Ranma seemed to consider this for a moment.

"Nah," she said. "Sounds boring."

"What do you mean? Tomari _loves_ books."

"Then it's a good club for her," Ranma said. "How about you? Are you in any clubs?"

"Oh – I'm in the 'Go Home Club'."

"That's my favorite," Ranma said, "but Mom won't let me do that anymore."

"Oh?" Miyuki asked. "You have to join a club?"

"Yeah. She says it's an essential part of the school learning experience."

"How odd," Miyuki commented. "So... what one are you going to join?"

"No idea."

"I'd join a club," Miyuki said, "if there was one about magical girls."

Ranma said, "Well, if there ain't one, you could always start one."

Miyuki came to a sudden halt. She blinked.

"Ohmygod!" she exclaimed. "I never even _considered_ that!"

Ranma nodded. "Stands to reason. I'd do that myself, except that I don't know what club I'd be interested in. Martial arts I guess, but school karate clubs are always just baby stuff, and I don't want to run my own club."

Miyuki had a twinkle in her eye. "Oh, don't worry, Ranma – I'm _certain_ we'll find a club that outfits you properly."

Ranma blinked. "Uh.. _outfits_ me?"

Miyuki giggled nervously. "Oops, is that what I said? I meant we'll find one that _suits_ you, of course...

"That reminds me!" Miyuki fished a phone from her purse. "Ranma, what's your cell phone number?"

"Ain't got one," Ranma replied.

Miyuki was aghast. "_What?_ You don't have one? Is that even _possible_?"

"Mom's not rich," Ranma said. "She can't afford to buy me one. For that matter, I've only been living with her for a week. Before that I was living with Pops, and, well, Pops owns even less than Mom. He makes street beggars look like Rupert Murdock, to be honest."

"But... how do you contact your friends?"

Ranma shrugged. "My friends don't have cell phones either."

"Ranma, _I_ have a cell phone and _I'm_ your friend! What if I need to call you? What if... what if I'm attacked by street hooligans again?"

"Yell real loud?" Ranma suggested.

"No!" Miyuki slammed her fist into her palm. "Ok, _before_ we head home, we're stopping at a phone store. Got it?"

"Miyuki, I..." Ranma began, but the girl was already headed off in a new direction. Ranma ran after her.

XXX

"Do you like Sailor Moon?"

Ranma and Miyuki wandered through the aisle of a phone store. On either side of them were rows and rows of cell phone accessories, bits of brightly-colored plastic sealed in more plastic. Ranma yawned. Shopping always bored her. If there was one thing good about all those years on the road with a penniless father, it was that they never had to shop.

"Actually, I'm more into Rei Hino," Ranma said. "You know, Sailor Mars."

"Rei's cool," Miyuki agreed. "This one, then." She grabbed a package and held it out. "See? It's a Sailor Mars cell phone strap!"

"A lanyard," Ranma said.

"A lanyard? What's that?"

"A wrist strap, like on a ski pole," Ranma replied. "It's a sailing term. They use lanyards on ships to keep things from flying all over the place. You know, when the boat's at sea."

"Really?" Miyuki replied. "How do you know that?"

Ranma made a face. "Pops and I hitched rides on boats several times," she said. "We sailed part of the way to China on our trip. He _likes_ to say that we swam the whole way, but that's only partly true..."

"They _really_ ought to have Sailor Moon cell phones," Miyuki complained. "I guess the cell straps -- sorry, the lanyards -- and stickers and stuff will have to do." She paused, then added, "So, who does Akane like?"

"What, you mean Sailor Moon characters?" Ranma shrugged. "I got no idea."

"Well, she _looks_ like Ami, so we'll go with that," Miyuki replied.

Not for the first time, Ranma said, "Miyuki, I _really_ don't think you need to do this. Akane and I have done fine without cell phones up till now. Besides, I'll end up owin' you more money than I ever owed to Nabiki..."

"Nonsense," Miyuki said. "You aren't going to pay me back. This is a favor, to thank you for saving me today. Also so I can call of you, of course! Besides, no high school girl these days should be without one."

She found a Sailor Mercury cell strap and grabbed it, then picked out some Sailor Moon decals. "All rightt!" Miyuki said. "_Now_, the only question is, do they have anything as cool as Sailor Moon cases?"

XXX

At that moment, Akane was sitting in her room. With her were her friends Sayuri and Yuka, whom she'd been expecting. What she had _not_ been expecting was the addition of her sister Nabiki.

"Why _are_ you here, Nabiki?" Akane half-growled.

"I have some things to go through with Mrs. Saotome," Nabiki said. "You know, paperwork and stuff."

"Then... you're really going to transfer to St. Hebereke?" Sayuri asked.

Nabiki smirked. "Looks like it," she said. "It's not final _just_ yet, but that's why I'm here."

"Wow," said Yuka. "_Everyone's_ leaving Furinkhan."

"Yeah," said Sayuri. "All we got left is Kuno and his stupid father."

"And Ukyo," said Sayuri. "Although you have to wonder how long _that's_ going to last."

Nabiki glanced about Ranma's room. "I'm also interested in knowing how Ranchan's doing with the whole girl thing," she said. "We haven't set down what our first challenge is yet, but I'm curious. He's already been a girl for several days -- dressing like a girl, attending school, etc. How's he doing?"

"_She_ is doing just fine," Akane replied, a trifle sourly. She paused, remembering what Miyuki had divulged to her on the school steps. "Except..."

Nabiki plopped down on her bed. "Yes? Please, _do_ go on. Tell me _everything_..."

XXX

As expected Miyuki lived in a house that was huge by Japanese standards, but it wasn't nearly the size of the Honda mansion that Ranma had visited the night before. Still, it was impressive: a Western-style house made partly of brick, with large bay windows on the front. It was surrounded by a well-kept hedge. A stone pathway led between large trees up to the front porch.

A woman with short hair in a formal suit answered the door.

"Good evening, Miss Gojo, and welcome home," the woman said. She spoke with the rich, sonorous voice of one who was highly trained in saying 'good evening' and paid well to do it right. "And this must be your guest. Miss Saotome, is it not? Good evening to you."

"Wow," Ranma said. "You have a female butler!"

"Well, of _course_," Miyuki replied. She smiled at the butler and added, "Good evening, Miss Okomoto. Ranma, if you need anything I'm sure Miss Okomoto can get it for you."

"Indeed," the butler added.

Ranma studied the butler carefully. She _looked_ normal enough.

The girls removed their shoes and set their school bags aside. Miyuki led Ranma to the living room.

"Tell me, Miyuki," said Ranma, once the were out of the butler's earshot. "Is your butler secretly a master martial artist or something?"

"What? Miss Okomoto? Oh gosh, no. Should she be?"

"Nah. Just wondering. I mean, she didn't _seem_ to be, but ya never know."

The living room was furnished in a Western style, with thick beige carpeting and leather chairs and sofa. Ranma had only visited the homes of a few wealthy people before, and so was still not quite certain what to expect. Compared to Kohana's mansion, it was refreshingly bright and colorful. There were large open windows on two sides of the room, only one small bookshelf with what seemed like ordinary books, and very little black to be seen. Ranma couldn't distinguish between Gothic furniture and any other styles, but the difference between the 21st century Gojo household and that of the 19th century Honda house was obvious.

"It's because of Khan, isn't it?" Miyuki asked. "The Honda butler. He's a martial artist isn't he?"

Ranma was surprised. "You know him?"

"Well, of _course_," Miyuki said, exasperated. "Tomari is only my very _best_ friend ever." She paused, laughed nervously, and added, "Apart from you of course! But anyway, do you really think I need a martial artist butler? I could get one if you like; I just have to ask Daddy."

"No, that's okay," Ranma said.

"No, really, he'll do it," Miyuki replied. "Daddy does whatever I ask!"

"Please don't," Ranma said. "I don't want to get Miss Okomoto fired." Ranma thought about that a moment, and added, "That's all I need, someone else with a reason to hunt me down. Probably belongs to a secret butler's guild with highly trained butler ninja..." her voice trailed off.

"It really sucks how much the Hondas are worth," Miyuki growled. "It's _soooo_ hard to compete with that. I'm lucky to have the magical girl budget that I _do_ have, but that's practically a drop in the bucket for Tomari and Kohana! Do you think Tomoyo Daidôji had to work on a budget? Huh? Life would be _so_ much easier if I had the kind of money that Tomari has; then I could be the _perfect_ magical girl's best friend!"

Ranma shifted uncomfortably. "Ah… about this magical girl thing you keep bringing up… you aren't talking about _me_ are you? 'Cause I ain't no magical girl.."

"Oh, but you _almost_ are, right?" Miyuki said. "I mean, you're the most amazing girl martial artist I could ever hope to meet…."

"Girl or guy, actually," Ranma said, modestly.

"Exactly! And I saw you fighting in that gothic lolita outfit…."

"That wasn't planned," said Ranma. "And actually, that outfit's not really built for fighting in. If it weren't for my sense of balance..."

"Oh, but _that's_ no problem at all!" Miyuki exclaimed. "What kind of best friend would I be if I designed outfits that you couldn't fight in? No, next time you'll have an outfit built for fighting, I promise!"

"Uh… next time?" Ranma repeated.

Miyuki's suddenly looked as if she'd said too much. "Oh, but Ranma, aren't you hungry?" she asked.

Ranma blinked.

"I'm always hungry," she said.

XXX

Ranma waited alone in Miyuki's room.

She had expected servants to prepare a meal. That's how it worked at the Honda mansion. But Miyuki had insisted on making dinner herself, claiming it was part of being a magical girl's best friend. She left Ranma watching an episode of Card Captor Sakura on a large-screen television.

There was something odd about being alone ina girl's room by invitation. Ranma kept expecting Miyuki to burst in screaming something about perverts and hit her over the head. But no, Miyuki was in the kitchen, and Ranma was just another girl. Girls got invited to other girl's rooms all the time, right?

Except, of course, that she barely knew Miyuki. Then again, Miyuki had been in her room, why not the reverse?

Ranma looked about. Up until now she'd been in Ukyo's and Shampoo's rooms once or twice, and Akane's, Nabiki;s, and Kasumi's of course, and even had once visited Sayuri's room. That was probably the only time she'd been in what she might consider a _normal_ girl's room, but that had been with Akane and Yuka present.

Not, mind you, that she would consider Miyuki a _normal_ girl, but this was definitely the room of a girl who wasn't into martial arts or anything very _non_ girly. There were posters of magical girls and sweet lolita outfits on the walls – no pictures of guys at all, in fact. Ranma wondered briefly if Miyuki was a girl who only liked girls, like Kaida, but dismissed the thought. One entire wall was covered with bookshelves full of manga and dvds. There was a desk with a computer on top – _that_ part reminded her of Nabiki. There was a large closet stuffed with clothing of all kinds, mostly dresses with lots of bows and ribbons and lace and frills. Ranma shuddered involuntarily at that, even though her own closet looked somewhat similar these days.

There was a sewing machine in one corner. That struck Ranma as unusual.

Ranma wasn't very familiar with _Card Captor Sakura_, but by halfway through the second episode she had a sudden insight into what made Miyuki Gojo tick.

_When you do special things you should wear special costumes?_ Ranma thought. _The magical girl's best friend -- videotaping her every move..._

At that moment Miyuki entered the room with a tray full of food. There was rice and chicken katsu and spring rolls and miso soup, and a lemon cake that clearly could not have been prepared within the last hour, if Ranma had thought about it. When those delicious smells hit Ranma in the face, all other thoughts fled.

For the next several minutes, Ranma ate as only a Saotome could.

"So, Ranma," Miyuki asked, "why are you attending St. Hebereke? I mean I'm _glad_ you're here, of course, but I just have to know."

Ranma shrugged. "I got to go to school. Everybody does."

"Well, of _course_," Miyuki replied. "What I mean is, why a _girl's_ school? You're really a boy, aren't you? I know you turn into a girl, but you're really a boy inside, right?"

"You know about that?" Strangely, Ranma didn't seem surprised at this revelation.

"I found out yesterday," Miyuki replied. "I hope you don't mind. Actually, I think it's really cool. You actually transform! It's real magic!"

"It's not all that," Ranma said. "But I don't care if you know. Actually, it's better if people know, since they'll probably find out eventually anyway. My friends should know, at least."

"Exactly! So why a girl's school? Is it because your mother is the Vice Principal?"

"That's part of it," Ranma said. "I sort of made a promise to my mom a long time ago – actually so long ago I don't even remember it, but basically I gotta graduate with good grades. I ain't too good a student, so Mom thought this up as a sort of last chance to turn things around. Because of the curse and because she's the Vice Principal, and because she thinks girls make better students, especially when separated from boys. She thought I could leave all the chaos and all the fights behind by changin' schools and changin' my life around. Only that part isn't working out so far."

"I get it," Miyuki said, nodding. "So… you need help studying?"

"Yeah," Ranma said. "Actually, I was out late at Kohana's last night and I'm here tonight, so I guess I'm not off to such a good start on that front either."

"No worries!" Miyuki replied. "I can help you with that. Easy!"

Ranma frowned. "No offense, Miyuki, but you're not in the same grade as me."

"But I'm a good student, and so is Tomari. I'm sure we could help."

"Tomari?" Ranma asked.

"She should be here any moment." Almost as soon as the words left Miyuki's mouth, the doorbell sounded. "There, see? Her library club only lasts about an hour."

"Well, if you really think you two can help..."

"Absolutely!" Miyuki said. "More importantly, I bet you could use some help on just being a girl, right?"

"Ah… yeah."

Miyuki grinned. "Perfect! Hang out with me, I'll teach you everything you need to know!"

XXX

As the setting sun painted the sky in brilliant oranges and reds and shadows claimed the land below, a small fire could be found on a forested hillside. Carried on the evening breeze was the scent of cooking rice and the sound of muted voices.

Closer in, two figures could be seen seated by the fire. One was a very large man in a white gi. He wore a white bandana over his bald head and wore glasses. The second man was much smaller and older and dressed in a dark purple gi. He was also bald, with tufts of white hair around his ears. He puffed on a pipe thoughtfully.

"So, Genma, that's how it is," he said.

The larger man nodded.

"Sounds like your wife has finally gone psycho," the litte man observed.

Genma sighed. "This time, Master Happosai, I fear she truly has. This plan of hers, it's... _insane_. It can only cause irreparable harm to the boy. I've worked so _hard_ to train him properly, to avoid anything that would weaken him or criple him in any way..."

Happosai blew a smoke ring, clearly not all that interested in what Genma had to say. "I never knew what you saw in No-chan anyway," he said.

Genma grunted. "What, are you kidding, Master Happosai? Do you not _remember_ what she was like when we first met? She was as beautiful as the morning sun, as graceful and noble as a swan, and far smarter than I. She still is! She's a teacher after all. I don't really deserver her, to thell the truth."

"She was sweet when she was a girl, I'll grant you that." Happosai stared off into space, reminiscing.

"I don't know what I'm going to do!" Genma wailed.

"Do? There's nothing _to_ do," Happosai said. "Unless you wish to alienate your own wife..."

"But the schools must be joined!"

"See, _this_ is why I never married," Happosai said. "Too much trouble! If you cross her now, you risk destroying everything you've planned. You said yourself that any interferance would result in her cancelling the engagement."

"She would _neve dare_..."

"In any case," said Happosai, "The schools can still be joined. You simply must wait two years."

"Never! I will _not_ allow my son to be weakened by No-chan's twisted views on learning! _I_ did poorly in school, but as you can see it's never hindered _me_. If I sit back and do nothing, she's going to turn my son into some sissy, flower-arranging _girl_..."

"The world can always use more girls," Happosai said brightly. Genma glared at his Master as much as he dared. "Yeah, okay, suit yourself," Happy added. "Just don't expect me to get involved. The boy's my student, but trust me, two years is the blink of an eye. I have plenty of time to teach him what I choose, and if he's a girl part of that time, so much the better!"

Happosai pulled a tin of rice from over the fire. "Dinner's served! Let's eat!" he exclaimed. Genma grabbed the other. They wolfed down their simple meal in seconds.

Happosai stood and stretched. "What you need, Saotome, is to relax and forget your problems for a while. As it happens, I have the perfect thing in mind! There's a secret training grounds in the area that I've been meaning to visit..."

Genma leaped to his feet. "An excellent idea, Master Happosai! Lead on!"

In an instant the two were bounding across the landscape like the Nerima martial artists they were. "Never let it be said that your Master doesn't have your best interests in mind!" Happosai crowed as he flew through the air. "I was going bring the boy to this place, but if he's a girl then that just wouldn't work. Too bad too, I've only just started teaching him my true secret techniques."

"You have?" Genma shouted as he lumbered behind.

"Yes, of course. Started about a month ago."

"But Master! You never taught me _any_ of those secret techniques..."

"Of course not, you fat fool! You never proved worthy of them." Happosai came to an abrupt halt at the edge of a clearing. An isolated building could be seen up ahead. Genma blinked. He had not expected a secret training grounds to include neon lights...

"Ah," said Happosai happily. "The Red Hot Tea House Kunoichi! Yes! The legendary female ninjas! Adventurous, violent, sexy, and historically very important! Ready, Genma?"

Genma sighed. For a moment, he'd completely forgotten _who_ his Master was. He sadi, "Yes, Master, of course..."

XXX

The evening was not what Ranma had expected. She really hadn't _had_ any expectations, but of those that she didn't have, one of them was certainly _not_ to spend an hour and a half on school work, with the substantial aid of two girls who were younger and by all rights should not know so much more than their upperclassman.

Finally they closed the books. Not only was Ranma's schoolwork done, but she actually felt like she had learned something for once.

"Want to watch more _Card Captor Sakura_?" Miyuki asked.

"Ah... there wasn't really a lot of fighting," Ranma said. This was, of course, a _huge_ negative in her book.

"Well, I've got Sailor Moon, of course, and Magical Project S, and... well, name a magical girl series, I probably have it."

"_Probably_?" Tomari said.

"Magical Project S?" Ranma asked. "That's the one with Pretty Sammy, right?"

Miyuki nodded enthusiastically. "You like that? I saw the manga in your room. Sailor Moon too."

"Well," Ranma said, "those were just copies from the library, and they were out of order..."

Miyuki stared at Ranma in shock. "Oh. My. God. You haven't read those series from the beginning?"

"Well, no," Ranma said. "I've never owned my own copies..."

Miyuki ran to her shelves and began grabbing books. She piled them in front of Ranma. "Here! Take mine! Please!"

"What? Miyuki, I can't do that," Ranma said. "I don't have the money to repay you..."

"Don't worry about it," Miyuki said. "I can replace them easily."

"But you already got me that phone..."

"Ranma," Miyuki said, "I would be _very_ sad to think that a fan of those series wasn't able to read the whole thing... here, I can give you some other good ones too. You _really_ can't miss Card Captor Sakura; the anime is best of course, but... do you have a dvd player?"

Ranma shook her head.

"Oh, take my spare one then. It's a portable one, see? Nice and compact, so you can take it anywhere."

"There's no way I could do that..." Ranma began.

"Yes, Ranma," Miyuki said firmly, "you can. These things are cheap, trust me. It's time I got a new one anyway..."

Ranma watched as the stack of manga and dvds in front of her grew. "Miyuki, I can take all of this stuff," Ranma said again.

"Yes you can," Tomari replied. "Miyuki can afford it, honest. And if she can't then _I_ certainly can..."

Miyuki looked thoughtful.

"I'll tell you what," she said. "I'm a... a bit of a clothing designer, actually. Only I need a model to work with. If you could help me out, I'd be _ever_ so grateful, and I'd consider it payment for what I'm giving you – the books, the dvds, and the dvd player. Is that a deal?"

Ranma thought about this for a second.

"What, you mean just try stuff on? That sort of thing?"

"Exactly," Miyuki said. "Just stand still while I measure you, try a few outfits on, and let me make some adjustments. You can even watch some anime while I'm doing it..."

Ranma glanced to Tomari. Before she could even say something, Tomari said, "No. I do _not_ model for Miyuki. Ever."

"Well… okay," Ranma said. "I'll do it."

XXX

The Red Hot Tea House Kunoichi lay in ruins. Nearby, Happosai lay on some rocks, gasping for air.

"Kuso!" he exclaimed. "How terrifying! _Never_ have I seen women so ugly! They make _Cologne_ seem sexy..."

"I aged ten years," Genma gasped.

Happosai jumped to his feet. "Come, Genma. Let's get as far away from here as possible!"

"Right behind you, Master!" The two bounded off into the woods as quickly as they'd arrived.

A few minutes later the air shimmered, and a young girl appeared in the clearing. She gave a cry of alarm.

"Oh! What foul villain would do such a thing?" she exclaimed. Quickly she produced a can of gasoline and doused the wreckage. "Step mother?" she called out. "Sister Koeda? Sister Kome?" She lit a match and dropped it. In seconds the ruins were engulfed in flames.

Behind her, someone cleared their throat. "What are you doing, Konatsu?"

"Ah... cleaning up?" The young ninja turned and clapped her hands together. Three of the ugliest women the world had ever known stood behind her. "Step Mother! Sisters! I was so _worried_ about you..."

The step mother and step sisters had clearly been through a bruising fight. This did not, however, prevent them from pounding the younger, more beautiful Konatsu into the ground.

Once the youngest kunoichi had been sufficiently punished, her step mother towered over her and said, "Konatsu, _you_ must avenge this evil deed!" She kicked her step daughter once more for good measure, then added, "Until you do, you are banned from the kunoichi village!"

Trembling, the young kunoichi got to her feet. "Who shall I look for?" she asked.

"A fat man in a white gi with glasses, and a tiny, ugly dwarf of a man in a purple gi," her step mother replied. "The fat one said that his name was Ranma Saotome..."

Konatsu nodded. She clenched her fist. "Ranma Saotome," she vowed. "For what you have done to me and mine, you shall pay!"

XXX

Blissfully unaware of impending doom, Ranma sat in Miyuki's bedroom eating ice cream and watching more _Card Captor Sakura_. She wore an outfit remarkably like one of Sakura Kinomoto's. It involved a lot of ribbons and frills and twice as much fabric as necessary. Miyuki claimed that this provided the right amount of "flounce" which was apparently very important.

Despite her initial reservations about a series aimed at young girls that didn't involve much fighting, Ranma had now been sucked into the series. It really _was_ plotted well, and once Syaoran had shown up there was even someone who sort of knew how to fight. That instantly made the series more interesting to Ranma, or at least, gave her an _excuse_ for being interested. So engrossed was she that she failed to ask Miyuki about the strange parallels between her and Tomoyo Daidoji.

"You like this show?" MIyuki asked. Ranma nodded, not even looking up.

When an episode ended and the closing theme was playing, Ranma asked, "Is there some sort of martial arts card? Something that helps her fight better?"

"Now," said Miyuki, "we can't give away things that haven't happened yet, that would be spoiling it."

Ranma had spent nearly an hour trying on different outfits, mostly elaborate sweet lolita dresses with more ribbons, bows, and frills than could be found in a wrapping paper factory. Ranma did have to admit that the clothes were well made and quite cute. Miyuki was a good seamstress as well as a good cook -- and a pretty good artist into the bargain. Ranma had one of Miyuki's sketchbooks in her lap right now. She glanced down at it.

"You're good," Ranma said. "I could never draw anything like this."

"Thanks, but I'm not _that_ good," Miyuki admitted. "All I'm really good for is costumes and character designs. Static poses, that sort of thing. Sachiko's the real artist. That's why she's drawing the manga."

Ranma glanced up in surprise. "You're doing a manga?"

"Oh, yes!" Miyuki exclaimed. "Tomari is writing it and Sachiko is drawing it! I'm kind of in charge of the whole thing... you know, I provide most of the initial ideas for characters and plots, and they go from there."

"It's about magical girls?" Ranma asked.

"Yes! How did you know?"

"Ah... just a lucky guess," Ranma said with a smirk. "So what are you going to do with it when you're done?"

"Well, we're going to publish it, of course," Miyuki said. "We're hoping to have it done before Winter. Then we'll try and sell it at the next Comic Fest."

"What's that?" Ranma asked.

Miyuki's eyes threatened to pop out of her head. "You mean you don't know? It's like, the biggest comic festival in the country! Maybe in the world!"

"Really?" Ranma said. "That's pretty cool then."

"Yeah. It's big. I mean, most of the people that sell stuff there are at least in college. We're just first year high school students!"

"I'm impressed. You'll have to let me read it."

Miyuki exchanged a nervous look with Tomari. "Ah... yeah. We will," she said half-heartedly.

"Why aren't you in the school art club?" Ranma asked. "Or the fashion club? Or even a cooking club?"

"I don't want to be," Miyuki said. "I'm not interested in any of that."

"Miyuki's in the Go Home Club," said Tomari.

"True," said Miyuki, "but maybe not for much longer."

Tomari raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Did you finally found a club you want to join?"

"Maybe," Miyuki said. "I'll tell you tomorrow, after I've had more time to think about it."

Ranma reached for another sketchbook. "What's in here?"

Miyuki snatched it out of her hands. "You can't look at that!" She clutched the sketchbook to her chest. "Sorry, Ranma, but this one is off limits. At least, for now..."

"Okay," Ranma said. She glanced at the clock. "Actually, it's getting pretty late," she said. "I should probably head home..."

XXX

Once again, Ranma arrived home late, in a limo, and wearing a new outfit she'd been given. Miyuki had insisted that Ranma keep one of the outfits and wear it home. Ranma got out, thanked the driver, and entered the house.

Her mother was seated in the living room. She frowned. "Daughter, I understand that making new friends is important, but I don't want you up late on school nights..."

"Don't worry, Mom," Ranma said. "We were studying. I got my homework done."

"Well, that's good," Nodoka said. "But a good night's sleep is also important."

Ranma nodded. "I promise I won't stay out this late again," she said.

Ranma lugged a very large backpack up the hallway. She dumped it on her bed.

"Welcome back, Ranma," Akane called out from her side of the room. "So, did you have fun at Miyuki's?"

"Yeah, actually," Ranma replied. She began to unpack her bag.

Akane pulled aside the curtain to watch. "What all this?" she asked.

"Ah... just some stuff Miyuki lent me," Ranma said. "Well, _gave_ me, I guess."

Akane picked up a manga volume. She raised an eyebrow. "Sailor Moon? I thought I recognized them. You like Sailor Moon, then?"

Ranma shrugged. "Sure. I mean, it _is_ about fighting, part of the time. I just thought it was cool all around."

Akane smirked. "You've read it before didn't you?"

"Eh... just a couple of manga here and there," Ranma said. "Ones Nabiki left around. I never got the chance to read it all the way through before. Miyuki gave me the whole series."

"Nabiki would've leant them to you, you know. You should have asked."

"No way!" Ranma said. "If someone had found out, I'd have never lived it down!"

"But it's okay now?"

"Of course," said Ranma. "I'm a girl now."

Akane rolled her eyes. "Lots of boys read shoujo manga, Ranma. Even stuff like Sailor Moon."

"Not me," Ranma said. "Not boy-me, anyway."

"You're neurotic, you know that? But anyway, read whatever you like. It doesn't matter." She paused, then added, "Although if you start reading _yaoi_ manga I'd be worried."

Ranma rolled her eyes. "Please. Nothing like that."

"Ranma, do you _know_ what yaoi manga is?"

Ranma looked doubtful. "Um... some magical girl team?"

Akane laughed. "Right, Ranma. That's it exactly." She looked Ranma up and down. "Cute dress, by the way."

"Thanks. Miyuki made it," Ranma said absently. "Oh, I almost forgot!" She pulled something from her school bag and handed it to Akane. "Here!"

Akane stared at the object in her hand.

"It's a cell phone," Ranma said. "Decorated with Sailor Mercury stuff. You know. We didn't know which Sailor Scout you liked, but Mercury kind of looks like you..."

As Akane continued to stare, Ranma held up another phone. "See? Mine's Sailor Mars..."

XXX

Miyuki sat in her room with Tomari. She picked up the sketchbook that she'd kept from Ranma. She opened it.

The first page depicted a slim, athletic girl with bright red hair, dressed in a modified Gothic Lolita maid's outfit. Above her in large letters it said, "Magical Warrior Princess Ranma."

"You're going to have to tell her eventually," Tomari said.

Miyuki hugged the sketchbook to her chest. "Not until it's ready to publish," she replied. "By then, she can see for herself. This is going to be the most _brilliant, awesome_ manga the world had ever seen!"

"She's not going to like it," Tomari said.

"Oh, she'll come around eventually," Miyuki said. "Trust me."

XXX

In another part of town a group of rough-looking boys and girls were hanging out in a parking lot. The moon was high overhead, but the group kept to the shadows of a nearby building.

"One girl?" one of the boys exclaimed. He had blond hair that stuck straight up, and was tall and powerfully muscled. The others deferred to him -- clearly he was the leader of this group. "Tell me how one little girl -- a _St. Hebereke_ girl -- beat up three of my toughest girls?"

"She's a demon," one of the girls said. "A holy terror."

"She used some kind of martial arts on us," a second girl said.

"Yeah," said a third. "She's tiny, but she hits like a pro. Trust me, Goku, you can't take this one lightly."

Goku Kenji rubbed his stubbled chin thoughtfully. "She's really that good?"

"She beat the three of us up!" the first girl repeated.

"Yeah, but she's _still_ a girl," Goku said. "Still, I can't be having any high-class Princess beating up on my gang. We're going to have to teach this girl a lesson."

He paused, then growled, "Right. Tell everyone to assemble tomorrow at Noon. _Everyone_. I want the whole gang there. We're going to do this thing right..."

To Be Continued


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter Fifteen**

Ranma awoke in the dark to the confusion that comes with being half-asleep. She saw no stars. She felt no breeze. The sounds and smells of the wilderness were missing, as was the crackle of the campfire.

Ranma blinked, and knew that she was in a warm bed at her mother's house. There would be no more wandering the width and breadth of the world, nor worrying if it might rain on you as you slept. She was _home_. That word had taken on meaning at the Tendo house, but here and now, it meant even more.

She was lying on a mattress, snuggled beneath a warm comforter, wearing a soft cotton nightgown. Light breathing could be heard on the far side of the room. It was different from Pop's snoring, but it was comforting. Ranma felt at peace.

And that, strangely enough was _terrifying_. She'd been a full-time girl for less than a week, and already it felt natural. Perversely, this caused a fear to well up within her. What if she became _too_ comfortable with being a girl? What if she _became_ a girl?

Ranma struggled with her own emotions for several moments, but then the fear subsided. Ranma was, after all, used to fighting internal as well as external demons, and as with all conflicts she expected to win. That was what set her apart from Ryoga and Mouse. Ranma never let her internal demons defeat her.

Ranma would remain Ranma. Nothing was going to change that – certainly not something as simple a fondness for wearing skirts and dresses.

She grimaced. _Fondness_? That was not the word she meant. True, she was growing comfortable with skirts, a natural consequence of wearing them constantly, but that didn't mean she _liked_ them.

Ranma closed her eyes, drifting back to sleep.

There was someone ahead of her – a boy with dark hair. He was talking to her, saying things that at first she couldn't quite hear.

"What was that again?" she asked, running to catch up. They walked beside a river. He was dressed in a boy's dark _gakuran_ school uniform, and she in a girl's sailor-style _seifuku_.

"Why are you in this situation, anyway?" he asked. "Pretending to be a girl."

Ranma pondered the question. "Mom wanted me to," she said.

"She didn't _force_ you into it," he replied.

"No, but I realized that Mom was right. I needed to turn my life around in a drastic way. Nothing more drastic than assuming a new gender, eh?"

"And you made that bet with Nabiki," he said. "Why must you accept every challenge thrown her way?"

"Ancestors, I wish I knew," Ranma replied. "It's not like I haven't wondered that before."

"Like when you were goaded into martial arts cheerleading, or martial arts tea ceremony?"

Ranma laughed. "Worse than that, how about my duel with Tsubasa over who could be the cutest girl? _That _was beyond stupid, but Tsubasa challenged me and in I went!"

"Yes," the boy agreed. "You are, no doubt, the most hyper-competitive person on the planet."

"Hey!" Ranma snapped. "It ain't _my_ fault!" Impulsively she turned and pushed the boy into the river. As he fell, she got a good look at his face. It was Ranma – her male half. He looked at her in surprise, as if to say, "What did you do that for?" and then he disappeared beneath the water.

Ranma wondered if girl-type Ranma would surface – and if so, what did that mean, if _she_ was already girl-type Ranma? But instead, what rose from the river was a giant panda.

"It's _my_ fault!" the panda yelled in the voice of her father. "_I_ made you competitive. I _made you_, boy! There's nothing wrong with it; after all, that's why you always win! You've won sometimes on sheer willpower alone. That's good! And it's all thanks to me!"

Ranma sparred with the panda. They flew across the rooftops of Tokyo, exchanging punches.

"Give it up, old man!" she growled. "It's because of _you_ that I'm in the mess I'm in now! Nabiki challenged me, and now I gotta prove that I'm a better student _and_ a better girl than her! Think about _that_, Pop! Me, a good student? A girl? How am I supposed to manage _that_?"

"You _sound_ like a girl, boy!" the panda yelled. "This is your _ultimate _challenge, Ranma, and my son's no quitter!"

Ranma hopped from roof to pole, where he balanced above a series of pools. "Pops, Nabiki's _smart_. _And_ sophisticated!"

"Please sir," their Chinese guide said from far below. "Is very bad you fall in spring!"

The panda leaped to its own pole, balancing easily for such a large creature. It said, "If you can't win by being the best daughter possible, then you're not my son."

"That makes no sense!" Ranma yelled. The two leaped up, meeting in mid-air. With a spinning kick Ranma launched the panda into a pool.

Ranma's father Genma Saotome burst from the pool. "Raaar!" Genma roared.

"Hey, what gives?" Ranma asked. "Where'd the panda go?"

"Oh, sir!" the guide said. "That one is 'Spring of Drowned Lazy, Fat, Good-For-Nothing Martial Artist Father What Lives Through His Son!' There is tragic legend, very tragic, of martial artist father who drowned there last Thursday! Now whoever fall in that spring take body of father who want to make his son man among men and unite the two schools!"

"Hey, buddy, wait a second," Ranma replied. "You never said nothing about no cursed spring..."

Sneaky as ever, Genma used the distraction to blindside Ranma with a powerful kick. Ranma splashed down in another pool.

"Oh!" the guide exclaimed. "Not 'Spring of Drowned A+ Girl Student!'" He paused, watching Ranma surface. "Actually, sir, in your case this not be so bad..."

Mist rose from the ground. The cursed training grounds faded. Ranma found herself in a swamp. On a nearby log sat a green-skinned Happosai with large pointed ears. He was wearing his usual purple gi and smoking a pipe.

"I'm _trying_ to be a girl..." Ranma said.

"Do or do not," said Happosai. "There is no try."

"That's easy for _you_ to say," Ranma growled. "I'm just not sure I can do this…."

'You do not believe in the power of panties," Happosai said. "This is why you fail."

"What?"

Yoda-Happosai held up a pink satin bra and panty set. "Put these on, you must..." he said. "Comfort an old man, you will.…" The green-skinned Happosai leaped to his feet. "Come on, girlie! Gimme some sugar!"

Ranma kicked Happosai deep into the swamp. She lifted effortlessly into the air and flew away. Her cape flapped in the wind as she soared over Tokyo. She landed in her Dojo of Solitude. Her loyal servant was waiting for her in her usual maid's uniform.

"Greetings, Ranma," Miss Kasumi said. "How was your day patrolling the city as Supergirl Student?"

"Oh, the usual," Ranma replied. "I got into another fight. I thought I left my problems behind in Nerima City, but they've only followed me here. I _really_ need a way to separate my school life from my life as a martial artist super hero."

"But the solution to that is simplicity itself," Kasumi replied. She handed Ranma a pair of black-framed glasses. "When you wear these, you transform from Supergirl Student to Ranma Saotome, mild-mannered school girl."

"Neat!" Ranma replied. "But I don't have to change in a phone booth, do I?"

XXX

Miyuki Gojo had a Western-style breakfast of bacon, eggs, hashed browns and toast. She wolfed the food down, partly because she was starving, but mostly because that was how anime heroines ate.

Much of what Miyuki did was calculated to mirror her favorite anime characters. She set her alarm just _exactly_ so she would always be in a rush to get to school. _That_ was essential. Some days she ran to school with a piece of toast hanging from her mouth. She also had roller skates. She didn't wear them every day, but what kind of anime girl were you if you didn't roller skate to school _once_ in a while?

As she strapped on the skates and grabbed her bag, Miss Okomoto gave her an update on "Project: Ukyo."

"I've gathered her school records and submitted them to St. Hebereke," the butler said. "I made certain to expedite the process. The Principal at Furinkhan was less than helpful, but I was able to work around him. The school uniforms should be ready by this evening, and her schedule set for Thursday morning."

"Awesome!" Miyuki said. "What about the restaurant?"

"I've scouted a location that would appear to be ideal and prepared the paperwork for you to look over. Your father has approved it, and with your approval we can remodel and start moving as early as this evening. I have people on call should their services be required…."

Miyuki glanced at the proffered photographs. "It looks fantastic," she said. She paused to scribble a signature, then grabbed her book bag and bentos (prepared before bed, so as not to mess up her morning rush). "I left some preliminary costume designs on my desk, can you let the seamstress know?"

Then Miyuki was flying out the door. She jumped the five steps at the end of the paved path and hit the sidewalk, making certain her skirt flew up_ just _enough for a quick bit of fan service, should anyone be watching. Of course, no one ever was.

The sun was just peeking over the horizon and _Fruits Candy_ was blasting through her ear buds at top volume. It was going to be an absolutely _perfect_ day!

XXX

"So tell me about this dream you had," Akane said.

It was another early morning at the Saotome house, and Ranma and Akane faced each other on the back lawn. Ranma was trying to train Akane in the only way she knew how.

"Never mind that," Ranma said. "It was too weird, although it _did _give me a new idea. Now, your problem, Akane, is control. You don't have enough of it. Or _any_ of it. All you got is brute strength."

"_Ranma_," Akane growled. "Take that back!" She threw herself at Ranma, but the red-head dodged each attack easily.

"Now see, this is exactly what I'm talking about," Ranma said. "It's too easy to goad you. You overreact. Don't you see – me saying you've got brute strength is actually a compliment, of a sort." Ranma continued to fall back, dodging every attack with ease. "I mean it – you've got more raw strength in your punches and kicks than any human I've met this side of Pops or Ryoga. But that's _all_ you've got. Pops has deceptive speed and a lifetime's arsenal of dirty and underhanded – not to mention cowardly – tricks at his disposal. Ryoga has some very advanced techniques, not to mention he's as unstoppable as an avalanche. What you've got is strength and the bare basics of the Anything-Goes style. You need to build on that, but first you need to learn to control yourself and your temper and not go off half-cocked."

"You said the same thing the other day," Akane growled.

"And you _reacted_ the same way," Ranma replied.

"So? Calling me names makes me angry! And stop dodging me!"

Ranma stopped dodging and roundhouse-kicked Akane. The Tendo girl landed hard and slid across the grass. For a brief moment she looked stunned, then she shook herself and leaped to her feet, ready for more.

"Look, 'Kane," Ranma said. "Maybe I ain't doing things right. I insult you because it's your weakness. You're supposed to _learn_, to not let it distract you. That's one of Pop's training techniques, you know, but... I've sort of realized that not all of Pop's training methods are, um... what's the word...?"

"Good ideas?" Akane replied, grinning.

"Yeah, I guess," Ranma replied. "But back to my main point: strength you've got. Anger you've got -- it feeds your battle aura, anyone can see that. But being angry and out of control does you no good. I need to teach you more control. I just have to figure out how to do that."

She settled back into a fighting stance. "The _other_ thing you need is speed. _That_ I know how to teach. Now, come at me again..."

XXX

The two girls dressed in their school uniforms. Digging through her collection of disguises, Ranma produced a pair of round, oversized, black-framed glasses.

"You ready?" Akane asked. She stepped into Ranma's side of the room. She paused to stare at the redhead.

**"**Ranma," she asked, "what the heck are those?"

"Glasses, duh," Ranma said. "I used them to fool Ryoga once, remember?"

"Okay," Akane replied. "_Who_ are you trying to fool _this_ time?"

"Nobody," Ranma said. "Or maybe everybody. I just got this idea. You know how the smart girls in tv and anime shows always wear glasses?"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Wearing glasses won't affect your grades, you know."

"Maybe, maybe not," Ranma said. "First thing it does is it changes my image. If I look studious, maybe people won't be tryin' to fight me all the time."

"Right, Ranma. Like that's going to work."

"Hey, I gotta try, right? Anyway, self-image is a part of it too. If I think of myself as a good student, I might fool myself into studying more."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

Ranma laughed. "Are you sure? I've said a lot of dumb things before."

The two made their way down the hall. "I can't argue with that," Akane replied, laughing herself. They grabbed their book bags and lunches and slipped on their shoes.

"Well," Ranma said as she opened the door, "at the very least if I look like a bookworm, maybe people will think twice before attacking..."

With a whoosh and a thunk, a slender, steel throwing star pinned Ranma's sleeve to the door frame.

"What the..." Ranma pulled back, tearing the sleeve. "Damn it!" she growled, but she had the presence of mind to block the next three stars with her book bag.

"Ranma Saotome!" a voice called out. "Prepare to die! Eight-faced beauty throwing stars!"

Ranma grabbed Akane and leaped out of the path of another barrage of sharp steel. "Who's there? Show yourself!" Ranma called out.

In response, a young girl dressed head to toe in ninja garb appeared directly behind Ranma. She wrapped her arms about him and leaned backwards in a classic wresting drop. "Expense account drop!" she yelled, as Ranma's head hit the pavement.

Ranma grabbed the ninja in a scissors leg lock and tossed her up. "Tsk. You need more training," the ninja girl said, landing on her feet.

"Who _are_ you?" Ranma exclaimed. She lunged forward, yanking away the hood. A beautiful, long-haired girl was revealed.

"Call me Konatsu Kunoichi!" the girl exclaimed. "I come to avenge the Red Hot Teahouse Kunoichi!"

Anger flashed in Akane's eyes. "Ranma? I thought you were at Miyuki's house last night!"

"Hey, I got no idea what she's talking about!"

The kunoichi suddenly looked confused. "Wait a second! _You're_ not bald!"

Ranma blinked at her. "You just noticed?"

"Nor are you fat!"

"Uh..." Ranma began.

_"You're not even a man!_"

"Hey!" Ranma growled. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm not a..."

"Ranma," Akane said. "It sounds like she's talking about your father."

Ranma paused. "Oh, hey. That _does_ sound like Pops."

The ninja hit her palm with her fist. "Of course! The glasses fooled me. The one I'm looking for is the girl's _father_!"

"Great," Ranma groaned. "What did the idiot do _this_ time?"

"Never mind that!" The kunoichi stabbed a finger at Ranma. "Tell me where Ranma Saotome is!"

"Uh... I'm right here..."

"Not you!" the girl said. "Your father!"

"My father?" Ranma scratched her head. "I really have no idea..."

"Then I shall just have to take you hostage and..."

The ninja leaped forward, but Ranma was ready for her. A punch sent her flying across the street.

"You might want to rethink that strategy," Ranma said.

The ninja stood and dusted herself off. "You are a formidable opponent," she said. "I'll need time to think on this..."

"Hey, if you find Pops, feel free to beat him up for me."

The ninja girl bounded away. After a long moment, Akane said, "So. Explain to me again how these glasses are going to save you from fights?"

Ranma sighed. "Yeah, okay," she said, removing them.

XXX

Miyuki, Tomari, Sachiko and Kohana were waiting for them at the front gate. The morning sun flashed off the burnished metal letters that spelled out the name of the school. Ranma smiled, wondering that in only three days she already felt comfortable attending a girl's school, wearing a girl's uniform, and greeting Miyuki and her friends in the morning. She smiled even wider seeing the extra bento in Miyuki's hands.

Another very familiar face was waiting at the gates with them.

"What do you think?" Nabiki Tendo asked, spinning around. "I make a pretty fetching St. Hebereki school girl, wouldn't you say?"

Ranma frowned. It wasn't that she _disliked_ Nabiki, but having her here at the same school didn't sit well. She would have preferred that Nabiki remain at Furinkhan. Still, she could understand that Nabiki had not transferred just to torment her, but to graduate from a school with a much higher profile than Furinkhan.

"You look great, sis!" Akane agreed.

Nabiki smiled, then her eyes narrowed. "Ranma, what have you been doing? Your sleeve is ripped..."

"Yeah. Ninja throwing star," Ranma replied, as if that explained everything. "So, Mom got you registered here?"

Nabiki nodded. "All taken care of. From now until I graduate, I'm a student at St. Hebereke's School for Girls." She glanced sideways at the other girls.

"Oh," Ranma said. "Let me introduce you, This is Akane's older sister Nabiki, and these are..."

"No, no," Nabiki said, holding up a hand. "Let me guess." She appeared to study the girls a moment. "The tall one is obviously a kendoist -- Sachiko Nakayama, yes? And Kohana Honda, you and your sister Tomari are easy to place. That just leaves Miyuki Gojo, the girl with the extra lunch boxes. Those are for Ranma?"

Miyuki's eyes danced. "Wow! You're quite good, Nabiki Tendo! I _knew_ you had a reputation for gathering information..."

"You did?"

"Well, of _course_," Miyuki replied. "I have my _own_ information network, you know."

"Meaning we traveled to Nerima and asked questions," Tomari added.

"Is that so?" said Nabiki. "Well, you _should_ have come to me, then. I could have helped you. But right now, _I'm_ the one needing information. I'm new to St. Hebereke's, and so far I only know what Akane was able to tell me, and what I was able to dig up online..."

"Come speak to me later," Miyuki said promptly.  
"Done!"

"But Nabiki," Akane asked. "Isn't it a long commute?"

"Yeah, it is, but I'll manage," Nabiki said. "I might even find a cheap place close by to move to."

Akane's eyes grew wide. "You mean _you'd_ move out, too? Have you mentioned that to Father?"

"What, are you crazy?" Nabiki laughed. "Daddy will go to pieces. Anyway, I haven't decided for sure yet. I need a job to pay the rent, for one thing."

. "Let me pass!" a voice demanded.

"We shall not, Miss Satori. For it has been said: the one that shall defeat you shall be allowed to _date_ you."

"Never! If I must defeat every one of you, then so be it!"

"Oh, gods," Akane said. "Not _this_ stupid farce again..."

"Every morning, like clockwork," Tomari said.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Shizuko Satori, I take it?'

The others nodded. Nabiki watched the ensuing fight with a critical eye.

"You were right, Akane," she said. "Watching this really _does_ bring back memories. But your fights weren't staged, and were far more entertaining..."

XXX

Ranma took her seat in class well before the bell, thanks to the lack of a Kuno, Hibiki, Mousse, Shampoo or any other sort of interference. For a brief moment she even wondered if maybe, just maybe, things _were_ going to be less complicated at St. Hebereke. One glance about the room reminded her of the folly of such thinking. Most of the girls -- and, of course, there were _only_ girls present -- were still pointedly ignoring her. Meanwhile, Kaida caught her eye and winked in a manner that spoke volumes -- volumes of very graphic hentai manga, in fact.

Ranma slid lower into her seat. After a moment she pulled out the glasses and donned them. _Something_ had to change, and looking like a serious student still felt like a step in the right direction.

Ranma was squinting at the blackboard, trying to read their homework assignment, when she realized that her teacher was standing by her desk.

Ranma glanced up at the young woman. "Miss Shindou?" she asked.

"Are you having trouble reading the blackboard, Ranma?" the teacher asked.  
"Uh... no, not really," Ranma replied. Her gut instinct warned her that any other answer would be a bad idea.

"You were not wearing glasses yesterday, were you?" Miss Shindou asked..

"Uh... I don't usually wear them," Ranma replied warily. The conversation felt like a mine field that Ranma was stumbling through in lead boots.

"Perhaps you should wear them more often then," the teacher said. "It's not good for your eyes when you have to strain to see."

"I don't…."

"You were squinting at the blackboard, Ranma. You did that yesterday too. Even with your glasses you squint. Are you quite sure you don't need a stronger prescription?"

"Look, these aren't real," Ranma said, removing the frames. "I don't need 'em to see. I can see just fine."

"Is that so? Then what is today's assignment?"

"Ah..." Ranma shifted nervously. She stared hard at the blackboard. "Read pages 47-51..."

"Ranma, you're squinting," the teacher said.

"Hey, it ain't _my_ fault! The blackboard's too far away!"

The teacher glanced at the girl seated next to Ranma. "Midori, do _you_ have any problems reading the blackboard from here?"

"No, Miss Shindou."

"Ranma," the teacher said, "when is the last time you had an eye exam?"

"Uh… never?"

XXX

"Hey you. New girl."

Nabiki glanced up. Half a dozen of her classmates were gathered around her desk. She'd been expecting something like this, of course -- Akane had explained last night how she and Ranma were being treated at this school. She sighed and folded her hands in front of her.

"Yes? The name is Nabiki Tendo, by the way."

"Then you are the older sister to those other two peasant girls?" one asked. She had curly brown hair and a classically beautiful face that was somewhat marred by a permanent sneer. She was the apparent spokesperson for the group -- self appointed, Nabiki was quite sure. These types always were.

"Akane Tendo is my sister, yes."

"You're from... what was the name of that school?"

"Furnikhan," Nabiki supplied.

"Yes, that's it. So tell us, are the rumors about Kodachi Kuno's father really true?"

This was not the direction Nabiki had expected the conversation to turn, but she did not betray surprise. "That he's crazy?" she replied. "As a loon, yes, of course. What did you expect?"

"No, not that," the girl replied, irritated. "They say he's Principal of Furinkhan -- a lowly public school."

"Lies! Lies!" A storm of rose petals filled the room. Nabiki sighed. This was _really_ not the way she'd expected things to go.

Kodachi danced into the room, ribbon twirling. "Oh ho ho! Do not slander the name of my father! The sire of Kodachi the Black Rose is a good and honorable man!"

Nabiki brushed a few stray petals from her desk. "Good day, Miss Kuno," she said.

"You wicked, wicked girl. You will _not_ spread such lies and slander..."

Nabiki spread her hands. "I haven't _said_ anything about Principal Kuno yet."

There was a collective gasp of breath from the other girls.

"Then it's true!" one exclaimed.

"He really _was_ Principal of Furinkhan then!" the leader added.

"Oh, my," Nabiki said, looking as innocent as Kasumi. "Did I give something away?"

"You will speak no more about my father, lest you face my wrath!"

Nabiki studied Kodachi with half-lidded eyes, as if the crazy gymnast was nothing more than an annoying insect. "Kodachi, empty threats do not impress me."

Anger flashed in Kodachi's eyes. "Empty threats! Do you not realize the position you are in? Here at St. Hebereke the Black Rose is Queen! Do not think you can escape the fate that has befallen your poor sisters!"

"Ranma is _not_ my sister," Nabiki replied. "And what fate are we speaking of?"

"One word from me, and everyone in the school will ignore you! You will have no friends. No other girl will even acknowledge your existence!"

"Oh? People will leave me alone and let me study?" Nabiki smirked. "Why, that's very nice of you, Kodachi."

"It is no favor!" Kodachi snapped. "You will be a pariah!"

Nabiki shrugged. "And? I wasn't exactly Prom Queen material at Furinkhan, you know.".

"Foolish girl! Soon you will see that those who oppose Kodachi Kuno face a living hell!" Kodachi's ribbon began to spin again, scattering more rose petals.

"That's too bad," Nabiki said. "And here, I thought you'd be interested in these photos I have..."

On the verge of leaping through the window, Kodachi paused. "I have no interest in anything of yours!" she exclaimed.

"Several very nice photos of Ranma-kun," Nabiki said, spreading the pictures on her desktop. "He's very nicely muscled, you know. A top martial artist. Not really my type, but even I have to admit Ranma's quite a hunk."

Kodachi's ribbon spun more slowly, no longer producing black rose petals. "Do you take me for a fool like my brother?" she asked haughtily.

"Yes, exactly like." Nabiki smiled sweetly.

Kodachi's ribbon went slack. She inched closer to the desk. "I am not so base," she declared. She glanced down at the photos. "I..." she began. She picked one up and stared at it. "Oh! He is _sooo_ dreamy!"

"Isn't he, though?" Nabiki replied. "Set of five, ten thousand yen."

"Ten thousand!" Kodachi nearly choked. "You would try to _gouge_ me..."

"Well, if you don't want them, then..." Nabiki moved to scoop them back up. Kodachi slapped her hand down over them.

"No! I'll take them!"

Moments later Kodachi bounced out of the room, cackling madly. Nabiki carefully counted the bills once more and placed them in her wallet. "So glad to have my suspicions confirmed," she said. "Kodachi really is like her brother..."

"Speak not the name of the noble Tatewaki Kuno!" said the curly-haired spokeswoman of those gathered near Nabiki's desk. "A commoner such as you has not the right!"

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "I spoke no name," she said. "And noble? We _are_ talking about the brother of Kodachi and the son of my former Principal, yes?"

"He is the morning sun! He has the soul of the noblest samurai! You will _not_ speak ill of him!"

Nabiki chuckled to herself. "I was _hoping_ there was a group of girls like you here at St. Hebereke."

"We have nothing further to say to you," the leader snapped. As one, every girl in the room turned away, pointedly ignoring Nabiki.

"Oh, dear," Nabiki said. "The silent treatment? And I was so _certain_ that you would be interested in these photos I brought..."

Many pairs of eyes looked sidelong at Nabiki and what lay on her desk.

"Are those... pictures of Kuno-Sempai?" one asked.

"The one they call Blue Thunder?" added another.

"The very one," Nabiki said. "Good pictures, too. Even I admit he's quite handsome, in his way. And rich, of course, and from a well-respected family, believe it or not. Not really my type, but... if you girls are going to ignore me, then I'll just have to destroy these..."

"No!" several girls shouted in unison.

Nabiki smirked. "I'm _so_ glad to hear that, ladies. I brought several sets for _just_ such an occasion..."

One girl glared at Nabiki, still defiant. "You poor, poor girl. Having to hustle to make ends meet, selling photos just to get by."

"DId you not want any, then?"

"No, no! I didn't mean that!" The girl snatched up a set of her own.

XXX

Miyuki passed her sketchbook to Tomari and Sachiko between classes. Tomari studied the newest sketch. She raised an eyebrow. "Is this...?"

"Yes!' Miyuki said excitedly. "My costume design for Ranma for the fight on Saturday!"

Sachiko nodded. "Not bad," she said. "Very magical girl, and yet she should be able to fight in this."

"That's the whole idea," Miyuki replied.

"Then you got her measurements last night?" Sachiko asked.

"Oh yes, of course," MIyuki said. "I've already given the preliminary designs to my staff to work on. They should have a prototype ready this evening. Finished product by Friday, easy. Oh, there's an extra copy for each of you two -- I want to put this design in the manga somewhere."

"Which leaves us with just one question," said Tomari. "_How_ do you expect to convince Ranma to wear this outfit? In public no less?"

"Oh, don't worry about that," Miyuki said. "I've got a plan..."

"You always do," said Tomari. "That's what worries me."

Miyuki grinned. "What would you two say to the idea of starting our own school club?"

XXX

"Well, that was stupid," Ranma groused as she made her way with Akane outside for lunch.

"Well, Miss Shindou may have a point, Ranma. You _do_ squint to read the blackboard. When you actually _bother_, I mean."

"Hey, I've been trying _hard_ to pay attention!"

"Exactly. That's why I never noticed before now."

Ranma shrugged. It was another beautiful Fall day. The sun was high overhead, but the weather was cool. Day by day the emerald lawn of the school was disappearing beneath a leafy blanket of red, gold, and brown.

The two picked the same tree as the previous day and sat beneath it. Ranma sat her two bento lunches in front of her with obvious relish.

"Of course I squint," Ranma said, continuing their conversation. "The blackboard's far away."

"I don't have a problem reading it," Akane replied. "Most students don't."

"So? That don't mean I need glasses."

"Your father wears glasses, after all," Akane said. "It wouldn't be odd for you to need them too. How young was he when he started wearing them, do you know?"

"No idea," Ranma said, before stuffing the contents of the first bento into her mouth.

"Mr. Saotome? I've seen pictures of him in high school," Nabiki said. She sat down beside them "He had glasses then." She smiled sweetly and added, "You two don't mind if I join you, do you?"

"Not at all," Akane replied darkly. "All the weirdos eat with us."

"Oh?" Nabiki made a big show of opening up her bento. "Is that so?"

Ranma eyed the middle sister warily. "When did you ever see a picture of Pops in high school?" she asked.

"I researched your family a while back," Nabiki replied. She smiled sweetly and added, "I probably know more about your past than you do, Ranma-chan!"

Ranma looked surprised, but had no reply.

"Doesn't it affect your martial arts?" Akane asked. "Not being able to see, I mean."

"Not that I've ever noticed," Ranma said. "And I can see just fine. I'm not blind like duck-boy."

Akane nodded. "But better vision might make you an even _better_ fighter, Ranma."

Ranma blinked in surprise. "You... you really think so?"

"Well, obviously…" Akane said.

The three ate their lunches in silence. Ranma eyed Nabiki's bento hungrily.

"See something you like, Saotome?" Nabiki asked.

"I just miss Kasumi's lunches, that's all," Ranma replied.

"Ranma!" Akane growled. "You've got _two_ very good lunches, one from your mother and one from Miyuki!"

"Well, yeah," Ranma replied. "But I could eat three, especially if the third were Kasumi's."

"I can't believe you! How is it you eat so much and never get fat?"

"High metabolism," Ranma replied, stuffing her face once more.

After a moment, Nabiki said, "There are rumors flying about the school concerning you two..."

"That we're lesbians?" Ranma asked. Akane began to choke, her face turning red.

"My, Ranma," Nabiki said. "I had no idea you even _knew_ that word, let alone the meaning of it!"

Ranma shrugged. "Let people talk. I don't care. It's not like it's more embarrassing than what people said about me at Furinkan."

"But_ these_ rumors involve _me_," Akane growled. "Maybe _you_ don't care if people think you're a pervert, but _I do_."

"Oh, come on, Akane," Nabiki said. "This was inevitable, wasn't it? If you were going to stick with Ranma then eventually people were going to say these things. You must have seen it coming."

Akane looked at her sister blankly. "Why would I see this coming?"

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I suggest you get used to it." She smirked and added, "Anyway, it's not like it's the first time is it?"

Akane continued to look like she was missing out on some joke. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't you remember?" Nabiki said. "Your grade school friend, the girl with the dark skin. You two were inseparable."

"Nabiki, get real. Having a close girl friend doesn't make you a pervert, especially when you're in grade school."

Nabiki studied Akane for a moment, then added, "You really don't remember this, do you? You had this friend, I forget her name now. You two were very close. You started telling people that you were going to get married. Daddy explained why that couldn't happen, but you wouldn't accept it. You said that you didn't like boys and that you and your friend would get married one day, even though you were both girls."

Akane's eyes grew wide. "I... I _never_ said that..."

"Oh yes, you did. You can ask Kasumi if you like, she'll tell you. Of course, you were only in third grade at the time. Then your friend moved away. I guess you just eventually forgot all about it."

Akane stared at Nabiki, but it was quite obvious that her older sister wasn't joking. "I really said that?" Nabiki nodded. "Well," Akane added, turning back to her lunch, "I was in third gradE. I mean, I don't even _remember_ it..."

"Hey, Ranma. Hey, Akane. Who's your beautiful, sophisticated friend here?"

Tall, blonde, tanned and beautiful, Kaida Genji was standing there with a grin that promised guile and indecent intent. For once in her life, Nabiki looked genuinely shocked, as if the girl's greeting and open, near-lecherous look were a punch to the stomach. Of course, being Nabiki, she recovered almost instantly. "My my," she said. '"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were flirting with me."

"Then I suggest you get to know me better," Kaida replied, eyes dancing. "That way you can know for sure. I _always_ flirt with girls as pretty as you."

Again, Nabiki's cool demeanor seemed to crack for _just_ a second. She smiled sweetly and held out her hand. "You would be Kaida Genji," she said. "I've heard _so_ much about you."

Kaida giggled. "Oh, my reputation precedes me?"

"It does indeed. My name is Nabiki Tendo. I'm Akane's older sister."

"The pleasure is all mine, Miss Tendo," Kaida replied. She bent to kiss the back of Nabiki's hand. For a third time inside a minute, Nabiki appeared to be momentarily at a loss for words.

Akane glared at the two of them. "You two should be ashamed of yourselves," she said.

"Or at least we could get a hotel room, ne, Akane?" Kaida replied.

"Kaida!" Akane looked shocked.  
"Shame? I'm afraid I don't know the meaning of the word," Kaida replied airily. She sat down and opened her bento. "How are you girls doing today?"

"Fine," Ranma replied. "No fights yet."

Kaida raised an eyebrow. "That's good, is it?" She paused, then added, "And how did your sleeve get ripped?"

"Ninja throwing star," Ranma replied automatically. "And that don't even count! She was looking for _Pops_, not me!"

For a moment the four girls ate in silence. Then a muscular girl with dark skin and dark, curly hair sat down next to Kaida. "Hey, Ranma, Akane, Kaida. Who's your new friend?"

"Nabiki Tendo, may I introduce you to my very close and less sophisticated friend Akela Leilani," said Kaida. "Akela, this is Nabiki Tendo, Akane's lovely older sister."

Akela smiled. "Don't let her drool on you too much," she said to Nabiki.

"Duly noted," Nabiki replied.

"So you're attending St. Hebereke's too?" Akela continued. "Welcome." She paused, then added, "I assume you're getting the cold shoulder just like Ranma and Akane?"

"Oh, something like that," Nabiki said.

"Well, welcome to the club of social outcasts. Although if any more join, we're going to be the biggest clique in the school. Then what?"

"Then the revolution comes!" Kaida said with a snicker.

"Leilani," Nabiki mused. "That's Hawaiian, isn't it?"

Akela nodded. "Dad's Hawaiian. He owns a chain of clothing stores, both here and in the U.S.. Mom's Japanese."

"And _my_ daddy owns _everything_!" Kaida exclaimed.

"Don't believe her." Kohana was there, appearing suddenly as she always did and looking as gloomy and emotionless as ever. She held a small black kitten in her arms, along with her lunch. "Kaida's father is only worth a couple hundred billion yen, at best," she added, seating herself.

Nabiki's eyes widened in shock. "A _couple hundred billion..._"

"Only!" Kaida replied. "What do you mean by _only_?"

Kohana raised an eyebrow. "Really, Kaida. Is your father even in the top 500 ranking by Forbes?"

"Well, of _course_ he is," Kaida replied. "Somewhere in the top 300, if I remember correctly."

"Top 300?" Kohana said. "I rest my case, even so."

Nabiki's hand went to her mouth. She glanced at Kaida anew. "Do you mean to say you're the daughter of Mr. Hirohito Genji?"

Kaida beamed. "There, you see? _Nabiki_ knows who we are!" She frowned, then added, "Oh, but where are my manners? Kohana, this is..."

"Nabiki Tendo, Akane's older sister," Kohana replied. "The famous Ice Queen of Furinkhan High."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. Kaida looked somewhat put out. '"Yes, yes," she said. "Nabiki, this gloomy girl is..."

"Kohana Honda," Nabiki inserted, "who claims to be a witch. And who..." her eyes widened at the sudden realization, "I assume is the daughter of Tochigi Honda himself?"

"My grandfather, actually," Kohana replied. "Then Akane told you about us?"

Nabiki nodded, her moth dry. "Although it seems she left out a few important details..."

"Hey! I _told_ you she was rich!" Akane exclaimed.

"Akane, rich doesn't _begin_ to cover it." Nabiki returned her attention to Kaida, who, despite being somewhat miffed, still eyed Nabiki with the sort of look that suggested she'd like to strip her naked on the spot. Few _guys_ gave Nabiki that look, truth be told. Nabiki shifted uncomfortably and smiled. It was far weaker than her usual smirk or fake-as-plastic grin.

"What's with the kitten?" Akane asked. The black ball of fur was greedily devouring a fried shrimp from Kohana's bento.

"It's a test," Kohana replied. "Here, Ranma." She placed the cat in Ranma's lap.

Ranma went stiff. "Kohana," she said, her voice strained. "You _know_ I don't like cats…."

"Of course." Kohana took the kitten back. "But she _is_ cute, is she not?"

"Sure. Cute kitten."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Wow, Ranma. You've gotten better."

"We've been helping Ranma with her ailurophobia," Kohana said.

"She's a _very_ cute kitten," Akane said. Then, at the same time, Ranma and Akane asked, "What's her name?"

Kohana flashed that look that was almost-but-not-quite a smile. "Jinx," she said.

XXX

In a secluded spot to the side of the school, Miyuki Gojo was pacing back and forth, her cell phone glued to her ear.

"No, I've got no idea what color she likes," Miyuki said. "Hmm, I don't remember. It was just a normal restaurant inside. You know, white walls, maybe off-white, tacky vinyl floor, that sort of thing. I don't know. I just want it to look classy, okay? Yes, I know it's expensive, but I want it done by this evening. Daddy gave me a good budget didn't he? Well then? Red and gold? Like dark red? Green marble? Yeah, whatever, that sounds good. I trust your judgment, Miss Okomoto."

There was a long pause, and Miyuki said, "Well, I just wanted to make sure it was going well. I have a lot on my mind, you know. I'm trying to keep on top of everything. I've got Ranma's friendship to win, a school club to establish, a battle costume to create, an Okonomiyaki restaurant to open, a student to transfer, my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to prepare for, and my bride to murder...I'm swamped!"

There was another long pause. "That's a joke," Miyuki said. "No, I'm not planning a wedding, nor a murder. No, not an anniversary either. Sheesh, haven't you _ever_ seen _Princess Bride_? Oh, I didn't realize. It's one of my favorite movies. Well, actually, it's _Tomari's_ favorite movie, but I've seen it so many times because of her and it's actually a lot of fun. I need to force you to watch it someday. No, I realize. Dad doesn't pay you to watch movies. Look, Miss Okomoto, just forget about it. As for the restaurant, I leave everything in your hands. Be sure to have me picked up after school, I want to be there when Ukyo arrives."

Miyuki pressed the off button. A moment later, the phone was lifted from her hands.

"Hey, that's mine!" Miyuki yelled, spinning about. "Give that back!"

Miyuki froze. Standing before her were four older boys -- large, stupid, muscular men who would have been perfect as extras in a Yakuza movie. The one in the center, who seemed to be the leader, had hair that stood straight up, black with a blond streak through the center. He was holding her phone. He laughed like bully about to kick a kitten just to hear it yowl.

"Who are you guys?" Miyuki demanded. "You're not students here."

"You got that right, girl," one said.

XXX

"Ranma," Nabiki said, "your purse is singing." She paused, then added, "the _Sailor Moon_ theme, if I'm not mistaken."

Ranma blinked. She stared at her purse in confusion. Most of the time she really didn't even know _why_ she had to carry it around. Then her eyes lit up. "Oh! It's my phone!"

"You have a cell phone?" Nabiki asked. Her face began to tick in irritation.

"Yeah. Miyuki got it for me." Ranma rummaged around and produced the gaudily-decorated object.

"Sailor Moon, Ranma?" Nabiki asked.

"It's Sailor _Mercury_, of course," Ranma retorted. She held the phone up to her ear. "Miyuki? What's the..." Ranma's voice trailed off as her face went pale. She was quiet for a moment, then said, "Sure, I'll come. Alone? Where? Listen, you jerk," her voice suddenly grew vicious. "If you've done anything to Miyuki, I'll..."

She paused. "Jerk hung up on me," she said, closing the phone.

"Ranma," Akane said, "what was that about?"

"I... uh..." For a moment she looked into Akane's eyes. "It's nothing," she said.

"Ranma?"

"It's none of your business!" Ranma growled. She leaped to her feet. "I've gotta go."

Akane grabbed Ranma's arm. "No! Not until you tell me what this is about!"

"Akane, I don't want to get you into any trouble..."

"Sheesh, Ranma. Maybe you should have never come to Nerima then? Or is this something different from facing down demons and being kidnapped by weird Princes..."

"Akane," Ranma said, "They've got Miyuki."

Akane's eyes blazed. "Who?"

"Those street thugs." Ranma paused, then grabbed Akane's hands in hers. "Look, 'Kane, Don't get mad. I should have told you this before, but I was in this fight yesterday..."

Akane pulled her hands free impatiently. "Yes, yes, I know. Miyuki told me. What's this about?"

Ranma frowned. "Some guy. Sounded like the gang leader or something. He said they have Miyuki, and I'm to come alone."

Akane sucked in her breath. "Those jerks!" she growled. "Well, I'm coming too."

"No!" Ranma pleaded. "Look, this guy sounded serious..."

"He's a street punk," Akane retorted. "Are you saying I can't handle a street punk? Ranma, we've fought _much_ worse..."

"Yeah, 'Kane, but I'm going to get in trouble with Mom for this," Ranma replied. "There's no way out of it; it's a given. I don't want you in trouble too."

Akane laughed. "Like I said, Ranma: if you didn't want me in trouble, you should have stayed in China."

Ranma sighed. "Yeah, yeah, okay then. Just don't yell at me afterwards. It's not my fault. But truth is, I can probably use the help. I'm sure he brought friends..."

"I'm going too," Akela said, standing.

"Akela," Ranma replied, "this ain't no game..."

"You're going to need help," Akela said. "I'm tough. I know martial arts. _Real_ martial arts, not some fancy moves I learned in a dojo, Ranma. If these guys are gangsters then they're not going to fight fair. You need someone who knows what actual fighting means."

Ranma stared at the half-Hawaiian girl for a moment. She certainly _looked_ strong -- as powerfully built as Akane. Didn't she play rugby, too? Of course, that didn't mean she was prepared for an all-out brawl of the sort Akane and Ranma expected, but still...

"Yeah, okay," Ranma said. "But whatever happens, it ain't my fault, got it?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Girl's School**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Gray clouds gathered overhead. Leaves scattered across pavement, chased by a breeze that promised rain. It was just past Noon as Ranma ran out the school gates and down the sidewalk, several girls trailing after her.

The stone wall that surrounded the school was on her left. Beyond it could be seen the soccer field. As she approached the street corner, the ground fell away and the wall grew taller, to where she could no longer see over it.

Across the street and half a block further down was an empty parking lot. Ranma slowed as she approached it. Standing there was a large gang of boys and girls. Ranma did a quick count – there were over thirty of them.

Miyuki was there, trapped between two thuggish boys. In the center of the group was a tall, muscular boy with a stubble chin and blond hair that stood straight up. Ranma assumed he was the leader.

Just as Ranma came into view, she heard the leader ask, "Is she coming?"

"Of course," Miyuki replied.

Ranma stood at the edge of the parking lot, arms crossed. "It's the middle of a school day, you know," she called out. "Shouldn't you boys and girls be in school?"

"Ranma!" Miyuki exclaimed. "Did you bring my video recorder?"

Ranma stared at her blankly. "Your what?"

"My video recorder! How can I video tape the fight without it?"

Ignoring the lunatic girl, Ranma walked towards the blond bully, who smirked. "I'm surprised you came, Red," the guy said. "We're going to give you a beating you won't soon forget."

"If you say so," Ranma replied. "My name is Ranma, by the way. Ranma Saotome. Now what's this about?"

"You _know _what this is about, Red," the blond guy replied. "You beat up some of Goku Kenji's girls...."

"Some of who's girls?" Ranma asked.

"Goku Kenji!" the blond snarled. "Me! This is my gang!"

"What," Ranma replied, "like the Dragonball character? What's your power level, then?"

Fury filled the blond boy's face. "You got a big mouth for such a little girl. I'm going to enjoy this...."

Ranma shrugged. "Your 'girls' attacked my friend Miyuki," Ranma replied. "What am I supposed to do, stand by and watch them rough her up?"

"You shouldn't have gotten involved," Goku growled. "Now it's payback time. We're here to teach you a lesson."

Ranma settled into a relaxed, defensive stance. "Lots of people want to do that," she said. "Too bad, 'cause I'm just no good at learning."

"Tough talk for a girl who's about to get sliced up," one of the others said.

"You guys sound like a broken record. Are we going to fight, or not?"

Just then Ranma heard footsteps behind her as Akane and Akela arrived. Goku frowned. "You brought friends? I thought I told you to come alone!" A moment later he laughed. "Not that it matters. Bring as many rich little St. Hebereke girls as you like! It's not going to do you any good."

Akela and Akane took in the scene before them. Akane settled into a defensive stance next to Ranma. Akela began to back up. "Ranma, Akane," Akela said, "there's too many of them." There was alarm in her voice.

"More than I expected, yeah," Ranma replied. "What do you think, 'Kane?"

"How many is that, thirty?" Akane asked. "We've faced worse...."

XXX

As usual, Nabiki Tendo arrived for the fight late enough to not be mistaken for a participant, but early enough to get a good look at what was about to take place and calculate the odds.

With her were Kohona Honda and Kaida Genji.

"Oh my god!" Kaida exclaimed as they came within sight of the gang. "Call the police! Call the police!"

"No, _don't _call the police," Nabiki replied. "Trust me, they want nothing to do with this. They'll just get in the way." She studied the crowd. "I count thirty-six, versus three. Does that sound right?"

"Nabiki, they're going to get killed!"

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Who is?"

"Ranma, Akane and Akela!" Kaida exclaimed.

"Care to bet on that?" Nabiki asked.

"Bet? Bet? Nabiki, those are your _sisters_...."

"Saotome is not my sister," Nabiki snapped. "I'll thank you to remember that. And trust me, Ranma and Akane can handle this. The only unknown is Akela...how good a fighter is she?"

"She's good, but...Nabiki, it's 30 against 3! Nobody's _that _good!"

"Then you're about to be enlightened," Nabiki replied. She studied the crowd again. "Average fighter, huh? She can probably take three or four. That leaves quite a lot for Ranma and Akane...."

"Nabiki...." Kaida began.

"Tell me, Kaida, who is the katana girl that fights her own security detail in front of the gates every morning?"

Kaida stared at Nabiki, mouth open. "Shizuko Satori," Kohana said.

Kaida threw up her hands, exasperated. "What about her? What does _she _have to do with anything?"

"That cute little pantomime of hers...do you know _why _she does that, Kaida?"

"Nabiki, this isn't the time...." Kaida warned.

"Just answer the question," Nabiki replied patiently.

Kaida gave her an exasperated look. "Oh, I don't know... there was some story of a girl elsewhere in Tokyo who had to fight off dozens of boys every morning before school started. Dumb story, but Shizuko decided she could do better."

"Indeed," Nabiki said. "That story was true. My sister Akane is that girl. And quite frankly, Satori's little farce is a pale imitation of the original. You're about to witness the real deal.

"So... as I said before, care to place a wager?"

XXX

As thirty-six gang members spread out and surrounded the three St. Hebereke girls, Ranma said, "Look, I'd love to fight you guys, but it's the middle of a school day like I said. Would it be ok with you if we rescheduled for Sunday morning?"

Akane's eyes boggled as she stared at Ranma.

"You afraid, little girl?" Goku asked with a sneer. He cracked his knuckles in anticipation of the coming fight.

"No," Ranma said. "See, my Mom's principal here at St. Hebereke's, and she don't like me fightin' all the time, 'specially during school hours. I'll get in trouble if I beat you guys up right now."

"Girl, you got worse problems than what your Momma's going to do to you. You got to worry about what _we're _going to do to you."

"Yeah, whatever," Ranma replied. She glanced at Akane and Akela. "You two are my witnesses. I _tried _to reason with them first..."

"Ranma!" Akane yelled, as a bat came at the redhead from her blind side. Ranma dropped low and in the same motion performed a leg sweep, toppling her attacker. She came up as he went down, grabbing his wrist in the process. In the time it took to blink, she was standing on top of him, twisting his arm back.

"You guys aren't even going to fight fair, are you?" Ranma asked. As if in answer more bats and clubs and even a few knives appeared among the crowd of goons. Ranma grinned. "_Good_. Now I don't even gotta hold back...."

"These guys mean business," Akela snarled. "You two get out of here. I'll try and hold them off."

"Not a chance," Ranma replied. Her head bobbed back as a brass-knuckled fist swung for her face.

"Ranma, they've got weapons!"

"Yeah, I see 'em," Ranma said. She caught the arm of another attacker and, using the momentum of his punch, tossed him over her shoulder. "Makes things more interesting. Can you guys handle ten each?"

"Uh..." Akela said.

Akane blocked a punch and then delivered a roundhouse kick to the side of her attacker's head.

"Sure, I'm on it," she called out.

"Good," Ranma replied. She dodged two more attackers. "That leaves twenty for me, then."

"Sixteen," Akane corrected, launching another attacker airborn with a powerful punch.

"Is that all?" Ranma replied, as she sent someone flying. "Well, then, I'll take twenty, and you two take the other twelve. Got it?"

That's only thirty-two, Ranma," Akane said. By now she and Ranma were spinning, whirling, kicking and punching as they had back on Ranma's first mornings at Furinkhan. Akane was all fury and power, lashing out in every direction with kicks and punches. Ranma flowed between her opponents like water, looking for all the world like she wasn't expending any effort at all.

Nearby, Nabiki watched with a smug I-told-you-so expression, while Kaida stared in shock. Kohana looked on with interest, if not any actual surprise.

"Ah, who the hell cares?" Ranma growled. "There's already a lot less of them anyway."

Akela was not as fast as Akane, let alone Ranma, but her punches were powerful. Her first two opponents went down quickly and did not move again. She was as strong as she looked. She blocked the punch of a third attacker and kicked him in the crotch, proving that she also wasn't afraid to fight dirty. Ranma saw this and winced, but she approved. After all, fighting dirty was one of the core tenets of the anything-goes style, even if Genma never called it that.

Ranma would never have admitted it, but if there was anything combat-related where Akane was nearly her equal, it was fighting multiple enemies at once. It wasn't really that Akane was as _good _at it as Ranma, but she did have a great deal of experience. Every morning, week after week, Akane had battled 20-30 boys in front of Furinkhan. They may not have been skilled opponents, and they may not have all been seriously trying to hurt her, but experience was experience. Fighting that many people at once took a lot of concentration. Ranma, for all her training, had rarely faced this many opponents at once.

Of course, Ranma had _practiced _such battles. Genma came up with clever ways to simulate multiple-enemy combat situations. This often involved pissing off a lot of locals and leaving Ranma to deal with them. There had been a handful of other times where Ranma had battled multiple opponents, but still, this was an excellent and rare opportunity for her to put theory into practice.

Fighting like this allowed her to enter an almost zen-like state. She spun, dodged, kicked, and avoided the next attack without conscious thought. Ranma turned from another collapsed opponent and realized that only the leader Goku was left. She was almost disappointed.

The dismantling of his gang happened so quickly that Goku had no time to react. He'd expected to watch and savor a severe beating before getting in a few final blows himself. Instead, three schoolgirls had defeated his entire gang inside three minutes.

Goku Kenji was in shock. As the redhead turned to face him, he realized he was also in over his head.

He grabbed Miyuki and placed a switchblade to her throat. "Don't come any closer, Red," he growled. "Otherwise your friend here gets cut bad. Got it?"

Ranma sighed. "Even the Amazons have more honor than you."

"I swear I'll do it!" Genji yelled.

"You two okay?" Ranma asked, looking back.

"I'm fine," Akane said. "Akela's got a cut on her arm."

"Don't worry about me," Akela said. "It's nothing."

"Miyuki," Ranma said, "do you trust me?

"Of course," Miyuki replied automatically.

"Don't try anything, bitch!" Goku growled. "You just stay where you are and don't move!"

Ranma held her hands up. "Look," she said. "I'm placing my hands on my head, okay? No tricks."

Goku nodded. "Now what?" Ranma asked. She shifted her feet.

"Now," Goku said, "I'm going to make you pay for insulting my gang...."

Ranma twitched her foot, causing a small rock to bounced onto the top of her shoe. She lifted her foot and spun. The rock flew out, striking Goku squarely between the eyes.

Goku's knife clattered to the pavement. His arm around Miyuki went limp. She ducked away as he slowly collapsed.

Miyuki looked down at Goku, then back to Ranma.

"Damnit!" she swore.

"Miyuki? Are you okay?" Akane asked.

"Of _course _I'm not okay," Miyuki wailed. "That was only the coolest thing to _ever _happen to me – well beyond anything I could _ever _manage to arrange on purpose – but I didn't get _any _of it on videotape!"

Akela was staring at Ranma and Akane with a newfound respect. "You two are _good_," she said. "I mean _really _good!"

Ranma shrugged. "I've been training my whole life," she said.

"Same," Akane added. "Just not quite as fanatically as Ranma. But you did great yourself, Akela." Akane grinned. "Thanks for the help. You're alright."

Akela smiled back.

Kaida turned to Nabiki. She held out a 10,000 yen note. "Here," she said.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "What's this for? We made no bet."

"No, but if I _had _been willing to bet, I'd have bet against Ranma and Akane. Take it. I won't doubt your word again."

Nabiki blinked, but quickly grabbed the money. "Thanks," she said. "But it was an easy call. Never bet against Ranma. Period."

"I'll keep that in mind," Kaida replied.

About that moment Goku stirred. He sat up. He looked about for his knife, but Ranma had kicked it out into the street.

The gang leader glared at Ranma. "You bitch!" he growled. "You better be watching your back because this is far from over!"

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "You want more?" she asked. "Fine by me."

"Give it a rest, Goku," someone else said. A tall girl in a St. Hebereke's uniform stepped out of the shadows of a nearby tree. She had long, black hair and a dangerous look in her eye. "Three girls just beat up your entire gang. Haven't you been embarrassed enough?"

Goku faced the new girl. "Yoriko? Stay out of this. It's got nothing to do with you."

"You attacked girls from my school," the new girl replied. "I'd say it's got _everything _to do with me. I'm warning you now: I'm _making _this my business. Don't come back here. Don't bother these girls again. If you do, I'll have something to say about it. You know who I am. Think it over."

Goku glared at the new girl for several long seconds, then turned to Ranma.

"Hey, Red, you hear that? We're square. This is over, okay?"

Ranma shrugged. "If you say so, sure."

Goku glared at his gang members who were groaning and slowly getting to their feet.

"Come on, you losers. We're out of here."

As the gang members gathered themselves and left, the new girl turned to Ranma. "Ranma Saotome, right?" she said. "You're good."

Ranma merely nodded.

"You're going to teach me how to fight like that. Got it?"

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "To fight like me, you'd have to start training at age five," she said.

"Yeah, well, you'll teach me as much as you can. We'll talk about it later. I'm Yoriko by the way. Yoriko Taoka."

As the strange girl walked away, Akela spoke in a low voice. "Stay away from that girl, Ranma. She's trouble."

"Oh?" Ranma asked. "What kind? Virtually every girl I know is trouble."

"You just don't want to get involved with someone like her," Akela said "She's not liked around here."

"What, she's worse than being poor, weird, socially outcast, or gay?"

"She's a yanki," Akela said. "You know – her father is a Yakuza boss. And yes, that _is _worse."

"Oh?" Ranma was surprised at this. "And they let her go to school here?"

"Of course. Her father has money. Several Yakuza girls attend St. Hebereke's. Money gets them in, but they're still on the bottom rung of the social ladder."

"I thought being poor or lesbian was as low socially as you got."

"Don't be silly. I may be gay, and I may be half Hawaiian, but I'm still the daughter of respected family. Despite what Kohana or Kaida might have told you, family wealth only grants you so much status at this school. Even more important is your familiy's status. The Hondas and the Genjis are very well respected families. Yakuza are just groups of thieves, liars, and murderers."

"Really?" Ranma said. "That sounds like Pops...."

XXX

Ranma's mother stared at her from behind the Vice Principal's desk. "Ranma," she said, "is this going to happen every single evening?"

"I really don't know," Ranma replied. "It's never _my _idea...."

"I thought we had an agreement," Nodoka said. "_No _fighting during school, or during the week. Saturday and Sunday, if scheduled in advance and challenges are issued properly..."

"Mom," Ranma began, then sighed. "It's all my fault," she said. "Let everyone else go and just punish me."

"Mrs. Saotome," Akane exclaimed, "they were going to _hurt _Miyuki if Ranma didn't go!"

"That's right," Akela added. "They had knives!"

"They kidnapped me right from school campus," Miyuki said. "If Ranma hadn't come, I don't know _what _would have happened to me!"

"All true," Nabiki added. "Also, Ranma told the rest of us not to come, and she also asked the gang leader to re-schedule the fight for this weekend. I heard her. So, as you can see, she really _did _try to stick to your rules and not involve others."

Nodoka Saotome eyes Nabiki for a moment. "Nabiki, you seem quick to come to my daughter's defense. Are not the two of you vying to see who can be the better school girl?"

"Yes, of course," Nabiki replied. "But that is hardly a reason for me to not tell the truth, _especially_ when I can't profit by lying. In point of fact, if I expect to win then telling the truth is all but required of me, yes?"

Nodoka inclined her head. "That's a very good point, Nabiki-chan, and one I hadn't considered." She returned her gaze to Ranma. "Very well. I do admit there were extenuating circumstances. However, if I understand the sequence of events, all of this was in response to a fight that happened yesterday? Off campus, in the middle of the school day?" Ranma nodded, and Nodoka said, "Ranma, I can overlook some things, but this is only your third day at St. Hebereke's, and I find that you've already been involved in at least four fights – _that I know about_." She paused to level a penetrating stare at Ranma, and added, "There haven't been any fights that I _don't _know about, have there?"

"Ah..." Ranma said. "There was a ninja girl who attacked me on the way to school this morning. But that was a case of mistaken identity – she was looking for Pops."

Nodoka sighed.

"Ranma, I realize that not all of these are your fault. Still, this cycle of chaos seems to follow you everywhere. You will have a hard time living up to my academic expectations if we can't find a way to break it.

"As of now, you are grounded for the rest of the week."

"Grounded?" Ranma glanced up sharply. "But...."

"That's not fair!" Miyuki exclaimed.

"I think I'm being quite fair, Miyuki," Nodoka replied. "And with all due respect, Miss Gojo, I think you have _contributed _to the chaos in my daughter's life. Ranma, this will be for the best. A few days of heading straight home to study will help you focus on your schoolwork and hopefully avoid more of these situations."

Ranma bowed her head. "I understand, Mother."

Kaida, who had been silent, spoke up. "Vice Principal Saotome, isn't it true that Ranma's main problem is studying? If so, I think we could help. We could form a sort of study group and help her with her homework. Rin and I in particular are excellent students, as I'm sure you know, and Miyuki is quite smart as well."

"My sister and I rank near the top of our respective classes," Kohana said.

""That's a very generous offer, Miss Genji," Nodoka said. "But I'm afraid Ranma will need to come straight home after school. I can't ground her and then lift those restrictions one minute later."

"Then we can come over and study at your house," Kaida said. "If that's okay with you, that is."

The Vice Principal brightened. "Why, that's a very good suggestion, Kaida." She smiled. "I'm glad my daughter has made such good friends so quickly."

"No!" Akane yelled. "She can't come over!" Nodoka fixed Akane with a piercing stare. Akane shifted uncomfortably. "That is...having more girls over would just be a distraction. Besides, tonight's not a good night," she added lamely.

"Akane's quite right, actually," said Mrs. Saotome. "Tonight isn't the best night. Ranma has an appointment with the eye doctor right after school."

"Huh? I do?" Ranma asked in surprise. Her mother nodded. "But, Mom, I _don't _need glasses...."

"Miss Shindou seems to think otherwise," Nodoka replied. "I value her judgment. In any case, if I know my husband then you've never actually _had _an exam, have you? Getting one won't hurt, and it might even possibly help. I expect you to be here five minutes after school is out."

Ranma sank further into her chair. "Great," she said glumly. "That's just...."

"That goes for the rest of you girls too," Nodoka said. "I expect to see _all _of you here after school for an hour of detention, and that's being _quite _lenient. Now, you're all late for afternoon class, so you had better get moving...."

After the girls had filed from the room, the door to the Principal's office opened. A balding man in a business suit stood there, arms crossed.

"I've spoken to the Principal of Kurosaki High," he said. "He said he'll do what he can, but the kids involved are delinquents. He has little control over them."

Nodoka sighed. "Kidnapping one of our students right off of our campus. I never would have thought...."

"We'll add more security for the next few weeks, of course," the Principal said. "Still, what your two daughters did was very brave. Three against thirty? I would have liked to have seen that."

Nodoka frowned. "Principal!" she scolded. "Should you say such things when a student might hear them?"

"Of course not." The man smiled. "You must be quite proud of your daughters, Mrs. Saotome."

"Oh, yes," Nodoka said, eyes shining. "I am."

XXX

Another school day came to an end. Ukyo walked home, kicking through the dry leaves that covered the sidewalk. As she neared U-Chan's she noticed a large truck parked on the street. Men in work uniforms were loading boxes.

Ukyo came to a slow halt. She watched as two men carefully walked a large kitchen sink through the front door of her restaurant, then loaded it into the back of the van. Ukyo cursed under her breath. What the hell was going on here? She grasped her battle spatula and ran forward. "Hey! Stop that!" she commanded. "What the _hell _do you think you're doing? That's my stuff!"

A woman in a sharp business suit with a clipboard glanced up. "Ah," she said, sticking out her hand. "Ukyo Kuonji, isn't it?"

"Yes! This is _my _restaurant, and I...."

"My name is Miss Okomoto," the woman continued. "There's nothing to worry about, Miss Kuonji. We'll have everything unpacked at the new location inside three hours."

Ukyo blinked. "New location? What are you talking about?"

"Per orders of your new business partner. I have some papers here for you to sign, if you'll give me just a minute of your time...."

"_Business partner_? I don't _have _a business partner!"

"Miss Miyuki Gojo?" said Miss Okomoto. "I work for her. I realize that you run the actual business, but she's the one paying the lease on the new location, and for the remodeling and equipment upgrades too, of course. Now, if you could just sign here...."

"Like hell I will," Ukyo growled. She crossed her arms. "Where_ is _Miss Gojo?"

"She should be leaving school about now," the woman said. "She'll be heading straight to the new location. Really, Miss Kuonji, you _did _enter into an agreement with my employer, did you not? She's gone to a lot of trouble so that you can attend St. Hebereke School for Girls...."

"Well... yes, we talked about _that_, but...."

"I just need a few signatures...." Miss Okomoto headed into Ukyo's restaurant... what was left of it. Ukyo followed, still confused and angry.

"Look," she said, "how did you get in here? The place was locked, and I'm the only one with a key!"

Inside, the place was already quite bare. Most of what she owned had been packed up and loaded. Out of habit Ukyo moved behind the counter, where she felt most comfortable.

"Not true," Miss Okomoto replied. "The landlady also has a key. She let us in."

"Oh, Ukyo, there you are dear!" An older woman appeared from the back room. She wrapped Ukyo in a tight hug, then held her at arm's length. "You silly girl! Why didn't you _tell _me that you were going to move? I'm going to miss you terribly, not to mention your wonderful okonomiyaki!"

"Mrs. Itou," Ukyo said. "You shouldn't have let these people in. I think there's been some mistake...."

"No mistake," Miss Okomoto replied. She spread some papers on the counter. "Now, before they pack away the last flat surface in here, let's go over this. I have a business contract for your new partnership, the new lease, and several other papers to sign and approve, and then we have the transfer papers and your new school schedule to go over...."

"But..." Ukyo began, then threw up her hands. "You can't _do _this!" she exclaimed. "With no consultation nor warning...."

"You _do _wish to attend St. Hebereke, don't you?" Miss Okomoto asked.

Ukyo stared at the woman, dumbfounded.

"Well, of course, I...." she began.

"Well, you can _hardly _run a restaurant that's located so far from your school," the woman replied. "I would have thought that was self-evident. I _tried _to persuade Miss Gojo that you didn't even _need _a business, but she's convinced that you enjoy being a restaurateur."

"Of course I do," Ukyo replied. "I've _always _been a chef. But... I don't even know where... I mean, I haven't even seen... look, don't I get _any _say in this?"

Miss Okomoto smiled. "Trust your partner, Miss Kuonji," she said. "And trust me. I picked out the new location personally, and I have every confidence that you will approve of it once you see it. You need not sign the lease until then, if you like. All costs are being paid by Miss Gojo, but I'm quite sure she wants your approval in this. You should at least withhold judgment until you see the new Uchan's."

Ukyo sighed. "Yes, okay," she said. "I'll look at it. I'll reserve judgment until then. But...this is all so sudden. What if I _don't _like it? You've already uprooted my entire life!"

"You _will _like it. I have faith," said Miss Okomoto. "Otherwise we'll just find another location. Now, I have your temporary school ID, your transfer paperwork, and your class schedule. Mis Gojo insisted that you be placed in the same home room as one Ranma Saotome...."

Ukyo's face lit up. "The same home room as Ranchan? That's great!"

"There are some full color flyers here for your new store; you can leave them so that your customers know where you've gone. Also, I need to measure you for your uniform...."

Ukyo stared at the flyers. They looked far more professional than anything she'd ever had printed for her store before. "Uchan's has moved!" it said in a bright yellow script. "Come visit our new, larger restaurant across town!" There was an address and even a small map to show how to get there.

"Wow, these look nice."

"Thank you," Miss Okomoto said. She held a measuring tape to Ukyo's waist, jotting numbers down. "Ok, that's the skirt... I just need your jacket size..."

"What a second... uniform? Skirt?" Ukyo's frown returned. "I wear a boy's uniform...."

"St. Hebereke's is a school for _girls_, as I'm sure you know," Miss Okomoto said. "There _is _no boy's uniform."

"It doesn't matter;" Ukyo insisted. "I have my own uniforms."

""A St. Hebereke's uniform is required at all times, Miss Kuonji. This is not some public school where you're allowed to wear whatever you want."

"But... I'm not really into skirts and stuff...."

Miss Okomoto glared at her severely. "Really, Miss Kuonji, I suggest you learn."

XXX

Ranma sat in a dark room and fidgeted. She didn't like doctors. They were best avoided. Doctors gave you bad news. They gave you shots. They said that you were sick and about to die, and needed to spend money on medicine and costly operations. They bent your head sideways upon hearing the name of the girl they were infatuated with....

Well, perhaps that last one was specific to the only actual doctor Ranma had ever seen in the past ten years. Still, she wasn't comfortable here. If it weren't for the fact that her mother was waiting just outside, she might have already bolted.

The optometrist was young and female, two things that Ranma didn't associate with the medical profession. She seemed like a very nice woman, but Ranma was still wary, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Tell me Ranma," the doctor said, "does anyone else in your family wear corrective lenses?"

"Not that I know of," Ranma replied. After a moment she added, "Pops just wears glasses."

"Glasses, yes," the doctor replied.

"But that don't mean I gotta wear 'em," Ranma added.

"Of course it doesn't," the doctor replied. "Now, let's see what we shall see." She moved a strange contraption in front of Ranma. "Just peer through the lenses and read the chart on the wall for me."

There was a long pause. "Can you see the top row?" she asked.

"Yeah," Ranma replied.

"Can you read it for me?"

"Nah. It don't say nothin'."

"Just read each letter separately," she said.

"Okay," Ranma replied. After doing so, she added, "See, it don't spell anything. Is it supposed to be some foreign language maybe?"

"No, Ranma, it's just random letters. Have you never had an eye exam before?"

"Ah... no?" Ranma said.

"I see." The doctor made a note and then said, "Now the second line, please...."

The exam was simpler than Ranma had anticipated. It didn't involve twisting anybody's head sideways at all. She was surprised when they were done.

"That's it?" Ranma asked.

"That's the end of the exam, yes," the doctor replied, writing on her clipboard. "It seems, Ranma, that you have a classic case of simple myopia."

Ranma gripped the arms of the exam chair tightly. "I... I do? Is that contagious? Is there a cure?"

The doctor smiled. "No, Ranma, it's not. You're near sighted -- just like your father I suspect. You have 6/15 vision in your right eye and 6/20 vision in your left eye."

Ranma blinked. "Oh, nearsighted? Is that all?"

"That's right. With your right eye, you see at six meters what a normal person sees at twenty meters. You've heard of 20/20 vision yes? That's an American term based on feet – the metric equivalent is 6/6 vision.

"The result is you see things up close much better than you do at a distance."

"Well, of course," Ranma said. "That's true for everybody."

"Yes, but most people see things at a distance better than you do," the doctor replied. She led Ranma back into the main office, which seemed quite bright after the dim exam room.

"Does this mean I gotta wear glasses?" Ranma asked.

"You don't _have _to do anything, Ranma," the doctor said. "But you should try them out at least. You may be surprised at how much you've been missing."

Ranma nodded; that seemed like a reasonable request. "Yeah, okay doc, I'll try them."

"Good. Now, your insurance covers two pair every two years. It's a good idea to have a spare pair in case one is lost or broken."

Ranma looked surprised again. "I've got insurance?"

"Your mother does, yes." The doctor handed Ranma's fake glasses back to her. "If you like these frames, then I can order two pair in something similar?"

Ranma shrugged. "Sure, I guess."

XXX

Ukyo had been bewildered to discover her restaurant and house being torn down and moved. Seeing the new location left her nearly senseless. This was no mere hole-in-the-wall eatery or glorified food stand, this was a large restaurant with perhaps eight times the floor space. It was positioned on a street corner with large glass windows on two sides, and included an upstairs apartment that was itself larger than her entire previous shop had been.

The interior had been completely remodeled within the last twenty-four hours. Ukyo had a hard time believing that was even possible, but the evidence was before her. There were plush red booths with intimate lighting, red carpeting, a kitchen with gray stone tile, and gleaming brushed aluminum surfaces. The storeroom alone was as big as her old kitchen and was being stocked as she watched.

"Miyuki," Ukyo said, spinning about. "This place is _huge_. It's far too big. I can't run a restaurant this size...."

"Nonsense," Miyuki replied. "You just need to hire help, that's all. Uchan's is expanding. If you're going to run a restaurant, you might as well get serious about it. Anyway the place is already paid for."

Ukyo nodded. "I gathered as much. I mean, you wouldn't be doing all of this if you hadn't already rented the place...."

"Rent? Rent?" Miyuki rolled her eyes. "Who _rents _things? No, I _own _this restaurant. Well, I mean my _father _owns it, of course, but essentially it's mine to do with what I wish. He sees it as my first business investment, so I have to prove that I know what I'm doing. That means _don't _screw it up, okay?"

"But...I can't afford this...."

"Did I ask you for money? _I'm _paying for things, you run things. It's a partnership, right? One where I don't make any decisions about the day to day operations. After all, what do _I _know about running a restaurant? I leave that to you; you've been doing this for a long time."

"I've been a _cook _a long time," Ukyo replied. "You're asking me to run a business...to hire people, to manage them...."

"Are you saying you can't do it?"

Ukyo paused.

"No, of _course _I can do it," she said. "It's just a lot to take in all at once. You know, my plans for the evening were just to feed my customers and do my homework...."

Miyuki grabbed Ukyo's hand. "Look, there's something else you need to see." She lead the dazed chef around the corner and into a back room. "See? There's a really nice private room back here, perfect for large gatherings. A business group could meet here, or...a school club, for example."

Miyuki paused, then asked, "Are you in a school club, Ukyo?"

"Me? No, of course not. When I'm not in school I have a restaurant to run."

"Well, yes, of _course_," Miyuki said, "but you'll need someone to help run the place in the daytime, so if you _did _join a club then an extra hour after school wouldn't be a problem...."

"Miyuki, there's no school club that I'd want to join."

"Not _yet _anyway," Miyuki replied softly. Louder, she said, "But if there _were _one you wished to join, you'd be able to, eventually...."

Ukyo shrugged. "I'll need a day cook and manager first but...I suppose so...."

Miyuki steepled her hands together, and in her best Montgomery Burns voice said, "_Excellent_...."

XXX

"So you really need glasses?" Akane asked.

Ranma shrugged. She was laying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Suddenly being grounded didn't seem so bad – it felt nice to be able to just kick back and relax. "The doc said I didn't _need _to wear them, but that I should try them first."

"What kind did you get?" Akane asked. She was on her own side of the room. With the tall bookshelves and the curtained doorway between them, they couldn't see each other. For some reason Ranma found it annoying to talk to someone she wasn't able to look at.

"Um...just the normal kind, I guess," Ranma replied.

"Didn't you try on frames to see what you liked?"

"Nah," said Ranma. "The doc said if I liked these fake ones he could order two pair just like 'em, so I said fine. I didn't want to have to choose anyway, that's too much like shopping."

There was a long pause, then Akane said, "Ranma, those are obviously girl's glasses."

"Yeah. So? They make me look cute. You even said so."

"They _do _look cute," Akane replied. "But...insurance only covers two pair every two years, right?"

"Yeah, that's what the doc said."

"So don't you think you should have gotten at least one pair in a more masculine style? Or at least picked a style that could work for both your guy and girl sides? I mean, when you switch back to being a guy, these are going to look pretty stupid on you."

Ranma was silent for a moment.

"I didn't think of that," she finally replied.

"_Obviously_," Akane retorted.

After another moment, Ranma said, "Well, it's no problem. I'll just need to get another pair then."

"You'll have to pay for them," Akane said.

"Yeah, well, I'll figure that out if it happens," Ranma replied. "Or else I won't wear them when I'm a guy. It's not going to kill me."

XXX

Eventually the workers finished moving and installing and before Ukyo knew it, she was saying goodbye to Miyuki Gojo and locking the door behind her. She was suddenly alone in a very large room.

The silence was deafening.

Ukyo felt unsettled and bewildered. In three hours she'd switched schools, business locations, and homes. She had a new business partner and a much larger store to run, and no idea who she was going to hire to help run it or how she'd do as a manager of such a large enterprise.

Aside from Akane and Ranma she didn't know _anybody _at her new school. While it would hardly be the first time she'd shown up at a strange new school, always before there had been her great goal of revenge guiding her and her boyhood disguise to protect her. Tomorrow she'd be attending a new school as a girl, in a blouse and skirt. Overtly female clothing always made her feel naked and exposed, and this time she wouldn't even have the goal of winning Ranma's love to guide her, as she'd sworn a solemn oath to set that aside for two years until graduation.

She wandered into the kitchen and fired up the grill. If there was one thing that could take her mind off her problems, it was okonomiyaki. She'd already fixed dinner for Miyuki and Miss Okomoto and for some of the workers who had moved her restaurant too. Now she cooked once more for herself, and then sat and ate in the empty kitchen.

Ukyo cleaned up, turned off the lights, and headed upstairs to her new living quarters. She flopped down on her futon and lay there in the dark. She sighed. She stared up at her new school uniform, hanging against the far wall. She could just make it out by the dim glow of the digital alarm clock. She hadn't even tried it on. She was almost _dreading _having to wear it, although logically she knew that this was as much about her anxiety of facing a new school and being in charge of a new and much larger restaurant.

From outside she heard a noise. Someone or something was prowling about in the street below her window. Ukyo got up and looked out the window, but couldn't see anything.

Grabbing her battle spatula, she crept downstairs and slipped out into the street. Around the corner, at the back of the restaurant, she spotted a girl in red ninja garb digging through the garbage bin.

"There's nothing in there," Ukyo said. "It's just bits of tile and trim from the construction crew... the restaurant isn't even open yet."

Ignoring her, the girl continued to dig. "Hey! Didn't you hear me?" Ukyo exclaimed.

"But I'm starving!" the ninja girl whined. "I've been hunting Ranma for two days, and...."

"You're after _my _Ranma-chan?" Ukyo growled. Instantly she had her portable grill in front of her and was frying up an okonomiyaki special. 'If you think you can harass my fian... my _friend_," Ukyo yelled, writing her challenge onto the okonomiyaki's surface in a flowing script, "then here's what you get!"

The okonomiyaki sailed through the air. Like a dog chasing a frisbee, the ninja girl leaped high into the air and caught it in her mouth, swallowing it in one gulp.

"Hey!" Ukyo yelled. "You didn't even _read _it!" In the next moment the ninja girl was kowtowing before her, face pressed to the pavement.

"Oh thank you Mistress! Thank you so very, very much!"

Ukyo blinked in surprise. "You're _that _hungry?" she asked. "Well, come inside, I can make you some more...."

XXX

Ranma and Akane spent a quiet evening at home – something of a first for them, Ranma especially. They did their homework in their room. They ate dinner. They spent an hour in the back yard sparring. They took a bath afterwards – together, at the insistence of Nodoka, but while avoiding each other as much as possible.

Late in the evening they were in their room watching _Card Captor Sakura_. Watching anime hadn't been specifically banned as part of their being grounded, but then, Mrs. Saotome probably didn't even realize Ranma had the portable DVD player just yet. Accordingly, they had the sound turned down so that it was barely audible.

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Ranma called out. Forgetting that she was dressed in pajamas, she ran down the hallway to the living room and opened the door. A strange-looking Chinese man stood on their porch, a large basket in hand.

"Hello?" Ranma asked. "May I help you?"

"Ah, good evenings Miss," the man replied. "Your mother is at home? Mrs. Saotome?"

"Who is it?" asked Nodoka, stepping into the living room. "Oh, it's Mister Hou! How good to see you. Why don't you come in and sit down?"

Ranma watched as the strange man began to remove packages, bottles and vials from his basket. "I sorry to be coming so late," he said. "Very much business I have lately. Jusenkyo products very popular!"

"Jusenkyo products?" Ranma asked, ears perking up.

"Yes," her mother replied. "Mr. Hou was recommended to me by that nice Chinese woman Cologne. He sells the anti-transformation soap, and I said we'd want a good supply."

Ranma had never before heard Cologne referred to as a "nice Chinese woman" but she let that pass. She was suddenly a lot more interested in what the Chinese merchant had to offer.

"Yeah," she said. "We don't want to run out, especially since it wears off easily."

"Many Jusenkyo commercial goods for sale," the man said proudly as he set out his wares. "All with money-back guarantee! Here, Miss, you read brochure yes?"

Ranma took the proffered pamphlet and glanced through it. It was a small catalog of everything the merchant offered – a complete line of Juseknyo commercial goods. Akane came down the hall to see what was up and read over Ranma's shoulder.

""_Kousui sekken_," the man said, setting out wrapped bars of soap. "Water-resistant toilet soap. Very useful for the cursed of Jusenkyo this is!"

"How much did you bring with you?" Nodoka asked. "We'll take everything you have."

While the man counted out bars of soap and filled out an order form, Ranma idly flipped through the brochure.

"Many useful magics in product line," the salesman said. "You want try Jusenkyo special Passion Spice? Guarantee drive man you love to throes of passion instantly!"

"No," Nodoka said. "Just the soap, if you please...."

Still perusing the brochure, Ranma came across the Jusenkyo Dekisen Niichuan series, the bath powders that provided instant, temporary curses. She frowned at the Instant Nanniichuan mix, recalling the promise of a permanent cure for her curse. Only later had they learned how temporary these Jusenkyo commercial products really were. Ranma snorted in derision. Cheap fakes, the lot of 'em.

The brochure offered the opposite of Nanniichuan as well – Instant Nyannichuan. Ranma smirked. As if she had any need of _that_.

Ranma scanned down the list: Instant Heituenniichuan, Maoniichuan, Shonmaoniichuan, Xiaochiniichuan, Yaazuniichuan. There were an awful lot of Instant versions of the cursed pools at Jusenkyo, though why anyone would want them was beyond Ranma. For example, Instant Shuanshontsuniichuan – Spring of Drowned Twins. What was that supposed to do? Produce temporary twins? Would that really work? What would happen to the twin when it wore off? How could anyone have a use for something like that?

She stared at the brochure. The salesman tallied his receipt. Nodoka lifted one of the soap bars to her nose to sniff it.

The more Ranma thought about it, the more possible uses of the Dekisen Niichuan series _did _occur to her. She leaned forward suddenly. "Hey," she said. "I'd like to buy a few of these cursed bath powders as well...."

To Be Continued...

XXX

A/N Just to let you guys know... as of today, Dec 9 2008, chapters 17-24 and 26-30 are fully written. I *do* need to write chapter 25, which links what I wrote this November for NaNoWriMo (17-24) with what I wrote in 2007 in November for NaNoWriMo (26-30). I also need to edit each chapter before publishing... some more than others... but I should be able to publish a new chapter every week or two for a while now. ^_^


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

Thursday morning was cold and damp. Dew scattered across the grass as Ranma and Akane sparred in the predawn light. The promise of coming Winter hung in the air.

As the two got dressed for school, Ranma declared, "Today I'm going to avoid fighting at all costs!"

"Good luck with that," Akane replied. Things happened to Ranma whether she wanted them to or not. Akane had long ago realized it wasn't always Ranma's fault, but she still felt that somehow Ranma was ultimately to blame anyway.

"No, I'm serious," Ranma said. "Mom's right: I need to control the chaos in my life if I want to become a good student. We spent a whole evening without anything happening, so I'm already off to a good start, right?"

"If you say so," Akane replied. She did have to admit that the uneventful evening had been extremely unusual – and nice.

Ranma threw the front door open and leaped to the side. She peered outside cautiously. Akane rolled her eyes. "If you're going to act like this all day," she said, "then I'd rather you get into a fight and get it over with."

"That ninja girl is out there again," Ranma said.

It was true. The cute ninja girl in red was perched on the wall across the street. Akane walked out to greet her.

"Konatsu, isn't it?" she said with a smile. "From the Red Hot Teahouse Kunoichi? My name's Akane Tendo." She held out her hand.

"Have you seen Ranma Saotome?" the girl asked. "I've had trouble tracking him...."

"_I'm _Ranma Saotome," Ranma said. "You're looking for my father, Genma."

"Yes, your father. The bald one with glasses. But I'm quite sure he said his name was Ranma Saotome...."

"I believe you," Ranma replied. "Pops lies like an old dog on a hot Summer day. Trust me, his real name is Genma Saotome."

The ninja girl nodded. "Then what of the short, wrinkled one? Was _that _Ranma?"

"_I'm _Ranma!" Ranma growled. "The short one is..." she paused, then said, "that sounds like the old freak...."

"Master Happosai?" Akane asked.

The kunoichi gasped. "That wretched thing is your Master?"

Ranma made a face. "I... yes. But not by my choice."

The ninja grasped Ranma's hands in hers. "Then we have much in common! I also hate my Masters! We are sisters in our suffering!"

"Sorry, I ain't your sister," Ranma said, pulling her hands away. "But now that you bring him up, I wonder where the old freak is, anyway? I haven't seen him in a while."

"I know where he was not three days ago," Konatsu replied. "For it was _then _that your Master – and I use the term loosely...."

"So do I," Ranma interjected.

"Three days ago your master and your father destroyed the Red Hot Tea House Kunoichi where I work. Worst of all, he left my step mother and step sisters alive!"

Akane blinked in confusion. "Uh... that's worse?"

'I am compelled to seek revenge!" the ninja vowed. "Join me, and we will overthrow our Masters together!"

"Not today," Ranma replied. "Not for the rest of the week, either. I'm not getting in any more fights, sorry."

"But..." Konatsu began, but Ranma turned and headed up the street. "Ah. I see then. Well, thank you, Miss Ranma, for the information! I will not soon forget your kindness!" She sprang into the air and was gone in a flash.

They'd walked half a block before a familiar voice said, "Watch out for that one Ranma."

Ranma spun about. Happosai sat on a nearby bench, smoking a pipe. He blew a smoke ring, then said, "That girl is a master ninja such as is only seen once in one hundred years! If you cross her, you will not come away unscathed!"

"I didn't cross her," Ranma replied. "_You _did. You and Pops."

"Her mother and sisters are even worse!" Happosai continued with a shudder.

"Vicious ninja warriors, huh?" Akane asked.

"Worse than that!" Happosai cried. "They're fat and ugly!"

Akane's sudden rage got the better of her. She lashed out at Happy with a kick, which the Grand Master of Anything-Goes dodged easily. "But forget that for a moment," he said. "Ranma my boy, your poor master is _so _glad you've decided to stay a girl! I weep tears of joy. let me cry into your bosom!"

Like an over-sized leech, Happosai attached himself to Ranma's chest. With an incoherent scream, Ranma punched her master into the pavement.

Akane checked her watch. "Well... at least you made it seventeen minutes without fighting..."

"The freak doesn't count!" Ranma snapped.

XXX

Ukyo stared at herself in the mirror. A very cute schoolgirl stared back. She frowned, fiddling with the hem of the skirt. Ukyo was well aware that she could look cute if she wanted to. What she didn't know was how to _act _when dressed like this. She felt ridiculous and self-conscious.

The floor-length mirror was nice. She'd never owned one before, but Miyuki Gojo had deemed one needed. For that matter, she'd never had a private bath before, but she did now. No more trips to the public bath, she thought. That would be nice.

Ukyo sighed and grabbed her school bag. "Well," she said to herself, "here goes nothing."

Downstairs the restaurant still felt too large and empty. There was a cell phone on the counter – two, in fact. Miyuki had insisted on one for the restaurant and one for Ukyo's personal use, although for the life of her Ukyo couldn't imagine why. She'd always managed without even one before now.

For some reason, the personal cell was decorated with Sailor Jupiter stickers. Ukyo slipped it into her bag, then turned to leave.

Someone was standing outside. She could see him through the glass front door. He was a young man, probably in his early twenties, plump but not ugly. He wasn't one of her regular customers. The though that they might follow the flyers to the new location _had _crossed her mind, but she'd never seen this man before.

Ukyo opened the door cautiously. If need be, she had her battle spatula slung over her shoulder.

"Hello," she said. "Can I help you?"

"This is Uchan's right?" the young man asked.

"Uh... yes, it is. How did you know?"

The man pointed up. A neon sign reading "Uchan's" was placed above the door. Ukyo hadn't seen it last night. The sign wasn't currently lit, but it only took a moment to find the switch to the left of the door and test it out.

"Wow," she said. "That's not bad."

A polite cough drew her attention from the new sign back to the man in front of her. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "But we're not open yet. In fact, we don't even have a staff...."

"Yes, that's why I'm here," the man said. He held up a newspaper. "I came to ask about the day chef position?"

XXX

"Must you balance your books on your head?" Akane asked, as she and Ranma walked to school.

"Posture training," Ranma replied. "Remember, training around the clock is an all-day thing."

Akane rolled her eyes. "Right. Do you get all of your sayings from you dad?"

"Nah, I made that one up myself. But it's true. One of the first rules of Saotome-ryu – and, by the way, one of the few things that my father actually got right, although he rarely practiced what he preached and I suspect he got the whole idea from the old freak – but anyway, as I was saying, one of the first and most important rules of the Saotome School is that _everything _is martial-arts training. You have to learn to think that way at all times. I wasn't born a fantastic martial artist, you know. I had to work at it."

"Nice to see you haven't lost your humility."

"Well, it's true," Ranma said. "You're a good martial artist, Akane, but you practice a few hours a day at most. I practice 24 hours a day, seven days a week."

"...Which apparently leaves you no time to sleep."

"You know what I mean," Ranma said. "Case in point. See that fence?"

"If you want me to walk on top of it like you always do, then you got another thing coming," Akane replied. "Do you think I want everyone to see my underwear?"

"Well, ok," Ranma said. "Then how about...."

She paused, staring across the street. "What is it?" Akane asked. Ranma just pointed. On the corner was a small restaurant with a sign above it that read "Nekohanten – Cat Café". In front of the store, a short, wrinkled crone was sweeping the sidewalk.

"Old Ghoul?" Ranma growled, stalking across the street. "What are you doing here?"

"Akane-chan! Ranma-chan!" the Chinese woman exclaimed. "Good day to you two. How are you girls this morning?"

Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Don't you usually call me Son-In-Law?"

"Now, why would I call a _girl _Son-In-Law?" Cologne flashed her all-knowing smile. "Mind you, I still would love to see you wed to my grand daughter, but I've made a promise with your mother to wait until you graduate, and I keep my promises."

"Ranma!"

The voice was Shampoo's. Ranma flinched, but no suffocating hug came. Instead, Shampoo stood in the doorway of the new Cat Café and bowed. "Nihao, Ranma," she said. "Nihao, Akane."

Akane was even more thrown by this simple, friendly greeting than Ranma. She had automatically dropped into a defensive crouch, and now seemed at a loss as to how to respond. "Uh... good morning, Shampoo," she replied after a moment.

Cologne grinned. "I did have something I wished to discuss with you, Ranma," she said. "You as well, Akane, if you like."

The crone led the way into the new Café. She tossed the broom at Mousse. "Get to work, Mr. Part Time!" she yelled. "I want that sidewalk spotless!" Belatedly, Ranma realized that she'd never seen Cologne sweeping in front of her store before today. She felt like she'd been set up.

Cologne hopped onto the counter and turned to face them. "I still hope to see you wed Shampoo on day," she said, "but I have to be realistic. Your mother's desires in the matter are paramount, as I am well aware. As a matriarchal society our tribe cannot forswear the wishes of the woman who gave birth to you."

Ranma scratched the back of her head. "Uh... matri-what? Swear at who?"

"I can't go against your mother's wishes, Ranma," Cologne said.

"Oh. Is that all? You already said that you would keep your promise."

"Indeed. I gave my word, no talk of marriage until graduation. I must confess that even after that, my plans may come to naught. Thus, I am making contingency plans against that very possibility. My highest priority is not your marriage to Shampoo, but simply securing you and your skills for the benefit of my people."

"You lost me again," Ranma said.

Akane sighed. "She wants you as an ally and not an enemy, Ranma."

"Very well put, Akane," Cologne said. "I extend this offer to you as well. You have a chance to develop into a very good warrior, if you work hard at it. You'll never be as good as Ranma or my Shampoo, but you could be a valuable asset to the tribe."

"What offer?" Akane asked guardedly.

Cologne cackled like a mad woman. "Oh my! You sound so _worried_. Never fear, it's nothing so dire. I simply want to offer you two the chance to become honorary members of the Amazon tribe."

Akane and Ranma stared at the old crone in silence for a moment. "No thanks," Ranma replied. "I can't see spendin' the rest of my life in China."

Cologne's staff slammed down on Ranma's head. "Ow!" the redhead exclaimed.

"Now, did I say anything about moving to China?" Cologne replied. "We can discuss the full details later, but the short version is that you would aid the tribe in times of need, and you would be able to request aid from your tribal sisters should the need arise. You would not be subject to all of our rules and laws nor expected to live among us."

"We'd stay in Japan?" Ranma asked.

"I believe I just said that," Cologne replied.

"We wouldn't have to do the whole kiss of death, or marry the person that defeats you crap?"

Cologne's frown deepened. "Really, Ranma, were you even listening to me?"

"Tribal sisters..." Akane said. "So Ranma would join the tribe as a female warrior?"

Cologne nodded. "Yes, of course. Ranma _is _a girl at the moment, and might well choose to remain so...."

"Not a chance!" Ranma growled.

"Even so, we can cross that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime and until graduation, you would be treated as a full Amazon warrior. Nor would you be the first male in our history to join our ranks in a cursed female form."

Cologne smiled again and added, ""You need not answer me now. I don't want to make you late for school. However, I had one other proposal, an offer not contingent in any way on the first. Tell me, Ranma. Your new goal is to become a top student and graduate with good grades, is it not?"

Ranma nodded. "That's gotta be my main focus for the next year and a half."

"Would it help for you to learn another language?" asked Cologne.

"I suppose so," Ranma replied. "How do you mean?"

"I mean that I could teach you Chinese. It would be a great boon if you plan to become a tribal member, and even if not, it surely couldn't hurt. This offer I _also _extend to you, Akane."

Ranma nodded slowly. "I... I'd like that."

"Me, too, actually," Akane added.

XXX

Ukyo blinked In confusion. "We have a job posted?" she asked.

"Yes, in this morning's paper," the man said. "Sorry for showing up here so early, but I wanted to speak to the manager in person. You see, okonomiyaki is my life...."

Ukyo crossed her arms and gave the man a hard look. "You don't say...."

"I...ah...yes, I do," the man replied. "There's nothing I love to cook more. I learned the art from my mother when I was young." He stuck out his hand. "My name is Goro Arakaki."

Ukyo shook his hand. She said, "I'm on my way to school, but I've got about fifteen minutes. Come on in and show me what you've got." She turned and headed to the kitchen.

Goro followed her across the empty restaurant floor, his eyes fixed on her back. "That's...ah...a rather _large _spatula..." he said.

"Battle spatula," Ukyo replied. "I don't cook with it. Well, except for combat cooking...."

"Battle spatula?" Goro squeaked.

"Yes," Ukyo replied. "When _I _say 'okonomiyaki is my life', it means something very different from when you say it." She gestured to the grill and said, "You've got five minutes."

Goro gaped at her for a moment, then nodded. He fired up the grill and mixed some batter.

"What kind would you like?" he asked.

"Shrimp is fine," Ukyo replied. Goro located shrimp in the cooler and soon had two okonomiyaki frying. Ukyo nodded in satisfaction. She walked out into the center of the main floor.

"When they're ready, I want you to toss one to me," she said.

Goro's eyes widened. "I'm sorry?"

"You heard me. Toss one to me."

Goro gulped, then did so. The okonomiyaki wobbled a bit and sailed off-course, but Ukyo managed to catch it. She took a bite, then nodded again.

"Your delivery needs work, but otherwise you're not bad," she said. "I'll want you to work with me for a few nights so that you know how to do things the way I do them. Be back here at 4:00 PM and we'll talk."

XXX

Ranma and Akane reached the front gates of St. Hebereke just as the last bell began to ring. Miyuki was the only one still waiting there – everyone else was already headed to class.

"You two are late!" said Miyuki accusingly, as they turned and ran for the front doors.

"Sorry," Ranma replied. "We ran into...."

"No!" Miyuki held up her hands. "Don't tell me! If I don't know your secrets then I can't be forced to reveal them."

"Huh? _What _?"

"Just don't tell me anything," Miyuki said as the three hurried into the school. "I'm sure you were involved in another big fight with magical warrior ninja demons or something similar. I don't need know the details; I don't want to get you into even more trouble."

"Miyuki, we didn't..." Ranma began. "Wait, magical warrior ninja demons?"

"Or something similar! The point is, we were waiting at the front gate with a surprise for you, but you're too late and school's about to start and everyone had to head to class and here's your lunch I gotta go bye!"

Miyuki shoved the bento lunch into Ranma's hands and ran down the hallway. Ranma stared after her for a moment, until Akane grabbed her by the shirt and drug her into the classroom. The two took their seats as the final bell rang. Moments later their home room teacher Miss Shindou was directing attention to the front of the room, where stood a cute girl with long dark hair tied with a bow. A large spatula was strapped to her back.

"Class, we have a new student transferring in today. Please welcome Miss Ukyo Kuonji, who comes to us from Furinkhan High School." The teacher paused for a moment then put a hand to her mouth. 'My, wasn't that Ranma and Akane's previous school? Do you know each other?

XXX

It wasn't until the break between first and second periods that Ranma and Akane got to talk to Ukyo

"Uchan, what are _you _doing here?" Ranma asked.

"Attending class, like you," Ukyo replied.

"Ukyo," Akane said, "I thought you promised to stop pursuing Ranma."

"Yes, and I'll keep that promise, trust me," Ukyo replied. "That doesn't mean I have to completely avoid Ranma for the next two years, does it? After all, _you're _living under the same roof."

"Sleeping in the same room, even," Ranma added. She immediately regretted it.

Ukyo's eyes flashed and she came out of her seat. "Is that true? You're sharing the same room?"

"Hey!" Akane bristled. "It's not like we want to!"

"Yeah, Mom's house isn't that big!" Ranma added.

Akane said, "We don't have a choice, the room's divided by book shelves, we're both girls, we're supposedly sisters, and what's it to you, anyway?"

Ukyo sat back down. "It's not my business, of course," she said. "Just as it's no concern of yours where I choose to attend school."

"Fair enough," Akane replied. "I apologize. How did you get in here anyway?"

"It's... a little complicated. I can explain later."

Kaida sat down next to them. "So who's your beautiful friend, Ranma?" she asked.

"Hi, Kaida," Ranma said. "It's Ukyo. Didn't you hear the teacher?"

Akane sighed. "She means you should introduce her, Ranma."

"Oh," Ranma said. "Yeah. Kaida, this is Ukoy Kuonji. She's my best friend from when we were little kids. She's also the greatest okonomiyaki chef I've ever known. Ukyo, this is Kaida Genji. She's, ah... rich, and... she likes girls."

Ukyo raised an eyebrow. "Oh? One of _those _girls?"

Kaida sighed. "Yes, yes. Next you're going to tell me you don't swing that way. Just my luck."

"I wouldn't say that, exactly," Ukyo said. "But unfortunately, you're not my type."

Kaida's eyebrows went up. "Oh? And what _is _your type?"

"Redheads," Ukyo said with a smile. "One in particular...."

XXX

At lunch time, Akane found herself under the tree on the front lawn, alone with Ukyo. As Ukyo set up her portable grill, Akane said, "I'm surprised you went along with this whole suspend the agreement thing," Akane said.

"Why not?" Ukyo replied. "It practically guarantees that in two years I'll be the one to marry Ranma."

Akane's eyes narrowed. "What? How do you figure?"

"Think about it, Sugar," Ukyo said. "Whoever interferes in the next two years invalidates their claim, right? So for starters, do you _really _think that Shampoo can go two years without trying something?"

"But Cologne...."

"Oh, Cologne, of course. She's what, 300 years old? She's more patient than Buddha. But Shampoo? She's not going to cool her heels for two years; you can bet on it."

"Well okay, point taken," Akane said. "But you can't say the same thing about me."

"I don't have to, Akane," Ukyo said. "I hate to say it but _you _are dependent on your dad and the panda doing nothing for two years. Again, does that seem likely?"

Akane thought for a moment. She frowned.

"Gods, I'm screwed, aren't I?"

Ukyo grinned. "I'm counting on it, Sugar!"

Several girls surrounded them. Akane glanced up, recognizing the faces of some of those who had made snide comments to her earlier in the week.

"So this is another of your dirt poor scholarship student friends, I take it?" one girl said.

"Standards at this school are_ really _in the toilet," another added.

"No kidding. They'll let _anyone_ in here these days," a third said.

"Ignore the idiots," Akane replied. "I do."

"Yes, ignore these petty girls," Kaida said, sitting down next to them. "They're just jealous that they're not as pretty as you, Ukyo."

"I _did _say I wasn't interested, Kaida," Ukyo said in a low voice.

"Oh, but I can still flirt, can't I? I flirt with _everyone _you know!"

One of the other girls laughed. "Look, the newest peasant girl is so poor she needs to sell food at lunch."

"How sad! She needs to hustle just to make ends meet! Just like that Nabiki girl!" said another.

"It's very low class. Tacky, even," said a third. "Shouldn't the school ban such crass merchandising on school grounds?"

Nabiki appeared and sat down next to Kaida. A moment later, Ranma also appeared.

"I can't help but notice," Nabiki said, "that you girls are lining up to buy Ukyo's okonomiyaki."

"But it smells so good!" one of the girls protested. "I'm tired of Mother's lunches."

"Yeah," another girl said. "Our family cook makes the same things every week. It's beyond boring. The cafeteria here may be first-rate, but it's _still _a cafeteria."

"They'll buy from you, Ukyo," Nabiki said, "but they won't befriend you."

"Fine by me!" Ukyo replied cheerfully. "A girl's got to do what she can to get by!"

"My thoughts exactly!" Nabiki replied.

"Can I have one?" Ranma asked. Ukyo grinned and tossed an okonomiyaki her way.

"Ranma!" Akane exclaimed. "You've got _two _lunches already!"

"What? I'm hungry! Besides, Ukyo makes the _best _okonomiyaki."

Ukyo laughed. Kohana joined them, followed by Miyuki, Tomari and Sachiko. Ukyo was kept busy at her grill. "Wow," Ukyo said. "It looks like you two have found a good group of friends already."

Akane glanced sideways at Kaida. "Perverted friends," she said darkly.

"Guilty as charged!" Kaida replied cheerfully.

"Akane," Ukyo said, "you _do _realize that Ranma Honey is female at least part of the time?"

Akane nodded. "What's your point?"

"You're engaged to a girl, Sugar," Ukyo pointed out.

"There's no engagements until graduation," Akane shot back.

"Nevertheless, you're engaged to Ranma, who is a girl," Ukyo insisted.

"She is not!"

"She?" Ukyo laughed.

"He!" Akane said. "I meant he, of course! _He _is not a girl!"

"I am right now," Ranma added, between mouth fulls of food.

"Exactly," Ukyo said. "You have to admit that even you're confused about it. My point is, your homophobia has always been a major stumbling block to your engagement, hasn't it?"

Akane's face flushed red. "First of all, I'm not homophobic."

"Oh, really?" Ukyo raised an eyebrow.

"Second of all," Akane continued, "just because Ranma turns into a girl doesn't mean that we would ever...you know...."

"Have hot lesbian sex?" Kaida inserted cheerfully. "Oh, but Akane, why ever not? It's _so _much fun!"

Akane clenched her fists. "Because I'm not like you! You girls make me sick!"

"Is this the point where you stomp off and fume again?" Kaida asked. Akane, who looked as if she'd been about to leap to her feat, instead crossed her arms and did nothing.

"No, of course it isn't," she said. She glared at Ranma, who was seemed engrossed in her meal and oblivious to the conversation.

Ukyo smirked. "I have no such problems, of course. I spent much of my life dressing and acting like a boy, after all."

"You did?" Kaida asked.

"Of course," Ukyo replied. "Hard to attend an all-boy's school otherwise."

"You know, Ukyo's right," Nabiki said. "Even Shampoo would likely have no problems with Ranma's girl side. She's from a tribe of amazons after all. That sort of thing is quite common there, I believe."

Kaida's friends Rin and Akela joined them. "Oh, is this Ranma's friend?" Akela asked.

"Wow, Ranma," Rin said. "I know you said you had girls chasing you, but you didn't mention who incredibly cute they were."

"That's me," Ukyo said cheerfully. "I'm the cute one!"

"Oh, let's not start that whole thing again," Akane said sourly.

"So this Shampoo," Kaida said. "Is she cute too?"

Ranma, Akane and Ukyo exchanged glances.

"Uh..." Ranma began.

"Oh, my," Kaida replied. "That much? I really _must _be introduced to her at some point."

XXX

Shampoo sneezed.

"Are you coming down with a cold, Granddaughter?" Cologne asked.

Shampoo shook her head. "(What is it you wished to show me, Grandmother?)"

"Speak Japanese, Dear. You have to learn it eventually. Now, do you see this? Can you guess what it is?"

Shampoo stared at the blouse and skirt. She made a face. "Is school uniform of too too crazy gymnast girl," she said.

"Yes," said Cologne. "It's a St. Hebereke's schoolgirl uniform. This is the uniform that Ranma wears now, as well."

Shampoo's eyes lit up. "Yes! Shampoo see Airen wearing this morning!"

"Now, Shampoo, what have I told you...."

Shampoo sighed. "Ranma is girl and is not Airen for two year. Shampoo remember."

"Exactly. Now, since we'll be in Japan for at least the next two years, I thought it a good idea for you to attend school and get what the people here call a formal education. At the very least, it would behoove you to learn to speak Japanese better. If you're ever going to succeed me as an elder, then you need to learn as much as you can whenever you can."

The purple-haired girl nodded, staring at the uniform anew. "This Shampoo uniform then?"

"Yes, that's right," said Cologne.

"Shampoo go to school with Air...with Ranma?"

Cologne nodded.

From the front of the restaurant, Mousse said, "I would not be adverse to attending school...."

A plate flew across the room and shattered on Mousse's forehead. "Back in the kitchen, Mr. Part Time! There's dishes to wash!"

"But..." Mousse began.

"In the first place, St. Hebereke's is a girl's school," Cologne said. "In the second place, I can only afford one scholarship. And in the third place, who do you think is going to help me run the Nekohanten while Shampoo is at school?"

Mousse disappeared into the kitchen, muttering something about unfair old ghouls. "I can _hear _you!" Cologne yelled after him.

XXX

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. When the last bell rang, Ranma and Akane gathered their things.

"Hey you two," Ukyo said. "Want to come over and check out my new restaurant?" Earlier in the day she'd given them the full story on her surprise move and partnership with Miyuki, although she hadn't explained exactly _why _Miyuki was helping her. "Miyuki and her friends will be there. Nabiki's invited too, and any of your other friends that want to come. I'll cook for everyone."

"Sounds great!" Ranma replied, before locking eyes with Akane. "Oh, wait. We can't."

"What?" Ukyo was crestfallen. "Why not?"

"We're both grounded," Ranma replied. "No going anywhere but straight home for the rest of the week."

"Grounded? What did you do to deserve that?"

"There was a big fight yesterday," Akane said.

"So? There's _always _a big fight," Ukyo pointed out.

"Yeah," Ranma said, "But this was bigger than most, and it was in the middle of the school day. We couldn't avoid it, but...Mom's being really strict about us not fightin' during the school week, and especially during school."

"Ranchan," Ukyo said, "doesn't she understand that these things aren't always your fault? Things just _happen _you, Ranma!"

"Yeah, I know. But I'm supposed to focus on schoolwork and studying, so...."

Ukyo sighed. "Darn it. I was hoping to be around someone I actually _knew_. Being uprooted and moved like this has been bewildering, and I'm supposed to be managing a restaurant and hiring people to help me run it...." Her voice trailed off as she glanced at the wall clock. "Speaking of which, I really should be going, Goro's probably waiting at the front door."

"Goro?" Akane asked.

"I think he's my new day chef," Ukyo replied. "We'll see. Catch you guys later."

XXX

Ranma flopped down in one of the chairs in the Vice Principal's office. It occurred to her that she hadn't _done _anything that warranted being here, but she was already used to ending her day in her mother's office.

Nodoka glanced up from her work. "Good afternoon, Ranma," she said. "You haven't been in any fights today, have you...?"

"No," Ranma replied. "Unless you count hitting Happosai...."

Nodoka raised an eyebrow. Ranma said, "We ran into the old freak this morning. He tried to warn us about this ninja girl, but she's looking for him and Pops, not me. They destroyed her teahouse last week, or something."

Mrs. Saotome pursed her lips. "That sounds very typical of the Master. He has been a cause of trouble for your father for as long as I've known him."

"Yeah, and everyone else too," Ranma muttered.

"To be honest," Mrs. Saotome said, "Happosai has always struck me as not the most honorable of martial artists...."

Ranma smirked. "Gee, you think?"

"In any case, I'm glad to hear that you avoided fighting today. You see, it's not as hard as you imagine it to be."

"Mom, it's not like I got into a fight every single day at Furinkhan either."

Nodoka nodded. "So, have you thought about a school club yet, Daughter? Remember, tomorrow is the deadline...."

"Crap!" Ranma exclaimed.

"Language, Dear," Nodoka scolded.

"Sorry Mom. I uh...I'm still thinking about it."

"Perhaps you would enjoy the fashion club?" Nodoka suggested.

Before Ranma could answer, the door opened. "Hey, Ranma," Akane said. "Ready to go?"

XXX

"Crap," Akane said. "I completely forgot about that."

"No kidding. Me too," Ranma replied. "Mom suggested the fashion club...."

Akane made a face. "Well, I'm not doing _that_," she replied.

"You think _I _want to?"

Akane shrugged. "We can just pick the karate club," she said. "They won't be up to our level, but maybe we'll wind up teaching the class or something...."

"Yay," Ranma grumbled. "Teaching rich girls self defense. That's exactly how I want to waste my time...."

"Hey, that's pretty much what my Dad does," Akane replied. "For that matter, if you were to inherit the Tendo dojo it's what _you _would do, a lot of the time."

"Nah," Ranma replied. "You'd handle the self defense classes. I'd only teach the serious, elite students."

Akane snorted. "As if!"

They ran into Kaida in front of the school. "Hey you two," she said. "Are you coming to see Ukyo's new restaurant?"

"Nah," Ranma replied. "We're grounded, remember?"

Kaida's face fell. "That's right. I'd forgotten. Too bad, because everyone else is coming."

"I hope you have fun then," Akane said.

"Oh, I will," Kaida replied, eyes dancing. "It's my first date with Nabiki, after all...."

Instantly Akane flushed red. "First _date_?" she exclaimed, fists clenched.

Kaida laughed merrily. "Oh, Akane, you're just _too _easy to tease! You should see your face!" After a moment, she added, "Were you two talking about joining the karate club? After seeing you two fight yesterday, I can say that _no one _in the club is even close to your level. You guys are amazing! Even Akela's better than anyone in the club, which is why _she _doesn't bother with it. She's in the rugby club, of course...."

"Yeah," Ranma said glumly. "We don't _want _to, but Mom's said that we need to join a school club by the end of class tomorrow. If we don't, she's going to pick one for us...."

Kaida blinked in surprise. "Really? Does it matter _what _kind of club?"

"Nah, but I ain't really interested in any of them," Ranma said.

Kaida appeared deep in thought. "Well," she said, "maybe Rin and Akela and I could help...."

"Not likely," Akane said. "We're really not into anything besides martial arts."

"And looking like total hotties...." Kaida added, staring off into the distance.

"What?" Akane snapped.

Kaida giggled. "Oh, did I say that out loud? My apologies!"

Just then Nabiki appeared. "Hello, Ranma. Hello, Akane." She grasped Kaida's hands and held them to her heart. "Good evening, Love," she said. "Are we ready for our date?"

"_NABIKI?"_ Akane choked.

Nabiki laughed. "What did I tell you, Kaida? My sis is _no _challenge at all.."

XXX

"Nice place you've got here, Ukyo," Nabiki commented. She was seated at a large table in the back of Uchan's, along with Kaida, Rin, Akela, Miyuki, Tomari, Sachiko, and Kohana. They were celebrating the opening of the new restaurant with a feast for the group of friends – never mind that they weren't all friends of each other, and few of them had met Ukyo before that morning.

There had even been a few other diners that evening, including three of Ukyo's old regulars who had made the trek across town just to eat at her new place.

"Thanks," replied Ukyo. "It was all Miyuki's doing, of course."

"Not really," Miyuki said. "Miss Okomoto handled everything. I just paid for it."

"You made your dad pay for it, you mean," Tomari added.

"Same thing," Miyuki retorted.

"It's going to take some getting used to," Ukyo said.

"It's much bigger than your old place," Nabiki agreed.

Ukyo nodded. "I don't know about running a place this big. It's a bit intimidating. I need to hire at least three or four people to help me, I think."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "You're looking for help?"

"That's right," Ukyo replied. "A couple to run the place in the daytime when I'm at school, and someone to help me run it in the evenings... I was hoping maybe Ranma would help, she's been a waitress for me before."

Nabiki said, "Between school, homework, training and random challenges, Ranma may already have more than she can handle."

"You're probably right. Well then... Akane, maybe?" Ukyo asked, doubtfully.

"Do you _really _mean that?" Nabiki asked coolly. "Besides, I'm sure my sister has the same problems as Ranma. Well, aside from random challenges."

Ukyo placed her hands on her hips and sighed. "I suppose you're right. At least Goro looks like he'll be a good daytime cook, and Konatsu agreed to be my waitress and dish washer...."

"Where did you find this Konatsu anyway?" Kaida asked. "She's _incredibly _cute. Does she go to school around here?"

"I'm not sure she goes to school at all," Ukyo replied. "She's a homeless ninja girl I met last night. I had to help her out, she was so pitiful."

"Homeless ninja girl?" Kaida asked, as if she hadn't heard right.

"Yes," Ukyo replied. "She was looking for Ranma."

Nabiki smirked. "Ah, that explains it."

"But I've decided to abandon my quest for revenge against Ranma," Konatsu said as she walked into the room. She set new drinks in front of each of the guests. "Mistress Ukyo has been so kind to me! I have a place to stay and a new job – I need never go back to my evil step-sisters."

Kohana sat at the end of the table, studying the waitress carefully. "I heard a rumor," she said, "that you are a legendary super kunoichi, one that appears once in a lifetime."

"What? Oh, no!" Kontasu exclaimed, waving her hands. "Me, a super ninja?" Suddenly she seemed to split into four people.

"I'm not."

"That."

"Great."

"Really!" the four Konatsus said in sequence. The last of the four posed dramatically, arms crossed, face looking up and away.

"Wow," Nabiki said. "The legendary split-body technique! I _love _special techniques!" The other girls stared in shock, save for Miyuki, who immediately jumped to her feet.

"Wow, Konatsu, that was _awesome_!"

Konatsu beamed. "Thank you, Mistress Miyuki!"

"Tell me," Miyuki continued, "do you like magical girl outfits? Especially ones derived from Loli Goth fashion?"

Konatsu looked perplexed. "I don't know. Maybe? Are they sexy?"

"Absolutely!"

"Then I'm sure I like them!" Konatsu said.

"When you have a moment, Konatsu, there's dishes to wash," Ukyo said.

"Yes, Mistress! Right away, Mistress!" The ninja girl danced across the floor, then paused to spin about. "Can you believe my luck?" she gushed. "I have this pretty kimono, a beautiful and kind mistress, and she pays me a _fortune_! Five yen a night! I'm in heaven!"

The kunoichi girl vanished into the kitchen. After a moment, Kaida said, "Wow, Ukyo. And here I thought you and Ranma and Akane and Nabiki were poor."

"Five yen a night?" Tomari repeated.

"Well, I didn't want to spoil her," Ukyo said.

"You know, Ukyo," Nabiki said, "If you're still looking for help after school, I might be interested."

Ukyo looked skeptical. "You, Nabiki? What would _you _need a job for?"

Nabiki smirked. "The same thing everyone needs one for, of course: money. A _bit _more than five yen, mind you," she added.

"You always seem to have as much as you need..." Ukyo said.

Nabiki shook her head. "I'm thinking of moving out of the house. Now that I'm attending St. Hebereke's, it would be nice to live closer to the school. The commute from Nerima is further than I like. I can rent an apartment but I'll need a job to continue to pay for it."

"Really?" Ukyo said. "You want to move out?"

"That's right."

"You know," Ukyo said. "I have room here for someone else. The upstairs apartment is huge, and Konatsu refused to sleep in the spare bedroom. You could have that, rent free, if we worked something out...."

Nabiki sat up. "Really? That would be fantastic. And I'm _sure _can help you out here. There must be a lot of book-keeping and overhead to deal with...."

"Oh," Ukyo said, "I've got that part covered. I'm a good businesswoman, Nabiki. I've been doing this for many years, first with my father and now on my own. No, what I need is a waitress...."

Nabiki's eye began to twitch. "Me, a waitress?"

"A hostess, really," Ukyo said. "I'm sure Konatsu will do the worst jobs, but I need someone with a bit more... how shall I put it? Someone who knows how to not insult a guest, and someone who won't accept fifty yen as payment for a five thousand yen bill."

"I can see where that might be a problem," Nabiki replied.

"She's cute, that girl," Ukyo added, "but being poor is a step _up _for her."

"I don't know," Nabiki said. ""I'll... have to think about it."

XXX

Ranma and Akane did their homework in their room.

"Well I'm glad_ one _us is making friends," Akane said after a while.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ranma asked. When Akane didn't reply, Ranma added, "Anyway, I'm not sure how much of a friend Miyuki is. She's more interested in turning me into Sakura Kinomoto, or something...."

"Into who?"

"You know. The main girl from _Card Captor Sakura_."

"Oh, yeah," Akane said. "I remember."

"It's one of Miyuki's favorite anime series, and the parallels between Sakura's friend Tomoyo and Miyuki are hard for even _me _to miss. Tomoyo designs costumes for Sakura, she films all of her battles...and Miyuki seems to want to do the same for me...."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Ranma said. "She's not very subtle about it."

"It's just," Akane said, "your ability to deduce what others think is a bit suspect...."

"She took my measurements and had me try on some dresses she'd designed," Ranma said.

"She did?"

"Yes. She had some excuse, but...remember, her first image of me was me fighting Ryoga in that loligoth outfit..."

"Oh yeah, I remember now," Akane said.

"Anyway, aside from her weird magical girl obsession she real is a nice kid. She helped me with my homework. She's smart."

XXX

Miyuki stared off into space, laughing maniacally. "So many plans," she mumbled. "I've got _so _many plans...."

She paused, to stare down at her drink. "Say... this isn't alcoholic, is it?"

"No," Tomari said. "You're only drunk on power, Miyuki."

Miyuki glanced at her two friends. As usual, the ever-quiet Sachiko was sitting in the corner drawing. "What have you got?" Miyuki asked. "Show me!"

Sachiko held her sketchbook up. On the page was a picture of four identical ninja girls – Konatsu, doing her split-body technique.

"Oh, that's nice," Miyuki said. Sachiko turned the page, revealing a half-completed sketch of Konatsu in a gothic lolita maid outfit.

"Oh! That's _especially _nice!" Miyuki said. After a moment, she added, "You know, I should have that outfit made. I'll bet anything Konatsu would wear it if I gave it to her."

Nearby, Kohana said. "So, Kaida, about what you were saying earlier...Ranma and Akane have to find a school club to join by the end of school tomorrow?"

"That's what they said," Kaida replied. "Edict from Vice Principal Mom, apparently."

Kohana looked thoughtful. "They don't like any of the existing clubs, I take it? Well, perhaps I can do something about that, then...."

"Just so long as you don't interfere with _my _plans," Kaida replied.

"Hey!" Miyuki interjected. "_I'm _going to be the one solve this problem for them!"

"Oh?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "What are you planning, Miyuki?"

"You'll see..." Miyuki began. Just then the door slid open. Framed in the doorway was not Ukyo or Konatsu, or even the pudgy chef Goro, but a young boy in a rough-hewn yellow shirt and black pants tied at the legs.

"Is this the train to Tokyo?" the boy asked.

"Oh, hello, Ryoga," Nabiki said. "Lost again, I see."

Miyuki leaped to her feet and pointed across the table dramatically. "YOU!" she yelled. "I remember you! You're the boy who fought Ranma last week!"

XXX

The sky was cold and clear, with a near-full moon low on the horizon. In the back yard of the Saotome household, Akane watched Ranma move through a kata. It was a guilty pleasure that everyone who knew Ranma occasionally took part in; she moved with a grace and fluidity that Akane knew _she _would never posses.

Ranma was like flowing water. Few in the world could move like that. Akane had often wondered how well Ranma might do at gymnastics or ballet. Ranma could be world class in just about anything that required physical prowess and precise body control, should she choose to be.

This kata was different. Normally Ranma moved like a danseur noble, a Baryshnikov, but tonight she moved like a prima ballerina assoluta. Typical kata incorporated moves that could be adapted for combat, but this included pirouettes, side leaps, kicks, steps, and graceful hand movements. It was poetry in motion, and very clearly _feminine._ Akane even thought she spied some belly dance moves.

"Wow, Ranma. Is that the new one you've been working on?" she asked.

"Yeah," Ranma replied. "It's still kinda rough; I haven't worked it all out yet."

"Rough? You mean you can make it better?" Akane laughed, and added, "Oh, why do I even ask? If _you _say you can, then Nabiki would call that a solid bet. But Ranma, it's beautiful already."

"Thanks."

"It's hard to believe you created it."

Ranma glared at her. Akane's face flushed red.

"I mean, when did you find the time, of course," she stammered. "We've been so busy!"

"I've been working on it, a little every day," said Ranma. "I started last Saturday." She started working her way through the kata again.

"And this is going to make you more graceful and feminine?"

"That's the idea," Ranma said.

"And less clumsy?"

"I ain't clumsy," Ranma shot back.

"No," Akane said. "But I am, sometimes."

Ranma laughed. "Ain't that the truth."

Ranma expected an angry retort. Instead, Akane asked, "So...could you teach that kata to me?"

Ranma blinked.

"Sure," she said. "Once I get all the kinks worked out."

"Thanks, Ranma," Akane said. "That would be great."

XXX

Konatsu bustled into the kitchen for more drinks. She smiled at Goro the cook. "Those girls back there sure are thirsty!" she said. "If I ever drank that much at the teahouse my step mother and step sisters would beat me black and blue!"

Goro frowned. "Did they really treat you that badly?" he asked.

"Oh, _that's _not treating me badly," Konatsu said. "When they were in a bad mood they could be much, _much _worse."

The cook's eyes widened. "Well, it's a good thing you left them, then, Miss Konatsu," he said.

Konatsu grinned. "Thanks Mr. Goro! I think so too!"

Goro looked about the nearly empty restaurant. "It's getting late," he said. "Do you know where Ukyo is?"

"I thought she was back in the store room," replied Konatsu.

"I'm not sure how long she wants me to stay. It doesn't seem likely that we'll have more traffic tonight, and really, I don't want to be up too late. I'm supposed to be the day cook."

"I wouldn't presume to speak for Mistress," Konatsu said, "but if she didn't mean for you to stay late then you can probably go. I'll clean up, don't worry about that."

"Thanks, Miss Konatsu," Goro said, bowing. "I've left two okonomiyaki for your dinner when you're oft shift."

Konatsu flushed red. "That's so sweet of you, Master Goro!" she exclaimed. Then, impulsively, she kissed the cook on the cheek.

"See you tomorrow," she said to the stunned cook.

Konatsu carried the drinks to the back room. It really _was _getting late, but Konatsu didn't want it to end. The kunoichi had never spent a more enjoyable evening in her entire life – Ukyo was the perfect Mistress, and her friends were all such _incredibly nice _people.

"Konatsu," Nabiki said, "where's Ukyo disappeared to? I wanted to ask if she'd mind me crashing here tonight. I'd rather not travel back home at this late hour."

"Don't worry, Mistress Nabiki," Konatsu replied. "Ill go find her right away!"

Konatsu stepped into the store room and looked about. "Mistress Ukyo?" she called out. Moving between shelves filled with supplies, she made a loop around the room, but saw no sign of her new boss.

She was about to check upstairs when a piece of paper caught her eye – in part, because it was tied to an arrow protruding from the body of a dead panda. Konatsu untied it and opened it. She recognized the handwriting instantly.

"Oh, no!" she cried out. She ran to the back room, bursting through the doorway.

"Everyone!" she yelled. "It's terrible! Mistress Ukyo has been kidnapped, and it's all my fault!"

To Be Continued


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

Ukyo had been kidnapped by Koantsu's stepmother and stepsisters.

The collection of St. Hebereke girls stood in the kitchen at Uchan's along with Ryoga and Konatsu. They stared at the ransom note, then at the panda lying on the floor. An arrow still protruded from its back.

"It's bad enough that they kidnap my new Mistress," Konatsu cried. "But did they have to kill a panda, too? Why? Those animals are endangered!"

The panda on the kitchen floor held up a sign that read, "I'm not dead yet."

Kohana raised an eyebrow. "It says it's not dead yet," she pointed out.

"Right. You girls stay here," Ryoga said. "I'll rescue Ukyo."

"Are you crazy?" Kaida exclaimed. "You can't go alone. You'll be killed!" She paused, then glanced at Nabiki as if to confirm her statement. Nabiki shrugged noncommittally.

"Don't worry," Ryoga said. "I'll be fine."

"Oh?" Nabiki replied. "And how will you _find _them, pray tell?"

Ryoga looked flustered. "I'll... I'll take the panda with me. They're good at tracking, I've heard...."

"_I've _never heard that," Miyuki said.

"Me either," Kohana added. "Although _this _particular panda might be different...."

The panda held up a second sign. It read, "No! I refuse to go!"

Konatsu placed a hand on Ryoga's shoulder. At some point the waitress had transformed from her kimono and apron into her patched red ninja garb. "That's very brave of you, Ryoga-chan, but my stepmother and stepsisters are fierce kunoichi. Alone, you don't stand a chance. However, with my help, we may be able to defeat them... and then I will truly be free!"

"I'll help, too," Akela added. "I'm not as good as Ranma or Akane, but I can still fight."

"I'll come," Sachiko said.

"Yeah, Sachiko's an _awesome _swordswoman," Miyuki said. "I'll come too. Somebody needs to film everything, after all."

XXX

Ryoga, Akela, Sachiko and Konatsu walked between shadowy trees and out into the open area of the park, where moonlight glittered off a tranquil pond. Ryoga pulled a very reluctant panda along with him.

"Stepmother? Stepsisters?" Konatsu called out.

"You cowards!" Ryoga growled. "Show yourselves!"

Trailing at a safe distance, Miyuki trained the eye of her camera on the five rescuers. "Oh, this is _sooo_ romantic," she breathed. "The beautiful, mistreated girl versus her evil stepmother and stepsisters, with the hand of her Prince to win! It's just like Cinderella!"

Behind her were the other St. Hebereke girls – Rin, Kaida, Tomari, her older sister Kohana, and Nabiki Tendo.

"_Exactly_ like Cinderella," Nabiki said acerbically, "except that Cinderella is a ninja girl who works in a brothel, Prince Charming is another girl in love with someone else, and the Princess needs to save the Prince."

"It's still romantic," Kaida said. "Even better with a girl saving another girl, if you ask me."

The surface of the pond rippled. Three strange creatures arose. Claws and horns flashed in the moonlight. At first they appeared to be sea monsters – but they were actually Konatsu's stepmother and stepsisters _dressed_ as sea monsters. This was somehow even more horrible.

"Kunoichi Sea Creature Strike!" the trio yelled out.

"Green Sea Turtle, Eater of Kelp!" the short stepmother called out. She was indeed decked out in a turtle costume.

"Water Demon, Eater of Cucumber!" the tall, skinny stepsister yelled.

"Monkfish!" the fat one yelled. "Eater of...." she paused, then opened her impossibly large mouth, revealing a bound Ukyo Kuonji.

"Konatsu! Ryoga!" Ukyo exclaimed. "Help me!"

"Kami, those women are ugly," Miyuki said.

Nabiki nodded in agreement. "It's easy to see that they're not related to Konatsu."

"Ukyo!" Konatsu sprang into action. The turtle spun about, pointing its posterior at the ninja girl.

"Egg-Laying Turtle Strike!" it yelled. Explosive eggs peppered Konatsu, who was flung back.

"Eerie Water-Demon Light!" the one dressed as a kappa yelled. She tilted her head down in Ryoga's direction. He was blinded momentarily, then leaped forward, slamming a fist into the kappa's head. "You think a light's going to stop me?" he yelled.

Ukyo glared at the other three rescuers, who were doing nothing. "Are you guys going to rescue me or what?" she yelled. "Hello, over here! Girl in distress!"

The panda held up a sign that said, "I'm scared to approach that much ugly!"

Sachiko raised her katana above her head. "Very well," she said. "Shinmei-ryu special attack: Zanganken Ni-no-Tachi modified!" As the sword slashed downward, she added, "Costume Cleaving Strike!"

A thin wave of chi energy slashed down and out with the sword strike. The monkfish kunoichi froze for a second, and then her costume split in two, one half falling to each side of her. Ukyo fell forward to land in the shallow pond.

The largest of the kunoichi stepsisters was momentarily naked. The panda shut its eyes, then held up a sign. Written on them in large letters was this message:

"Kami in heaven! I can _never_ unsee that!"

XXX

Friday dawned with a sense of doom.

"Have you thought of a club yet?" Ranma asked. She faced off against Akane in the back yard.

"Nooo..." Akane replied. "We've still got until the end of the day, right?"

Ranma launched an attack. Akane fell back, blocking every attack, although this took _all _her concentration. Ranma continued to talk, proof that she _still _wasn't attacking with everything she had, "We need to come up with something before then. Otherwise, we're going to wind up in some club baking cakes or arranging flowers or some other girly crap."

Akane frowned. Sometimes she thought that it would serve Ranma right to be stuck doing "girly crap".

XXX

"Nabiki! Time to get up!"

Nabiki groaned. Sunlight was streaming in through the window. She blinked in confusion, not recognizing where she was. Then the events of the previous night came back to her in a rush. The fight in the park, by the lake. The ugly, fat-lipped women in the weird animal outfits, including the tall angular woman dressed as a furry bunny and the huge, fat one dresses as a flying squirrel. Her, Nabiki Tendo, dressed in a playboy bunny suit and hanging by her wrists from a tree....

Nabiki gave an involuntary shudder. _That _sort of thing happened to her sister Akane, not to her. She was the ice queen. She was the observer. She was never personally involved.

After all of that, she'd crashed at Ukyo's place, along with Ryoga and the ninja girl Konatsu.

Nabiki snorted. Ninja girl. What a laugh. The world's greatest kunoichi was, in fact, a boy.

Nabiki rolled over, still half asleep. She got to her feet and stumbled down the hallway to the toilet. It was, she thought, a good thing that Konantsu had refused to sleep in the bedrooms upstairs and had instead slept on the floor below. Sleeping in Ukyo's room would have been awkward, given last night's revelations. Ryoga, of course, slept downstairs too. Whatever you might say about the wandering boy, he did have a strong sense of chivalry.

At least, another part of her mind added, when he was in human form.

After washing her face, Nabiki stared at herself in the mirror. She felt good. She felt alive. Last night had been chaotic; it had been a bit dangerous and a bit scary. Most of all, it had been thrilling. She'd missed that feeling. The single week at Furinkhan without Ranma and Akane around had felt like a lifetime – and a very dull one at that. There had been no exciting fights, no special combat techniques, nothing to break up the monotony of the school day.

Nabiki knew she would take Ukyo up on her job offer. She could swallow her pride and work as a hostess if it meant she could stay here, near the action. It wasn't just the best offer she was likely to find, it was her best chance to be at the center of whatever adventures lay ahead for Ranma and all of her friends. Above all, Nabiki couldn't stand not being near the center of the storm.

XXX

The sounds of fighting carried across the back lawn and into the kitchen, where Nodoka Saotome was putting the finishing touches on breakfast. The telephone rang and she moved to the hallway to answer it.

Moments later two exhausted girls stepped through the back door. "Wow, Mom, it smells fantastic," Ranma exclaimed, sitting down to eat.

Nodoka smiled. "Why thank you, Ranma-chan. I have some good news. The optometrist just called, and your glasses are ready."

Ranma's hand paused for just a second in its path from bowl to mouth. "That's...that's great," she said guardedly.

"If you leave early, you can pick them up on the way to school," Nodoka added. It sounded like a suggestion, but by her tone it was an instruction to be obeyed without question.

Ranma began scooping up her food even faster. "Hurry, Akane!" she said between mouthfuls. "We don't got much time!"

"Why?" Akane retorted. "You don't need _my _help to pick up your glasses." All the same, she ate more quickly. Minutes later the two girls were flying down the street like only Nerima martial artists could.

XXX

"Wow," Ranma said, staring up into the trees above the sidewalk. "I can see _leaves_." Ranma had not been enthusiastic about her new glasses until she'd put them on. Suddenly she was a convert.

"You couldn't before now?" Akane asked.

"Not like this," Ranma said. "Everything's crisp and sharp."

"It's _supposed _to be that way,' Akane replied.

"I don't remember _ever _being able to see this well. Not for a while, anyway."

Akane smiled. "I guess you really _did _need glasses, then."

Miyuki was waiting at the front gates with an extra bento for Ranma, as usual. "Ranma, Akane!" she exclaimed. "You'll never guess what happened last night! Ukyo got kidnapped by Konatsu's evil step mother and step sisters! They're a vicious gang of _really _ugly kunoichi, and we had to fight them! You should have seen it – Konatsu was fantastic! She knows _so many _cool ninja moves! Sachiko used some of her _best _secret sword moves, I almost _never _get to see those even though I'm her best friend. And Ukyo -- I had _no idea _Ukyo was such a good martial artist. Who ever heard of okonomiyaki martial arts anyway? That was just _incredible._ Even Akela did well, and that boy Ryoga who you fought before, he was _amazing_, he was so nice to help us and he did this thing that shattered rocks and there was another attack that was a massive ball of black, explosive chi, and...oh my gosh, there was this martial artist panda, how in the _world _did they ever train a panda to fight like that? Only he ran away after they captured Ukyo and Nabiki and luckily I got it all on video tape but I ran out of tape and...the hell? Ranma, you're wearing glasses!"

Ranma stared at Miyuki in stunned silence. She reached up to touch her new frames. "Uh... yeah. I got them today," she said.

"There was a big fight last night?" Akane asked. Miyuki held up her hand imperiously.

"No, no. We can talk about that later," Miyuki said. "_This _is more important. She circled Ranma, studying her critically.

"I don't know," she said. "Meganekko-moe? Do you really think that will work?"

"Meganekko... girl glasses what?" Ranma asked, confused.

"I mean, _sure_, it makes you more sympathetic to have a glaring defect -- something other than your rough speech and thoughtlessness I mean, those are big defects of course but not the kind that elicit any sympathy in the reader -- but glasses?" Miyuki continued to study Ranma from several angles. "I _guess _it could work...."

"Miyuki," Ranma said, "I have _no _idea what you're talking about...."

Miyuki snapped her fingers. "I know! It's a disguise -- part of your transformation, see? Just like Clark Kent. By day you're the mild-mannered, studious, cute little moe library girl, then at night you transform into the ass-kicking super sentai magical girl...."

"Studious library girl?" Akane said. "Are you sure you've got the right person?"

Miyuki wasn't listening. "It might help if you braid your hair, you know? Two pigtails, I mean, one on each side. That would complete the shy, studious look...."

"Really?" Ranma said. "You think so?" She thought about it a second, then shook her head. "Nah. Look, Miyuki, I don't transform. And these aren't a disguise... at least, _today _they're not. Not really, and not from now on. I actually need these to help me see better."

"Then you don't take them off when you fight?"

Ranma frowned. "No. I mean, I haven't had to fight in them yet, but being able to see better will probably help me fight even better...."

"Weeeeell," Miyuki said slowly, "Okay then. I'll just have to work around it. But really, a martial arts prodigy magical girl who's the main character but also a meganekko-moe? It just doesn't feel right."

"What do you mean, 'work around it?'"

"Don't worry, Ranma!" Miyuki said, grinning. "It'll work out somehow!"

XXX

"And then they kidnapped me and Nabiki and hung us from a tree dressed in playboy bunny outfits..." Ukyo paused, then added, "I have _no _idea what that part was about...."

"Nabiki, in a bunny suit?" Akane asked in disbelief. "Did you get any pictures?"

"Miyuki filmed it, I think," Ukyo said. "They were dressed up as forest creatures – the fat one was supposed to be a flying squirrel. Ryoga and your dad fought with them, Ranma, and the squirrel crashed into the branch we were hanging from and broke it. Konatsu caught Nabiki but then threw her at Ryoga, and caught me instead... I think about then is when your father ran away... anyway, Konatsu was going to leave and go back with her sisters, but I just told her to get back to work, and her sisters finally gave up and let her go."

"Wow," Akane said. "And to think that we were sitting in our room studying the whole time."

"Something seems weird about that," Ranma added. "A big fight happens involving all of my friends and even Pops, and I'm _not _involved?"

"Ranma," Ukyo said, "I know this might be hard for you to grasp, but the world _doesn't _revolve around you."

Ranma shrugged. "But you have to admit, I'm almost always in the middle of these things."

Akane giggled. "I guess that _is _true. Maybe your mother really _has _found a way to break the cycle of chaos that follows you?"

"I wish you _had _been there, to be honest," Ukyo said. "Those kunoichi were as tough as they were ugly! If it wasn't for Ryoga, Sachiko and Akela, I don't know _what _would have happened. But you know the strangest part? It turns out Konatsu is actually a guy!"

"The kunoichi girl? No way!" Ranma exclaimed. "I _know _she was flat-chested, but she was better looking than... er... some girls I could name...."

"You were saying?" Akane growled.

"Nothing," Ranma said. "Nothing at all. I don't need _any _more girl problems, trust me."

Just then the bell rang. Everyone took their seats. "Good morning, class!" Miss Shindou called out. "Today we have yet _another _student joining us. Please say hello to Shampoo of the Joketzu Amazon tribe, all the way from the Quinghai Province of Western China...."

Ranma's head hit the desk. "Why me?" she moaned.

"Nihao, Ranma!" Shampoo called out.

XXX

Nabiki came to visit Akane between classes. She leaned against the doorway, eyes sweeping the room.

"So the rumors are true," she said. She inclined her head to indicate where Shampoo was surrounded by girls asking her questions. "I _heard _she showed up this morning. I'm surprised – if I had known, I'd have made certain to have pictures of her on hand."

Akane rolled her eyes. 'Gee, sis, I'm so sorry you missed out on such a money-making opportunity."

Nabiki shrugged. "I can bring some tomorrow. Any clue why she's here?"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Following Ranma, _obviously_. What did you think?"

"She was never a student at Furinkhan," Nabiki said. "Why go to school now?"

"Maybe she's not really registered," Akane replied.

"I can check," Nabiki said, "but it sounds like she is. I _think _Cologne will stick to her promise and wait the two years until graduation, so... probably she wants Shampoo to learn our language and culture more, and to be around Ranma more." Nabiki nodded. "Yes, that would be a good long-term strategy. That's probably all it is."

Ranma joined them. Nabiki stared at the redhead.

"Glasses, Ranma?" she asked. "No, let me guess: they make you look studious."

"Nah," Ranma said. "These ones aren't props, Nabiki. They're real."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Ranma had an eye exam two days ago," Akane said. "We picked up her glasses from the optometrist this morning."

Nabiki stared at the two of them for a long moment. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Ranma said.

"Is it really that surprising?" Akane asked. "Ranma's father wears glasses, after all."

"It's just – I'm usually a little more on top of things," Nabiki said. "I don't _like _feeling like I'm out of the loop or not in the know. No pictures of Shampoo on hand, and now I find out I need to build up a collection of Ranma-chan in glasses. Speaking of which...." She pulled out her camera and snapped a picture.

"If you think _that's _surprising, Sis, wait until you see Ranma's test score."

Ranma glanced at Akane, then held up a sheet of paper.

Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "84%? Is this a joke?"

"Of course not," Ranma replied. "It's only a pop quiz, but... I've been studying a lot this week."

Nabiki stared at Ranma for a long moment. "You know, Saotome," she said, "I think it's about time we carried out the first of our three special challenges."

"Challenges? You mean to see who's the better girl student?"

"That's right. I set the rules, and your Mother and Kasumi are the judges. Think you're ready?"

Ranma grinned. "Sure, bring it on," she said. "I'm ready anytime, anywhere. What did you have in mind?"

"For the first challenge? Something simple, just to start out with," Nabiki said. She tapped her chin as if in thought. "How about a hair cut?"

"A hair cut?" Ranma frowned. "What's difficult about that?"

"_Everything_," Nabiki said. "A girl's hair is her life. A good hair cut can put you on cloud nine; a bad one can drop you to the depths of hell. What you do with your hair says everything about you. You can ask Akane about that – the _sole _reason she spent two years growing her hair out was because she thought Dr. Tofo might like her then."

Akane's eyes flashed anger. "Nabiki! Leave me out of your stupid challenge!"

"Not that I've ever seriously subscribed to the theory myself," Nabiki said, "but that's my challenge: whoever gets the prettiest and most feminine hair style wins round one. Deal?"

"Nabiki, that's no fair..." Akane began.

"Deal!" Ranma held out her hand. "I accept."

"Ranma...."

"No problem, Akane, Ranma said. "My hair's longer than Nabiki's...I can do a lot more with it. This one's easy."

Nabiki smiled sweetly. "Then you can't possibly _lose_, can you?"

"I never lose, Nabiki. _You_, of all people, know that."

"Good," Nabiki said. "Meet in the Vice Principal's office after school."

XXX

Ranma and Akane ate lunch under the tree as they had all week. It seemed odd to think that, only four days ago, they'd been almost universally shunned, with only Kohana deciding to eat with them. Now there were a dozen girls in their group of the supposedly unpopular – Ranma, Akane, Kaida, her friends Rin and Akela, Miyuki, her friends Tomari and Sachiko, Kohana, Ukyo, Nabiki, and Shampoo. Add to that other girls queued to buy okonomiyaki from Ukyo, and it was quite crowded.

"So, Shampoo," Ukyo said as she cooked. "Are you just visiting us today, or is this a permanent thing?"

"See school uniform?" Shampoo asked. "Shampoo is St. Hebereke student now."

"Why is that?" Akane asked. "You were never a student Furinkhan."

Shampoo shrugged. "Shampoo not know. Grandmother say is two year for Ranma graduate, is good Shampoo use time learn Japanese." She made a face. "Is stupid waste of time. Shampoo_ already _speak Japanese."

Nabiki smirked. "Oh, is that what you call it?"

Kaida stared the purple-haired Amazon. "Wow," she said. "When you guys said Shampoo was cute, you seriously weren't kidding."

Shampoo's face lit up. "Ranma say Shampoo cute?"

"No," Ranma said. As Shampoo's expression turned angry, she added, "I just mean I didn't _say _that, of course. You _are _cute, obviously." She glanced sidelong at Ukyo and Akane. "I don't mean you're the _only _cute girl I know...."

"Ranma, just shut up," Akane said.

"Ranma say Shampoo cute! Shampoo so happy!" The Amazon lunged forward to hug Ranma. She ran into an over-sized spatula.

"No hugging, Sugar," Ukyo said. "Remember your promise."

Shampoo glared at the chef. "Shampoo not forget."

Kaida grinned. "So... is it true that you two girls used to chase after Ranma?"

Ukyo glanced at Ranma, Akane and Shampoo with a guarded expression. "It's okay," Ranma said. "She knows I'm sometimes a guy."

"Ranma and I were engaged to be married when we were young," Ukyo said.

"Ditto," Akane added, somewhat reluctantly.

"Right now Ranma just girl friend," Shampoo stated, as if reading from a memorized script. "After graduation, Ranma become Airen again!"

"So you're really an Amazon warrior, Shampoo?" Miyuki asked, eyes wide. "Are you a brilliant martial artist too, like Ranma and Akane and Ukyo?"

"Shampoo best young warrior in amazon tribe!" Shampoo replied, flexing her forearms. "Only one better is Ranma!"

Akane glared. Ukyo growled, "Say that after you've _defeated _me, Sugar,"

Shampoo leaped to her feet. "Shampoo take down Spatula Girl anytime, anywhere."

"You're on," Ukyo said, bringing her battle spatula around.

"NO FIGHTING DURING SCHOOL!" Ranma, Akane, Miyuki and Kaida all shouted together. The chef and the Amazon stared in surprise.

"Why not?" Ukyo asked.

"Ranma will get in trouble," Miyuki said. The other girls nodded. Shampoo and Ukyo both looked to Ranma, who also nodded. They sat back down.

XXX

After lunch, Ranma and Akane stood in the hall outside the Vice Principal's office.

"You ready?" Ranma asked. Akane nodded. "Well then, here goes nothing. Remember, if we can't talk her out of it then we both join the karate club. At least we can spar against each other for an hour before going home, or something...."

"Got it," Akane said.

Ranma went to push open the door. She paused. The sound of a very familiar and pompous voice came from the other side.

"Vice Principal Saotome, I fail to see why you won't allow me to transfer to this fine learning establishment. My family line is impeccable, the cost is but a trifle, and my own dear sister is already in attendance...."

"That may be, Mr. Kuno, but the fact remains that you are male. This is a school for _girls_."

"I can understand why you would compliment me on my manliness...."

"It was not a compliment, Mr. Kuno. It's just the facts of the matter."

"Nevertheless, the truth of my situation is that ever since your daughters have transferred from my own halls of learning my life has been as drab and lifeless as a dead rose bush."

"That's quite poetically put. However, I rather think that you, Mr. Kuno, was a large _part _of the problem plaguing my daughter Ranma at her old school, and thus one of the very _reasons _she transferred to St. Hebereke...."

"I? My good woman, I would _never _deign to trouble the slightest hair on the head of the beauteous pig-tailed girl, nor would I disturb the fair Akane Tendo, save it be with the love that I have for each of them...."

"Mister Kuno! You may _not_, under any circumstances, transfer to this school. _I _will not allow it, my _superiors _will not allow it, and your own father, the Principal at Furinkhan High, has specifically warned me that he will not, under any circumstances, authorize the transfer of his only son to any other school, even _if _you submitted to a haircut first – whatever _that _means. Now, if there is nothing else I can help you with...."

There was a long pause.

"I.... see. Then, perhaps your kendo club could use the assistance of an outside consultant and part-time instructor?"

Ranma locked eyes with Akane. "We should come back later," she whispered.

Akane nodded vigorously. "And we're not joining the kendo club under _any _circumstances," she whispered back.

XXX

Meanwhile, Nabiki had cornered Shampoo before the two were due back to class. The two spoke for several minutes in low tones in the shadow of the stairwell.

"Is simple," Shampoo said. "Grandmother have potion just like that."

"Good," Nabiki said. "Can you get it to me by the end of the day?"

Shampoo's eyes narrowed. "What Shampoo get in return?"

"Well, not a date with Ranma – that would violate your agreement, right?"

Shampoo frowned. "True. Shopping trip with Ranma, then? Is friendly shopping trip between girls is too too good friends?"

Nabiki nodded. "I'm sure I can arrange that," she said. "It's a deal."

XXX

Ranma and Akane headed to the locker room for P.E. In the middle of a crowded school hallway, Ranma came to an abrupt halt. Akane nearly plowed into her.

"Ranma?" Akane asked. Ranma turned and pushed her way through the crowd. Their friend Miyuki Gojo was busy taping something to the hallway bulletin board.

"Miyuki, what are you doing?" Ranma asked.

Miyuki jumped. She spun about. "Oh, hey, Ranma, Akane," she said. "I was... ah.. just putting up something...."

Ranma snatched a sheet from Miyuki's hands. She scanned the text. "Saturday at Noon on the Soccer Field: A Battle Royale! See Super Martial Artist Princess Ranma Saotome battle Rhythmic Gymnast Queen Kodachi Kuno, followed by a second battle between Ranma and Kendo Queen Shizuko Satori! Who will win? Food to be provided by Uchan's Okonomiyaki Restaurant!"

All of this was accompanied by a rather well-drawn picture of Ranma on one side facing Kodachi on the other.

"Martial Artist Princess?" Akane asked, laughing.

Ranma glared at Miyuki. "What do you call _this_?"

"Duh, Ranma. It's a _poster_. What did you think?"

Ranma shredded the poster. "Thanks, but no thanks, Miyuki. I got enough idiots challenging me already; the last thing I need is to advertise."

"But, Ranma...."

"No buts," Ranma said. "Later."

After Ranma and Akane were gone, Miyuki pulled another poster from her backpack and taped it to the bulletin board. She had printed a thousand of them, after all.

XXX

Fifteen minutes after the last bell had sounded, Ranma and Akane sat on the front steps of the school. Ranma looked miserable.

"We've still got five minutes," Akane said. "Haven't you made a decision yet?"

"Nooooo," Ranma replied. "What about you?"

Akane shrugged. "Softball club, maybe," she said. "I like playing, at least."

Ranma sighed.

"I _guess _I could do that," she replied. "Or maybe football. I mean, if I _have _to join a club...."

"Or we could still do the karate club," Akane said. "True, they practice _right next door _to the kendo club, which may or may not have a new student advisor from another school...."

The front door opened quietly. A moment later, Kohana was standing behind them.

"Still trying to come up with a school club?" she asked in her usual near-monotone. The two girls nodded. "Well, don't worry about it. It's all being taken care of."

Ranma stood. "Kohana, the _last _thing I want is for Mom to pick a club for me... she'd probably stick me with flower arranging or something dumb like that...."

"Oh, no," Kohana said. "It's much better than that. _Trust _me...."

XXX

(Ten minutes earlier)

Kohana Honda sat. In front of her, seated behind a desk, was St. Herebeke's Vice Principal Nodoka Saotome.

"Welcome, Kohana," Mrs. Saotome said. "How may I help you?"

"I understand that Ranma and Akane are expected to join a school club," Kohana said.

"Yes," Nodoka replied. "By the end of school today, in fact." She glanced at her watch. "Which will be in about fifteen minutes." She smiled and added, "I consider school clubs to be an essential part of the high school experience. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but my daughter Ranma is _especially _weak on social skills. A club is just what she and Akane need."

Kohana nodded. "That's why I'm here. It seems that none of the current school clubs appeal to Ranma or Akane...."

Mrs. Saotome frowned. "So they've said, but either they _pick _one, or I shall pick one for them. Tell me, Kohana, are you in a school club?"

"Not at the moment," Kohana replied. "However, my idea was to form a brand new club that would be of interest to Ranma, Akane and myself."

Nodoka's faced brightened. "Why, that's an _excellent _idea, Kohana. Did you have anything in mind?"

"Ranma has shown some interest in Gothic Lolita fashion," Kohana said. "I am interested in all things Gothic, especially witchcraft and the study of the dark arts. I was thinking perhaps of a Gothic Lolita Black Magic Club."

Nodoka frowned. "Gothic Lolita? Black Magic? I'm not sure that those are proper subjects...."

"Gothic fashions are quite popular these days," Kohana said. "Magic is also a quite popular subject. Look at the success of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. Certainly _anything _that gets your daughter to read, even books such as those, is a good thing. Of course, it's the _social _aspect of the club that is most important...."

"Those are all very good points," Nodoka said, nodding. "I will have to give it some consideration, although I was thinking perhaps that a cooking or fashion club would be useful....."

The door burst open and Miyuki Gojo bounded into the room. "Saotome-sensei! Saotome-sensei! IheardthatRanmaneedstojoinaclubandIhadthisbrilliantidea...."

"Miss Gojo!" Nodoka scolded. "Please, Miyuki slow down. Show a little decorum."

"Oh! Sorry, sorry!" The girl bowed several times, then looked up excitedly. "I know that Ranma needs to join a club, and I've got the perfect solution!" With a flourish, the first year student unfurled a large banner that read 'Magical Girl Appreciation Society'. "What do you think?"

"You want to form a club?"

"Yes! And Ranma will be my first member!"

"I suppose," Kohana said, "that you've talked my sister Tomari and her friend Sachiko into this idea of yours?"

Miyuki glanced about. "Kohana!" she exclaimed. "Well, of course! Akane and Ukyo can join, too. And Shampoo! The more magical girls the better!"

"I had a similar idea...." Kohana began.

Before she could go any further, three more girls crowded into the room.

Nodoka looked them over. "Kaida, Rin, and Akela," she said. "Good afternoon. How may I be of service?"

"We're here to form a club," Kaida said. "Ranma and Akane need to join one, right? Two of us aren't in any clubs at the moment, and Akela's only the Rugby Club, so we propose forming the Anything Goes Club."

"I see," Nodoka replied. "That seems to be a _very _popular thing to do, all of a sudden. What sort of club would this 'Anything Goes Club' be?"

Kaida grinned. "It's a club for people who appreciate Ranma."

Nodoka's eyebrow twitched. "Appreciate... Ranma?"

Kaida laughed lightly. "Oh! Silly me, is that what I said? I meant, for people who appreciate Ranma's style of martial arts. Of course."

"Ah. I see. What would the club do?"

Rin said, "Well, we know Ranma's really not interested in anything besides studying and martial arts, so we thought we'd form a special club around that. We could help Ranma and Akane practice, and they could teach us some of what they know."

"Ranma and Akane won't have to do any extra work," Kaida said. I'll be the President, Akela will be Vice President, and Rin will be Treasurer. We can take care of all the details ourselves."

"And after meetings we can help Ranma and Akane study," Akela added.

Nodoka smiled. "Why, girls, that's a _very _good idea. In fact, that's the best idea I've heard yet."

"Hello, Auntie Saotome," Nabiki said, walking into the room.

"Ah, Nabiki. Welcome!" Nodoka paused and saw an expectant look in Nabiki's face. 'Hmm, let me guess... you wish to form a club?"

"How very perceptive of you," Nabiki said. "In fact, I had an idea for a club that would be _perfect _for Ranma and Akane...."

"I see. Well then, what is _your _idea, Nabiki?"

"I call it the Cupcake Cutie Club," Nabiki said. "It would involve a lot of things that Ranma, Akane and I already have in common... my love of photography, their experience working as models for my photo shoots...."

"An appreciation for cupcakes?" Kaida asked, sarcastically.

"Oh yes," Nabiki said. "Cheesecake too. I thought we might do a... a calendar of select _photos _that we could sell to raise money for the club...."

"I'll buy one," Kaida said automatically. "_More _than one. In fact, I'll help you _fund _it... you want it to be nice and large, with a glossy, professional finish...."

Nabiki smiled sweetly. "Kaida, I think you understand me perfectly...."

Rin and Akela paused to consider this for a moment. "I'll buy one too!" Rin exclaimed.

"Mmmm," Akela said. "I can just _imagine _one of those in my locker...."

Never one to miss a business opportunity, Nabiki's smile widened. "Why, girls, I _might _already have something that you'd be interested in. You should come see me later...."

"Now, wait a second!" Miyuki exclaimed. "This isn't about martial arts or photo shoots. This is about...." She paused, considering what she was going to say. "This is about cute girls in cute magical girl costumes... performing martial arts for photo shoots!"

Nabiki considered this.

"Cute magical girl outfits? Those would _sell _well, I admit, especially at an all-girl's school. But there's considerably more overhead...."

"Oh, that's no problem at all," Miyuki said, waiving her hands in a dismissive manner. "I design most of the costumes myself. I have a very large budget to work with."

Nabiki smiled. "In that case, I'm _sure _we could work it in."

"I believe _I _was here first," Kohana said.

Nabiki studied the goth girl for a moment. "And your idea was...?"

"A Gothic Lolita Black Magic Club," Kohana said.

"No problem at all," Miyuki said confidently. "Magical Girls are magic by definition, and _most _of my outfits favor Lolita styles. Sweet Lolita more than Gothic, I'll admit, -- you've seen Card Captor Sakura, right? Gothic is just a matter of adding more black and lace and skulls and... silver crosses, and such." She nodded confidently. "No problem at all."

"Well, girls," Nodoka said, folding her hands together. "It seems to me that the best solution is to combine _all _of your ideas into one club. That way you can all work together towards a common goal. Am I right?"

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Well, as long as I'm President..."

"Don't be silly," Kaida replied. "_I'll _be President...."

"No, no, no!" Miyuki exclaimed. "It's _my _idea! _I'll _be President!"

XXX

Kohana smiled. "Ranma, you and Akane are the first members of a brand new club, formed just for you: The Anything Goes Magical Loligoth Cupcake Girl Appreciation Society."

In the silence that followed, you could have heard a flower petal fall.

"I'm a member of _what _club?" Ranma growled.

"The Anything Goes Magical Loligoth Cupcake Girl Appreciation Society?" Akane asked. "What the heck is a Magical Goth Loli Cupcake Girl?"

"You are," Kohana said. "At least, you _will _be...."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Akane's voice rose in pitch.

"I suspect the important part is the phrase is 'Anything Goes,'" said Kohana. "It means that the club can be whatever you want it to be. But specifically, it encompasses everything that you and your friends here have in common... your martial arts and Ranma's interest in Gothic Lolita fashion, my interests in magic and Gothic clothing, Miyuki's obsession with magical girls... Kaida's obsession with girls in general... and Nabiki's interest in photography."

"Nabiki's interest in photography?" Ranma repeated. "Oh, that's just fantastic! I can't _wait _for that one."

"Whose idea was this?" Akane asked. "Who's in charge?"

"Well, let's see," Kohana replied. "There's the President of Everyday Club Functions and Events – that's Kaida. Akela is her Vice President, and Rin is the club Secretary. Then there's the President of Photography and Club Promotions – that's Nabiki; she doubles as the club's Treasurer."

"Of course," Akane said, rolling her eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Miyuki is, of course, President of Club Costumes and all things Magical-Girl related. They're still in your mom's office working out the details, but I told them I'd settle for being Secretary of the Dark Arts."

"Only a secretary?" Akane asked.

"Oh, yes," Kohana said. Her face was briefly graced by one of her trademark almost-smiles. "I prefer to rule from the shadows, after all."

"And everyone has a title?" Akane asked. "Aren't there _any _regular club members?"

"You two, of course," Kohana said. "There's also Sachiko and my sister Tomari, and, if Miyuki has her way, Shampoo and Ukyo are destined to join...."

"Actually," Akane said, "I don't think you'll be able to _stop _them from joining...."

XXX

Kasumi Tendo met Nabiki, Ranma, Akane and Nododa downtown. They walked through a department store, which made Ranma nervous – she was expecting the others to start _shopping _at any moment. But soon enough they stood outside a place called Sakura Beauty Salon and Spa.

This, of course, was not an improvement in Ranma's mind. Even the idea of walking into such a place made her shudder, never mind the reason she was here tonight.

"Oh, this is so exciting!" Kasumi exclaimed. "A challenge to see who can have the most beautiful hair. Is this martial arts hairstyling, then?"

"Not exactly," Akane said. "Ranma and Nabiki aren't the ones doing the styling, after all."

"Oh, yes," Kasumi replied. "Of course you're right, Akane. Still, I can't think of a nicer contest than to see who can be made the prettiest."

"Akane," Nodoka said, "Kasumi and I will act as judges, but in case of a tie, will you cast the deciding vote?"

"Of course, Mother Saotome," Akane said.

"Well then," Nabiki said. "Shall I go first?"

Nabiki was gone for over an hour. The women waited in the lobby. Kasumi and Nodoka looked through magazines. Akane did her homework. Ranma fidgeted, too nervous to concentrate on anything. Finally Nabiki reappeared. For several moments the others stared at her in stunned silence.

"Well? Tell me what you think," Nabiki said. "Or does it really look that bad?"

"Nabiki," Kasumi whispered. "You look _beautiful_."

"Do you really think so?" Nabiki slowly turned about.

"Oh yes, I do," said Kasumi. Improbably, Nabiki's hair was long – longer even than Kasumi's, falling nearly to her waist. A soft, gentle curl had been added that gave it a great deal of body. Even her bangs were slightly curled. A white ribbon held her hair back from her face, with a bow atop her head. A matching bow gathered her hair together halfway down her back.

"What is that, a wig?" Ranma asked accusingly. "Wigs don't count."

"Oh, I am _quite _sure a wig would count if I were to wear it every day," Nabiki replied. "However this is no wig. This is my actual hair."

"No it isn't," Ranma insisted. "That's impossible."

Nabiki's eyebrow went up. "You think so? Come now, Ranma, _you _of all people should realize that there are magical ways to grow one's hair quickly."

Ranma's eyes grew wide. "The Dragon's Whisker?"

"No, don't be stupid," Nabiki replied. "If any of that were around, you think your father or our resident master and panty thief wouldn't have found it by now? Besides as you well know, that thing doesn't work on women. No, this was just a simple hair growth formula that I obtained from the Amazons. It would be of no use to a bald man like Genma, but for my purposes it gave me over two year's growth in just about twenty minutes. Neat, huh?"

Nabiki turned about again, obviously quite pleased with herself. "It looks fabulous, sis," Akane said. "You even look a bit like Kasumi."

"Or like Akane when she had long hair," Kasumi agreed.

Nabiki nodded. "I noticed that. Tied back in a bow, even. I'm not sure I've ever _owned _any hair bows before. I might have to pick up a few now. I think I'll keep it this long for at least a month or two."

"It doesn't suit you," Ranma said.

"Oh? And why not?" Nabiki replied. "Is it _too _feminine for the famous ice queen of Furinkhan? Am I too cool and emotionally detached for the sweet and innocent look?"

Ranma nodded. "Exactly what I was thinking."

"Well maybe I'm trying to change as much as you are, Saotome," Nabiki said sharply. "Did you ever think of that? It's time for me to get serious about my future; college is just around the corner. I can't pretend to be a small-time yakuza boss forever. Or do you _really _think that's a good career move?

"Now, Ranma-chan, do you think you can you top_ this_? Let's see you try."

XXX

Ranma disappeared into the bowels of the salon. The others sat in the lobby. Akane couldn't help staring at her sister. With long hair, she looked so completely _different_.

"Nabiki," she said, "did you _really _mean what you said to Ranma? All that about changing who you are?"

"Of course I did, sis," Nabiki quipped. "Why do you ask?"

"Because," Akane replied. "Does that mean you'll stop selling pictures of me?"

Nabiki sighed.

"Baby steps, Akane," she said. "Baby steps. I can't change everything about me overnight."

XXX

Ranma gripped the arms of the salon chair like a sumo warrior primed for battle. She'd never been more terrified in her life. Dragons? Demons? Mythical warriors? Master panty thieves? These things she could face down with no trace of fear, but a girlish haircut?

_Soul of ice_ , Ranma repeated to herself. This was a battle between her and Nabiki. Nabs had fired the first volley, and it had been an excellent one. Ranma simply had to go one better.

_I can do this_ , Ranma thought. The secret was to play it cute. Nabiki went for beauty and was able to pull it off. She even managed the innocent look of her elder sister, although paired with Nabiki's sharp, hawk-like eyes it wound up being a more sophisticated sort of innocent look. All along Ranma had been aiming for an equally sophisticated look, a la Rei Hino. But in battle mode Ranma always trusted her instincts. She knew that she could _never _out-sophisticate the ice queen. But cute? That Ranma could pull off. She had cute in spades.

It wouldn't be easy. Drastic measures were called for.

"Now then, Miss Ranma," the hair stylist said. "What would you like?"

"Something totally and completely girly," Ranma said. "As cute and girly as possible."

The woman raised her eyebrows. "Did you have something particular in mind?"

Ranma shrugged. "You're the expert," she said. "What do you recommend?"

The stylist eyed her critically for a moment. "Have you considered a perm?"

"I don't know," Ranma said. "What does that mean?"

"A permanent wave," the stylist replied. "Tell me, when was your hair last dyed?"

"It's not dyed," Ranma said. The beautician looked closer.

"Really? That's a beautiful shade of hair."

"I don't know about doing anything permanent," Ranma said. "What if I want to change it later?"

The woman laughed. "Don't be silly, Dear. It will grow out, and if you don't like it you can even get it undone. But if you want something cute, I _do _recommend a nice perm. You'll look cute with your hair curled."

She pulled out a book and showed Ranma a few examples of what she was talking about. Ranma gulped, staring at the pictures. They certainly _were _girly. Did she really want to look like that?

More importantly, her pigtail was her trademark, a part of her identity. Whether a girl or a guy, she always had it. Losing it terrified her in a way she couldn't really explain.

"Curls like this will give your face a softer and more feminine look," the stylist said. "They'll go well with your glasses."

Ranma gulped again. She thought, _I'm going to look like a fool, I'm going to look like a fool, I'm going to look like a...._

_No. I can do this. And I'll win the duel by a knockout blow._

"Yeah," Ranma replied. "That's perfect! Do it!"

XXX

Ranma didn't really know what to expect. She'd _never _had her hair professionally cut before. The stylist undid the pig tail and lowered Ranma's head into a basin. She washed Ranma's hair in warm water and then worked in some conditioner. It was actually quite relaxing. The smell of coconut oil filled Ranma's nostrils. The whole process seemed oddly intimate, yet professional and clinical – much like when Dr. Tofu Ono worked on her.

Ranma was glad for the anti-transformation soap; _now _would be a particularly bad time to suddenly transform into a boy.

The next part of the process didn't smell nearly as nice. Once Ranma's hair had been bound up in tight curls, a chemical treatment was applied. It smelled horrible.

"The chemicals used can damage your hair," the stylist said, "so you don't want to do this too often, and always have a professional do it. I do not recommend perming your hair yourself."

"The thought never crossed my mind," Ranma said truthfully.

"Do not wash your hair after this for at least 48 hours – three days preferably. That will give the perm time to set. After that you'll want to use a shampoo designed to maintain the curl and a deep, moisturizing conditioner – look for products designed for 'treated' or 'permed' hair, or we can sell you some before you leave. The perming process removes a lot of your natural essential oils and those need to be replaced. You'll want to be very careful of tangles. You should comb your hair gently every morning with a wide-toothed comb, and use a rejuvenating protein spray or a curl activator to help keep the curl. Also when you dry your hair, blot at it rather than rub it. As I said, it will be more fragile."

"Geez," Ranma muttered. "It sounds like a ton of work."

"It is," the stylist replied, "but you'll get used to it quickly. The nice thing is that it's a sort of 'wash and wear' hairstyle. You won't need to set it or blow dry it or curl it."

"I never did that before now," Ranma noted.

The stylist giggled. "Really, it's not that bad, and it's well worth it. You'll look really cute!"

Half an hour later, Ranma stared into a mirror. The girl that stared back – wide round glasses and a face framed by very pretty and feminine curls – was a stranger to her. The curls bounced as she turned this way and that. Her hair _flounced_.

"See? Didn't I tell you?" the stylist said. "What do you think?"

"I look... cute...." Ranma whispered. A small part of her mind was trying to calculate how much free food a face like _this _could scam from desperate, lovesick merchants. A larger part was running around in panic.

"You'll want to come back in about four weeks to have it trimmed," the stylist said. "Should I make an appointment?"

"Uh... yeah, sure," Ranma replied, still stunned.

Ranma walked to the front of the salon in a daze. She froze when her mother and the Tendo sisters saw her.

"My goodness, Ranma!" Kasumi exclaimed. "Curls! How _precious!_ How _darling_!"

Tears came to Nodoka's eyes. "Oh, Ranma! You look positively _beautiful_."

Ranma blinked in surprise. "I... I do?" She took a step forward. "Mom, why are you crying?"

Her mother embraced her in a hug. "Forgive me, Ranma. I just never expected _anything _like this. You look like _such _a proper young lady!"

Ranma hugged her mother back. She felt tears come to her eyes, although she was completely bewildered as to why.

Akane caught her sister's eye. "Looks like you lost, sis."

Nabiki smirked. "You think so?"

"Yes, sis. Yes, I do."

"Oh, I lost the contest for prettiest hair, no question," Nabiki replied. "But look at that – I got macho-boy looking like Shirley Temple. _That _counts as a win in my book."

Akane crossed her arms. "Are you telling me that you don't care about the actual _bet_? That you plan to lose?"

Nabiki snorted. "Hardly, sis. There's no way Ranma-chan can match my grades, even studying as hard as she can." She held up a hand, forestalling Akane's protest. "Yes, I saw Ranma's pop quiz score. It's an aberration. Trust me, she _won't _be able to keep _that _up. But I certainly plan to have fun in the meantime...."

Nodoka released her hold on Ranma. She stepped back. "Well, Kasumi?" she said. "I vote that Ranma's won. Would you agree?"

Kasumi nodded. "Nabiki's long hair looks lovely, but I have to agree. Ranma in curls is the clear winner."

"Well, then. How about you, Akane?" Nodoka said. "Since we're here, did you want to get your hair styled? Maybe even a perm like Ranma?"

"Who, me?" Akane replied. "No. That is, I...." She paused to stare at Ranma. She glanced back at Nabiki. "I don't... I mean...." She glanced at Ranma again. Finally she looked at Nodoka. "You don't mind?"

"Of course not, dear."

"Then yes," Akane said. "I think I'd like that."

To Be Continued

A/N Sorry to all the people who thought I'd killed off Genma and were happy about it... I would never kill him off with one throwaway line like that. Now, a long, involved plot over several chapters... who knows? But when I originally wrote that scene I hadn't decided to end the chapter right there, so the possibility of people taking it as a serious death didn't occur to me. This all stems from my rewrite of the original manga story in which the ransom note is delivered by an arrow to Konatsu's forehead... and he reads the note while the arrow continues to protrude from his forehead. In my version of events Konatsu hadn't gotten revenge on Genma yet and wasn't even after Ranma, so I wanted to have Genma show up for the final confrontation (if only briefly)... and having the ransom note arrow planted in his carcass seemed like a fun way to do it.

I also skipped a large part of that final confrontation because I don't really want to completely rehash a manga storyline. I like the character of Konatsu and I needed to move up his introduction in order to work him into my future plots... now I've managed that. The missing part of the fight would mostly follow what happens in the manga (volume 33), albeit with Ryoga there instead of Ranma, Nabiki instead of Akane, and a few others along for extra support... and also it was fun to have a big fight occur while Ranma and Akane were home studying, even if it mostly happens off-camera so to speak.

I've also been waiting a _very_ long time to be able to publish the school club formation scene. I wrote that a long, _long_ time ago, back when the idea for Nodoka forcing them to join a club first occurred to me. It hasn't changed much since I first wrote it.

Finally, the idea for a perm for Ranma is totally stolen from_ Strained Harmony_ by Sunshine Temple and Trimatter. ^_^ I admit it. It may not stay that way forever, but I couldn't resist. At some point I want to draw pictures of all of the extra characters for this series to help people (and myself) keep track of them better... and I'll probably try to draw my altered versions of Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki as well. We'll see.

Next up: Saturday! Big fight! This time Ranma won't be home studying, and nothing will happen "off camera". ^_^ In fact this is one of my longest chapters coming up....


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

It was Saturday morning. Ranma sat in front of a vanity, with Akane standing right behind her. Already Ranma was learning to hate her new hair.

"No, comb from the _ends _first," Akane scolded. "If you start from the top you're going to end up with a huge rat's nest before you know it! _Gently_. Don't be in such a hurry! Sheesh, didn't you listen to _anything _they said at the salon?"

Ranma stared into the mirror, frowning. "Ancestors, what a pain. Why did I do this to myself again?"

"You wanted to look pretty?" Akane laughed. "Well, you _do_, you know. It only take a _little _extra work. No, not like that! Comb slower!"

"Well, I'm glad you got your hair permed too," Ranma said.

"Really? You like it?"

"It looks nice. But I mean you can help me with mine. I don't know how to deal with all of this girly stuff."

Akane frowned. "Ranma, give me a break! The hair stylist told you exactly what to do!"

"Yeah, but...." Ranma began.

"But what?" Akane retorted. "_I've _never had a perm, either. It's not like _I've _got any special insight into how to deal with one."

"But you're a girl," Ranma said. "A _real _one."

Akane rolled her eyes. "We are _not _having that conversation again, got it? I'm a girl. _You're _a girl. Anything I can do, _you _can do. End of story."

"I _wish _it were that simple," Ranma said. "It's only been one week. I'm still learning. I really don't even know how to _walk _or _move _properly, yet."

"I _said_ we're not having this conversation again."

Ranma sighed. "You gotta bear with me, Akane. I'm still studying Girl 101: how to wear a skirt and not look stupid. Dealing with a perm is like a college course in Advanced Feminine Hair Care, or something."

"Ranma, all we're doing here is _combing your hair_. Trust me, that is _not _a difficult thing to master. You wait three days until we can wash our hair again, and _then _talk to me about how difficult this all is...."

Ranma's hair bounced as they walked to school. It hung in her eyes. It brushed against her cheeks. It draped about her shoulders. It annoyed her.

Ranma glanced at Akane. Short hair would have been better, she realized now. She should have had it cut first. Ah, well.

Akane looked cute in curly hair. _Especially _cute, Ranma thought, because, although she would rarely say it, Akane was _always _cute..

The problem was that now Ranma looked _especially _cute, too.

XXX

Miyuki Gojo stood in front of the school gates. Ranma and Akane stopped in front of her. Miyuki looked right past them.

Akane coughed.

"Hey, Miyuki," Ranma said.

Miyuki glanced their way For a moment there wasn't any recognition, then her eyes grew wide. She jumped back.

"What did you _do_?" she exclaimed. "Oh my god! Ohmygod! Ohmygod!"

"Is something wrong?" Ranma asked.

"Oh my god! You look _fantastic_, Ranma! So _cute!_ Curls! Wow, you _too_, Akane! But why didn't you warn me? Sachiko will have to redraw the first five pages!"

"The first five pages of what?" Ranma asked.

"Never mind!" Miyuki laughed nervously. "That's not important! What's important is – _Wow_! You look _amazing_! Both of you!"

Variations of this scene were reenacted as they ran into their other friends. Kaida, Akela and Rin were equally enthusiastic about how good they looked. Ukyo and Shampoo both seemed to be shocked and somewhat disturbed at Ranma's new look in particular. Even Kohana was surprised, although in her case she simply stared at them for a very long time, and then said, "You two look good today."

Nabiki was the only person who didn't react, since she'd seen them the night before. On the other hand, her appearance, with wavy hair down to her waist, caused more shock and amazement.

Once their friends were done looking them over they headed into school. Miyuki handed Ranma a bento lunch.

"It's Saturday, Miyuki," Akane said. "You don't need to bring a lunch on Saturday. We're only here for half the day."

"Hey, I ain't complaining," Ranma said.

"Yes, but don't forget," Miyuki said, "Ranma won't be going home right after school."

"That's true. I've a fight with Kodachi at Noon," Ranma said. "An actual _authorized _fight, even. Then I have another fight at 2 PM with that katana girl."

"Shizuko Satori," Miyuki said.

"That's right."

"Ranma may forget names, but she never forgets a fight," Akane added.

As they walked through the halls, they got comments from the students they passed. Perhaps it was a their new hair, perhaps it was the degree to which Kodachi Kuno was truly disliked at St. Hebereke, or perhaps it was just a desire to place a bet on the clear favorite in the upcoming fight, but girls that had been pointedly ignoring Ranma and Akane all week suddenly weren't. They were talking to them, acting friendly even. In a perverse way it was creeping both Ranma and Akane out – somehow they'd seemingly transformed overnight from social pariahs to the most popular girls in the school. They were both waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Wow, Ranma, that looks good!"

"Akane, you look so _cute_."

"Curls. I _love _it!"

"Where did you get that done?"

"Are you going to beat Kodachi today, Ranma?"

"Good luck in the fight!"

"My money's on you, Ranma!"

"Give Kodachi hell!"

"I'm betting on you to crush Miss Satori!"

Ranma was happy when class finally started. Soon she was bored. She usually found it harder to focus on class on a Saturday, and with a fight coming up later in the day, it was just about impossible. Ranma watched the clock. The morning seemed to drag. And then, finally, mercifully, the last bell rang. Their first week of class at St. Hebereke was over.

XXX

Ranma changed out of her school uniform in the bathroom, donning instead her favorite black Chinese silk pants and red Chinese shirt. She headed down to the soccer field, where a crowd was already gathering. Ukyo was setting up a food booth, and Miyuki was there with her.

"There you are!" Miyuki exclaimed. "Where have you been? We hardly have any time left!"

"I was just changing clothes," Ranma said.

"What? Why, when I have the _perfect _outfit for you to wear?"

Ranma frowned. "What do you mean? This isn't a costume contest, Miyuki. It's a fight."

"You don't think I know that?" Miyuki replied. "Ranma, do you remember the phrase, 'Special occasions require special clothing!'?"

"Tomoyo says that," Ranma replied. "Miyuki, I hate to say this to you, but you are _not _Tomoyo Daidouji, and I am _certainly _not Sakura Kinomoto."

"But the same rules apply, Ranma!" Miyuki exclaimed. "This is your first big fight since you've met me. Well, the first _planned _fight, at least. You need to look your best! That's what I'm _here _for!"

"Miyuki," Ranma said, "I don't need a costume to fight Kodachi, and that's final."

"But... but I worked so _hard _it! I made it just for you!"

"You should have asked me first." Ranma frowned at Miyuki's distraught look. "Don't start crying, Miyuki. I'm not going to change my mind."

"Ranma," Miyuki said, "you and Akane joined our new school club, right? The Anything Goes Magical Loligoth Cupcake Girl Appreciation Society?"

"Uh... yeah, I guess. Not that we had a choice...."

"Well, this costume is a _vital _part of the club activities," Miyuki stated.

This brought Ranma up short. "It is?"

Miyuki nodded. "I"m the President of Club Costumes. The club exists to foster all of the things we're interested in. For you and Akane, that's martial arts. You can use the club to practice with each other or to teach some of the others, like Akela. For me, the thing I'm _most _interested in is designing costume for _you_. If you _don't _let me do that, then the club might as well not exist at all!"

Ranma said, "Look, Miyuki, Kodachi's not the toughest opponent I've ever faced, but I still gotta be serious about this. I can't go around fighting in some fancy Gothic Lolita dress. That's just never gonna work."

"But it's not like that at _all_," Miyuki replied. "You haven't even _seen _the costume I've designed!"

"I don't really gotta," Ranma said, "because I ain't gonna wear it, no matter what."

Miyuki sighed. She stared down at the ground. "Fine," she said. "If that's really how you feel. I'll tell your mother to dissolve the club...."

Ranma was suddenly nervous. "You don't gotta go _that _far, Miyuki."

"No, it was supposed to be a team effort. But if _I _can't participate then it's just never going to work." She glanced up. "Don't worry," she said. "I'm sure your mother will find a better club for you to join...."

XXX

Ranma changed inside a tent erected near the soccer field specifically for this purpose. The costume, it turned out, wasn't bad at all. Ranma stared in the mirror, eying herself critically. Actually, it was pretty cool looking....

Instead of the chunky-heeled boots and elaborate ruffled underskirts that she'd expected, Miyuki had designed something Ranma could actually fight in. There was no skirt. Instead, there were loose silk pantaloons – more billowy than Ranma normally wore, and decorated with lavender roses stitched with silver thread, but still quite similar to her favorite silk pants. No skirt was good, in Ranma's book, especially in a fight.

The top was a loose sleeveless lavender robe with silver trim and dark purple embroidered border. A dark purple sash tied about the waist. The tunic fanned out below the waist to give the illusion of a skirt, but not enough to be any hindrance. The under tunic was a darker lavender with purple roses and billowing sleeves with silver border trim. There were decorative bows and the sash was tied into a large bow at the back, and there was a matching purple hair bow and lavender slippers trimmed with silver..

It was elaborate, but the kind of elaborate that a Chinese goddess of martial arts might wear. Ranma could _move _in this. She could fight in this. In point of fact, she'd seen Shampoo fight in somewhat similar outfits.

Ranma posed before the mirror. She smirked.

"Damn," she said. "I look pretty hot...."

XXX

Outside, Mukyi conferred with her conspirators Tomari and Sachiko.

"You actually got her to wear it?" Tomari asked.

"Yes, of course," Miyuki replied. "Did you have any doubt?"

"Quite a lot, to be honest," said Tomari.

"I do admit it took everything I had," said Miyuki. "I nearly had to resort to tears. I threatened to dissolve the club and let her mother pick a different one for her."

"Ooh, good one."

"Yeah, that worked." Miyuki laughed. "Just remember, underneath all of that lace and silk beats the heart of a boy."

XXX

Ranma stepped out of the dressing tent and blinked.

The crowd had grown in volume considerably. It surrounded the soccer field. It seemed like there were more people here than actually went to St. Hebereke. "Oh, great," Ranma muttered. "Why does this smell like the work of Miyuki Gojo?" She sighed. "Nabiki's probably behind this as well. That's _all _I need, those two working together...."

Behind her came a familiar voice. "Ranma?"

She spun about. "Hiroshi? Daisuke?" she exclaimed. "What are _you _guys doing here?"

Two boys, her closest friends from Furinkhan High, stared at her, speechless. Ranma shifted uncomfortably, aware that two guys were staring with undisguised lust. Not that they hadn't done that _before_, but back at Furinkhan they'd been a great deal more subtle about it.

"What?" Ranma demanded. She placed her hands on her hips, unaware that her feminine posturing wasn't helping the situation any.

"My god, Ranma," Daisuke breathed. "Is that really _you_?"

"Of _course _it is," Ranma snapped. "I'm living as a girl right now, remember?"

"I know you've always had a great body," Hiroshi added, "but since when did you become so drop-dead gorgeous?"

"Ranma," Daisuke said, "if I said you had a sexy body, would you hold it against me?"

Ranma slapped Daisuke in the face. He blinked in surprise.

"I guess I deserve that," he said. "But you know, Ranma, even _slapping _someone is a really girly thing to do... and quite cute, I might add....."

Ranma pounded his friend into the ground. Daisuke lay in the grass and moaned.

"Okay, that's more like it," Daisuke groaned. "And I _definitely _deserved that one."

"But Ranma," Hiroshi said, "that outfit is _fantastic."_

Ranma smiled. "Thanks," she said. "I like it too. My friend Miyuki made it."

"And glasses? Is that some sort of disguise?" asked Hiroshi.

Ranma shook her head. "I had my eyes examined this week. Turns out I needed glasses. I've been wearing them since yesterday."

"And the hair?"

Ranma reached up to touch the mass of curls falling against her neck and shoulders. "These were part of a challenge between me and Nabiki," she said. "Who can have the prettiest hair. I won, of course."

"I should say so," Hiroshi said. "Forgive me for saying this, Ranma, but that hair is _really _sexy looking...." When Ranma brandished her fist. Hiroshi held up his hands. "Hey, hey. I'm just telling the truth! The combination of that hair, that outfit, the glasses, and... well, frankly, even the way you move is more feminine – it's just a lot to process all at once. I'm only saying this as a friend, Ranma, strictly as information only, but... visually speaking, you're a knockout."

Ranma smiled. "You think so? I thought so too."

"Anyway, we heard you were going to fight Kodachi," Daisuke said, getting up from the ground. "So of _course _we came."

"Yeah," Hiroshi added. "After all, it's not as if there's anything interesting happening back in Nerima...."

"Boy, you said it, 'Roshi. Nerima is getting positively _boring_."

"Well, at least it's just you two guys," Ranma began.

"What are you talking about?" Daisuke said. "Practically three-quarters of the Furinkan student body is here today. Didn't you know that? Those posters were everywhere!"

"What?" Ranma said. She looked at the crowd again. "I _thought _there were a lot of people. Damn that Miyuki! But... how did everyone get here so fast? Didn't you guys have school today?"

Hiroshi snorted. "Are you kidding? Principal Kuno was so excited about you and Kodachi fighting that he gave the entire school the day off!"

Ranma groaned.

"Yeah, Ranma," Daisuke added. " We really owe you, man. We got to skip school just to see you. We're in your debt."

XXX

"Uchan! You got some good eats fo da Big Kahuna, yeah?"

Ukyo looked up from her grill. The Furinkhan Principal was standing before her, a deeply tanned man with a goofy grin and a small palm tree atop his head. He wore his usual Hawaiian shirt, loose white Bermuda shorts, sunglasses and flip flops.

"Principal Kuno?" Ukyo exclaimed. "What are _you _doing here?"

"Da Big Kahuna wen come fo watch my lil 'Dachi fight wi dat Ranma Saotome!" the man replied. "My lil Dachi, she gonna whomp dat wahine but good, fo shua."

"Father?"

A shocked Kodachi Kuno, dressed in her green leotard, stood behind the Principal. "My 'Dachi!" the Principal exclaimed, spinning about. He embraced her. Her body went rigid.

"What are you _doing _here?" Kodachi exclaimed, pushing herself away. "You _promised _to never come here!"

"My lil Keike goan fight dat Ranma Saotome, I wen come fo watch, yeah? How da Big Kahuna goan stay away from dat?"

Several girls had gathered behind Kodachi. "Oh, look," one said. "Could that possibly be Kodachi's father?"

"Then the rumors are true!"

"Look at how he's dressed! Can you imagine?"

"What's that growing out of his head?"

"He's an even bigger freak than the new girls said."

"No!" Kodachi exclaimed, spinning about. "Lies! They're all lies! I don't know this man! He's not my father! I've never seen him before in my entire life!"

"Greetings and salutations, Father," Tatewaki Kuno said. "And to you as well, Sister. How nice it is to see you both this good evening. I wish you well in your upcoming battle, Sister, but I will of course be rooting for my pig-tailed goddess."

"'Tachi!" the Principal exclaimed.

"Aha!" one of the other girls exclaimed.

"So that _is _your father!" another added.

"No!" Kodachi insisted.

"Yes, of course this is our family Patriarch," Tatewaki Kuno replied. "He is, I admit, strangely fascinated with all things Hawaiian, and is also clearly more than a little bit deranged, but how can I deny my own flesh and blood? Luckily whatever affliction addles his brain has given a wide berth to my sister and I...."

"You fool!" Kodachi spat. "I say I don't know the man! My father is an honorable person who would _never _force us to eat pineapple for every single meal!" Kodachis burst of laughter was edgier and more shrill than usual. She bounded away, scattering black rose petals as she went.

The elder Kuno sighed. "My poor lil 'Dachi," he said. "Her love fo her fadda so strong, she no wan let people see."

The younger Kuno stroked his chin. "I had almost forgotten how deluded she is," he replied. "Perhaps Father's affliction did not give my poor Sister so wide a berth after all...."

XXX

Miyuki found Ranma still talking with her two Furinkhan friends.

"There you are, Ranma!" she said. "Are you almost ready?"

Ranma shrugged. "Anytime Kodachi is, sure."

"Good," Miyuki said. "I'll look for her. Wait another five or ten minutes, then you can start. That way people will have time to eat and get restless. Then we hit them with the big show! Oh, this is going to be _soooo _awesome! You're going to knock their socks off, Ranma, and I'm going to film everything!"

"Miyuki," Ranma said, "these are my friends from Furninkhan, Daisuke and Hiroshi. Dai, 'Roshi, this is Miyuki Gojo, t he one who designed this outfit."

"Ranma's friends from Furinkhan?" Miyuki repeated. "Where were _you _two when I was trying to get information on Ranma?"

"I'm sorry?" Daisuke said.

Miyuki waved her hand. "Never mind that," she said. "It's ancient history now. Nice to meet you." She looked them up and down. "You two aren't martial artists, are you?"

"Nope," said Daisuke.

"Not a bit," Hiroshi chimed in.

"So you're background characters then," she said, as if something important had been decided.

Hiroshi scratched the back of his head. "Background characters? That's a little harsh."

"Yeah,' said Daisuke. "We might be main characters in a non-adventure story. Maybe even leads in a shoujo romance. Did you ever think of that?."

"Why would I?" Miyuki replied. "I have no interest in stories like that. Now, Ranma, I have to go see how Ukyo is doing. You're going to be okay, right? Just remember: wait five minutes or so, then move down to the field and get ready to kick Kodachi's ass."

As the young girl rushed off, Daisuke said, "I think I'm offended."

"Me too, Dai, me too," Hiroshi replied. "And the worst part? I think she's right."

"Don't feel bad," Ranma muttered. "Being the main character ain't no picnic, believe me."

"So Ranma, who's this other girl you're fighting?" Daisuke asked.

"Ah...some katana-wielding psycho girl," Ranma said. "I keep forgetting her name."

"Really?" Hiroshi grinned. "It's not just Kuno in a dress, is it?"

Ranma snorted. "You heard about that, did you?"

"Yeah, the whole school did," said Daisuke. "Somebody gave Principal Kuno pictures and he copied them and spread them all over the school. Kuno tried to deny it, then tried to explain it away, then he just challenged anyone who laughed about it within earshot to a duel. _That _got people to shut up."

Ranma laughed. "Well, I guess with me and Akane gone, and Ukyo too, that crazy Principal don't got anyone to target but his own son. Even Shampoo is here now."

"No, he still targets the whole school," said Daisuke mournfully. "It's just that Kuno's the only one who can stand up to him. If not for Kuno we'd all have buzz cuts by now."

"That's just sad," Ranma replied. "I wish I could help you guys, but...."

"Yeah, we know," said Daisuke. "You have to get in touch with your feminine side."

Moments later he was again lying on the ground moaning.

'Okay, I deserved _that _one, too," he said. "But can you please stop hitting me?"

"So, Ranma," Hiroshi said. "Tell us – what's life like at a girl's school?"

Ranma shrugged. "Pretty much like any school, I guess."

"Except that everyone is a girl, right? _Everyone_." Hiroshi seemed to think this was very significant.

"Yeah. What's your point?" Ranma asked.

"All those girls...." said Hiroshi.

"In those cute St. Hebereke uniforms..." Daisuke chimed in.

"You think those are cute?" Ranma asked. "But the skirt's long...I dunno...."

"It looks cute on you, Ranma," Daisuke said. "Trust me."

"Yeah, definitely," added Hiroshi.

"Oh? Thanks," Ranma said, not even noticing that she was taking being called cute as a compliment – or that her friends somehow knew what she looked like in her school uniform. "Anyway I've been so busy I really haven't had time to even think it through that much."

"So, do you change in the girl's locker for P.E.?" Hiroshi asked.

"What? Of course. I'm a girl, right? Anyway it's a girl's school so there's only one locker."

"You lucky dog!" Daisuke exclaimed.

"We envy you, Ranma," said Hiroshi. "Really, we do."

"Do you get to seek Akane naked then?" Daisuke asked.

"What about Ukyo? Or Shampoo?"

"Are there any other cute girls that you've gotten to see naked?"

Ranma grimaced. "You guys are disgusting."

"Or even in their underwear?" Daisuke asked. "That would be just as good."

"Come on, you can tell us," Hiroshi added.

Ranma sighed. "Okay, I'm _so_ out of here," she said. "Conversation over."

XXX

"Akane! Is that _you_?"

Akane's eyes lit up at the sight of two very familiar faces in the crowd. "Yuka! Sayuri! What are _you _guys doing here?"

Yuka grinned. "What do you think? We're here to see the big spectacle. That idiot Principal of ours cut classes short so we could come. Besides, with you, Ranma, Ukyo and the Amazons gone from the neighborhood, it's been too quiet."

"You can say _that _again," Sayuri added. "Aside from the battles between Kuno and his father, school's been boring. I never thought I'd say this, but I _miss_ Ranma. I always thought some peace and quiet would be nice, but I miss all the excitement."

"But enough of that," Yuka said. "_What_ did you do to your hair? It looks _gorgeous_."

Akane's face lit up. "You guys really like it? I got it permed just last night."

"_Like _it? It's fantastic!" Sayuri said.

"I'm jealous," Yuka added. "I'd _never _have the guts to get a perm like that."

"Me either," Sayuri added. "You're really daring, Akane."

"Thanks, but it really wasn't that scary," Akane replied. "After what Nabiki and Ranma did... oh, you two haven't seen Ranma yet, have you? You might not even recognize her."

"Hey, Akane. Who are your friends?"

Akane turned to see Akela. The stocky girl with dark skin and curly hair smiled. Akane smiled back. "These are my two best friends from Furinkhan, Yuka and Sayuri," Akane said. "Guys, this is my new friend Akela Leilani, from Hawaii. I have to warn you, she's... ah...." Akane's face flushed red. She stared down at the ground. "Akela's... a lesbian."

Sayuri and Yuka exchanged glances. "So... you don't like boys?" Sayuri asked.

"You have something in common with Akane, then," Yuka added.

Akane's face went from pink to bright crimson. "Yuka! I am _not _a.. a girl like that, as you well know!"

Yuka laughed. "Sorry, Akane. But it _is _true that you've never liked boys...."

"Akane," Akela said in a low voice. "You really don't have to tell people about me if it embarrasses you."

"No, that's okay," Akane replied. "If we're going to be friends then I need to get used to saying it. Plus, I want to warn them in case Kaida comes around. At least _you _don't flaunt it, Akela. You're pretty cool and down-to-earth. _Kaida _makes me nervous. Every conversation becomes a series of suggestive statements, propositions, and double-entendres."

Akela laughed. "That's Kaida, all right."

"Akela is a martial artist, too," Akane said. "She likes sports. She plays rugby. At first I was afraid to be friends because of what she is... but we've actually got a lot in common, so it's really not a big deal."

"Oh beauteous fair Akane! What is this? What has thou done to thine pure black locks?"

"Kuno..." Yuka groaned. The leader of the Furinkhan kendo club stood before them. He was staring at Akane in shock.

"Uh... I got a perm?" Akane replied.

"How can this be?" Kuno exclaimed. "How is it that she who was the pinnacle of beauty has become yet even more beautiful? Is such a thing possible? For thy raven-haired curls frame thy face so as to put shame to Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of beauty herself...."

"It's just a haircut, Kuno," Akane said in a flat voice. "Akela, this is Kodachi's brother Tatewaki Kuno. He's an even bigger idiot than she is."

"So I gathered," Akela replied with a grin.

"Truly, fair Akane, I am struck dumb by your beauty, surpassing even the heavens...."

"And yet you somehow keep talking," Akane noted.

"But whither the pig-tailed girl?"

Akane grinned. "You're looking for Ranma?" She pointed. "She's over there."

Kuno shaded his eyes. "Nay. Though the girl with the flowing curls and glasses has hair the color of my pig-tailed beauty, even I can see that they are not the same. Surely she is around here somewhere...."

"Good luck looking for her then," Akane said. "Don't let us detain you."

As Kuno wandered off, Sayuri said, "Good grief! That really _is _Ranma, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Akane said. "That must be one of Miyuki's outfits she's wearing. It looks good."

"But... the _hair_," Sayuri continued.

Akane nodded. "I _said _that you would hardly recognize her. The glasses are new too."

"Oh?" Yuka said. "Those aren't just a prop?"

"Nope."

"If you guys don't mind," said Sayuri, "I think I'll go talk to Ranma a bit...."

XXX

Hiroshi and Daisuke were still watching Ranma from a distance when Nabiki came across them. She watched them for a few moments, then smiled.

"You boys_ do _realize that you're simultaneously lusting after Ranma's girl side while envying him for being a boy at a girl's school," she said, sliding up beside the two.

"Hello, Nabiki," Daisuke said. He turned around, and his eyes went wide. "Wow, Nabs," he said. "When did your hair get so long?"

"Yesterday," Nabiki replied. She crossed her arms. Both boys stared at her for a long moment.

"It looks really good," Daisuke said.

"Yeah," Hiroshi added. Nabiki continued to stare at him, expectantly. "Uh.. I'm sorry, what was the question again?"

"Lusting after girl Ranma while envying boy Ranma?" Nabiki said.

"Yes, we're aware. It's nothing new, you know."

"Yeah. So?" Daisuke added.

"Oh, nothing, just an observation," Nabiki said with a light laugh. "So then, you want to buy some prints? I'm out of the naked photo business these days, but I _do _have more pics of Ranma and Akane in the St. Hebereke uniforms and their _new _hairstyles... also some of them in their P.E. Uniforms, and pics of Ukyo and Shampoo too."

The eyes of the two boys lit up. "How much?" Daisuke asked.

"Five hundred yen per print?" Nabiki suggested.

"I'll pay double for a good picture of Ranma in that battle outfit," Hiroshi said.

Nabiki grinned. "You boys have a deal. In fact, I _do _believe Miyuki's going to tape the entire fight...."

"Sign us up!" Daisuke said enthusiastically.

Hiroshi glanced at Nabiki's "Uchan's" apron. "So, Nabiki," he said. "You're a waitress for Ukyo now?"

"I'm the hostess for her new restaurant," Nabiki replied coolly. "We can seat up to 65 people. I run the entire front floor. Maybe you should come visit?"

XXX

"Hey, are you two hungry?" Akela asked. "They got ramen and okonomiyaki. I'll buy."

"Okonomiyaki, then," Akane said. "Uchan's my rival but at least she's friendly. I can never trust Shampoo."

"Sounds good to me," Yuka added.

"What, you think she'd poison your ramen?" Akela asked.

"Oh, probably not," Akane said, "but she's done things like that before."

Yuka nodded in agreement. "Once she even erased Akane's memory of Ranma," she said. Akela blinked in surprise.

In front of Ukyo's stand they came across a large tanned man in a Hawaiian shirt, with a palm tree on his head. Akela gasped. "Big Kahuna Sensei!" she exclaimed, then ran forward and wrapped the Furinkhan Principal in a bear hug.

"Lil Keiki!" the Principal exclaimed. "Akela Leilani! What you be doin' here?"

Akela grinned. "I _thought _it was you! You surprised me. And I live here now. The question is, what are _you _doing here? You _love _Hawaii."

The Principal looked sorrowful for a moment. "Job be here. Family be here. One day, Big Kahuna goan decide it be time fo come back."

Akela grinned. "Well, it's _fantastic _to see you again! Akane, Yuka, I want to introduce you to my friend from Hawaii. He taught me martial arts, and I taught him to hula dance."

"We've met," Akane said coldly. Yuka sighed.

"Aloha, Keikis," the Principal said.

Akela blinked in surprise. "Really? You know each other?"

"Akela," Akane said, "this is the Principal of Furinkan High School."

_"My _Principal," Yuka added.

Akela looked from Akane to the Principal. "No kidding? Wow, I had no idea!"

"He's also Kodachi's father," Akane said. "Tatewaki Kuno's father too, of course."

Akela looked even more shocked. "Kodachi's father?" she squeaked. "That... that can't be...."

Principal Kuno wrapped her up in another fierce hug. "Akela, Keiki! You be goin school wit my lil 'Dachi? You make Big Kahuna very, very happy!"

XXX

Uchan's was busy. They had two cooks working two grills, a third person running the cash register, and two waitresses working outside the booth. There was a dining area with several portable tables and chairs. Miyuki didn't recall purchasing all of that, but the restaurant had a working budget after all, and both Ukyo and Nabiki knew what they were doing. It seemed like a good idea too – the crowd waiting for okonomiyaki was large.

Across from Uchan's was another food booth. This was The Cat Café. Miyuki saw a wrinkled old woman and a boy with long hair and glasses, and Shampoo taking orders. That would be the Amazon group, then, Miyuki thought. She'd heard that they ran a ramen café, but she'd only met Shampoo before now.

"Wecome to Uchan's. How may I help you?"

The voice was a near-flat monotone, wooden and without emotion. A robot would have had more personality.

"Tomari?" Miyuki exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, hello Miyuki," Tomari said. "I'm running the cash register for Ukyo. How may I help you?"

"You're _working_?" Miyuki was flabbergasted – everyone knew that Tomari was from the richest family in the entire school. "In the name of the Silver Millenium, _why_?"

Tomari shrugged. "There are the better part of two or more schools present, and nobody has eaten lunch yet. Ukyo and Goro are busy cooking. She asked, and I thought, why not? It might be fun to see how poor people work. Besides, I'm not sure that Ukyo completely trusts Nabiki or Konatsu to handle money."

"Hmm," Miyuki replied. "Yes, that makes sense. One doesn't know what money is worth, and the other is much _too _aware of what it's worth." She glanced back at Tomari. "I guess I'm hungry, so I'll have an okonomiyaki."

"May I recommend the shrimp special?" Tomari asked. Her voice was getting on Miyuki's nerves. Normally she was used to the way Tomari and her sister spoke, but she didn't expect such a detached, emotionless voice from someone trying to sell her something.

Her eyes narrowed. She glanced up at the menu, scrawled on a piece of paper taped to the side of the booth. "Do you have anything _besides _shrimp?" she asked.

"No," Tomari replied. "Unless you want to order one _without _shrimp. But special orders take extra time."

"It takes _longer _to make one without shrimp?" Tomari started to reply and Miyuki cut her off with a wave of her hands. "No, don't try to explain it to me. Shrimp is fine. Although I don't understand why we don't have more choices."

"I believe Miss Kuonji is sticking to the basics while Goro is still in training. Also, given that this is a temporary remote location for the restaurant, we of course have a limited menu. Will that be just one shrimp okonomiyaki, then?"

Miyuki nodded.

"Very good, Miss. That will be 1,000 yen."

"What?" Miyuki exclaimed. "I am co-owner of the restaurant! Why should _I _have to pay?"

"I have not been authorized by Miss Kuonji to give free food away, even to her business partner," Tomari replied. "Besides, you can afford it."

"_You _can afford it even more easily!" Miyuki countered. "You're my friend – why don't you treat me?" Tomari continued to stare at her, and she said, "Oh, very well. Hang on a second." She dug through her purse and pulled out a 10,000 yen note. She slapped it down on the counter. "There," she said. "Keep the change."

"How very kind of you, Miss," Tomari replied. "Your order number is 137...."

XXX

Sayuri found Ranma at the edge of the crowd, waiting for the right moment to walk to the center of the field. "Wow, Ranma," she said. "That outfit is so... so amazing!"

"Hi, Sayuri," Ranma said. "Uh... thanks. I think."

"You don't like it?"

"Nah, it's not that," Ranma said. "It looks really, _really _good. Miyuki made it for me, and she did a good job. _Too _good, almost. Everyone's staring at me."

"Well, of _course _they are," Sayuri said. "Who wouldn't, with you looking like that? I'm trying not to stare myself!"

"Sure, but 'Roshi and Dai were really creeping me out, the way they stared at me," Ranma said.

Sayuri giggled. "Boys!" she exclaimed. "What do you expect? But it's not just the outfit, Ranma; that hair is _amazing._ That's a perm like Akane's, right? When did you do that?"

"Just last night," Ranma said.

"Seriously, Ranma, your hair looks really, really good. I only wish _I _was daring enough to do something like that."

"That's funny," Ranma said, "because I was kinda wishing I _wasn't _daring enough to have done it. It's going to be a pain to deal with, and the extra attention...." Ranma made a face, causing Sayuri to laugh again.

Sayuri grabbed Ranma's hands in hers. "Ranma, I know this is a bit forward of me," she said. "But are you busy tomorrow?"

"Ah... not that I know of."

"Then would like to go on a date with me?" Sayuri asked.

"A d-d-date?" Ranma stammered.

"Not a _date _date," Sayuri laughed. "After all, you're a girl now, right? It would be just us two girls. You know, without Akane or Yuka about?"

Ranma glanced down at her hands clasped in the other girl's. Akane's friends had never shown much interest in her... in fact, they'd shown complete disdain for Ranma when they'd registered any emotion at all. And now, all of a sudden....

"Why?" Ranma asked. "What... what did you have in mind?"

Sayuri gulped. "Well... I thought that we... that we could... you know... _dress up_...."

"Dress up?" Ranma asked, now thoroughly confused.

"Not actual _cosplay_, you know," Sayuri added quickly. "Nothing like that. Just... well, I've always like the Gothic Lolita look, and none of my friends have ever really understood. Not until I realized that _you _were into it, too...."

"Oh... yeah," Ranma said, remembering the outfit she'd bought a week ago. Funny, she could barely remember _why _she'd thought it was a good idea to wear such a frilly, girly dress. She'd somehow thought it would help her accept dressing as a girl, but it turned out dressing as a girl wasn't hard at all.

"I thought it would be fun to dress up and head for Harukuja," Sayuri said. "You know, like other Loli Goths do. I mean, I would never _dream _of doing it all on my own, but if you were there with me...."

Ranma could see a pleading look in Sayuri's eyes. Did it really mean that much to her?

"Sure, okay," Ranma said. "I got nothin' better to do...."

XXX

Ukyo slapped more batter down on the grill, then glanced up at the next customer. "Oh, hello Miyuki."

Miyuki grinned. "Hi there, Ukyo. I meant to get over here earlier, but oh my gosh, I was swamped getting Ranma ready for the fight. How are things going?"

"We're doing fine," Ukyo replied. "Goro here is learning fast." The pudgy chef beside her grinned happily.

"I thought he was already an accomplished okonomiyaki chef?" Miyuki asked.

"Yes, Miss," Goro replied, "but I'm trying to match Miss Ukyo's exacting standards. Also I'm still learning how to toss the finished okonomiyaki."

"Toss them?"

Just then Goro sent an oknomiyaki sailing over the crowd like a frisbee. "Order up!" he yelled out. Kontasu leaped high and caught the flying food, setting it down in front of a customer.

"Wow! Martial arts food service!" enthused Mikyuki. "That's so cool! We should market that!"

"Nabiki doesn't quite have the skill to catch those, though," Ukyo said. "I think I'll want to hire one or two more waitresses with martial arts skills. But so far, so good!"

"Where _is _Nabiki?" Miyuki asked.

"Probably taking bets again," Ukyo said. She frowned. "She's been a bit distracted today, considering I'm paying her to work for me. Ah, well, I think Konatsu has things covered. Your friend Tomari's been very helpful as well."

"Just so long as you don't depend on her to generate sales, sure," Miyuki replied in a low voice. "Oh my gosh!" Miyuki grabbed her video camera. "Quick, is my order done yet? It looks like they're about to start!"

XXX

Kodachi bounced onto the field, laughing maniacally and trailing black rose petals, but all attention turned to Ranma as she strode out to stand opposite the gymnast. The wind tugged at her fire-y curls and billowed her distinctive robe. Instantly Kodachi knew that she had been upstaged.

"What is the meaning of this strange costume you wear? Are you trying to mock me?" Kodachi exclaimed.

Ranma shrugged. "What's strange about it? You're wearing a leotard."

"Silence, foul wretch! For the love of my darling Ranma that you have so cruelly taken from me, I shall defeat you!"

Ranma frowned. "Is that what this fight is about?"

"This battle is my revenge! For deigning to follow me to my own school! For claiming that you had defeated me, when we all know that you cheated! For spreading lies and vicious slander about my father...."

"You goan tell them, Keike!" a voice from the crowd called out.

"But most of all, for stealing away the love of my life, the brave and honorable and noble Ranma Saotome. For all of these sins, vile harlot, you must pay!"

"Right," Ranma replied. "Another entirely pointless battle, then. Why did I even ask?" She crouched down, assuming a defensive stance. "Well, whatever. I'm ready when you are."

"Very well," Kodachi said. "However, this time we shall play by _my _rules, so that I know you are not cheating."

Ranma sighed. "Sure. And what are your rules?"

"Only this: there _are _no rules," Kodachi said with a laugh.

Ranma smiled. "No rules? Anything goes?"

"_Anything_," Kodachi replied. "Assuming you can handle that."

"Oh, I can handle that," Ranma said with a smirk. "No problem at all!"

"Good," Kodachi replied, smiling. "Then first let us shake hands, to show that this is a friendly fight...."

XXX

From the sidelines, Tatewaki Kuno was still having trouble keeping up with events. "What reason does my sister have for fighting this strange new goddess?"

"Kuno, I already told you this," Nabiki said. "That 'new goddess' is Ranma."

"Can it be?" he asked. "Yon goddess, whose hair like fire coils in ringlets as bright as the setting sun, is one and the same as my pig-tailed beauty? But no, look how she wears glasses. Surely this can not be the same girl as my love!"

Nabiki sighed. "Gods, Kuno, get over it already. Ranma got a perm and new glasses, and she's wearing a fancy battle outfit. Is it that hard to believe?"

"But then, Nabiki Tendo, are you telling me that my lovely pig-tailed girl has a pig-tail no more?"

"Your powers of observation are as good as ever, Kuno. That sums up the situation succinctly."

Kuno frowned. "Doest thou attempt to mock me, Nabiki Tendo?"

"Moi?" Nabiki said. "I _never _'attempt' to mock people."

"You have mocked me on many occasions," Kuno pointed out.

"Exactly," said Nabiki. "They weren't mere attempts. When I mock, it is with all of my heart."

"In point of fact, I suspect you are mocking me even now," Kuno continued.

Nabiki smirked. "Kuno, for an idiot you can be quite perceptive."

Ignoring the comment, Kuno said, "If you say it is so, then I will believe you. And truly, I cannot deny that she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Yea, she is more beautiful than the stars!"

"If you say so, Kuno baby," Nabiki replied. "I've never thought of stars as especially beautiful."

XXX

"Let us shake hands first, to show that this is a friendly fight," Kodachi said.

Ranma shrugged. "Sure," she said, holding out her hand..

Ranma, no!" Akane yelled out from the crowd. But it was too late. Ranma grasped Kodachi's hand. She felt a prick on her palm. "Whaa...?" she exclaimed, jerking her hand back. "You... you _poisoned _me....."

Ranma collapsed to the grass.

'Of _course_ I did," Kodachi gloated. "No rules at all, remember?" She turned to the crowd and raised her hands above her head. "I win!"

This did not sit well with the crowd, who'd come expecting a fight. There was a low rumbling of murmuring voices, and then people began to boo.

"This isn't good," Nabiki said. She was standing in the front row with Miyuki.

"You think they'll riot?" Miyuki asked, not taking her camera off Kodachi and Ranma.

"Oh, maybe," Nabiki replied. "I don't care about _that_. My problem is that I gave big odds on Kodachi. If she's the winner, I'm ruined."

"We have to do something," Miyuki said.

"I know," Nabiki replied. "I'm _thinking_...."

"No fair!" Miyuki exclaimed, leaping forward. She ran partway onto the field and stabbed a finger at Kodachi. "You _cheated_."

"Don't be silly," Kodachi replied. "What I did was within the rules."

"There _were _no rules!" Miyuki retorted.

"Exactly." Kodachi smiled.

"You haven't won yet!" Miyuki cried out. "If Ranma can't fight, then you have to face her second!"

Kodachi frowned. "Now, wait a second. No one said anything about a second...."

"Aha! It's within the rules!" Miyuki crowed triumphantly. "You _fool_! You've fallen for one of the classic blunders! The _first _is never get involved in a land war in Asia...."

Kodachi ignored the raving girl. "Very well," she said. "Bring out your second. It matters not; the love I feel for my noble Ranma Saotome will spur me on to victory!"

As Akela and Akane carried a sleeping Ranma from the field, word spread through the crowd that someone would be fighting in Ranma's place. The crowd appeared mollified for the moment.

Ranma was laid in the changing tent. Nabiki and Miyuki met them there, followed by Akane, Ukyo, Shampoo, and several others.

"We need a second," Miyuki said. "Fast."

"That's me," Akane replied.

Akela nodded. "Akane's good. She can take Kodachi."

"Of _course,_" Yuka added. "Akane's the obvious choice."

"Not so fast," Ukyo interjected. "Sorry, Akane, but you don't stand a chance against Kodachi."

"Oh? And I suppose _you _do?"

"Of course," Ukyo said. "_I'll _be Ranchan's second."

"No way," Akane insisted. "I've been training daily with Ranma. I'm better than you think. I'm _much _better than you remember."

"Is too too stupid argument," Shampoo said, arms folded. "Shampoo obvious choice for to fight."

"I concur," said Cologne. "Of the three girls, Shampoo has the best chance of victory."

"It's my right to defend her," Akane growled. "She was _my _second in the first battle with Kodachi, so I should be _her _second now! Besides, we... we're... we're _sisters_."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow at that. "Nevertheless, it's _my _money that's on the line, Sis," she said. "I vote for Shampoo too."

Akane exploded. "What is this, a popularity contest? What right does _she _have to do it instead of me? Just because you _think _she's a better fighter? Because you're _worried _about your precious bets?"

"It's a great deal of money, Sis," Nabiki said. Akane continued to glare at her. Nabiki sighed. "Very well then," she said. "We'll draw straws. Is that fair?"

The three girls nodded. Nabiki quickly prepared the straws and clenched them in her fist. She let Akane draw first.

"Long straw," Akane said, frowning.

Ukyo went next. She also drew a long straw.

Shampoo grinned happily as she claimed the short straw. "Aiya! Shampoo win!"

"Okay, now that's settled," Miyuki said. "Get dressed, Shampoo."

"Dressed?" the Amazon replied. "Shampoo already dressed."

"Yes," Miyuki said, "but I want you to wear the special outfit I designed for Ranma. I worked hard on it, and _someone's _going to fight in it, okay? I _insist_."

Shampoo nodded. She immediately stripped to her underwear.

"Nabiki," Akane growled, "you rigged the results. I don't know how, but you did."

"Moi? Now, would _I _do such a thing? To my own _sister_, yet?"

"We both know you would," Akane replied.

Tatewaki Kuno burst into the room. Shampoo shrieked, in a very uncharacteristic display of modestly.

"Dress _me _in the garb the red-haired beauty!" Kuno exclaimed. "_I _shall fight in my love's stead!"

"Akane?" Nabiki said, wearily. "Ukyo? Can _someone _get him out of here?"

Both girls nodded. Moments later, Kuno was sent flying high over the school yard.

XXX

Before the crowd had time to grow restless, Shampoo was on the field, facing Kodachi. Dressed in the same outfit Ranma had been wearing, she looked the part of Ranma's stand-in.

"Is no rules?" Shampoo smiled. "Is how Shampoo like to fight!"

"Shall we shake hands, then?" Kodachi volunteered. She held out her hand. Shampoo withheld hers.

"Shampoo not dumb like Air... like Ranma," she said. "Not fall for same trick."

Kodachi smiled cruelly. "Very well," she said. "Whenever you're ready."

Shampoo smirked.

Like a lavender whirlwind, Shampoo launched herself at her opponent, spinning, kicking, and lashing out with powerful, devastating blows from her bonbori. Kodachi was caught unprepared. She fell back, blocking the bonbori with her clubs, which shattered on impact.

Grim-faced, Shampoo did not let up.

Nabiki and Miyuki were back on the sideline watching the fight. Miyuki had her camera trained on the two combatants.

"Shampoo doesn't fight like Ranma," Nabiki observed.

"How do you mean?" asked Miyuki. "Wow! Did you_ see_ that kick? She's _good._"

"She's attacking at full throttle from the word go," Nabiki replied. "She wants as short a fight as possible. Ranma almost _never _attacks first, and _never _with everything he's got. He always waits to see what his opponent will do first. Shampoo's got a killer's instinct. She's going for the throat."

"Amazing. She's like a tornado," Miyuki breathed, her voice full of reverence. "Kodachi doesn't stand a chance."

"That's not necessarily true," said Nabiki. "Kodachi is a lot more resourceful than you might think. Shampoo's expending a lot of energy. If Kodachi can just survive this initial flurry, Shampoo will begin to tire. At that point, things could change in Kodachi's favor."

Miyuki watched the fight in silence for a full minute.

"I don't know," she said. "It doesn't look like Shampoo's running out of energy to me."

XXX

Kodachi was continually on the defensive. She brought out her spiked clubs. Shampoo laughed as she smashed them. The razor hoop was likewise destroyed. As fast as Kodachi could produce new tools, they were crushed or knocked to the side.

"Rain of a thousand clubs!" Kodachi yelled, pulling out one of her best attacks. Shampoo smashed through the hail of clubs, scattering them in every direction.

"Explosive clubs!" Kodachi called out. These were knocked high into the air, where they exploded in a pyrotechnic display to the oohs and ahs of the crowd.

Kodachi fell back, searching in vain for an effective counterattack. Her ribbon lashed out, catching one of the bonbori. She yanked hard, and it flew out of Shampoo's grip and across the field.

Shampoo smirked. She tossed the other bonbori aside and launched a furious bare-fisted assault. Weaponless, Shampoo was no less deadly. She rained blow after blow on Kodachi, who was very clearly outmatched.

"Black Rose Petal Storm!" Kodachi yelled, spinning her ribbon. Shampoo leaped up and out of the way. The cloud of petals drifted into the crowd, where a dozen students suddenly fell asleep.

Shampoo grinned. "Poison gas?" she asked.

Kodachi laughed. "There are no rules," she replied. "Or had you forgotten?"

"Is two can play that game," Shampoo stated. She charged forward tossing small packets of something that hit the ground and exploded in clouds of dust. Kodachi was again caught off guard. She stumbled back, but failed to completely avoid the clouds of gas. She fell to her knees.

Kodachi coughed. "That's a dirty trick!"

"You is forget," Shampoo replied, "I learn fight dirty from Grand Master."

Retrieving one of her bonbori, Shampoo raised it for a final, finishing blow. Kodachi lay on the ground, barely conscious, unable to defend herself. The bonbori came down hard. Before it reached Kodachi it came to a sudden, violent halt.

Shampoo blinked. A strange man in a Hawaiian shirt stood there. He had apparently blocked her blow with a hair trimmer.

"Hola Sista! You not be hurtin' my lil 'Dachi," the elder Kuno said, grinning like a madman. "You be facin da Big Kahuna now. You goan down fo shua."

Shampoo smiled. "Crazy Palm Tree Man think he defeat Shampoo?" She bounce backwards into a defensive stance. "Is welcome to try."

Principal Kuno launched an immediate attack, driving Shampoo back. The Principal was strong and deceptively quick, and the purple-haired Amazon was winded from her fight with Kodachi. However, while she continued to fall back, it was not with the look of an opponent on the ropes but more like someone biding their time, waiting for an opportunity to strike. Each attack was blocked seemingly with little trouble.

Nabiki and Miyuki continued to watch from the sideline.

"This changes things a bit," Nabiki said. "Principal Kuno is a dangerous opponent, but he's not a polished fighter. His greatest strength is persistence. He's like a bad yen coin that keeps coming back. He's infuriating that way."

"Can he beat Shampoo?" Miyuki asked.

"Not likely," Nabiki said. "I've never seen them fight, but the Principal has never demonstrated anything that Ranma couldn't deal with."

"I am getting the most _amazing _video footage _ever_!" Miyuki exclaimed.

Nabiki laughed. "You think so? Fights like this were an almost daily occurrence back at Furinkhan."

"Oh my stars!" Miyuki exclaimed. "What was that move? He shredded her bonbori!"

"Modified Wooden Sword Shredder: Bonbori Shredder, if I'm not mistaken," Nabiki replied. "One of his classic moves. Shampoo's learning, though. She's letting him waste energy while she studies his technique."

"I wonder, though. Does Kodachi's father count as her second?" Miyuki asked.

Nabiki shrugged. "Who knows? I suppose so. There aren't any rules, after all."

"Well if you take that 'no rules' thing literally you'll soon have a free-for-all on your hands," Miyuki muttered.

Nabiki smiled. "Wait for it," she said.

Miyuki's eyes went wide. "Wow! Did you see that? Exploding coconuts!"

XXX

Shampoo dodged another exploding coconut. She wasn't completely familiar with her opponent's techniques, but she wasn't' concerned. She could already see that his style was not overly sophisticated. Smiling, she dodged another attack with the electric shears and stepped inside his attack, landing several punches to the chest.

Principal Kuno slid ten feet back. His teeth flashed white against his dark skin. "So, you goan fight back at last, Keiki?" He danced back and forth, sticking his tongue out. "I goan shave dem pretty locks, keiki! I goan give you de bowl cut!"

Smiling thinly, Shampoo lunged forward. "Like a moth to da flame," the Principal laughed. He dodged her attack and lunged with a hair clipper counter-attack.

Shampoo spun and landed a kick directly under the Principal's chin. The tanned man sailed thirty feet across the field, where he landed in a crumpled heap.

Shampoo flashed a thin-lipped smile. "Is easy," she said. She started to turn, and was suddenly doused with water.

The elaborate battle costume fell to the grass. An angry, snarling pink kitten clawed its way from the depths of the clothing.

"Well, what do you know?" said Kodachi, slinging a bucket over her shoulder. "That foolish ninja Satsuke is good for something after all. If only he'd suggested I try this earlier, he could have saved me a lot of trouble. Oh, and thanks, by the way, for using a poison that I have partial immunity to. It makes a quick recovery _ever_ so simple..."

The kitten launched itself at Kodachi. Her ribbon whipped out, wrapping around the kitten and tying it up. Hissing and spitting, Shampoo was unable to free herself.

Kodachi held her arms up. "I win again!" she called out.

"Damn," Nabiki muttered from the sidelines. "This is bad...."

XXX

To the Furinkhan students, all of this was nothing new. However, most of the St. Hebereke students were having a hard time understanding what had just happened.

Akela Leilani frowned. "Where did Shampoo go?" she asked.

"She's right there," Akane said.

"All I see is a pink kitten."

"That's right," Akane said. "That's Shampoo."

Akela looked at Akane as if she'd gone mad. "Akela," Akane said, "do you remember that we told you that Ranma has a curse? That she's really a guy who is cursed to turn into a girl?"

"Yes, but I thought...." the half-Hawaiian girl began.

"Shampoo has a similar curse, only she turns into a cat," Akane said.

"Akane, that's ridiculous," Akela said. She stared at Akane, but the youngest Tendo looked completely serious. She glanced at Yuka, who shrugged.

"It was really shocking the first time I saw it, too," Yuka said. "You get used to it. Ranma's dad turns into a panda, Shampoo's wannabe boyfriend turns into a duck."

Akela glanced at Kohana Honda, who was watching the fight with them. "You knew about this too?" she asked.

"About Shampoo's curse? No," Kohana replied. "About Jusenkyo curses? Yes, of course. I _am_ a witch. Such curses are _quite_ real, I assure you."

XXX

"I win again!" Kodachi yelled.

"Hold there, dear Sister!" a voice called out. Tatewaki Kuno was striding across the field, bokken held before him. "I, Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, a swordsman in the prime of his youth, oft known as the Blue Thunder of Furinkhan High, am here to challenge you, my sister, in place of the heavenly fire-haired goddess whom you poisoned. I speak of the one known formerly as the pig-tailed girl."

Kuno paused dramatically, a rose clenched in his teeth.

"Well," Nabiki said, "at the very least you can say he makes a good entrance."

"Wow!" Miyuki exclaimed. "It's brother versus sister!"

"What is this, a family feud?" someone in the crowd asked. "I thought this was a fight with Ranma."

"But can he win?" Miyuki asked. She zoomed in to get a closeup of the rose. Nabiki just bit her lip, not replying.

Kodachi laughed merrily. "Allow me to give you some useful advice, Brother dear," she said. "You, whose rigid and formal fighting style does not allow for the battlefield adjustments and moral ambiguities necessary to win against more able opponents, do not stand a chance against my much more flexible techniques!"

"Huh?" Miyuki asked.

"Translation: I cheat, you don't," interjected Nabiki.

"You," Kodachi continued, "whose sword styles, descended as they are from the noblest of samurai and steeped in the traditions of our forefathers, are artful and quite manly, can never possibly match the grace, beauty, and lethality of my own style, which perfectly melds the delicate art of rhythmic gymnastics with the deadliest of combat techniques."

"She's lost me again," Miyuki said.

"Translation: I can kick your butt and my leotard is sexier than your hakama," Nabiki offered.

"You, Brother dear, whose love does not burn as deeply or as brightly as the love I hold for my dear and noble Ranma, whose love, in fact, is so shallow that you can not even decide _which_ girl you love...."

"You're a two-timer," said Nabiki.

"I got that one loud and clear," Miyuki replied.

"....In short, one such as yourself can never hope to defeat me, my Brother. Stay out of this; it is none of your concern."

"Nay!" Kuno shouted. "And again I say: Nay! Though it burns my soul to pit myself against my own flesh and blood, this I must do! I am making this my concern, dear Sister. If Father may take your side in this battle, then surely I may take the side of my one true love. For thus it has always been: a man must take the side of his beloved in any familial conflict."

"Sheesh. Are they ever going to fight?" Miyuki muttered.

Kuno paused, turned to the side, and exclaimed, "But what of Akane? She is also my one true love!"

"Here, Brother," Kodachi said, tossing him a red rose. "A second rose to match the first. One for your fallen love, and one for she who watches from the stands. You can fight for _both_ of them."

Kuno's eyes lit up. "Of course! Why did I not see it?" He placed both roses between his teeth and posed again. "My deepest thanks, Sister dear;" he mumbled around rose stems. "You have set my troubled mind at ease. Alas, now I must defeat you...."

Kuno collapsed to the grass, sound asleep. A peal of laughter rang out from Kodachi.

"Well, that was all quite pointless," Miyuki muttered.

"Is it _finally_ over, then?" Kodachi cried out. "Have I proven to one and all that I am _still_ the Queen at this school?"

"Not quite," a voice called out.

Kodachi spun about. Her eyes went wide. "You! I _poisoned_ you!"

"I got better," Ranma Saotome said.

XXX

For the second time that afternoon, Ranma faced off on the field against Kodachi

"No fair!" Kodachi exclaimed. "I've battled the Amazon girl and my own brother, and all this time you've been resting!"

"Resting?" Ranma growled. "Is that what you call it? You put me to sleep! This is all _your _fault! Besides," she added, "no rules, remember?"

"But I have defeated _three_ opponents already," Kodachi insisted, "Including you! Therefore, I win!"

"Technically speaking," Nabiki called out from the sideline, "Shampoo also defeated you."

"She did not!" Kodachi pointed to the kitten, still tied up in ribbon and now sitting and patiently watching the events. "See how I've tied her up!"

"You haven't defeated _me_ then, either," Ranma said. "And _I_ am your opponent, after all."

"Just because we agreed to no rules does not mean both sides can continually substitute new combatants forever!" Kodachi cried.

"You should have thought about that before we started," Ranma said.

"Actually, that sounds like an excellent idea," Shizuko Satori called out from the sidelines. She drew her bokken and strode out to stand beside Kodachi. "If there truly are no rules, then there is nothing to prevent me from moving up my own fight from 2 PM to right now. I have no need to wait for my revenge; I can fight alongside Kodachi Kuno. And if it is fair that a rested opponent face her after her long battle with the Chinese peasant girl, then surely it is also fair that you face both of us at once."

Kodachi drew ribbon between fingers. "I will fight beside you, Satori, but we are _not_ friends, and never have been," she said.

"My thoughts exactly, Kuno," Shizuko replied.

Ranma smirked. "Very well," she said. "I'll take you both down...."

"Clear the way!" a voice called out. "Clear the way! Coming through!"

The crowd parted. Ranma groaned. A tiny old man in a purple gi was bounding ahead of a swarm of angry girls. There was a large bag slung over his shoulder.

"What a haul! What a haul!" The man bounced across the field, coming to a sudden stop in front of Ranma. He dropped his sack. "Hotcha! What a babe! Gimme some sugar, Sweetie!" he exclaimed, launching himself at Ranma.

Ranma's fist met the Master halfway, driving him into the ground.

Happosai popped back up. "I recognize that punch," he muttered. He peered closer. "Ranma? Is that really you?"

"Just what the hell do you think you're...." Ranma began.

Hearing the rumble of a stampede approaching, Happosai went into action. "Quick, Ranma, my boy! Hold this!" The perverted Master tossed her the large sack. Ranma, had a lot of experience at this, however. She immediately tossed the bag to Shizuko.

"What?" Shizuko asked, looking confused. She peered at the bag a moment. "Gym shorts...?"

A tidal wave of angry girls crashed over Shizuko. Kodachi got caught up in the swell. When the crowd of girls parted, both Kodachi and Shizuko were lying on the field unconscious.

The girls gathered their gym clothes and faded back into the crowd. Ranma waited. Moments later, Happosai appeared. He sat down a few feet away and lit his pipe. "So, Ranma, how's things with you?" he asked.

"I... think I just won a challenge," Ranma said. She poked at Kodachi and Shizuko. "Two of them, acutally. By default."

"That's wonderful!" Happosai exclaimed. "Here, let's celebrate. Give your old Master a big hug!"

Happosai latched himself like a leech onto Ranma's chest. "Hey, Old Freak!" Ranma yelled, pounding Happosai into the ground again.

Again the Master of Anything Goes Martial Arts popped back up. This time he held something in his hands.

"Oooh! Red lace!" he exclaimed in delight.

Ranma's hand went to her chest. "What the hell? That's my bra!"

"Ranma-chan's bra!" Happosai breathed. He held it up for all to see. "It's the holy grail! The insurmountable peak has been conquered! This is a prize to be coveted above all others!"

"Give that back!" Ranma growled.  
"Never!" Happosai replied. "This will hold a special place in my collection. I shall treasure this always!"

Ranma chased Happosai about the field. Most of the crowd were confused, but they continued to watch, not sure what might happen next.

"I have no idea if this is a legitimate fight anymore," Miyuki said. "But I'm getting some incredible video footage!"

"I think we can safely say that Happosai is not another substitute for Kodachi," Nabiki said. "He's pretty much the _cause_ of her defeat, after all. Ranma's won then." She nodded in satisfaction. "That's my story, and I'm sticking to it."

"Oh, look," Miyuki exclaimed. "Ranma's got her bra back. Good for her!"

Now Happosai was chasing Ranma around the field. "Give it back! Give it back!" The Master shouted angrily. Nabiki could feel something like electricity in the air. Ranma's diminutive Master appeared to shimmer as the air about him grew dark and distorted. Nabiki felt a prickling on her skin, and her eyes narrowed..

"Miyuki," she said, "whatever you do, don't stop filming."

Ranma was moving in ever-tighter circles. "Happosai won't fall for that," Nabiki muttered. "Unless... is he _really_ that distracted by the lure of Ranma's bra?"

The two bounded about the field in a collapsing spiral. Finally Ranma paused, then met her attacker with a powerful uppercut. "Hiryu Shoten Ha!" Ranma yelled.

A massive tornado spun up into the air, carrying away Happosai, Kodachi, Shizuko, Tatewaki Kuno, Principal Kuno, and even Ranma's bra. In the crowd people were either struck dumb with amazement or panicked and tried to run away.

Recognizing what was coming, Cologne had swooped in to scoop up Shampoo. She hopped to the Cat Café stand and set the tangled kitten down. "Well, that's our Ranma-chan for you," she said with admiration. "Ending everything with a bang. Now _that's_ entertainment!" She cackled loudly.

At the front of the crowd, Nabiki said, "Well, that seals the deal. Ranma wins."

"Oh. My. God." Miyuki breathed. "_What _is _that_?"

"Hiryu Shoten Ha: Heaven's Dragon Blast," Nabiki replied. "A technique that Ranma learned from the Amazon Cologne, and easily her _best_ attack. She draws her opponent into a collapsing spiral, then uses their hot ki against them by combining it with her own soul-of-ice cold ki. When she throws his punch, a tornado is the result. The stronger the opponent's ki, the more powerful the attack. But Happosai knows the technique and has only fallen for it once before. He _really_ wanted that bra bad.." Nabiki smirked, then added, "Tell me you got all of that recorded."

"Ten Four," Miyuki replied. "I'm still filming. Are they going to come back down?"

"Of course," said Nabiki. She peered up into the sky. "Look, here they come now...."

Miyuki followed them with her camera, all the way down. When the last of them had landed on the soccer field, she panned over them, then back to Ranma. Finally she put the camera down. She hugged it to her chest.

"That," she said, "was the most awesome thing I have _ever_ seen!"

To Be Continued


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

A large man in a white gi entered an old Tokyo shop down near the docks and warehouses. He wore glasses and had a white bandana tied about his head. The shop was crammed with knickknacks and curios of every sort, and the aisles between the cluttered shelves were quite narrow. The shop smelled sour and dusty.

Genma tiptoed between stacks of books and glass shelves piled with statuettes and odds and ends. Despite his bulk he was quite nimble – he was not just a martial artist, but also quite an accomplished thief. At the back of the shop he found the proprietor, an old Chinese man with white hair, a long white beard and coke-bottle glasses. His skin was wrinkled and spotted, his hands bony and shaking, but he had the look in his eyes of a crafty thousand-year-old sorcerer. Or perhaps just a senile one.

"Yes?" he said. "How may I help you?"

Genma wetted his lips nervously. "Greetings, Grandfather. I... I'm looking for something that would cure or remove a curse."

"Ah, yes," the old man said. He nodded as if this were a perfectly normal thing to be looking for. "Any particular kind of curse, Good Sir?"

"A Jusenkyo curse, actually," Genma replied.

The man peered at Genma through his thick glasses. "You seem to have a very strong battle aura, Sir," he said. His voice sounded frail, but Genma was even more convinced that here was a man who was much more than he seemed.. "Are you, by chance, an honorable martial artist?"

"Oh, yes," Genma replied. "That's me. Completely honorable. My Master trained to always do the right thing."

The old man smiled. "Ah. Good. I would not trust just anyone. Young man, I _may_ be able to help you."

Genma waited with thinly disguised impatience as the old man shuffled to the front door, locked it, and turned the "Open" sign around. "Come, follow me," he said.

There was even more junk in the back. Genma looked around carefully, but there was no telling what was valuable and what was worthless. The little man sat at a stained and weathered table against the back wall piled high with books and papers. He pulled out a huge, leather-bound tome and began to page through it.

"Now, let's see," the man said. "A Jusenkyo curse, was it? I remember something... Jusenkyo, Jusenkyo..." he continued to page for several minutes. "Ah, here we go. Jusenkyo Cursed Training Grounds. They are an ancient training grounds in the Bayankala Mountain Range in the Qinghai Province of Western China. Here there are found over 100 springs, each with it's own tragic legend and associated curse...."

"Yes, yes, I know all of that already," Genma said impatiently. "Can we get to the part where it talks of a cure?"

The shop owner nodded. "Let's see... ah, here we go. For a man with a Jusenkyo curse, it is reputed that the waters of the spring of the Nanniichuan would provide a cure... that means Spring of Drowned Man. And for a woman, the corresponding Nyannichuan would also do the trick, at least in theory...."

"Yes, yes, I know that part too," Genma said. "Is there any other way? Perhaps a magic spell or scroll or ritual or item of some sort?"

The old man closed the book. "There is nothing listed here," he said. "It sounds like we are dealing with a powerful curse. In that case, there are few options. A truly powerful wish might do it...."

"Do you have something like that?" Genma asked eagerly.

"Not as such... no, wait." The old man got up and wandered down an aisle, Genma following. "Ah, here it is." Genma saw only several rows of stone frogs. He frowned as the old man carefully pulled one down. It appeared old and worn.

"This particular stone frog is reputed to house a very powerful demon," said the man. "Legend tells of how the great monk Liu Ling trapped the demon Guagua within this statue, and it will grant a wish to whoever releases it. If you believe the legend," the old man added.

"How much for the frog?" Genma demanded.

"Oh, Good Sir, I don't think I could ever sell this. Not only is the value of it incalculable, but it would be very dangerous in the wrong hands. Many people might die should the demon Guagua be freed. Plus," the old man added, putting it back on the shelf, "it's part of my collection of stone frogs, see? I have exactly one hundred of them! So as you can see, I could never part with it."

Genma stared at the frog for several moments, then said, "Very well, then. I understand. Thank you for showing it to me, Grandfather."

XXX

Ranma watched as Akane worked her way through the kata. It was early Sunday morning and dawn was just breaking over the Eastern horizon. Akane spun and danced a slow ballet as the first rays of sunlight danced across the lawn.

Ranma nodded in satisfaction. "Nice," she said. "I can already see how graceful it's going to look, once you have it down."

"It looks awesome when you do it," Akane said. "Seriously. I need a lot of work. But thanks."

"I really shouldn't be teachin' it to you yet," Ranma said. "I don't think I'm finished with it."

"It seems finished to me," Akane replied. She finished the final moves and stood still for a moment. "Actually, I don't care if you _do_ improve it. I think it's going to help me a lot just the way it is."

She smiled and gave a mock bow. "Not bad, for a first attempt?" she asked.

"Not at all," Ranma said. "Now, show me your chestnut fist."

"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken?" Akane centered herself, then attacked. Her punches flew fast and furious. Ranma blocked every one of them.

"Again," Ranma demanded. And then, "Again." They kept this up until Akane was breathing heavily.

"I'm still way too slow," she said, resting. "Not a single punch got through."

"Nah, you're getting fast real quick," Ranma replied. "I'm just a lot faster than back when I first learned this. It took me weeks to get it down. You've been practicing a few days only."

Akane smiled. "You don't have to be so nice," she said. "I know I've got a long ways to go."

"But you _are_ a lot better," Ranma replied. "Besides, being nicer is part of _my_ training."

The two girls sparred for another half hour, by which time the sun had fully risen. Inside the house, the smell of fresh miso soup drifted from the kitchen. Ranma and Akane washed up in the bathroom.

"Can I wash my hair yet?" Ranma asked.

"Not until Monday night," Akane replied. "It's only been a day and a half; it takes time to make sure the perm sets in."

Ranma grumbled. Akane laughed. "I never realized you were so big on bathing," she said. "When you first showed up you were scared to bathe."

"I was just scared to reveal my secret that first day," Ranma replied. "I've always liked being clean. When I was traveling with Pops we'd go days and days without a bath, but when we got the chance it always felt good. Now, if I don't wash every day, I feel dirty. I must be gettin' soft or something."

"Or civilized, possibly," Akane replied.

"Pops says washing every day is girlish and feminine." Ranma laughed.

"That sounds like your father," Akane said.

"Smells like him, too." This sent Akane into a fit of giggles.

"Oh, Kami, that's funny. He really _is_ an idiot, you know," she said.

"Yeah, I know," Ranma replied. "I wonder where he is now?"

"Who knows?" Akane said. "Hopefully a long way from here."

"Probably getting me inta trouble again," Ranma muttered. "If I had to guess, he's probably stealing something."

XXX

It was still early morning. The curio shop was dark and empty. There came a creaking sound, as if a door or window were being opened slowly. Then there was silence.

In the back room, directly before a long shelf containing many stone frogs, a large panda suddenly appeared, as if from thin air. It reached out, picking up a particular frog. The panda nodded to itself and then vanished from view.

The shopkeeper did not call the police or report the theft. Although the security camera had caught everything, who would believe that a ninja panda had stolen his favorite stone frog?

XXX

Nabiki Tendo gave her sister Kasumi a hug. They were in Nabiki's room, sitting on the bed, with boxes everywhere. It was Sunday morning and Nabiki was in the middle of packing.

"I'm going to miss you, Nabiki," Kasumi said.

"It's not that far away," Nabiki replied. "You can come visit any time you like. That gives you an excuse to see Akane too."

"I know... but it won't be the same without you and Akane here. It's going to be a little bit lonely."

Nabiki sighed. "I'm sorry to leave you all alone like this, Sis," she said. "If there were a better way...."

"Oh, no," Kasumi said. "You do what you have to do, Nabiki. I know this is a big opportunity for you, and a big step towards independence. It's just...." Kasumi's voice trailed off. She looked about the room. "First Akane leaves, and now you... both of your rooms are going to be completely empty by this evening...."

"Stop it," Nabiki said. "You make me feel guilty."

Kasumi giggled. "You? Feeling guilty?"

"I know. It completely spoils my rep." Nabiki started packing again. "I don't mind so much leaving you with Daddy," she said, "it's just... you've given up your own life to take care of the rest of us. It really doesn't seem fair."

"Now, don't talk like that," Kasumi replied. "That's not true at all. You might as well say that every housewife who takes care of her family and household is throwing her life away. You don't really _believe_ that do you?'

"Of course not," Nabiki said. "But that's exactly the problem, isn't it? Sis, you're _not _a housewife. Don't you see? You've never been allowed to live like a normal young woman."

"Hush," said Kasumi. "I still have Father and two wonderful sisters. There are many girls who aren't nearly as lucky as I am. I've nothing to be sorry for."

"Well okay, but I'm worried that you'll end up having to take care of the panda and the freak on your own."

Kasumi frowned. "Father's Master and his best friend are _always _welcome in this house," she said. ""How could it be otherwise?"

"I'm just worried about you, Sis," Nabiki said. "That's all."

"Well, don't be," Kasumi replied. "You know that I'll be fine. It's Father I'm worried about. How is he going to react when you tell him you're moving out? It'll break his heart."

"Everything breaks his heart," Nabiki said. "But yeah. I've been dreading telling him. He'll make a scene."

She taped up the box she was working on, then stood. "He's downstairs, right?" When Kasumi nodded, Nabiki said, "Well then, here goes nothing...."

XXX

Ranma was dressing in her room when her cell phone rang.

"Kami, it's only Seven AM," she grumbled. "Who's calling me at this hour? Sayuri said she wouldn't call until at least Eight."

"Why would Sayuri call _you_?" Akane asked from her side of the room.

"Ah, she wants to get together with me today," Ranma replied.

"Really? Sayuri? With you?" Akane sounded genuinely puzzled.

"She wants to dress up. Lolita-style, I guess," Ranma added.

"Oh," Akane said. "I get it. She's always been a fan of that gothic lolita stuff. Yuka and I were never into it." Akane laughed. "I bet she thinks you're some sort of kindred spirit, a mutual gothic lolita fan."

Ranma answered her phone. "Hello?"

"Ranma, it's Miyuki! Are you awake?"

Ranma sat down on her bed. "Would I be answering the phone if I wasn't?" She asked.

"Oh gosh!" Miyuki exclaimed. "I didn't wake you up did I?"

"Nah. Akane and I get up early to train. I've been awake for over an hour."

"Oh, good!" Miyuki said. "I'm on your front porch. Can you open the door?"

Ranma frowned. She walked down the hallway to the living room and opened the door. A girl with thick brown hair tied with a white ribbon stood there.

"Miyuki, what are you doing here at this hour?" Ranma asked.

"Nothing," Miyuki replied. "I just thought that, you know, it's a day off, no big fights scheduled, maybe we could hang out and do something."

"Sorry, I can't," Ranma said. "I'm supposed to do something with Sayuri today."

Miyuki's face fell. "Oh? What are you going to do? And who's Sayuri?"

"She's a friend of Akane's from Furinkhan. She used to not like me, but... I don't know what she wants to do... dress up and visit some place... the Harajuku district I think.....'

Miyuki's eyes went wide. "No way! You guys are walking around Harajuku? What are you going to wear? Are you doing gothic lolita again?"

Ranma shrugged. "I guess that's the plan. I really don't know yet."

Miyuki grabbed Ranma's arm. "Ranma, you _have_ to let me come! I am an _expert_ on gothic lolita fashion. I can help you get dressed – I have stuff you can borrow – oh, we can find something _really_ cute, for you, trust me on this... and your friend as well!"

Miyuki paused to take a breath. "And then I can get it all on video."

"I don't know, Miyuki. It's really Sayuri's idea, not mine...."

Miyuki whipped out her cell phone. "What's her number? I'll call and ask her."

"I don't remember off the top of my head... let me get my phone. Oh, you'd better come in."

Miyuki stepped inside and removed her shoes. Nodoka came out of the kitchen. "Why, hello there, Miyuki! Would you like to eat breakfast with us?"

"Thank you, Saotome Sensei, that would be great."

Nodoka frowned at Ranma. "Daughter, is _that_ how you greet people at the door?"

Ranma glanced down at herself. She had a white satin blouse on. Below that, she wore white satin panties – and nothing else.

"I'm still getting dressed. But it's only Miyuki, Mom," she said. "She's seen me undressed before."

"Really, Ranma," Akane growled, stepping into the living room. "You are completely unbelievable!"

XXX

The wood floor was cool on Nabiki's bare feet. She heard the jingle of the wind chimes, the light splash of koi in the pond outside. Kasumi was humming in the kitchen. She could smell rice cooking. In the living room, newspaper rustled as her father turned to a new page.

Nabiki savored all of it -- the sounds, the smells, the feeling of home. It was all so familiar and comforting. These things had been a part of her life for seventeen years, but after today things would never be like this again.

She padded softly into the living room and sat down opposite her father. A bowl of rice and a cup of tea waited for her. She took a sip and said, "Daddy, I have something I need to tell you."

"Yes, Nabiki?" Soun replied, not putting the paper down.

"Ukyo Kuonji has offered me a job in her new restaurant," Nabiki folded her arms, nervous about how her father might react to this news. "It's much larger than her old place, and much nicer. It's a lot of responsibility... and it comes with a room. There's an apartment above the restaurant with an extra room that she's offered to me. I'll be much closer to St. Hebereke...."

"That sounds nice," Soun replied, not looking up.

"So I accepted," Nabiki said. "I'll be moving out this afternoon."

"That's good, Nabiki. You're showing initiative."

Nabiki stared at her father while he continued to read. "Daddy? Did you hear what I said?"

"You're getting a job," Soun replied. "Your father is very proud of you, Nabiki. You're finally taking some responsibility."

Her father glanced over his paper for a moment. He paused, staring at her. "Nabiki?" he asked. "Did you do something to your hair?"

Nabiki touched her hair. It hung to her waist, three feet longer than it had been two days ago. It was also tied with a blue ribbon halfway down her back. "I... grew it out," she said.

Soun smiled. "I knew it looked different! It looks nice, Nabiki." He went back to reading his paper.

"Then... you don't mind?" Nabiki asked.

"Mind? About what?"

Nabiki sighed. "I'm moving out, Daddy. Out of the house. I won't be living here any more."

Soun's paper dropped to his lap. He stared at Nabiki blankly. "What?"

"I'm going to be living with Ukyo in the apartments above her restaurant."

"But... but you can't...." Soun began.

"Daddy, it's for the best," Nabiki said. "I'm sorry, but I need to be closer to my new school."

Soun stared at her a moment longer. "I understand," he finally said. "You're old enough to make your own decisions, Nabiki."

"Thanks, Daddy, I...."

"Wah!" The expected tears erupted suddenly. "All of my daughters are leaving me!" Soun wailed. "I'll be all alone in my old age!"

"Oh, Father, that's not true," said Kasumi, walking into the room. She knelt and wrapped her arms about her father. "I'm still here with you....."

XXX

Not long after Miyuki and Ranma left to meet Sayuri, the doorbell rang again. Akane answered it, only to find Akela and Rin on the front doorstep. They both wore black leather jackets and motorcycle helmets.

"Hey there Akane. Is Ranma home?" Akela asked.

"Sorry, guys," Akane said. "You just missed her."

"Oh? Where's she off to then?" Akela asked.

"She and Miyuki are teaming up with my best friend Sayuri. They're going to dress up as gothic lolitas and wander around Harajuku."

Akela made a face. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. Don't ask me why. She's suddenly Miss Popular with everyone, even my oldest friends...."

"Well," Rin said, "We're heading on a bike ride down the coast. We were going to invite both of you, but if Ranma's not here then how about just the three of us? Want to come?"

"Oh, I don't know...."

"Aw, come on!" Akela cajoled. "It'll be fun, trust me! Kaida's not with us so no lewd or suggestive behavior, I promise!"

Akane frowned. "Well... I guess I don't really have anything else planned for the day. Where are you guys going?"

"Just driving South, maybe as far as Hakone," Rin said. She smiled and added, "If you're worried about money, don't be. We'll pay for everything. Rich girls, remember?"

"I wasn't really worried about that," Akane said. She frowned, then shrugged. "Sure, I'll come. It sounds fun."

"Cool!" Akela exclaimed. "You won't be disappointed!"

Rin glanced at Akane's dress. "You should change, though," she said. "You'll want to dress for a long bike ride."

Ten minutes later Akane reappeared from her bedroom. Rin and Akela frowned at her choice of clothing.

"What?" Akane asked. "What's wrong?"

"Honesty, Akane," Akela said. "Yellow pants? A flower print blouse? Tennis shoes?"

"Is there something wrong with this?" Akane grabbed a coat. "I wore tights underneath. I don't think I'll get cold."

"Yeah, but you look totally and completely girly," Akela said. "On a bike ride you should try to look more bad-ass."

"I didn't know I was _supposed _to look 'bad-ass'," Akane said. "It's just a bike ride, right? I'll be fine."

"You should at least have blue jeans on," Rin said. "And a black rocker shirt would be good." She indicated her own shirt, for a band named Blood Stain Child. "Also for best effect I'd recommend leather boots and a leather jacket. Black, of course."

"I don't own anything like that," Akane said.

"We could go buy you some," Akela replied.

Akane laughed. "No thanks. This is fine."

"Are you sure?" Rin asked. "It would be no problem at all."

"Trust me," Akane said. "I've never needed to _look_ tough, because I already know that I _am_ tough. I can take care of myself."

XXX

Ranma found herself once again at Miyuki's house, being dressed up like a Victorian doll. The only difference was that, this time, Akane's old friend Sayuri was getting the same treatment. A lit candle filled the room with the scent of strawberries. Bouncy anime music played in the background. Tomari lay on the bed reading manga and occasionally watching their preparations.

"If you're going to dress up and walk around Harajuku, then you've _got_ to do it right," Miyuki said. "Ranma, did you bring Anne with you?"

Ranma looked at her blankly. "Anne?" she asked.

"Your gothic lolita teddy bear," Miyuki replied. "Remember? I named your bears. The karate one is Bruce, the lolita one is Anne."

"Oh yeah... I completely forgot about that."

"Well, I've got one you can borrow," Miyuki said. "You need to _accessorize_ after all!" She disappeared into a walk-in closet, then tossed out a lace-trimmed blouse. "Try that on, Ranma. I think it'll go well with that skirt."

Sayuri studied herself in a floor-length mirror. Half of what she wore was borrowed from Miyuki. "You sure know a lot about lolita fashion, Miyuki," she said.

"I'm good at designing clothes," Miyuki replied. "I always have been, and lolita styles are one of my favorites. Here, I've got the _perfect_ headband for that dress...." She pulled a box down from a shelf. "Ah, here it is! There's a matching choker too. Want to try it on?"

As she helped Sayuri position the headband, Miyuki asked, "Sayuri, do you know martial arts?"

"Not at all," Sayuri replied.

"Really? I was starting to think that _everyone _who knew Ranma was a brilliant martial artist."

"Nope," Sayuri replied, laughing. "Only about half of them."

"I wonder how you fit into the group, then?" Miyuki mumbled, half to herself.

"Fit into what group?" Sayuri asked.

"Hmm? Did I say something?" Miyuki asked.

"Miyuki's obsessed," Tomari said. "She thinks Ranma and her friends are all magical girls. Just ignore her."

Sayuri burst into a fit of giggles. "Ranma, a magical girl? I remember Akane said something about that though. That is _really_ funny!"

"Yeah, laugh it up," Ranma said. "Akane thought it was hilarious too."

"Is Ranma Sailor Moon then?" Sayuri asked.

"Well, the leader anyway," Miyuki replied. "I haven't worked out _exactly_ what the name of the team is, or what their theme is. But I figure Akane would be a member, and Ukyo, and Shampoo, and Akela's a good fighter, and our friend Sachiko is _really_ good with a sword... oh, I almost forgot! Ukyo's new waitress Konatsu is some kind of master ninja!" Miyuki paused, thinking. "That's all so far, I think. Maybe Kodachi and Satori are their enemies? Or Kodachi's father, or that little old man you blew up, Ranma."

"Happosai," Ranma said. "Ancestors, I hope I don't see that freak again for a while, at least. Anyway," she added, "I ain't no magical girl."

"You transform from a guy to a girl," Miyuki said. "That's magic, right?"

"It's a magical curse," Ranma said.

"It's not a curse, Ranma," Miyuki replied. "It's a blessing."

"No it isn't," Ranma said. "Why would you even think that?

"Because, you get to be a girl," Miyuki replied. "I think that's neat!" Noticing Ranma's frown, she added, "You don't enjoy being a girl, Ranma?"

"No. Not really," Ranma said. "It has it's uses, but... mostly it's annoying."

Miyuki looked Ranma up and down.

"Forgive me for saying this," she said. But you've adapted to being a girl pretty well. Better than most boys could ever hope to manage."

" It's just acting," Ranma replied. "That, and I've had this body for a while now. You get used to it after a while. That doesn't mean I _like_ it, though."

"Don't let Ranma spoil your fun, Miyuki," said Sayuri. "If anyone could pull off being an actual magical girl, I bet Ranma could." She glanced at herself in the mirror. "Me, I'm almost too chicken to go out in public dressed like this...."

"That's why we're all going together," Miyuki said. "I've only done this once before, with Tomari, but it was _lots_ of fun. Right, Tomari?"

"I survived the experience," Tomari replied without looking up.

Miyuki frowned. "Aren't you going to get dressed, Tomari?"

"I _am_ dressed."  
"Dressed up, I mean," Miyuki replied. "Come on! The rest of us are doing it, and I've got _lots_ of outfits!"

Tomari frowned. "If I must...."

XXX

The roar of two motorbikes echoed off the hills. Akane held on tight to Akela's waist as the air whipped past. She felt the hum of the engine, and could see Rin ahead of them, her long brown braid trailing in the wind. The scenery flew by.

Akela's bike was silver and modern looking and very, very fast. Rin rode a much older black bike, almost antique looking, but it also seemed quite powerful. The winding coastline highway disappeared under their tires.

Akane enjoyed the view. They would pass through wooded areas and then come around a corner where the open sea was visible, with the morning sun shining on it. Then they would pass through a small town and off down another open stretch of road.

After perhaps an hour they passed through Odawara and headed up a steep road into the mountains. Soon were rolling into the resort town of Hakone. The two bikes pulled up outside of a small restaurant.

Akane's legs felt a little rubbery after the long ride. She got off and looked around. Hakone was a pretty mountain town – famous throughout Japan as a resort town, with a number of good inns, hot springs everywhere, and Lake Ashi nearby.

"Wow," Akane said. She took a deep breath. "I love fresh mountain air."

"Yeah, I love it up here," Akela said. "Have you ever been up here before?"

"Not in a while," Akane said. "Well, I've been up in the mountains on training trips with Ranma before. We were near here at least once, I think, but we didn't come into town."

"What now?" Akela asked. "Have we got any plans? Do we just want to window shop?"

"I should probably get something to take back to Ranma and Mother Saotome, since we're here," Akane said. "My sisters and my father too."

"We really should visit the hot springs," Rin said.

Akane raised an eyebrow. ""Oh? Is that why you brought me here, so you could get me naked?"

Rin laughed. "We don't have to do that if you don't want. It was just a suggestion. We could go see the Hakone Shrine instead, or take a boat ride on the lake."

"Just kidding," Akane said. "I don't care what we do, although actually, a visit to the hot springs _does_ sound good...."

As they stood there debating, another motorcycle roared up. The driver pulled over beside them and killed the engine. He took his helmet off, revealing a boy perhaps a year or two older than the girls. "Hey, you!" he said. "Girl with the braid. I thought I recognized you. You're that Tokudaiji girl, right? The racer on a the pink Honda?"

Rin nodded. "That's me." Akane noticed that she'd actually checked out the guy's bike before looking at him. "Something I can help you with?"

"I'm Tamotsu Hara. I'm Mikio Arakaki's cousin. You beat him in a race two weeks ago."

"Yes, I remember," Rin said.

"Or I should say that you got lucky," the guy continued. "No way a girl could have beaten my cousin otherwise."

"Ancestors," Akela muttered under her breath. "_This_ crap again? You'd think by driving two hours out of Tokyo we might have left it behind...."

"This happens often?" Akane asked, also keeping her voice low.

"Rin beats a lot of guys in bike racing," Akela said. "Some of them can't handle it."

Rin crossed her arms. "It wasn't luck," she said.

"Oh, I can't _prove _that you cheated," the guy continued, "but even if you didn't, you only really won because of the top-of-the-line racing bike that your daddy bought you. You wouldn't be _in_ racing if it weren't for your rich dad."

Rin nodded. "You're partly right. My father's team provides me with the best equipment in the world. But even the best bike can't win if the rider has no skill. I had to _earn _my position on the team, by proving that I could race against the best. If I didn't do well then I would be replaced."

"Rin races bikes?" Akane asked.

"Yeah," Akela replied. "Every Saturday. That's practically all she's interested, to be honest."

"If you're so good," Hara said with a sneer, "then why are you only third in the standings?"

Rin shrugged. "Tenoh and Morisato are good racers, too. Even your cousin Arakaki's pretty good." She smirked, adding, "But I beat them all yesterday."

"Again," the guy said, "only because you've got better equipment. A girl can never beat a guy given equal equipment. Stands to reason."

"There's a lot more to racing than a fast bike," Rin said. "You'd know that if you were a real racer."

"Oh, I'm _real_ enough," the guy replied. "Tell you what, I'll race you right now."

"No thanks," Rin said. "We were just out for a leisurely Sunday ride."

_Leisurely?_ Akane thought. She wasn't sure _how_ fast they'd been going, but it was anything but leisurely.

"Have a nice day," Rin said. She turned to walk away.

"You scared, bitch?" Hara yelled out. He laughed. "Well, I can understand. That old clunker you're riding is no match for my Ninja."

Rin paused.

"Lemme kick his ass," Akela muttered.

"No," Rin said. "There's only one way to shut up an idiot like this. I'll give him his race; it won't take long."

Akane was alarmed. "On public streets? Isn't that dangerous?"

"Of course," Rin replied. "Highly illegal as well." She grinned. "That's why it's fun."

"Can you take him?" Akela asked.

"Easily," Rin said. "He's totally clueless. He doesn't even know what my bike is."

"Rin," Akane said, "you don't_ have_ to do this...."

"Yes I do," Rin replied. "Nobody insults my Black Lightning and gets away with it."

XXX

Nabiki sighed and hung up the phone.

"No luck?" Kasumi asked with a concerned look.

"None," Nabiki said. "That was Ranma. She's with Miyuki, Sayuri, and Tomari. She wouldn't tell me what they were doing, but she said they'd be busy all day. I can't get ahold of Akane, she won't answer her phone. According to Ranma's mom, Akane left on a bike ride down the coast with Rin and Akela."

"A bike ride?" Kasumi exclaimed. "How fun!"

"But I was hoping they'd help me move," Nabiki said. "I should have asked them yesterday, but I was so busy with the fight and helping at Uchan's that it completely slipped my mind. Ukyo's busy today, too. In fact, she would've liked to have me available to work... she doesn't have any other waitresses besides Konatsu just yet...."

There was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," Kasumi called out. She opened the door to find a beautiful young woman with a dark tan and bleached blonde hair. She wore a bright red strapless dress. "Hello? May I help you?" Kasumi said.

The woman smiled warmly. "Kasumi Tendo, isn't it?" she replied, holding out her hand. "It's an honor to meet you! My name is Kaida Genji. Is your sister Nabiki home?"

"Why, yes," Kasumi replied. Her face brightened. "Oh! Are you one of Nabiki's new friends from St. Hebereke?"

"Exactly that," Kaida said, stepping inside. She lowered her voice and said, conspiratorially, "Actually, we're more than that. Nabiki and I are _lovers_...."

Kasumi stared at her blankly for a moment, then her face flushed red. "Oh my!" she exclaimed. "Oh... oh my!"

XXX

The road twisted and coiled about the mountainside like an asphalt snake slithering between evergreen trees. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and the sound of racing bikes echoed off the hills.

Rin leaned into a curve as two bikes raced around a corner. Her long braid whipped in the wind. Her engine roared. Ahead was Tamotsu Hara on his ninja. She studied his technique.

For all his bluster, Hara was surprisingly good. He had a good bike. But he was not a competition racer like Rin. The difference between a good racer and a great racer was a gulf as wide as the Pacific, Rin knew.

Her bike had been tuned up last night in preparation for their ride. Odds were Hara hadn't done the same to his.

Rin watched him through a few more curves. She grinned. She'd seen enough. Time to show this guy what she could do.

Hara hugged the inside of the next curve. Rin swung wide to pass on the outside.

Hara's bike swung wide, nearly colliding with hers. Rin backed off, cursing. Was this guy mad? Any normal biker wouldn't have avoided him. Was he really willing to crash his bike to avoid losing? Or was he just that careless?

Rin gritted her teeth. So, that was how this was going to go. Hara wasn't just an idiot -- he was dangerous.

On the next straightaway, Rin gunned her bike. She made as if to pass on the right. Hara swerved to block her. Instantly she swung left. Her bike surged forward eagerly.

Hara's bike slid left, crowding her up against the barrier. Rin realized she wasn't going to make it past without scraping her bike against concrete. Once again she backed off.

Hara didn't know the difference between calculated risk and reckless endangerment. He would never make it as a professional racer. Still, Rin had dealt with reckless racers before. The hardest part was simply being patient and waiting for the right moment to pass.

Twice more she tried to pass, and was blocked. Then they reached a straight section of roadway with no traffic. Rin pulled out alongside the Ninja and gunned it.

The Vincent Black Lightning set a world speed record on September 13 1948, hitting a speed of just over 150 mph. Half a century later, the bike was still plenty fast, but paled in comparison to modern sports bikes. The Ninja that Hara rode was, in theory, capable of speeds in excess of 180 mph, with faster acceleration than Rin's bike.

And yet, she began to pull ahead. Rin winced. She _shouldn't_ be able to pass the Ninja on a straight section of roadway. It was a testament to the good condition of her bike, and how poorly Hara treated his.

She pulled out in front heading into the next turn. Here, and through the next several twisting turns, Rin's superior skills came into play. Steadily she put distance between her and the Ninja.

Her bike thundered beneath her. The Black Lightning was _meant_ to race. It had been locked away in storerooms and museums for too many years. It felt _hungry_. It roared like a wild tiger, loose after years of captivity.

The sun was bright in the sky, the wind on her face was stinging cold, and Rin Tokudaji was in heaven.

XXX

If Ranma had ever been more bored, she couldn't remember it. Wearing an elaborate gothic lolita outfit with ruffled black petticoats, black bloomers and bows attached to everything was bad enough. Spending the day walking around downtown Tokyo shopping and posing for pictures was about to put her to sleep.

She told herself over and over that this was all a part of her training to be a girl... but frankly, how many girls liked to wander about dressed like Victorian dolls? Akane would never be caught dead doing such a thing. Ranma was almost convinced that a Nabiki cheesecake photo shoot session would be more desirable.

Of course, there were a lot of other girls dressed up and walking around Harajuku. There were even some boys – sometimes dressed as girls. They all seemed to feed off the attention, as people paused to stare at them and take pictures. Despite protesting how afraid she was of dressing this way in public, Sayuri was clearly enjoying herself, and Miyuki was of course in heaven, taking pictures and video footage and talking for all four of them. Tomari looked bored, but like her older sister Kohana she always looked bored, even when she was having fun.

They ate lunch at a restaurant in one of the shopping centers. Tomari and Miyuki fought over who would get to pay. Ranma was happy to let them fight, since she couldn't afford it, but she kind of wished she'd had the opportunity to see how much food she could scam while wearing such an unbearably cute outfit.

Afterwards they went shopping, which did not interest Ranma either. Miyuki led them to several lolita specialty shops and bought outfits for Ranma and Sayuri. Sayuri, of course, was thrilled. If it hadn't been for Sayuri and Miyuki having so much fun, Ranma would have already gone home.

They wandered back to the bridge that crossed to Yoyogi Park. There were a lot of kids here in various elaborate outfits. They ran into another group of gothic lolita girls and were asked to pose for more pictures.

One of the girls had a very unusual necklace, a coiled serpent of some sort made of green glass on a silver chain. It caught Miyuki's eye immediately.

"Wow, where did you get that?" Miyuki asked.

The girl smiled. "Do you like it? It's an Aztec feathered serpent demon. I found it on Ebay."

"It looks_ fabulous_," Miyuki exclaimed. "It looks old too."

"It is," the girl said. "I wanted something that was different from the usual silver crucifix. And this was supposedly made in 1895 for a Mexican occultist, so it's even period."

"Wow, that's so cool," Miyuki exclaimed.

"No doubt my sister would find it fascinating," Tomari observed.

The girl lifted the chain over her head and handed the necklace to Miyuki. "Take a good look," she said. "The detail on the glass is really elaborate."

However, the necklace slipped through Miyuki's fingers. With a crash the glass shattered on pavement. "Oh no!" the girl cried out, distraught.

Green smoke rose up from broken glass. "What the heck?" Miyuki said. She and the others stepped back. As the smoke expanded, a ghostly snake appeared in its midst. It was the color of green tea with ocher feathers, and it arose like steam from a teacup until it towered ten feet in the air.

. "Who disssturbsss my ssslumber?" the snake hissed.

"Whoops," Miyuki said. "My bad."

XXX

Akane Tendo folded her arms across her chest. She stared down the road where two motorbikes had vanished. "I can't believe they're doing this," she muttered.

Akela Leilani laughed. "Don't worry," she said. "Rin always wins. Always."

"I wasn't worried about _that_," Akane retorted. "Besides, didn't that guy say she was third in standings?"

"She is," said Akela. "But _professional_ racing is different. This guy hasn't got a chance against her."

"He's got a much newer bike..."

"Oh, you'd be surprised at what Rin's bike is capable of," Akela said. "Rin rides racing bikes, nothing less. If she likes it, then you know it's fast."

"Racing in the streets is reckless," Akane said. "Someone could get hurt."

"I think they're racing about sixteen kilometers," Akela said. "They won't be back for a while at least. Want to window shop?"

"Yeah," Akane replied. She glanced into nearest shop window. "Oh, look at that!" she said. "That's _perfect_! Isn't it cute?"

On the other side of the glass was a small teddy bear in a pink gingham dress with white lace. Akela frowned. "Is that really your style, Akane?"

"It's for Ranma." Akane giggled. "Seriously," she said. "Ranma's been trying to be as_ girly_ as possible. She has some sort of stupid idea that ultra-girly things will help her adjust to being a girl faster, or something. She already has two teddy bears, and one of them has an elaborate gothic lolita dress. So I'm just adding to her collection. I can't _wait _to see her face when I give it to her."

"Let's get it, then," Akela said. She took a step towards the entrance. At the same time, Akane stepped backwards. The two collided and went down, with Akela on top. For a moment Akela was nose to nose with Akane. She stared into the other girl's eyes. She blinked. Her face flushed red, and she scrambled quickly to her feet.

"Sorry," Akela said. "Sorry."

"It's no problem," Akane replied. "It was partly my fault, too."

Akela began to laugh. "What's so funny?" Akane asked.

"That's... like, _the_ biggest romance story cliche in the book," Akela replied.

"What is?"

"Oh, you know," said Akela. "Boy trips over girl, then they kiss, or... they're all embarrassed, or... well, it's just something that happens in romance stories."

Akane frowned. "Don't be silly, we're both...." Her voice trailed off. "Wait a second. Akela? You _want_ to kiss me?" Akane's voice was tinged with horror.

Akela gave her a guilty look. "I... ah... that is, no, that's not what I meant, of course. I mean, if it comes to that... you really _are_ attractive, Akane, but...."

"Um... thanks. I think."

"I know you don't like any girl but Ranma," Akela said hurriedly.

"Ranma's not a girl," Akane said automatically. This was true, she _knew_ it was true, but for some reason it sounded more hollow every time she had to say it.

"Yes, I know," Akela replied. "I'm not lying though. I mean, who _wouldn't_ like you? You're tough yet irresistibly cute. You're warm and friendly, and you're an _incredible _martial artist. No offense, but you're like my dream girl."

Akane took a step back. "Don't say that," she said. "You're starting to sound like Kaida. I thought you were different...."

"Kaida would've kissed you already," Akela muttered. Akane's eyes widened further. Akela held up her hands. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable," she said. "You're the dream girl for a lot of boys, too, right? Didn't I hear that you had to fight them off at your other school?"

"No. I mean, yes, but that was all Kuno's fault...."

"I just think Ranma is really lucky to have you," Akela said.

Akane sighed. "Ranma... _doesn't_ have me," she replied. "I wish... I mean... well, it's... complicated."

XXX

The floorboards shook beneath Nabiki's feet. She sipped tea at the dining table and eyed Kaida coolly. "Teasing Akane is one thing, Kaida," she said disapprovingly. "Teasing my older sister is quite another. Telling her I'm your lover? Kasumi is the sweetest, nicest girl in the world, and _very_ trusting. She's practically been our mother ever since our real mother died. She doesn't deserve to be teased."

Kaida laughed merrily. "Oh, but the look on her face was _priceless_."

Nabiki glared. "I'm serious, Kaida. Don't do it again."

Kaida nodded. She stood and bowed like a nobleman. "My most sincere apologies, Lady Nabiki. You can't fault a girl for dreaming though, can you?"

Nabiki found herself blushing. She turned her attention instead to the burly movers who were tramping up and down the stairs. Everything she owned was being loaded into a moving van, while she sat by and watched. She selected another cookie from the plate that Kasumi had set out and bit into it.

"Under the circumstances, I think I can forgive you," she allowed. "Really, Kaida, I _must_ thank you for the help. I wasn't looking forward to moving all of this myself."

"Oh, don't mention it," Kaida replied airily. "What are friends for, after all? You should have called me to start with."

Nabiki smiled. She leaned back. "I could get used to this."

Kaida laughed. She took a sip of tea. "Now then, Nabiki," she said, "shall we discuss how you will pay me back?"

Nabiki's eyes locked on Kaida. "P-pay you back?" she stammered. "Kaida, if I could _afford_ to pay for professional movers, I would have done so myself!"

"Oh, I fully understand," Kaida replied smoothly. "But I do believe, if the situations were reversed, _you_ would not do _me_ a favor simply out of the kindness of your heart. You don't operate that way, do you? Be honest, Nabiki."

Nabiki looked away, arms crossed. "I... rarely have before, I guess," she admitted.

"Good!" Kaida replied, clapping her hands together. "Then I expect a favor in return! Not money, of course...." She pretended to consider the situation. "Oh, I know! You can repay me by going on a date with me!"

"A date?" Nabiki asked. Her tense muscles relaxed. So, that was all Kaida was after? Well, that was easy then. Nabiki had no trouble dating another girl if it got her out of having to move all of her stuff herself.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked. Nabiki operated so much better when she knew the other's weak points.

Kaida grinned. "How does this afternoon sound? Once we have you all moved in, of course."

Nabiki spread her hands wide. "My schedule is open, Kaida...."

XXX

Mr. Honda was an elderly gentleman in a sharp business suit. He had long white hair and a white beard. His elbows rested on a dark oak desk, and he steepled his hands as he watched a video display.

The only sound was the hum of the air conditioner. On the other side of the desk, another waited anxiously. This was also a bearded, elderly man, but seemingly more frail. He wore old robes and coke-bottle glasses.

The video came to an end. Mr. Honda raised an eyebrow.

'A ninja panda, Mr. Chin?" he asked.

"You can see why I didn't bring this to the police," the man with the glasses said. "Nobody would believe me. But I'm certain it's the strange man who visited me earlier in the day. He spoke of a Jusenkyo curse...."

"Ah, yes." Mr. Honda nodded sagely. "A fat man in a white gi? With glasses? Cursed to turn into a panda, you think?"

The shopkeeper wringed his hands. "Well, it's the only explanation I could come up with.... I know how strange it sounds...."

"No, not strange at all, actually. I believe I know the exact individual you speak of."

The shop owner blinked. "You do?"

"Oh, yes," replied the businessman. "He is well-known around the city, both as a formidable martial artist and as an occasional thief."

Mr. Chin smiled with relief. "I_ knew _you could help, Mr. Honda. You see, I'm afraid he plans to release the demon Guagua in an attempt to cure his curse."

Mr. Honda frowned. "That would be a foolish and dangerous thing indeed," he said. "We will have to stop him. I shall have my men locate him at once."

The shop owner nodded. "Good, good. But really, I just want my frog back. It means a lot to me. It's part of my collection, you see. I have exactly 100 of them...."

Mr. Honda sighed. "My apologies, Mr. Chin, but should we recover this stone frog intact, I'm afraid I won't be able to return it to you. Such a dangerous artifact should be locked up in a secure place, so this sort of thing does not happen again."

Mr. Chin's face fell. "But... my collection...."

Mr. Honda held up his hand. "Wait. As I'm sure you know, I have quite a large collection of artifacts myself. I will allow you to choose one of them as a replacement for your collection."

Mr. Chin's eyes lit up. "Really? Thank you, Honda-sama! I must admit, for many years I've had my eyes on a jade frog from the first dynasty that I believe is in your possession...."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One**

"Seriously, Akane?" Akela said. "Ranma's never even kissed you?"

A cool breeze blew through the streets of the resort town of Hakone. Akane Tendo and Akela Leilani sat on a wooden bench, waiting for Rin to return from her bike race.

"No, never," Akane replied. "Not for real, anyway. We've tried a few times, but something has always interrupting us, and..." she sighed.

"What's _wrong_ with her?" Akela asked. "Here I thought she was this big playgirl or something, stringing you and Ukyo and Shampoo along...."

"He _is _a playboy, at least in some ways," Akane said. "But Ranma's a weird mixture of overconfidence and insecurity. He's got pride but few social skills. His father dragged him all over Japan and China on training missions, so he's never had a close friend. Even at Furinkhan that was true."

"She _makes _friends easily enough," Akela said.

"That's true," said Akane. "But it's been different at St. Hebereke, so far. Maybe Ranma as a girl is easier to be friends with. Maybe this whole weird experiment of Ranma's mother is having a positive affect."

"So," Akela said, "if Ranma _did_ try to kiss you, you'd kiss her back? Even though she's a girl?"

Akane grimaced. "Akela, you've got a one-track mind."

Akela giggled. "Sorry," she said.

"First, Ranma's _not_ a girl. You know that, right?"

"Ranma is a girl at least _part_ of the time," Akela said. "She might even decide to live as a girl _all_ of the time...."

"No," Akane replied. "She'd never do that. Trust me.".

"But the point is...."

"Yes, I _know_ what your point is," Akane retorted angrily. "Look. I don't care that you girls like other girls. I'm okay with that now. At least, I'm _trying_ to be okay with it. But as for me, I'm _not_ attracted to other girls." She sighed, and put her head in her hands. "The honest truth is, I'm not even attracted to other _guys_. The only person I was ever attracted to in the past was my family doctor, and that was just a stupid crush that I had for years. But yes, I _am_ attracted to Ranma, whether she's a girl or a boy. How can I not be? You've met her; she absolutely _amazing._ She's frequently an idiot and has an ego the size of China, but...." Akane threw up her hands. "I can't help it. I _love_ her."

Akane breathed in a ragged sigh, and added, "Not that it really matters. Ranma doesn't like me that way."

"What?" Akela exclaimed. "But you two are inseparable!"

"Only because we're _forced_ to be together," Akane said. "She's made that perfectly clear lots of times. Even now, all I really am is someone to teach her how to be a girl, and to help her keep her combat skills up...."

"I don't believe that for one minute, Akane," Akela said.

"But it's true," Akane replied. "Ranma has Shampoo, and Ukyo, and... well, just about _everyone_ chases after her. Even Kaida, for that matter."

Akela rolled her eyes. "That's not saying anything. Kaida chases _every_ girl."

"Yeah, well. The point is, it's never going to work out between us. Can we just change the subject?"

A full-throttled roar echoed off the hills. A motorcycle appeared in the distance. It flew down the winding mountain road and right up to the sidewalk where Akane and Akela sat waiting. Dust and gravel kicked up as it slid to a halt. The rider killed the engine, removed her helmet, and shook out her long braid.

"Look who won," Akela said, grinning. "Not that I ever doubted."

Half a minute later Tamotsu Hara pulled up on his Ninja. He yanked off his helmet and started yelling.

"You bitch! You cheated! No _way _that clunker could beat my Ninja! That bike's gotta be custom!"

Rin just laughed. "You _are_ an idiot, Hara. This bike's restored with all original parts – I wouldn't _dream_ of modifying a bike like this with anything modern; the Vincent Owner's Club would have my head on a platter. Even at 50 years old, the Black Lightning is an incredible machine. It's no 'clunker', trust me. But yes, you were right – your Ninja is a better bike. I'm just the better rider."

The guy on the Ninja just stared at her for a long moment. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead he just put his helmet back on and took off. The roar of his bike faded into the distance.

Rin laughed and sat down on the bench beside Akela and Akane.

"That guy doesn't know his clutch from his brake," she said. "Would you believe he even tried to take a shortcut across the mountainside? The idiot does _not_ treat his bike properly."

XXX

Green smoke poured from the remnants of a shattered glass ornament. Within the smoke appeared a giant feathered serpent the color of green tea.

People screamed and stumbled back. Within moments an area had cleared around the creature, with only Ranma left facing it. She fell into a defensive stance. If not for the short skirt, layers of petticoats and exposed bloomers, she might have looked dangerous.

"Miyuki," Ranma said, "I'm starting to think you're a bigger chaos magnet than even I am."

. "Who disssturbsss my ssslumber?" the snake repeated.

"Who the hell wants to know?" Ranma shot back.

"I am the demon god Loa," the snake hissed. "Long have I waited to sssslay the one who imprisssoned me...."

"I hate to tell you, buddy, but that train's left the station." Ranma said. "So why don't you be a good little snake and crawl back into the hole you came from?"

"Never!" the snake hissed. It lashed out, lightning-fast, but Ranma was faster. She dodged with a backwards flip.

"If that's the way you want it, buddy," Ranma said, "then I'm game."

"What is it?" someone yelled.

"A youma!" another screamed. This was one of the girls in anime cosplay.

"Are they filming a movie?" a third person asked. "It looks so real!"

"It's not real?" a fourth exclaimed.

"Is it some sort of street theater?" another asked.

"Oh my goodness!" Miyuki exclaimed. "Where's my camera?"

Cameras flashed, as others got the same idea. The last of the screams died away. The crowd grew quiet as the red-haired gothic lolita girl and the snake circled, sizing each other up. The clack of platform boots on pavestone and the soft slither of the coiling snake were the only sounds to be heard.

The snake reared up and then spat yellow ichor. Ranma dodged, but the vile liquid hit several other people. The sticky substance quickly hardened into a pulpy, web-like mass.

"Sayuri! Miyuki! Tomari! Get outta here!" Ranma yelled. "Let me handle this!"

Sayuri was already running. Tomari grabbed Miyuki and drug her back.

"No!" Miyuki exclaimed. "I have to film this!"

"That's got a telephoto lens," Tomari said. "I suggest you use it."

XXX

The clink of china mixed with sounds from the kitchen and enka music playing softly in the background. Akane, Rin and Akela sat in a booth at a small Hakone cafe. They made small talk while they ate, until they came to the subject of bikes and racing, and then Rin did all of the talking. This surprised Akane – of the trio of friends that included Akela and Kaida, Rin had seemed to be the quiet one.

It turned out that Rin's father was obsessed with racing bikes, and hid youngest daughter clearly shared his obsession. Akane listened with only minimal interest until Rin mentioned how much her father had paid for the Black Lightning. Akane almost choked.

"_How_ much?" she exclaimed.

"Hey, it's a _very_ rare bike!" Rin said defensively.

"And your dad lets you take it out for a Sunday ride?" Akane asked. "_Race _it, even?"

"Well, of course," Rin replied, "I'm my dad's best mechanic. When he damages his bikes, he brings them to me. I'm allowed to ride _any _of his bikes."

Akela seemed about to add something, but she kept her mouth shut.

Akane took a bite of her food, then swallowed. "So if you're riding that... what's the bike Akela riding?"

"That's a 2000 Suzuki GSX 1300 R Hayabusa," Rin said. "That's all mine. It is, by the way, _faster_ than that idiot's Ninja, even _if_ he took good care of it. The Hayabusa is just an awesome bike all around. It's probably my favorite of all my modern bikes."

Akane's eyes widened. "You have more?"

Rin laughed. "Between my dad and I, we have a _lot_ of bikes." She frowned and began counting on her fingers. "Thirty... Thirty seven... well, probably not fifty, but more than forty for sure."

"I only own one bike," Akela said. "Just a simple Yamaha, not even a racing model. Rin absolutely forbids me to bring it on any long trips like this."

Rin stood suddenly up. "Hey! What the hell?"

Akane and Akela glanced out the window. Half a dozen young men were gathered outside near their two bikes. Most of them had leather jackets. As they watched, one of them lifted up his foot and kicked Rin's bike over.

"_My Black Lightning!_" Rin yelled out. Before the other two could react, she was racing for the door.

XXX

A limousine picked up Nabiki and Kaida at Uchan's. Nabiki couldn't help but smile at the stunned stares from Ukyo, Konatsu, the cook Goro, and the few patrons who were seated in the restaurant. Kaida greeted her with a kiss on the hand and helped her into the limo. _I could get used to this_, Nabiki thought.

The back seats were comfortable leather. Soft music played. There was a small bar. "Something to drink?" Kaida asked.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "We're underage," she pointed out.

"So? No one's going to stop us."

"Just an observation," Nabiki replied smoothly. "I'll have whatever you're having. Surprise me."

"Where to, Miss Genji?" the chauffeur asked.

"LaClaire Boutique, I think, to start with," Kaida replied.

As the limo headed down the street, Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "LaClaire Boutique? Isn't that a clothing shop?"

"A very exclusive dress shop, to be specific," Kaida replied. "I hope you don't mind, Nabiki, but I want my date to look _good_. I want to show you off, after all. What you're wearing simply won't do, so I'm going to buy you a something nice."

Nabiki glanced down at her dress and frowned. It was true, of course, that nothing in her closet had cost a great deal of money, but she had thought she looked pretty good. On the other hand, if the rich girl wanted to buy her a new, expensive dress, who was Nabiki to refuse?

Kaida was as good as her word. The dress shop _was_ exclusive, the dress they picked out _was_ expensive, and Nabiki looked _very_ good in it. It was a sleek dress of black silk, with a single-shoulder asymmetrical neckline and a matching asymmetrical hemline. A white silk jacket set off the dress nicely. Nabiki's eyes popped when she heard who the designer was – no less than the best for Kaida Genji, it seemed, or for her date.

The next stop was the parking garage of a downtown Tokyo skyscraper. Kaida led her to the elevators. They rode up to the twenty-second floor. Nabiki could hear music coming through the walls. A large woman wearing a tux guarded a door at the end of the hall.

"Welcome, Miss Genji," the woman said, bowing. "How nice to see you this evening. And is this your date for the evening? How very beautiful you are, Miss."

"Nabiki Tendo," Nabiki supplied. She smiled. Once they'd stepped inside, she asked, "What place is this?"

"The Lady K," Kaida replied. "It's a very exclusive private club. It's a great place, you'll see.."

Kaida led her down wide steps and into a large and dimly lit room. A band was on a stage at the far end. The center of the room was an open dance floor, with tables encircling it and booths along the walls.

Nabiki eyed the crowd. There were a lot of couples, and they were all women. Aside from two members of the band, she didn't see any men. "Girls only?" she asked.

"That's the idea," Kaida replied.

They found a booth. Kaida slid in beside Nabiki, placing her arm about her shoulders. It would have been an expected move if her date was a guy, but Nabiki was caught off guard. She felt like she wasn't in control of the situation, which always made her uncomfortable. With a man, she knew how to take control of the date while letting _him_ feel like he was making the decisions. With Kaida, she was still trying to figure out how to do that. It wasn't quite as simple as 'Nabiki is the girl, Kaida is the guy', was it?

She slid her own arm about Kaida and leaned against her. Then, impulsively, she turned Kaida's face to her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. The surprise in Kaida's eyes assured Nabiki that it had been the right move.

XXX

_"My Black Lightning!" _Rin yelled. The sound of the bike landing on its side got the attention of everyone in the cafe. Rin was up and out the front door before Akela and Akane could even react.

"Damn it!" Akela yelled, springing after her. "Wait up!"

There were six of them -- boys in jeans and leather with dyed or shocked-up hair. One of them was Tamotsu Hara -- the idiot with the Kawasaki Ninja that Rin had outraced earlier. One of the thugs grabbed Rin's arm and spun her about. He held her in a headlock and then drug her to the ground.

Akela flew through the restaurant door. Two of the boys moved to block her. She punched the first one. As he flew back, she spun with a high kick. Her boot connected with the second thug's chin.

The other three thugs jumped her, pinning her to the ground. Akela struggled, but they held her fast.

Hara stood and dusted himself off. "Aw, how sweet," he said, staring down at the two girls. "Your little lezzie girlfriend ran out to save you. Too bad she's only a girl and don't know how to take on a _real _man. Stupid yuri."

He kicked Akela viciously in the side.

In the next moment, Akane's tennis shoe landed squarely in his face. He stumbled backwards, blood spurting from his nose. Akane followed, delivering a punch to the chest. He stumbled, eyes wide, then collapsed to the street, unconscious.

Akane spun about, nailing one of two thugs coming up behind her with a roundhouse kick. She slammed the second one in the stomach with both fists. Both went down, groaning.

The one holding Rin and one of those holding Akela jumped up to face Akane. She sent one flying with another kick, then spun to block a punch from the other. She went low, sweeping his feet out from under him, then popped up and punched straight down. The thug rolled to the side and Akane's punch missed. Concrete shattered where her fist impacted with the pavement.

By this point Akela had thrown the remaining thug trying to hold her. She stood and roundhouse kicked him into the side of the restaurant. He groaned and collapsed to the street.

The remaining thug scrambled to his feet, took one look at Akane and Akela, and ran.

"Yeah, go on and run, you cowards!" Akane yelled out. She turned back and muttered vehemently. "Boys are jerks!"

"I couldn't agree more," Akela replied.

The others were groaning and getting to their feet. One of them was trying to get Hara, up. He was muttering and cursing under his breath.

"What's the matter?" Akane called out. "He can't take a little punch from a little girl? I got more where that came from."

Hara coughed up blood. "Kami! What did you _do_ to him?" the one helping him yelled. "I think you broke some ribs!"

Akane shrugged. "I hit him with about 90 punches," she said.

"Get real, bitch," the thug sneered. "I saw you. You only hit him once."

Akane held up her fist. "90 punches," she said, "in one second. I'm not nearly as fast as Ranma, but I can do it again if you like."

The thug showed no interest in continuing the fight. "Stay away from me, you crazy yuri!" he yelled. With one arm around his friend, he and the other limped away.

Akane let her breath slowly out. The fight had been over much too fast. She was used to fights that lasted fifteen or thirty minutes, with opponents that could take a brutal pounding and shrug it off like rainwater.

She realized Rin was crying.

"Rin?" she asked, concerned. "Are you okay?"

"N-no," Rin stammered. "He messed my baby up."

"Your baby?" Akane blinked. Rin was kneeling beside the Black Lightning. She'd picked it back up and was now inspecting it carefully. "Oh... well, it's just a bike."

"It is not just a bike. Akane, this is a vintage 1952 Vincent Black Lightning!"

"Yes, I know," Akane said. "It's expensive. At least _you_ weren't hurt."

"It's more than just expensive," Kaida said. "Only 31 were ever made. These bikes are incredibly rare and valuable."

Akane threw up her hands. "Rin, if it's _that_ rare, then why the heck are your taking it out for an afternoon ride? And _racing_ it?"

Rin sighed. "It's a racing bike, Akane. It's _meant_ to be ridden. You can't just lock it up in a museum."

"And yet, I _do_ believe that's where your father was keeping it," Akela said. "Am I right?"

Rin just nodded.

"How bad is it?" Akela asked.

"Well, the clutch is bent," Rin said. "It's all scratched up too. I don't think anything else is wrong, though. I should be able to ride it back."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Akane suggested.

"It doesn't really matter," Rin said. "This is Dad's baby. Even a single scratch would be enough to send him through the roof. He doesn't know I even took it. I am so completely and utterly screwed."

"Well," Akela said, "you've got no one to blame but yourself, you know."

"Bitch," Rin replied. Akane blinked in surprise, before realizing there wasn't a lot of venom in the retort.

Rin continued to go over her bike carefully, checking everything. "Mikio Arakaki can be a jerk, but he respects good racing equipment. He would _never _damage a Black Lightning like this. Never."

"Who?" Akane asked.

"Hara's cousin," Rin said. "The one I beat in my last race. That's how this all started, remember?"

Akane nodded. Rin stood and sighed. "I'm going to tell Arakaki all about this, too. He won't be happy to hear how much trouble his idiot cousin is making for him." She grinned ruefully and added, "Well, what's done is done. Did we still want to do the hot springs? Because after this, I could really use a relaxing soak...."

XXX

Nabiki and Kaida danced. It was awkward for Nabiki at first, dancing with another girl, but Kaida led and Nabiki adjusted. She _did_ pride herself on being adaptable, after all – you couldn't make money if you didn't know how to adjust to any situation that might arise. She had to admit that Miss Genji was an _exceptionally_ beautiful girl, and sophisticated when she chose to be. If you were going to date another girl, then Nabiki reasoned you could hardly find one better than Kaida.

_Especially_ when you considered how much her family was worth. Nabiki had a _very_ good idea how high that figure was.

A live band was playing light jazz. Kaida's hand on her back felt good. The silk dress felt good -- all the moreso because Nabiki knew it had cost money. The exclusive restaurant was perfect, not because of the music or setting or because it catered to girls only, but because it was _exclusive_, and no doubt expensive. Nabiki couldn't help herself. Money was the thing that turned her on most.

"Tell me, Kaida, are you an only child?" Nabiki asked.

Kaida grinned. "I have two older brothers," she said. "The eldest brother will of course inherit the family corporation in due time. The younger brother married the daughter of another very influential family. My parents do not care that I never intend to marry a man and have no real interest in the family business. They know full well that I'm only interested in other girls. Oh, but don't worry for me though, I _do _own a small share in the business of my own, so I'll _always_ have enough money to do whatever I want!"

Nabiki smiled. That answer satisfied her.

"Recognize this song?" Kaida asked. Nabiki shook her head. The tune wasn't familiar, and the lyrics were in English. "It's an old Aretha Franklin tune," Kaida said. "It's called 'I Never Loved A Man (The Way I Love You)'"

Nabiki had to laugh. Just what was she getting herself into?

After nearly two hours at the club, Kaida summoned the limo and they moved on to an equally exclusive (and expensive) restaurant. Nabiki had to admit that no date with a guy had ever been this nice. She was having fun.

It was the best dinner Nabiki had ever had. Considering how well Kasumi cooked, that was saying a lot – but then, Nabiki found that a high price tag was an added spice that her sister's cooking simply couldn't match. She'd tried several things that she'd only _dreamed_ of eating before, and they were every bit as tasty as she had imagined.

Nabiki and Kaida lingered long over their dinner just talking, in a way that Nabiki had never been able to do with a male date. Kaida, despite her playgirl attitude towards life, was an _exceptionally_ smart girl – sharp enough to match wits with Nabiki. That was refreshing. It also disturbed Nabiki a little. Was she_ that_ shallow, that she enjoyed being with Kaida so? She'd never found the same sex attractive before now. Did it only take money, beauty, and brains to win her over so easily?

Then again, could she ever hope to find that combination in a man who was interested in her? _Money, brains, and beauty,_ Nabiki thought, _and here I'm questioning my good luck? What more could I want?_

_ Other than broad shoulders, a muscular chest, a deep voice and five more inches in height?_ Another part of her mind answered.

_All of which describes Tatewaki Kuno, and am I even slightly attracted to that idiot? No, of course not._

Nabiki had always planned to marry someone rich, if she could possibly manage it. She'd never dreamed that it might be another girl, but now she was considering the possibility.

She was still lost in thought as the limo drove them home. She was also feeling tired after a long day, and leaned against Kaida in the back of the limo. She told herself that it felt nice, and it _did,_ actually – but it was a _different_ kind of nice. It would take getting used to.

She was somewhat confused when they pulled up in front of Uchan's. _That's right_, she reminded herself. _I live here now._

Kaida got out and walked with her to the front door. "Did you have fun tonight?" Kaida asked.

"Yes, I did, actually," Nabiki replied.

"Good, because I did too." Kaida took Nabiki's hands in hers and looked her in the eyes. "Do I get a good night kiss, then?"

Nabiki considered for just a moment asking for money in exchange for the kiss. But it _was_ true that she'd enjoyed the date. Kaida had spent a lot of money on her, what with moving, the dress, the club and the dinner. She probably deserved at least a kiss in return.

Nabiki leaned in and closed her eyes. The kiss was longer than she had expected – and much better, too. She could feel tingles down her spin. That confused her; no simple kiss had _ever_ felt like that before.

"Wow," Kaida said. "That was nice, Nabiki."

Nabiki smiled. "I thought so too. Maybe we could do it again sometime?"

"I'd like that," Kaida replied. For a long moment Kaida stood there saying nothing. She seemed nervous. That surprised Nabiki -- for the first time since they'd met, Kaida seemed unsure of herself.

"Listen, Nabiki, this may be a bit forward of me, but... I really _do_ like you. How would you like to be my steady girlfriend?"

Nabiki blinked in surprise. After a moment, her old instincts kicked in. She arched an eyebrow. "What's in it for me?" she asked.

Kaida just laughed. "Always the mercenary girl, eh, Nabiki? I _knew_ you would ask that," she said. "As a matter of fact, I've come prepared...."

She pulled her wallet out of her purse and produced a credit card, which she handed over. Nabiki was surprised to see that the name on it was her own.

"This is a debit card," Kaida said. "It's linked to a checking account set up in your name. I've placed 200,000 yen in it to start with. For every week that you remain my girlfriend, I'll have 100,000 yen deposited into the account."

Nabiki froze. "Kaida," she said, "are you trying to _bribe _me into being your girlfriend?"

Kaida laughed again. "Perhaps I am," she said. "Am I succeeding?"

"I... I'm not sure what to say...." Nabiki began.

"How about 'Yes'?" Kaida suggested. "You might even try, 'Yes, my love,' or 'Yes, my beautiful Kaida, the love of my life'." Nabiki regarded her with a cool stare, and Kaida added, "If it bothers you to think of it as a bribe, then instead let's call it an allowance. I want my girlfriend to look her best at all times, after all."

Nabiki leaned in and gave Kaida another long kiss. When she finally pulled back, she smiled and said, "How's that for an answer, my Princess Charming?"

Kaida touched a finger to her lips. "Wow," she said. "I think I'd better go, before I do something that I really shouldn't on a first date...."

Before Kaida got back into the limo, she added, "Oh, Nabiki, one other thing."

"Yes?"

"I love the long hair. Please don't ever cut it."

XXX

Steam filled the room. Sounds echoed off tiled walls. Akane sank into hot water up to her neck and sighed. "Oooh, that feels _so_ good," she said.

Akela sat opposit her. Rin hadn't entered the bath yet; she was talking to her father on the phone. Akane could _just_ make out her end of the conversation.

"Yes, Father. No, Father. Yes, I know it's priceless. Yes, I know how many are still in existence. It's just scratched, Father. The clutch is a bit bent. I'll work on it tomorrow. It'll be as good as new, you'll see.

"Suspended? Seriously? But... who's going to ride then?

"Father, be serious. He's a nice guy, but he's not good enough yet."

There was a long pause. Rin said, "Father, a bike like that _begs _to be driven. It's been cooped up in warehouses and museums. It wanted to be let out, at least for one day. No, I wasn't going to wreck it. You trust me, don't you? Yes, I know. You taught me everything I know.

"No, I won't tell Mother. She worries too much.

"It rides beautiful, Father. It's an amazing bike. Have you never ridden it?

"That's what I _thought_. You'd never buy a bike and not ride it at least once, would you?

"We'll be back by Nine. Ten at the latest. See you then, Father."

Rin put the phone away and padded over to the bath. As she sank in, Akela asked, "You're suspended?"

Rin nodded. "But that's an empty threat. I'm his best rider. If I miss this next race, I could drop out of third in the point standings. He can't afford to replace me. He'll leave me suspended until Saturday morning, then reinstate me after I've done some sort of penance to prove myself."

She leaned back and closed her eyes. For a moment the three were silent. "Damn, this feels good," she said.

Akane nodded. "Thanks for bringing me here, guys. Aside from the fight, this has been fun." She giggled and added, "Well, the fight was kinda fun, too. Maybe Ranma's attitude is rubbing off on me, but when I'm in a fight like that I really feel alive, you know?"

"No need to thank us, Akane," Rin said. "Without you we'd be in serious trouble. You were amazing!"

"Nah," Akane said. "I hit him too hard. I'm sure I broke some ribs. I lost control."

"So?" Akela said. "The creep deserved it."

"You misunderstand," Akane replied. "I don't particularly care about him. I care about my own control." She held up her fist. "I can _kill_ with this. That's not normal. I can smash concrete. It takes an ability to focus your chi, and years of practice. With Ranma's help, I'm getting better, but what I've always lacked is control. _Ranma_ wouldn't break a guy's ribs unless she _intended_ to do so."

She smiled. "That's Ranma's true secret, you know. She almost never goes all-out in a fight. When she _does_, she's truly scary."

"Like that tornado thing yesterday," Akela said. Rin raised an eyebrow. Since she raced on Saturdays she hadn't seen any of the bizarre challenge between Ranma and Kodachi.

"The Dragon's Heaven Blast, yeah," Akane agreed. "I don't know if I can ever manage that one. That takes a _lot_ of control. All I got is brute strength." She laughed bitterly. "I used to complain to Ranma that _I was a martial artist, too_. What a joke. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I have left to learn."

"You're being way too hard on yourself, Akane," Rin said. "What you did today was incredible!"

Akane shook her head. "No, not really."

"Are you kidding? I used to think Akela was good, but you... you must be one of the best martial artists in all of Japan!"

"Ranma is much _much_ better," Akane said.

"Well, yes, I realize she probably is, but...."

Akane said, "No offense, Rin, but you weren't even at the big fight yesterday, were you? See, I used to think _I_ was a great martial artist, too. Then Ranma showed up, and she was way better. Then Ryoga showed up... _he_ was way better, too."

"We saw him fight Thursday," Rin replied. "He _was_ good."

"And then Ukyo and Shampoo showed up, and – I hate to admit it, but – _they_ were better than me. Ranma's dad may be a lazy good-for-nothing freeloading idiot, but he's still a _very _good martial artist. Even my dad's pretty impressive when he actually bothers to be. Oh, can't forget Tofu-Sensei, I've never sparred against him or even watched him fight, but I have no reason to think he wouldn't wipe the floor with me. Cologne and Happosai? Please, those two are off the charts. Mousse? I don't know, he's not as strong as Ranma, or Ryoga, or Shampoo, but still, _I _certainly don't want to face him. He's got a million weapons hidden up his sleeves, and they're all sharp and deadly! Then there's all the weirdos that occasionally come by, like... oh, Tarou, for example, he's _incredibly _dangerous, he even makes _Ranma_ work...."

Rin blinked in surprise. "You know that many people who are better than you? Seriously?"

Akane nodded. "Yes, of course."

"But..." Rin continued, "wouldn't these people you're talking about be some of the most powerful martial artists in all of Japan?"

"They _are_," Akane replied without hesitation. "Some of the most powerful martial artists in China too, actually. Maybe even the world – _Ranma _certainly thinks he is. _Tarou _does too, for that matter; he's truly insufferable, and I thought _Ranma_ had an ego. Cologne and Happy _have _to be among the world's best, no question. So?"

" Don't you get it?" Rin exclaimed. "_You_, Akane, can go head to head with some of the world's most powerful martial artists. Don't you realize what that means? You might not be as good as they are, but you're clearly in the top 10% in all of Japan. Maybe even the top 5%."

Akane frowned. "Well, I guess that _might _be true. I never actually thought of it like that...."

"What about Kodachi?" Rin asked.

"What about her?" Akane asked. "I mean, she's okay and all, but I've fought her a few times. She's nothing special."

"Akane, she's probably the most powerful martial artist at our school," Rin said. "At least, before you guys showed up. She's gone head to head with Shizuko Satori on several occasions and she usually wins."

Akane laughed. "And? I've seen Shizuko fight; she isn't that good."

"She's one of the best kendoists in Tokyo," Akela said.

"I've seen better," Akane replied. "Kodachi's brother is better, for one. Anyway, it's kind of pathetic, isn't it? Having her body guards line up against her, just to prove how tough she is? When _I _was doing that, it was because I didn't have any other choice!"

"When you were doing what?" Rin asked.

"Oh, I guess you wouldn't know," Akane said. "Before Ranma showed up I used to fight half of the male population of my school every morning before I could make it to class. That's why Shizuko does her thing every morning, I guess; she heard about me."

Rin stared at Akane, open-mouthed. "What?" Akane asked.

"_Half_ the male population?" Rin repeated. Akela grinned.

"Yeah," Akane said. "I mean, it wasn't hard. Most of them weren't what you'd call martial artists, or even very good fighters. Upperclassman Kuno – Kodachi's brother – _he _was good, of course, but I always managed to beat him anyway. I think that maybe he went easy on me."

Rin held up her hands, laughing. "Okay, I take it all back! You were right."

Akane looked confused. "Right about what?"

"You don't need leather boots or a leather jacket to look bad-ass," Rin said. "You _are_ bad-ass, Akane!"

The girls sat in silence for several minutes. Then Rin said, "Next time, I think next I'll borrow Dad's Brough Superior. Or maybe his 1928 Indian Scout."

"Rin!" Akela growled. "S_top riding your dad's most collectible bikes._ Haven't you learned anything?"

"But, Akela," Rin whined, "they're_ racing_ bikes... they _want_ to be driven...."

XXX

In Harajuku, a gothic lolita girl did battle with a green feathered serpent. Her mane of curly red hair bounced and tossed about as she danced and spun in circles about the snake. Yellow-green goop covered everything in the area, and at least a dozen people were trapped by the hardening silk-like spit.

"Stupid snake!" Ranma yelled. "Stop spitting at everything and fight me for real!"

"Ssstop dodging my attacksss," the snake demon hissed. "Mortal, you cannot hope to defeat one sssuch asss me.... ooof!"

Ranma's foot collided with the snake's skull. The creature skidded and bounced across the pavement.

"You should've remained smoke instead of solidifying," Ranma growled. "Anything physical is something I can punch!"

There was scattered clapping from the crowd. At least a portion of those watching seemed to think the demon vs. lolita girl was nothing more than incredibly good Harajuku street theater.

"Your feeble punchesss do not harm me," the snake replied. It righted itself and lashed out again.

"Oh yeah?" Ranma yelled, twisting to avoid the snake's fangs. "Then try this on for size, you overgrown worn!"

Ranma struck the snake in the jaw. Although those watching didn't realize it, Ranma used her incredible speed to punch the creature hundreds of times in the same spot, all in the span of less than a second. The snake hissed and recoiled in pain.

However, the demon was far from beaten. It continued to coil and strike, and to spit web-like goo that pinned people to benches, lamp posts, the railing of the nearby bridge, and each other. So far Ranma had managed to avoid all of it, but one mistake could be fatal – not just for her, but for many others in the area. Ranma wanted to finish the fight quickly, but the demon serpent – which clearly _was_ hurting from Ranma's many blows – was working hard to stay out of Ranma's range, It seemed perfectly content to dart about and spit yellow mucus in the hopes of finally nailing her.

"Attacking from range?" Ranma growled. "Well, _two _can play that game." She glanced over her shoulder and yelled, "Miyuki! Are you filming this?"

"Of course!" Miyuki yelled back.

"Good," Ranma said. "Let me give you something worth watching, then!" Bringing her hands together, Ranma yelled out, "Moku Takabisha!"

A massive ball of chi shot out from her palms, engulfing the serpent. The creature was blown into the wall of a nearby building. Cement and cinder blocks rained down upon it.

The creature rose from the rubble slowly. "Hissss! No mortal hasss given me sssuch trouble in two hundred yearsss!"

"Yeah, like I haven't heard that line before," Ranma retorted. She brought her palms together again. "Moku Takabisha!"

This time the creature was stunned. It lay on the ground, staring at Ranma stupidly.

"Ranma!" Sayuri called out. "There's a priest here!"

Ranma turned to see a bespectacled, middle-aged man in Buddhist robes. His eyes were wide. "Oh, my! Is that a _real_ demon?" he asked.

"You got it," Ranma replied. "You know how to seal it away?"

"Ah... I t-think I know how," the priest replied. "That is... I've never done it before, but I've studied the texts...." He glanced wildly about. ""J-just hold the demon still, if you can. I need something to bind it into...."

"Yeah, well, the charm it _was_ sealed in got shattered," Ranma said. "I'd use something besides glass...."

Ranma leaped on top of the groggy serpent. She grabbed the tail. Seconds later she'd tied the creature into a knot.

"That should hold it, for the moment," Ranma said. "Alright priest! Do your thing!"

The priest began to chant. His voice seemed to echo and double and quadruple, so that in seconds it sounded like an army of chanting monks, rather than just the one. The sky darkened. The very air felt somehow slick, almost greasy. An acrid odor tickled Ranma's nose.

The serpent began to writhe in pain. "No Nooooooo!" it hissed. "I ssshall not be confined again...."

And then, with a sort of sucking sound, the feathered serpent was drawn to the object held in the priest's hands. There was a loud "pop" and the chanting stopped. The sky was clear. It was once again a sunny Sunday afternoon.

"There," the priest said. "It is done."

A roar went up from the crowd. They cheered as if they'd just watched an amazing movie stunt.

Ranma noticed that all of the sticky, web-like stuff the demon had spit out had faded, and those that had been trapped were instantly freed. She glanced at the priest. "Good job," she said, and paused.

Ranma's gazed fell to the object in the priest's hands.

"You... ah... sealed a demon away in a Hello Kitty plush doll?" she asked.

The priest looked embarrassed. "Forgive me, but it was the only thing at hand," he said. "Had I known I would be sealing a demon away today I might have been more prepared...."

The doll's eyes flashed. "Release me from this prison, foul mortal, that I may feast on your bones!"

"Oh, my," the priest exclaimed.

"I don't think that thing's _completely_ sealed," Ranma added.

"It talks!" Miyuki said. "Neat! Can I keep it?"

"No!" Ranma and the priest said in unison.

XXX

Uchan's was dark and quiet. The stairs creaked softly as Nabiki climbed them to her new room.

She was feeling uncharacteristically out of sorts and not in control of her life. This was _not_ simply because she'd just agreed -- had been bribed, even -- to become the girlfriend of another girl. No, partly it was also the new location. She'd never known any other home but her father's house in Nerima; living somewhere else would take some getting used to.

She was also unsettled by being in a new school – she'd only been there two days and it would take time to establish the sort of information networks that would make her feel comfortable and in control.

And then, there was her new job, which would also take some getting used to. Oddly enough, for someone who had never worked hard at anything in her life, she _really_ wanted to do well as Uchan's new hostess. She felt she had something to prove to herself, that she _could_ make it on her own if need be. Her deal with Kaida didn't change that.

Of course, there _was_ the thing with Kaida. Where it might ultimately lead, she wasn't sure. Kaida struck her as a sort of playgirl, who changed girlfriends frequently. Nabiki would have to find a way to milk the situation for whatever she could.

Ukyo was already asleep. So was Konatsu, or so Nabiki thought, but when she entered her room she found someone seated at the foot of her bed. She also realized that her bedroom looked normal – that is, all of the boxes had been unpacked and her things put away.

"Konatsu?" she asked.

"Yes, Miss Tendo?" the ninja boy/girl replied.

"Did you do this?"

Konatsu stood. "I thought you would want to come home to a bed that was ready to sleep in," he said. "You have school in the morning and won't have time to unpack."

"That's true," Nabiki replied. "Thank you, Konatsu."

Konatsu grinned. "So," he said, "tell me what it was like!"

"My date?" Nabiki asked.

"Oh, yes!" the kunoichi said. . He sat down and patted the bed beside him. "Come, sit. I want to hear _all _about it. Give me all the juicy details!"

Nabiki had to laugh. She reminded herself that, if it came to bathing together, Konatsu was a boy, but in everything else he was 100% girl.

"Well," Nabiki began, "it seems I have a steady girlfriend...."

XXX

Akane got home late. Ranma was sitting on the living room couch, dressed in her pajamas. There were cookies and tea on the table. The room was dark, save for the television glow and a lit sandalwood candle.

Akane flopped down next to Ranma. "Mad Max?" she asked.

"Yeah," Ranma said. "There's leftovers in the fridge, if you want 'em. How was your trip?"

"Very eventful," Akane replied. "I'm exhausted." After a moment, she asked, "Did you have fun in Harajuku?"

"No." Ranma made a face. "Dressing up and posing for pictures? Not my thing. Miyuki and Sayuri had fun, though."

"That's nice," Akane said. "At least you were a good sport about it and didn't spoil their fun."

Akane reached into her bag and removed a box. "Here," she said. "I got you something."

Ranma blinked in surprise. She opened it and peered in.

"A bear in a dress," Ranma said, pulling it out. She stared at it a moment as if not sure what to do with it. "It's... cute."

Akane giggled. "It's for your collection, you know," she said. "Remember? You want to look like a _real _girl, right?"

"Well, at least it's not demonically possessed," Ranma said.

Akane's face instantly darkened. "And just what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It's a long story, Akane," Ranma said. "I'll tell you later. First, I've got something for you, too."

Ranma got up and ran to their bedroom. Akane poured herself some tea and bit into a cookie. Ranma reappeared with a bundle of something in her arms. She laid it out on the couch for Akane to see.

Akane blinked in surprise. It was a blue cotton jumper dress and a white knit top with a print pattern of little black pigs. There were even matching socks with a similar black pig print.

"Wow, Ranma," Akane said. "That's... that's really cute. Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

Akane looked Ranma in the eyes. "So tell me the truth. Sayuri helped you pick this out, didn't she?"

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "You don't think I could have picked it out myself?"

"Let's just say that I know how much you like to shop," Akane said. "Not at all, in other words."

Ranma laughed. "Ain't _that_ the truth. Sayuri helped, and Miyuki too. In fact Miyuki helped pay for it. Tomari was with us too but she pretty much just watched."

"Well, it's very nice, Ranma," Akane said. "Thank you."

Akane took the outfit to her bedroom, then returned to sit and sip her tea. The movie ended. The late news came on. "Our top story," the news anchor said, "In Harajuku today, a girl in a gothic lolita dress was seen battling some sort of Mesopotamian snake creature... we could not verify that this was anything more than a special-effects stunt, but we have some amazing footage that was filmed live earlier today...."

Akane watched the video footage. She glanced at Ranma. "Wow. Looks like you had an interesting day too."

"Nah, not really," Ranma replied. "Aside from the snake thing it was pretty boring."

XXX

Late in the evening Soun Tendo sat on his porch, sipping his tea and staring West at the setting sun. The sky was lit in brilliant shades of orange, red, and violet. Nearby sat his shoji board, untouched for many days.

Soun sighed. It had been quiet these past few days -- peaceful and boring. Kasumi was in the kitchen cleaning. Ranma was gone. Genma was gone. Akane was gone. Now even Nabiki was gone. The house felt practically _empty_. Soun found himself actually looking forward to the return of the Master. _That_ was never a good thing.

Even before the Saotomes had come, the house had been full of life. He missed the sound of Akane's voice, the pounding of her feet as she ran up the stairs, the soft patter of pulverized brick dust raining down on the roof. He even missed the sound of her screaming at Ranma.

A large shadow slipped over the wall and across the lawn, almost imperceptible to senses less keen than Soun's. A moment later, someone sat down on the engawa near him.

Soun raised an eyebrow. "Good evening, friend Saotome. It's been a while." He took another sip of tea.

"That it has, friend Tendo," Genma Saotome replied.

"No doubt you've been out training hard to work out your frustrations over recent developments, and to hone your skills even more."

"I.." Genma began. "I... yes, that's it. That's exactly what I've been doing. Of course. Working out and honing my skills."

"And you've worked out a new plan to salvage the union of our two houses, which dangles by a mere thread over the pit of certain failure and calamity," Soun added.

"Tendo, you took the words right out of my mouth," Genma replied.

Soun Tendo nodded slowly. "Go on, Saotome," he said. "I'm listening."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

A week passed, and then another. Things settled into a routine. It began to feel normal for Ranma, Akane, Nabiki, Ukyo and Shampoo to be attending an exclusive Catholic school for girls.

On an early Thursday morning Ranma and Akane arrived at school over an hour before class, as they had been doing for the last two weeks. They slipped into the gymnasium and headed for the locker rooms to change into their workout gear. With _The Anything Goes Magical Loligoth Cupcake Girl Appreciation Society _an official club with thirteen members, they'd been allowed a practice room alongside the kendo, judo and karate clubs.

Yoriko Taoka, with straight black hair to her waist, was waiting for them. Dressed in a jet black gi, she leaned against the wall near the locker entrance, smoking a cigarette and scowling.

"No smoking in school," Ranma said.

"And you're going to report me?" the girl replied. "No, of course not."

"I'm your sensei," Ranma replied. "No student of mine is going to ruin her lungs just to look cool."

"Sensei, huh?" The girl smiled thinly. "You have permission to teach from your school's master, then?"

"I'm not teaching you my family style," Ranma said. "I'm just teaching self defense. Right?"

"Yeah, right, _Sensei_." Yoriko continued to scowl, but tossed the cigarette to the floor. "Very well. I'll just smoke where you can't see me."

"Better not let me catch you then," Ranma said, heading into the locker room.

"Honestly, I don't know why you put up with that girl," Akane said as they changed. "She's a thug, pure and simple. _Literally_ a thug, Ranma, since her father is yakuza."

"She's a good student," Ranma replied, stepping out of her skirt. She removed her blouse, and slipped into her current workout uniform – a sexy, body-hugging ninja-like outfit of lavender silk with a violet iris flower pattern..

"I can't believe you're still wearing that," Akane said, dressing in her usual yellow karate gi.

Ranma shrugged. "Why not? You helped pick it out for me."

"Only as a joke," Akane replied. "Miyuki was all over it, saying how great you'd look in it. I just encouraged her a little. I never thought you'd actually like it."

"But I do," Ranma said. "It's comfortable, and feminine. Rei would approve." She checked herself out in a mirror. Her hands strayed to her hair. "Akane, when are we supposed to get our hair permed again?"

"Not for two more weeks, at least," Akane replied. "You have to wait at least a month between perms. Six weeks would be even better. Perming it too often can make it brittle and ruin it." Akane smiled and added, "Think of it this way: if we wait six weeks, then by that time your mother may allow you to turn back to a guy when you're not in school."

Ranma's eyes widened. "Ancestors, I almost forgot about that." Then she shrugged. "If that happens, then that's good, but I can't count on it. Who knows _what _Mom will decide when that time comes? I have to assume that I'll be a girl for the next two years.

"Besides," Ranma added, "it's looking a little ratty."

"We probably just need a trim and touchup then," Akane said. "Want me to schedule an appointment for after school?" She pulled out her cell phone. "It would only take a second...."

Ranma nodded. "That sounds good, Akane. Thanks."

Yoriko joined the two girls in the practice room, where they warmed up with a few kata. "Isn't Akela here yet?" Ranma asked.

"She's late," Akane said.

Ranma began to spar with Yoriko. Anyone watching could have seen that the redhead was going easy on the black-haired girl.

"So,_ Sensei,_" Yoriko said, somehow making the honorific sound like an insult, "when are you going to teach me that chi blast of yours? The Moku Takabisha?"

"When you can tag me at least once in practice, then we'll talk about it." Ranma grinned. "You're not even nearly ready enough, Yoriko. It takes a very good mastery of chi. Even Akane is only just starting to learn."

Yoriko's eyebrows went up. "Oh? You're teaching her?"

"I'll probably never be able to do Ranma's exact move," Akane said. "I don't have the overwhelming ego needed."

"Not ego," Ranma said. "Confidence."

"Exactly," Akane continued. "Nor could I learn Ryoga's Shishi Hokodan. I'm never_ that_ depressed." She frowned, and added, "That poor boy's got some serious issues. Anyway, Ranma thinks I can develop my own chi blast, based on the emotions that I have the best access to....."

"Anger," Ranma added.

Akane's eyes flashed. "Yeah, so I get angry easily. Is that a crime?"

Yoriko laughed. "That's gonna work for you, Akane, I know it. But what about me then?"

"I don't know," Ranma replied. She seemed to consider the problem. "Maybe you could develop a chi blast based on acting terminally cool and disinterested?"

"Funny, Saotome." Yoriko tried yet another lunging attack, which Ranma evaded easily.

"So, Yoriko," Ranma asked, "when are you going to attend any of our regular meetings?"

"When hell freezes over," the girl replied. "You _know _I only joined this stupid club of yours because you refused to teach me otherwise. Aside from training with you, I have no interest in anything you girls do."

She smiled cruelly and added, "When is Miyuki going to dress you up like little girls? I know she's planning to."

Ranma laughed. "She's designing outfits for everyone, so she says, but she's really busy. She's even designing one for you too."

The yakuza girl scowled. "Why? I won't wear it."

"It doesn't matter. Nabiki, Kaida, and Rin said the same thing, but they're getting outfits anyway." Ranma giggled and added, "Maybe I'll teach you a chi blast move if you dress up for Miyuki. What do you say to that?"

"Not gonna happen," Yoriko replied.

The door to the practice room slid open, but instead of Akela they saw a Chinese girl with long purple hair.

"Nihao, Ranma! Nihao Akane!"

"Nihao, Shampoo!" Ranma called back. In very halting Chinese, she added, "(Is no old woman today?)"

"(Grandmother apologizes profusely, but she has a very large supply shipment due in this morning so she could not come,)" Shampoo replied. "(In her place, we have the honorable ogre butler Mr. Khan.)"

The tall, muscular Honda family butler stepped inside. Mr. Khan bowed. "Good morning, Miss Saotome, Miss Tendo, Miss Taoka. How are you all doing today?"

Just then came the sound of feet running across the basketball court. Akela appeared, out of breath. "Sorry, sorry," she said. "I apologize for being late! Please forgive me!"

Ranma glared at her for a moment. "I forgive you, Akela," she said. "However, I think I'll have you spar with Mr. Khan today...."

Akela's face fell. "Khan? But he hits _hard_...."

XXX

Nabiki stood in her room, part of the apartments upstairs from Uchan's restaurant, and stared at the large pile of clothes on the floor.

"Ukyo," she called out. "When do you do laundry around here?"

Ukyo was going over the restaurant balance sheets in her room. She grimaced at the tone in her roommate's voice. In the two weeks since the Tendo girl had moved in, one thing Ukyo had learned was that, come early morning, Nabiki was _always_ in a bad mood. "A couple of times a week," she called out. "Why?"

Nabiki Tendo folded her arms and continued to scowl at the floor. "Because," she said, "the pile of dirty clothes in here grows bigger every day. They're not getting clean just sitting there. I know that my wardrobe keeps expanding thanks to my fabulously rich girlfriend, but I can't keep throwing stuff on the floor forever."

"Then perhaps you should wash them?" Ukyo suggested.

Nabiki's eye twitched. "Moi? Do laundry?"

Ukyo rolled her eyes.

"I hate to be the one to break the news to you, Nabs, but the laundry fairies don't visit my house. You'll have to solve the problem on your own."

Nabiki's frown deepened. "Lovely," she muttered. Then she brightened. "Maybe I should invite my older sister over to visit. Or – wait! I _bet_ Kaida will pay for someone to come do it, if I ask her nicely enough!"

"Ancestors, Nabiki, has Kasumi's always cleaned up after you? She's spoiled you, you know. Anyway, you should have considered this before you moved out."

"It's certainly a detail which I overlooked, yes," said Nabiki. She sighed. "Well okay then, I guess it's time I learn. Can you tell me how it works?"

Ukyo gripped her pencil tightly enough to snap it in two. "Nabiki, I _don't _have the time to explain the basics of laundry to you. I'm trying to figure out if we can hire another waitress yet. Why don't you go ask Konatsu?"

Nabiki's face brightened instantly. She snapped her fingers. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that?"

She skipped downstairs, where the ninja boy/girl was scrubbing the kitchen floor and humming to himself.

"Kontatsu," Nabiki said. "Have I got a deal for you!"

Konatsu turned and knelt before her. "Good morning, Mistress Nabiki! How may I be of service?"

Nabiki pulled something from her pocket and held it up. "Do you see this five yen coin? I'll give you one every week if you clean my room, make my bed, and do my laundry...."

Kontasu's eyes lit up. He clapped his hands together. "A whole five yen? Mistress Nabiki, you're so generous!"

Nabiki smiled. "Yes, I know. It's a fault of mine. Now, some of my things are delicate, so please pay close attention to the laundry instruction tags...."

XXX

One advantage of practicing at school was that you could shower after. Ranma was careful to use her special Jusenkyo anti-transformation soap – these days there was nothing in her life that she was _more_ careful about – and thus was able to enjoy a nice, hot shower. By the time they arrived at class she always felt refreshed, clean, awake and alive.

Miyuki Gojo was waiting at the classroom door as usual. "Good morning, Miss Ranma!" she exclaimed. She handed over her usual bento lunch and added,. "Enjoy your day! I'll see you later!"

Ranma smiled as the younger girl ran off. There were some things about Miyuki's devotion that she found disturbing, but an extra free lunch every day wasn't one of them.

Once they were seated, their latest graded tests were handed back to them. Ranma adjusted her glasses as she stared at the results. She frowned. "Four?" she groused. "Is that all?"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Ranma, it's a miracle you can score even close to that," Akane replied. "I remember when getting Two out of Five was a major success for you."

"Those days are long gone, Akane," Ranma said. "I'm serious about school work now. If I want to beat Nabiki, then I need to be the best. A Four won't cut it."

"Then you'll just need to work harder," Akane said. "Some girls got perfect scores. But really, Ranma, you're already a better student than me, and that kind of scares me."

"How so?"

"Well, what _aren't_ you better than me at?" Akane asked.

Ranma was still searching for an answer when the teacher called class to order and started the lesson.

XXX

When lunch came, Akane begged off from eating with Ranma. "If it's okay with you, I think I'll skip lunch with the gang today," she said. "I... need to study alone."

"Why? Are you mad at me again?"

"No, Ranma, it has nothing to do with you," Akane replied patiently. "Not _everything_ revolves around you, even though sometimes it seems to. I just wanted to be alone for once."

Ranma shrugged. "If you say so."

Akane took her lunch up to the roof. She rarely came up here. Just through the door she found Yoriko smoking. The yakuza girl looked startled. She mumbled something, stubbed out her cigarette, and left quickly.

Akane frowned. "Why should I care if she smokes?" she muttered. "It's not like I'm going to run tattling to Ranma about it...." On the other hand, she wasn't really fond of the girl, and was not upset to have her gone.

Akane found one other person on the rooftop. Akela lay flat on her back, staring up into the sky. Akane smiled. Akela Leilani had become her best friend at St. Hebereke. This, despite the girl being one of the trio of lesbians that Akane had been wary of her first few days here.

"Hey Akane,"Akela said.

"Hey Akela." Akane sat with her back to the fence and unpacked her lunch.

"Eating alone today?" Akela asked.

"Sorry," Akane said, "but... I just can't deal with another day of the Nabiki and Kaida show."

"Do they bug you?"

"Yeah," Akane said. "It creeps me out, how they hang all over each other and kiss and fondle in public like that."

Akela cocked an eyebrow. "I thought you were over your same sex hang-ups."

"I am," Akane said. "Well, mostly. But it's not _that, _it's... the way they practically make out in public. The way they make a spectacle of their relationship. It wouldn't be any better if it were Nabiki and some guy. And... I can't help but think that Kaida's using Nabiki. She likes putting on a display for the world to see, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, she does," Akela agreed. "But my impression was that Nabiki was using Kaida just as much as Kaida was using her. Kaida's pays her, you know. An allowance, she calls it, but it's practically a bribe. She's done that with other girls too. Hell, she did that to _me._"

"You dated Kaida?"

"Sure," Akela said. "Rin did too. In fact, several other girls in this school did; you'd be surprised to know how many. Most of them pretend now that it was just an innocent schoolgirl crush, that they aren't actually interested in girls. How about your sister? Did your sister ever show an interest in girls before this?"

"No," Akane said. "Nor guys either. She's only ever been interested in money."

Akela laughed. "I guess they deserve each other, then."

Akane sighed. "I know, but still... it's not really the basis for a healthy relationship."

Akela considered this.

"To be honest, I don't know what _would _be the basis for a healthy relationship when it comes to Kaida. I'm not sure she's capable of such a thing. And as for Nabiki... if what you say is true then she'll _always_ be a gold digger. You'd know better than I."

"Gold digger is _one_ word for her, that's for sure," Akane said. She took several bites of lunch. "Tell me, Akela," she suddenly said. "When did you know that you were gay?"

"In junior high," Akela said. "I had a crush on another girl, and it just became obvious to me that I'd never liked boys and always liked girls. But even before that, it must have been obvious to those around me. I just didn't realize it at the time."

"Really? It was obvious before then?"

Akela nodded. "Even back in grade school. I had this friend. She told me that one day she'd be a famous martial artist, and she'd inherit her father's dojo, and we'd get married. And I said okay." Akela blushed. "Can you imagine? Two grade school girls deciding that they were going to marry? I wish I were that naive once again!"

Akane had grown suddenly very quiet. She stared at Akela intensely. "You... you did? But then... what happened to you and your friend?"

"Well, my family moved back to Hawaii. I said I'd write to her, but we lost touch."

Akane frowned. She remembered suddenly what Nabiki had told her several weeks ago:

_ Don't you remember? Your grade school friend, the girl with the dark skin. You two were inseparable._

_ I forget her name now. You two were very close. You started telling people that you were going to get married. Daddy explained why that couldn't happen, but you wouldn't accept it. You said that you didn't like boys and that you and your friend would get married one day, even though you were both girls._

_ Of course, you were only in third grade at the time. Then your friend moved away. I guess you just eventually forgot all about it_

"But you were only in third grade," Akane said, still staring off into space. "You can't read anything into what a third grader says."

"Yeah, I know." Akela paused, then added, "Akane, how did you know I was in third grade when that happened?"

Nervously, Akane said, "Ah... just a lucky guess?"

XXX

Late in the afternoon the girl's locker room was empty. The air near Ranma's locker shimmered, and then a large man in a dirty white gi stood there. He adjusted his glasses, then placed his ear to the locker and began to fiddle with the lock.

Moments later, the door was open. Genma smiled. He reached in and pulled out Ranma's practice uniform – a body-hugging lavender silk outfit decorated with purple flowers.

"No more girlish clothing for _my _son," Genma growled. The air shimmered again, and he vanished from sight.

XXX

_ The Anything Goes Magical Loligoth Cupcake Girl Appreciation Society _met in an empty room on the third floor after school. As usual, it devolved into an occasionally angry argument over what the purpose of the club really was and what club activities they should be working on.

"This again?" Ranma sighed. "Are we _ever _going to see this calendar of yours, Nabiki?"

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Are you eager to pose for it, Saotome? I rather thought you didn't like the idea."

"I don't," Ranma said. "But you talk about it constantly. When were you expecting to actually _do _something about it? If you're never going to do it, then could we stop bringing it up?"

"Ranma's right," Akane added. "Aside from you and Miyuki taking pictures and video footage of us at every turn, I haven't seen what you guys are contributing to this so-called club."

"Some of us have lives," Nabiki retorted. "I'm balancing senior year tests, a demanding job, a girlfriend...." She paused to kiss the back of Kaida's hand. Akane rolled her eyes in disgust. "It's not that I don't _want_ to get moving on this project, but my schedule is very tight."

"Same story here, Sugar," Ukyo replied. "I'm grateful for the club and all, but my time is very limited. I have a restaurant to run."

"Well, we _do_ have a tentative session scheduled at a photography studio next week," Kaida added. "I only need to know that there will be _costumes_ available, first."

"I'm _working_ on it," Miyuki said exasperatedly. "Do you know how _hard_ it is to design fourteen matching costumes in just two weeks? Even within my personal costuming budget, it's been a struggle. I only _just_ got measurements out of some of you, I'd like to add."

"_Fourteen_?" Nabiki asked. "I thought we only had thirteen members, and that's only if you count the yakuza girl, who never shows up."

"I'm designing a costume for Konatsu as well," Miyuki replied. "He doesn't go to school here, so he's not an official member, but he wanted one. Besides, he's been a great deal more cooperative than _some_ people I could name...."

"It just seems like it's taking forever," Kaida said. "I _know _that a larger part of the reason for the group's existence is for Ranma and Akane to train with Akela and Yoriko and whoever else shows up, and that's fine, but that leaves at least half of the club with no particularly good reason for being here. Rin, Nabiki, Tomari, Kohana, myself, even _you _Miyuki, our goals for the club basically revolve around costuming and photo shoots, and we haven't done _any_ of that yet."

"Why don't we just do a _swimsuit_ calendar?" Rin said. This earned her several glares from others in the room – Akane, Ukyo, but most especially from Miyuki. "Oh, come _on,_" she added. "It's not as if we aren't going to do that at some point anyway, is it? Swimsuits are easy to come by, and if Miyuki doesn't have her special outfits designed by next week...."

"Rin, it's nearly Winter!" Akane exclaimed.

Kaida smiled. "Exactly! What better time of the year to warm a girl's heart with a beautiful bevy of bikini-clad beauties...."

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Nabiki cut in, "but I'm really not sure how well a _swimsuit_ calendar is going to sell in this particular school. True, I can probably sell _thousands_ outside of the school, but...."

"Fine, fine," Miyuki said. "Tell you guys what. Tomorrow is Friday. Why don't we have a special meeting in the back room at Uchan's? I don't have _all_ of my costumes designed, but at least I can show you guys what I've got so far. Is that cool?"

Ukyo smiled. "That sounds _perfect,_" she exclaimed.

Ranma stood. "If that's all we had to discuss, then Akane and I are going to get in some afternoon practice before heading home. Akela? Anyone else?"

"Can't, Sugar," Ukyo replied. "I need to get back to the restaurant."

"Shampoo needed at Cat Cafe too."

"Same here," Nabiki added. "I'm needed at Uchan's tonight."

"I wasn't expecting _you_ to join us," Akane replied.

XXX

Akane, Akela and Ranma headed to the locker room to change. Ranma opened her locker and frowned. "Hey! Where's my outfit?"

"What outfit?" Akela asked.

"The one I use to work out," Ranma said. "I left it in here this morning. Now it's gone."

Akane stared into the depths of Ranma's locker. She shrugged. "Are you sure you didn't misplace it?"

"Of course I'm sure! It was here only this morning."

"Oh well. Use your old one," Akane said, pointing to the black silk pants and red top lying folded at the back.

"That's not the point," Ranma said, grabing her old workout clothes. "Somebody broke into my locker and stole my stuff. I want to know who."

Akane glanced into the locker again. "Your underwear's still there," she said. "That eliminates _one_ potential suspect...."

XXX

That night Akane skipped the Chinese lesson at the Cat Cafe and caught a train across town. Soon she was back in her old, familiar Nerima.

"Akane!" Kasumi exclaimed. "What are you doing here? Is Ranma with you? Nabiki? Oh, you should have called! I could have prepared a better meal...."

"Relax, Kasumi," Akane said. "I came alone. I just wanted to get a few things that I left behind last time." She paused, and added, "Tell me, do you remember a shoe box I used to have, filled with letters and keepsakes from all of my friends? I had it when I was in grade school."

Kasumi smiled. "Of course, Akane," she said. "It's up in the attic. I can show you exactly where...."

Akane dug through the box. There were knick-knacks, small figurines and some old toys – all stuff that had meant a lot to her when she was very young. There were also a lot of old letters... some from camp, some from martial artists she'd met through her dad who had later sent her postcards... there was even a love letter from a boy she'd known in fourth grade. She'd kept it, even though she'd never liked the boy and had turned him down. It was her first love letter ever.

Or was it?

Buried below this letter she found it: a sealed envelope that had been returned because of a bad address. The crude handwriting was hers, and it was addressed to Akela Leilani in Hawaii.

Akane crushed the letter to her chest. She was afraid to open it. She couldn't even remember writing it. She could barely remember Akela at all.

Of course, she'd been a little girl then. She hadn't known any better. She hadn't realized what she was saying, or why it was not exactly the most socially acceptable thing to declare your love for another girl. _ Especially _considering her family.

What she _did _remember were the rumors. She remembered the whispers behind her back. Before Ranma, Akane had been the girl who hated boys, the girl who beat up half the male population of the school every morning. Many at Furinkhan had been convinced she was a lesbian, thanks to Kuno.

_ It wasn't true_, Akane thought. _I never liked girls. I just hadn't found a boy who was half as cool as Tofu-Sensei...._

She suddenly erupted into a fit of giggles. _Well after all, Ranma really_ is_ half as cool as Tofu-Sensei... or as cool as Tofu half the time... or a cool boy half of the time... or at least, a boy half of the time and cool about half of the time that he's a boy... or something...._

She sighed. Had she really liked Akela way back when? She really couldn't remember. But it didn't matter now – Akane didn't like other girls, not in that way. Except when it came to Ranma. Akane couldn't deny that she was attracted to Ranma, no matter if Ranma was a boy or a girl.

Akane frowned. Why must her love life be so complicated?

Kasumi looked into Akane's room. "Did you find what you were looking for?" she asked.

"Yes, I did," Akane replied. "Thanks, Sis."

"Good," Kasumi said. "Dinner's ready then. Father will be overjoyed to have you eat with us."

As they walked down the hall to the stairs, Kasumi asked, "What was it you were looking for? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"No, that's okay," Akane said. "It was a declaration of love, I think – or possibly of friendship. It never got delivered. I think I finally know how to deliver it now."

"Is this about Akela Leilani?"

Akane came to a sudden stop. "H-how did you know?"

Kasumi turned and gave her sister a hug. "I'm your older sister, Akane. I know these things. Besides, I remember when it happened, and Nabiki's already told me that your best friend at St. Hebereke was Akela...."

This was an even bigger shock to Akane. "Nabiki _knew_? Why didn't she say something? Wait... she _told_ me that she didn't remember the name of my friend from back then...."

"She figured it out about a week ago," Kasumi said. "She didn't tell you because she knew you would figure it out yourself at some point." Kasumi smiled and added, "I know she doesn't always show it, but Nabiki _does_ care about you, Akane...."

XXX

Nabiki flashed her most heartwarming, I-care-very-deeply-about-you smile. "Welcome to Uchan's!" she exclaimed to the group of people at the entrance. "My name is Nabiki! How many do we have?"

"Six," one man said. "One is late."

"Well, if you'll follow me, then," Nabiki said, smiling again.

She led the group to a table then headed to the kitchen. The cook Goro was busy working the grill. "You sure do make a good hostess, Nabiki," he said.

"Oh, yes," Nabiki replied acerbically. "I can pretend to like anybody. I'm good at pretending. Maybe I should become a politician?"

Goro frowned. "You don't like this job?"

"I don't like _any _job, Goro," Nabiki said. "Unfortunately, in _this _life people have to work for a living. At least, until they're swept off their feet and married to some fabulously rich boy or girl...."

"Miss Genji is rich, isn't she?" the cook asked.

"Kaida has more money than God," Nabiki agreed. She paused, and added, "Actually, that's not true. Now Kohana and Tomari Honda, _they_ have more money than God, but neither of_ them _want to be my girlfriend. Which is just as well, since they're both a bit weird. Anyway, the difference in wealth between the two hardly matters; Kaida has enough money to do whatever she wants to. If only she were a boy she'd be _perfect._"

"Maybe you should just marry her then," the cook suggested. "Girls can marry girls if they want to, right?"

Nabiki sighed. "Yes, of course, Goro, that _is _the plan, ultimately. Unfortunately that decision is up to Kaida. As I said, she has the money to do _whatever_ she wants. I'd have her wrapped around my little finger by now, were she a boy. But she's a girl, and a very _smart_ one who likes to play the field. I'm _trying _to keep her interest, but...."

Konatsu danced into the kitchen like only a gracefully feminine _kunoichi_ could. "Six orders please, Goro!" he called out. "Two squid specials, one vegetable, two octopus, one shrimp and one Hiroshima style shrimp!"

Konatsu scooped up glasses of cold ice water and skipped back across the room to deliver them to the new customers.

"Order for table five!" Goro called out. Two okonomiyaki sailed across the restaurant floor. Kontatsu caught them expertly and delivered them to the delighted customers.

"Your waitress is _amazing_," a businessman at the bar said appreciatively.

Nabiki smiled. "Oh yes! Konatsu was trained as a kunoichi you know!"

The man's eyes lit up. "A female ninja! Really?"

"That's right!" Konatsu exclaimed, headed back into the kitchen. "Oh, but you used to study martial arts too, right Nabiki? When you were younger? Why did you quit, then?"

Nabiki's trademark smirk surfaced. "So I could sleep in, of course," she said.

"That's it?" Konatsu replied, confused. "Just because you wanted to sleep in?"

"What do you mean 'that's it?'" Nabiki retorted. "Sleeping in is everything, Konatsu. Sleeping in is heaven."

XXX

That night, as Ranma was getting ready for bed, she paused to stare at the top of her dresser.

"Hey, Akane, where's my bears?" she asked.

"Your what?"

"My stuffed bears. You know. Bruce is the karate one, the goth one is Anne, and the other one you got me in Hakone is Kimberly."

"You remember their names?" Akane asked. "I thought you completely ignored them."

"Well, I _do_," Ranma said, "but they're gone now. Who would have taken them? There's only you or Mom...."

"_I_ didn't take them, and I seriously doubt your Mom would either," Akane retorted. "Don't you think you just misplaced them somewhere?"

"But I never even _touch_ them," Ranma replied, mystified.

XXX

The man was drunk. He'd slept half the night on the park bench – not because he didn't have a home to go to, but simply because he hadn't been able to find it. He awoke in the middle of the night to someone prodding him in his side.

"Mmmhuh?" The man rolled over and stared blearily up into the face of a very large man. Moonlight flashed off of round glasses. The man's head was round, tied with some sort of cloth. Quite a bit about the man seemed round, in fact.

"Your name is Niida, right?" the large man growled. "You're a Shinto priest."

"Guhhhuh?" Niida was still too drunk and too asleep to be very lucid. "Yesh... dat's me. Mishter Niida. Dat's right. Ima preesht."

The large man looked up into the sky. "It looks like it might rain," he said, conversationally. "It's already cold out. Are you going to be okay out here, on this bench?"

"I gots a home," Niida slurred. "I jusht needs to get there."

The man held up an unopened bottle of sake. Instantly he had Niida's attention.

"I have a warm fire in an abandoned temple," the man said. "There are walls and a roof. There's sake...." He smiled, and added, "All you need to do is come with me and spend the night, and tomorrow perform a simple marriage ceremony...."

XXX

It rained during the night. By early morning the rain had stopped. Wet streets reflected streetlight. Ranma and Akane dressed in their uniforms and headed for school. Across the roadway, hidden by bushes, Genma watched.

An hour later Nodoka Saotome left. Genma waited a bit, then sneaked across the road.

He picked the lock. True, it was his own house and he had a key, but _some _things just needed to be done properly. He had his thief's mask on, he had the right attitude, and the plan was in motion.

Genma tiptoed up the hallway to Ranma's room. He laid a big sack on the bed, then opened the closet.

_So many girlish things_. Genma's face flushed with anger. What his wife had done to their son would be hard to forgive. Of course, by this time tomorrow, there would be no more need to forgive anything. Everything would be right with the world once again. Genma was about to take things into his own hands.

He began stuffing clothing into the sack. It would _all_ have to go – skirts, dresses, bras, panties. It had been years since Genma had participated in one of the Master's nightly raids, but some things you never really forgot. He was in and out of the bedroom in less than three minutes.

"Don't worry, Son," he said. "I'm coming to save you. You'll thank me when all of this is over."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

"Have you been practicing your chi blast?" Ranma asked. It was early Friday morning and she and Akane were in the practice room in the gymnasium with Akela and Yoriko.

"_What_ chi blast?" Akane groused. "I can't _do _anything yet."

"That's why your practice," Ranma said. "Show me what you've got."

Akela and Yoriko watched as Akane concentrated. She stood ten feet from a wall of bricks that Ranma had erected in their practice room. Akane's brow beaded with sweat as she concentrated.

She thrust her hands forward, palms out. "Kami no Ikari!" she yelled. Nothing happened.

"You're not trying hard enough," Ranma scolded. "Remember how I taught you? You need to fuel your anger and concentrate all your feeling into the blast."

Akane tried again. "Kami no Ikari!" she yelled, thrusting her hands out.

A small puff of chi drifted from her hands. It bounced harmlessly off the stone wall.

"Wow, Akane!" Akela said. "I _saw_ something that time!"

"Not good enough," Ranma growled. "You need to be angrier."

"It's _hard_ to be angry with no reason," Akane grumbled.

Ranma grinned. "That's what you've got _me _for!" she exclaimed. "Fat chick! Built like a brick! Legs too thick! Never quick!"

"_Really_, Ranma," Yoriko said, "childish insults? That's _never_ going to wor...."

"RANMA!" Akane yelled, her battle aura suddenly blazing bright blue. "You take that back!"

Ranma jumped in front of the temporary wall. "Why don't you _make_ me, 'Kane? Hit me with your big, macho-girl chi blast! Or _can _you? After all, it takes real brains and an ability to concentrate, _neither _of which you have. It probably takes good looks too, in which case you're _really_ up shit creek without a pad...."

"KAMI NO IKARI!" Akane screamed, thrusting her hands forward. "Wrath of the Heavens Blast!" A bright blue ball of chi shot out. Ranma barely dodged it in time. It blasted through the wall of stacked bricks, and then through the gymnasium wall behind that.

Ranma stared through the hole in the wall. Two passing St. Hebereke students were staring back in with shocked expressions.

"Yeah, okay," Ranma said. "Like that. Practice doing that. Only, practice outside from now on."

XXX

Niida stirred. He opened his eyes. His forehead throbbed. He'd been drunk again, he realized. Where was he?

He peered about a dimly lit room. Leaves and dirt covered the floor. Nearby a fire burned. Seated before the fire was a large, roundish man wearing glasses.

Niida dimly remembered making a promise to this man last night. Something about a marriage ceremony?

He sat up and tried to shake the cobwebs from his head.

"So, you're awake," the fat man said. "You should get comfortable. We have a long day ahead of us."

"You wanted me to marry someone?" Niida asked. "Where's the happy couple, then?"

"All in good time," the fat man replied. "In the meantime, I have more sake...."

XXX

A cold wind blew that morning, and the weather was stormy. By lunch rain was pouring down. The girls from the _Anything Goes _club gathered in the lunch room.

"Where's Akane?" Miyuki asked.

Ranma shrugged. "She said she had something to do."

Akane met Akela in the library. "Hey 'Kane," the dark-skinned half-Hawaiian girl said. "You said you needed to talk to me? What's up?"

"I have something for you," Akane said. Wordlessly she slid a letter across the table. Akela picked it up curiously. She stared at it for a long time. Understanding slowly dawned in her eyes.

"This looks like it was sent many years ago," she said.

"It was," Akane replied. "It didn't have a complete address, so it came back." She smiled ruefully. "To be honest, Akela, I don't remember writing it, or sending it. I don't know what it says. I don't even remember _you _that well. If not for my sisters reminding me, I wouldn't have made the connection at all."

"Should I open it?" Akela asked.

"Well, it's been through a lot to get to you," Akane said. "I'd be disappointed if you didn't read it."

Akela carefully opened the letter and read it.

"Well, it's pretty simple," she said. "A girl that young doesn't have a lot to say, after all."

"What does it say?"

Akela handed the letter to Akane. She read.

_To my best friend Akela Leilani,_

_ I hope you have fun in Hawaii. I would like to come see you there some day soon. Daddy says that it's a long ways away and you can only get there by plane or boat. I will miss you very much._

_ Your best friend,_

_ Akane Tendo_

Akane frowned. "That's it?" she asked. "Nothing about getting married?"

"Are you disappointed?" Akela asked.

Akane laughed. "Well... kind of, I guess." She laughed. "But I guess this proves what I said – a third grader's declaration of love doesn't mean that much."

"I suppose that's true," Akela said.

After a moment, Akane grasped Akela's hands. "Look, I'm sorry," she said.

"Sorry for what?" Akela asked.

"It's just... my sisters said that the whole bit about us getting married was _my _idea. I'd just... I'd hate to think that it's _my _fault that you turned out the way you did...."

Akela laughed. Akane frowned. "I'm _serious_," she said.

"Tell me, Akane," said Akela, "has there ever been a guy that ever made you feel warm and fuzzy inside just when you looked at him or were around him?"

Akane thought back to her crush on Dr. Tofu. "Yeah, I guess so, she said. "When I was younger I had a crush on our family doctor. He just seemed so completely _cool_. Still does, actually. But he's always had a thing for my sister Kasumi, even if he's afraid to say so and she doesn't notice. Or _pretends _to not notice. I mean, she was _always _borrowing books from him...."

"Ranma never made you feel that way, when she was a guy?" Akela asked.

Akane looked wistful. "Lots of times, actually," she said. "Ranma can be pretty darn cool when he wants to be. He's the most amazing fighter I've ever known. He's incredibly strong, and incredibly loyal. He doesn't go back on his word. And he _never _gives up. Those are his good points.

"And then, he opens his mouth, and you find out what his bad points are."

Akela raised an eyebrow. "Such as?"

"Well," Akane said, "he's arrogant, insensitive, rude, self-absorbed, a playboy, a pervert... I could go on."

"No, that's fine," Akela replied. "Anyway, my point was, when a guy turns you on like that, that revs your motor – it's not something voluntary, is it? You can't _decide _to be turned on, you just are or aren't."

Akane nodded. "Yeah. Of course."

"See? Guys don't _do_ that to me," Akela said. "They never have. I don't get all hot and bothered thinking about them. _Girls_, however, turn me on. I can't really help it. I have no choice in the matter."

Akane blinked. "Oh. I can see your point," she said. "Then... it can't really be my fault, can it?"

"No, of course not." Akela smiled. "But has a girl never turned you on?"

Akane thought about this. "You mean, besides female Ranma?"

Akela laughed. "I think you've already answered my question."

XXX

Rain continued to pour throughout the day. When the last bell sounded, the girls of the _Anything _Goes club gathered in the front entryway.

"Kami, it's coming down in buckets," Ukyo grumbled. "I really hate walking home when it's like this."

"Who has to walk home?" Miyuki replied. "Between Tomari, Kaida and I we've got enough limo space for everyone.

Ukyo's face brightened considerably. "Really? That's _great_, Miyuki!"

Miyuki smiled. "It's not a problem. Why don't _you _come with me, and Akane and Shampoo too. I need to get there early to set things up. Nabiki will be with Kaida I assume, and Rin and Akela. Tomari and Kohana can take Sachiko. I assume Yoriko isn't coming, as usual. Oh, but where's Ranma?"

Akane looked around. "That's odd. I thought she was right behind me."

Miyuki rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm not going to wait for her. I've got things to do. She can catch a ride with one of the other two groups, or else she can walk. Let's get going."

XXX

Ranma stepped out of the bathroom and headed up the hall. The halls were already quite empty – it was Friday, and in spite of the rain people were eager to leave school or had already headed off to their various clubs. Ranma knew her own club was meeting at Uchan's and was hoping she could catch a ride with Miyuki or Kohana.

Perhaps she was out of practice. Perhaps she was distracted, lost in thought. Or perhaps Genma really _was_ that good at a sudden, unexpected sneak attack. Whatever the reason, Ranma didn't see it coming. Her father materialized behind her and slammed a baseball bat into her head.

Genma quickly drug Ranma into a dark stairwell, where he stuffed her into a bag.

"Never fear, Ranma," he muttered. "Your Pops is prepared to fix everything.. It will be all straightened out before the morning...."

Slinging the pack over his back, he shimmered and vanished.

XXX

The last limo pulled up outside Uchan's restaurant. From it stepped Sachiko, Tomari, Kohana, and finally Yoriko Taoka. They dashed through the rain, shook the droplets out of their hair just inside the entrance, and headed on to the back room. Tonight it was reserved for a special meeting of _The Anything Goes Magical Loligoth Cupcake Girl Appreciation Society._

Miyuki frowned as the others showed up. "Where's Ranma?" she asked. "Didn't she come with you?"

"No," Kohana said in her usual monotone. "We waited, but she never showed. We were hoping she caught a ride with you."

"Ranma wasn't there when we left," Miyuki said.

"Then I assume she'll have to walk," Kohana replied. "After traveling China on foot for years it's hardly an inconvenience to her."

Miyuki frowned. "But it's inconvenient to _me_. I arranged this thing specifically because she complained that we never get anywhere with our big plans." She sighed. "Oh well, we can start without her anyway."

She smiled at Yoriko, who was already slouched in the corner, scowling. "I'm so very _happy_ that even you were able to make it today, Yoriko. This is our most important meeting so far, so I wanted to have _everyone _in attendance!"

"I'm only here as a token gesture to the fact that I'm in this club," Yoriko retorted. "I told you already, I've got nothing to do with you freaks. I got zero interest in your weird dress-up games."

Miyuki laughed, completely impervious to the dour moods of others. Ukyo stabbed a finger in Yoriko's direction. "No smoking!" she commanded.  
"I wasn't _going_ to," Yoriko complained.

Nabiki ran a hand along the inner thigh of her avowed girlfriend. Kaida's faced turned a sudden, deep shade of red. Nabiki laughed. It took a lot to surprise or embarrass Kaida Genji, but Nabiki was becoming good at it.

She leaned in to whisper in Kaida's ear. "How did we get _her_ to show up, anyway?"

"Kohana did it," Kaida whispered back. "Apparently she has some leverage with the girl. My guess is that her father has employed Yoriko's father before."

"Can that be true? A family like the Hondas having business with a yakuza boss?"

"I wouldn't be _that _unusual," Kaida said. "Business is business. Everyone needs an enforcer or someone to do their dirty work once in a while."

Nabiki smiled and kissed Kaida lightly on the cheek. Across from them, her younger sister Akane looked ready to explode. Nabiki smirked. _That_, of course, was just _one_ of the added benefits of flirting openly in public with Kaida.

Miyuki stood up.

"Okay," she said. "It's recently been brought to my attention that the very _reason _and _purpose_ of the existence of our club is being questioned. Certain members, who for whatever reason have not even bothered to show up for this, our most important meeting ever, have expressed the opinion that we will never accomplish anything with the club other than to allow Ranma and Akane to spar in the morning and train whoever else shows up.

"Never _mind_ the fact that said member expresses little interest in any of the clubs other activities, at least publicly," Miyuki continued. "It _is_ true that we're a bit behind on the costumes I'm designing for the club members, and subsequently we're also behind on the first photo shoot for our first planned calendar. I do, however, have about half of the costumes done. I called this meeting to show everyone what I've been able to accomplish so far."

Miyuki clapped her hands. On cue, Konatsu danced into the room.

"Now, as you can see, Konatsu is dressed in one of my new costumes," Miyuki said. "Note the plaid dress in red and black, with a full skirt. This particular red and black tartan is known as a Brodie Red, although any red and black tartan would work. The dress has short sleeves which are not puffed and come to the elbow. Please note the all-black lower part of the sleeve with the silver cross on the left arm and a silver pentagram on the right. The cross represents the Catholicism upon which St. Hebereke's was founded, of course, and the pentagram is a protective symbol of witchcraft, with the five points representing the four elements of earth, water, wind, and fire) with the fifth point representing Gaia.

"And yes, Kohana," she added quickly, "I _do_ realize that it depends entirely on which witch you ask. Nevertheless, it's a good symbol to represent the magic side of our club, and I want you all to note that _this_ pentagram points upwards, and that it is the _downward_ pointing pentagram that typically represents evil, so I wanted to clear up _that_ little question right off the bat.

Now, over the dress we have a strapless apron that fits tightly over the chest, is belted at the waist, and covers about half of the skirt. This is black, because God knows Gothic is a part of our name and certain members of our group would never be caught _dead_ in an outfit that wasn't at least _half _black..." She paused to glare at Kohana and Tomari. "...Also decorated with silver crosses and pentagrams and some yin-yang symbols as well, and topped off with a ruffled trim. There are black lace petticoats under the skirt, and we have some very sharp knee-high leather boots to complete the ensemble.

"My goal for this design was a basic uniform for the club. To that end, it's intended to look a bit like a school uniform, and to also encompass the other things the group stands for – namely, magic, martial arts, and the origins of our school. Are there any questions?"

"Can you _kick_ in those boots," Akane asked. "Not that I want to actually _fight_ dressed up like this, mind you, but since it _might_ happen, I thought I should ask...."

"The boots are very supple leather, and we can provide a version without much of a heel if that would help," Miyuki replied. "I prefer a chunky heel myself, but I'm willing to compromise for the sake of functionality. I don't think there should be any problem."

"Tell me," Kohana said, "do you _really_ think it's wise to combine symbols from different beliefs into the same outfit?"

Miyuki stared at her blankly. "How do you mean?"

"You risk angering higher powers, who are jealous of what is or isn't theirs," Kohana pointed out.

Miyuki laughed. "No, really," she said. As Kohana continued to stare at her, she added, "Surely you can't be serious?"

"I am _always_ serious," Kohana stated. Then a slight almost-smile graced her lips, and she added, "And don't call me Shirley. In any case," she continued quickly, "I _refuse_ to wear such an outfit for that very reason. Decorate it with crosses if you want – we _are_ from a Catholic school, and it _is _a common Gothic motif. Leave the other stuff off."

Miyuki sighed. "Okay," she said. "I just wanted to represent the other aspects of the club but if the Secretary of Magic insists, then I'll acquiesce..."

"That's Secretary of the _Dark Arts,_" Kohana replied. "Please get it right."

"Yeah, whatever." Miyuki dismissed her with a wave of her hand. "Any _other_ questions or objections?"

Tomari raised her hand. "Yes, Tomari?" Miyuki asked.

"Does anyone else think it odd that the only boy in the room is the one picked to model our new dresses?"

Miyuki frowned.

"What I think is odd is that the _boy_ in question is not only the most feminine girl in the room, but _far _more eager to allow me to dress him up. Would anyone else have agreed to be the first to model my design?"

This was greeted by a chorus of no's. "Oh, but why not?" Konatsu exclaimed. "It's such a _cute_ outfit!"

Miyuki folded her arms and said, "I rest my case."

XXX

Rain poured down. A tall man with long hair stood under the awning of a corner store. He wore a trench coat and a fedora, and leaned against the wall reading a newspaper. A crackle of static sounded from his pocket. He folded the newspaper and dug a walkie-talkie out of his coat. He held it to his ear.

A voice crackled over the radio. "Papa Bear to Mustache. Papa Bear to Mustache. Come in, Mustache."

"This is Mustache," the man said in a low, conspiratorial voice. "I read you, Papa Bear."

"Good. I am pleased to report that Phase One: Cage the Wild Horse has been completed. The horse is caged."

"Roger that, Papa Bear, the trench coated man replied. "That _is _good news. I am ready to initiate Phase Two: Leading the Bird to Water."

There was a pause, and then the man added, "Although really, as I pointed out before, you cage a _bird_, you lead a _horse_ to water...."

The voice on the other end turned angry. "Are we going to argue about the naming of the phases again? Obviously my son is the Wild Horse, and your daughter is the Bird."

"Yes," said the man, "but the full names for each phase don't make sense, you have to admit. I told you we needed better names."

"Don't worry, Soun," said the voice over the radio. "Our plan will work no matter what names we give it. The two schools will be united!"

There was another long pause. The man in the trench coat said., "Who is this 'Soun' that you speak of, Papa Bear?"

"My mistake, Mustache," the other voice replied. "I don't know anyone by that name, of course. I was momentarily confused."

"Well," Mustache replied, "see that it doesn't happen again. And now, I must initiate phase two...."

XXX

Looking like a fisherman dressed for stormy seas, a large man in rubber rain gear stumbled into the center of the abandoned temple, dripping water. He set a sack down near the fire and shook himself thoroughly to dislodge any excess raindrops. Then he removed his hat and began undoing the raincoat.

A second man leaned out of the darkness. He huddled over the fire, glancing up hopefully. "Did you bring any more sake, stranger?" he asked.

"Here you go, priest." The larger man tossed a bottle onto the ground. The priest snatched it up eagerly. "Just see to it that you're not too drunk to perform the ceremony in a few hours," the larger man added. He untied the sack and dumped an unconscious red-haired girl onto the floor.

The priest looked on with interest. "So, this is the bride to be?" he asked. "She's very beautiful. She'll make a lovely bride!"

The larger man growled like a caged animal. "No! Don't you dare say such a thing again! _ This_ is the groom."

The priest didn't bat an eye. "Very well, then," he said. "I didn't realize I would be marrying two girls. But no matter. Perhaps that is why you have chosen such an out-of-the-way location?"

"There will only be one girl," the large man replied sharply. "Did you boil the water like I asked?"

"Yes," the priest said. "I have all six kettles waiting. You said they were _very _important. What are they for?"

"You just sit back and watch," the man replied. "Soon all will become clear."

XXX

Despite years of training under the Master, Soun Tendo was not a ninja. For that matter, _Happosai_ was not a ninja, despite having a great deal of skill when it came to sneaking into buildings. Soun did not even have his friend Genma's secret Umisen and Yamasen techniques. Thus, it was perhaps inevitable that he was caught sneaking into Uchan's by a certified master ninja.

At least, he was caught by the world's greatest male kunoichi. Wearing a strange black and red tartan Gothic lolita dress, no less.

"An intruder!" Konatsu exclaimed, finding Soun in the back kitchen area. Throwing stars flashed through the air. Soun dodged, then attacked with a flying kick. Konatsu avoided the attack. Suddenly the kunoichi was at Soun's back. He wrapped his arms about the Tendo patriarch and bent over backwards.

"Expense Account Suplex!" Konatsu yelled out. He popped up, ready for more. Soun, however, was clearly stunned.

"Very well," the kunoichi said, whipping out a tube of lipstick. "Just to be certain you stay down... Kunoichi Lipstick Hell Attack!"

Konatsu tied Soun up and drug him into the back room.

"Ukyo, look! I caught a vicious intruder!" the ninja exclaimed.

Nabiki's eyebrows rose. "Daddy, what are _you _doing here?"

"And _why_ are you covered in lipstick kisses?" Akane angrily added.

Soun opened his eyes. Directly before him sat Nabiki with her arms about another girl, her head pillowed on the girl's shoulder. Catching his gaze, Nabiki turned and kissed the other girl.

Soun looked away. He had more important matters to attend to.

"Akane," he said. "Genma has kidnapped Ranma...."

"He _what?_" Akane exclaimed, leaping to her feet.

"He... he's gone a bit crazy, I'm afraid," Soun added, really getting into the part. "I'm worried, Akane. Who knows _what_ he might do? As Ranma's fiance, it falls on _you _to go rescue him...."

Ukyo and Shampoo both leaped to their feet. "I'll go too!" Ukyo yelled.

"Shampoo go as well!" the Amazon added.

"No!" Soun replied. "No! Genma... he said he would _kill_ Ranma if anyone else interfered... he really has lost it this time! Only Akane has a chance of talking him out of whatever madness he has planned...."

For a moment everyone stared at Soun in confusion and horror. Then Nabiki said, "Daddy, you can cut the dramatics and overacting. You're not fooling anyone."

"What?" Akane demanded. "What are you talking about, Nabiki?"

"Oh, come _on_, Sis," Nabiki replied. "Surely you aren't fooled by this charade? Let me paint the picture for you: Genma kidnaps Ranma. Daddy warns you about the horrible danger that Ranma is in. Only you can save him. You rush off to wherever Genma lies in wait, and bam! He forces you and Ranma to marry. Oh, maybe he just pretends to be the villain first and lets you defeat him, thus confirming your eternal love for each other. I admit I don't know the _entire_ script, but we _all _know that their goal is to see you and Ranma married. It's practically all they ever _talk_ about, the union of the two schools."

Akane looked uncertain. "How can you be sure?"

"Akane, what's the _first thing _that Ranma does every time you're kidnapped? Goes after you? So what do they expect _you _to do when Ranma is kidnapped? Trust me, it's a trap. It doesn't take a genius to see through the schemes of those two."

Akane plopped back down. "Is that really what this is all about, Father?" she asked.

"No, of course not!" Soun lied. "I would _never _trick my daughter into marrying against her will...."

Akane looked at her father with sadness in her eyes. "Oh, Dad," she said. "You've attempted to do so on _several_ occasions. Nabiki is right. This is a setup."

Miyuki jumped up on the table. "That might be, but Ranma has _still _been kidnapped, right? You know what this means? We need to call a full meeting of the Anything Goes club now!"

Akela frowned. "I thought we already _were_ having a full meeting of the club...."

XXX

Ranma's head ached. She drifted on the edge of consciousness. She felt herself being doused with hot water – over and over. She felt it when the change came over her, her smaller female body stretching and growing, becoming more angular, more muscled. Her breasts faded as her manhood reasserted itself. Afterwards there was a buzzing sound that she couldn't place. Someone was doing something with her hair. She drifted back to sleep, dreaming of getting her hair permed again.

Ranma did not awaken for a long time. When he did, it was to the crackle of a nearby fire and the steady sound of gentle rain. The smell of cooked rice drifted to his nostrils. His stomach rumbled.

Ranma opened his eyes. It was dark, and cold. Shadows flickered across a ceiling high above. His arms and feet were bound. He had black silk pants on, and nothing else – he was naked from the waist up.

Ranma was male. He blinked, and tried to sit up.

"Hungry?" The sound of his father's voice caused Ranma's head to snap around. Genma was seated on the far side of a fire pit. Someone else was there too, asleep somewhere behind Genma, snoring loudly.

"Pops?" Ranma said. "Why am I tied up? What's going on? What are you doing?"

"Something I should have done weeks ago," Genma replied. "Don't worry, Son. Everything will be fixed soon."

Ranma struggled to sit up. His head felt weird, and not just because of the lump where his father had struck him. There was no hair hanging in his eyes or falling against his neck. His head felt strangely unencumbered – and cold.

"What gives?" Ranma growled. "What did you do to my hair?"

"I shaved it off, of course," Genma replied. "It had to be done."

"What? You bastard! What the hell are you up to, old man?"

Genma stood. In two strides he was towering over Ranma. He backhanded Ranma across the face.

"Don't talk to your father that way, " he growled. "Do you think I _wanted _to resort to this? What I'm doing is for your own good, boy. Remember that. When this is all over, you can thank me...."

Genma paused, then went back to the fire. "Now, are you hungry? All I have is rice. Just like old times, eh? I'll even hand feed you, like I did that first year we were on the road...."

XXX

Soun Tendo sat in the corner of the back room at Ukyo's, tied up and watched over by Konatsu. He listened as the girls of the _Anything Goes_ club discussed their battle plan.

"One thing's clear," Nabiki said. "Whatever rescue team we assemble, it can't include Akane."

"What?" Akane exclaimed. "Why not?"

"Because," Nabiki replied patiently, "These two will do _anything _to see you two married. They've been especially desperate lately, what with Ranma's mother declaring engagements off until you two graduate. My guess is that they figure once you're married, they can let the chips fall where they may."

Ukyo jumped up. "They can't do that! I have a promise from Ranma's mother!"

Nabiki shrugged. "If Ranma and Akane are married, your claim becomes somewhat moot, no matter _what _Mrs. Saotome promised you."

"Nabiki," Akane said, "if what you say is true then you're in as much danger as I. Any marriage between Ranma and one of us would count."

Nabiki nodded. "That's exactly right. I can't go either. In fact, I'm surprised that they didn't come after me first, since that might be easier to argue around after the fact."

"Where's Kasumi right now?" Akane blurted out.

Nabiki whipped out her cell phone. "I'm calling her now," she said. "Mind you, if Genma has Ranma and Daddy is here, then she's probably safe...."

"Who should be on the rescue team is obvious," Miyuki said. She ticked the names of on her fingers. "Ukyo and Shampoo, who not only have an interest in making sure Ranma isn't married but who are also two of our best fighters; Konatsu and Sachiko, also good fighters; Akela, who's been training under Ranma...."

"I'll go too," Yoriko suddenly said. "I know how to fight, and Ranma's my Sensei. Plus, I can call in a few of my own people to help..."

"I'm going too," Kohana added. "I know things that might come in handy. Plus, I have a secret weapon...."

Miyuki looked momentarily confused. "You do? What?"

"Not what, but who," Kohana replied.

"Our butler, Mr. Khan," Tomari added. "He's already on the way."

"Your butler?" Miyuki looked confused. "What good is a butler? I'm not including _my _butler..."

"Mr. Khan is more than an ordinary butler," Kohana said. "We may well need him. Trust me."

XXX

Ranma watched his father by the light of a flickering fire. He felt better, having eaten. Now he just needed to figure out what his father was up to.

"What's this all about, Pops?" he asked. "And who's the guy snoring in the corner?"

"His name is Mr. Niida," Genma replied. "He's a Shinto priest who's a little down on his luck. I lured him here with the promise of cheap sake. I needed him. You see, you're going to marry Akane, once and for all, whether you want to or not. It won't be the ceremony that your mother and I would have liked, nor Akane either, but such things can't be helped under the circumstances."

"Pops, you're seriously nuts," Ranma growled. "What is wrong with you?"

"I'm doing you a favor, boy," Genma said. "It's time to put all of this girlhood nonsense behind you."

Ranma frowned. "I gave my word to my mother. I don't intend to break it."

Anger flashed in Genma's eyes. "And I gave my word to my friend Tendo. The schools must be joined!"

"Then wait two years!" Ranma growled. "What's so hard about that?"

"Don't you see boy? She's turning you into a girl! She's perverting everything I've done! I've spent my whole life perfecting you in the art, keeping you from the weakening influence of women...."

Ranma snorted. "Yeah, Dad. Thanks. You made me a clueless misogynist just like you."

Genma backhanded him again. "Foolish boy! Everything you are is because of me!"

"Kami, Pops, didn't you hear what Mom said? Anyone that interferes in the next two years forfeits their claim. Are you really going to risk that? Is that what you want?"

"We'll deal with your mother in due time," Genma said in a low voice. "Once you and Akane are married, it won't matter what your mother says. In order to do that, I need to fix my biggest mistake. This all went wrong in China, at Jusenkyo... the place of my greatest shame...."

"That boat's sailed, Pops. Unless you have some way to fix the curse?"

Genma's glasses flashed in the firelight. "Indeed I do, my boy. Indeed I do."

Ranma paused. A cure? In that case, he was willing to hear his father out. It always _was_ possible that the fool had somehow come up with a cure for the curse, and Ranma _still _wished to be cured. But that brought up another issue.

"And when I fail school? Have you forgotten your stupid seppeku pledge?"

"Don't be stupid," Genma replied. "You won't fail school."

"Don't be stupid?" Ranma replied. "Pops, how can I avoid that when I'm related to you?"

"What's with your whining?" Genma snarled. "I didn't raise my son to be an idiot!"

"You didn't teach me _anything_ except martial arts!" Ranma spat back. "How could I _ever_ be expected to do well in school, when I haven't attended the same school for three months straight in my entire life?"

All of the shouting woke the priest, who stirred and sat up unsteadily. "Need more sssake," he slurred.

Genma frowned. "What happened to the bottle I gave you?"

"Ish gone. All gone," the priest replied.

Genma produced another bottle. "This is the last one," he warned. "I need you sober enough to perform the wedding ceremony in just a few hours...."

"Ish no problem," the priest muttered. "I kin do it in my shleep...."

Ranma snorted. "You really think you're going to go through with this this time, old man?" he asked.

"Of course," Genma replied. "By dawn tomorrow you, my son, will be a married man."

XXX

The rescue party headed out into the night and the pouring rain. Kohana was dressed in full witches garb, which Mr. Khan had brought with him. Some of the others had made fun of her for taking the time to dress up, but her wide-brimmed hat was proving useful in the wet weather.

Konatsu had refused to change out of Miyuki's gothic lolita outfit, saying that it was a perfect opportunity to test it's usefulness as a battle uniform, and besides, it looked far too cute and he wanted to keep it. Kohana had insisted on blacking out the pentagram and yin-yang symbols with a marker. She had also called for an item of Ranma's clothing. This was not easy to come by, but then Ukyo remembered a waitress uniform she had that Ranma had worn last.

This Kohana handed to her hulking butler. Mr. Khan sniffed it carefully.

"Got it," he said. "Follow me." He loped off into the darkness.

"What is he, a bloodhound?" Ukyo asked, as the girls tried to keep up.

"Better than that," Kohana replied. "He's the Honda family butler, and has been since my great grandfather was just a boy...."

"That's not possible," Ukyo replied. "Humans don't live that long."

"No," Kohana agreed. "They don't."

XXX

Genma lifted something up. "Do you know what this is, boy?"

Ranma blinked. "My workout uniform?" he said. "I was wondering where that went...."

"No," Genma replied. "This thing is lavender silk with flowers. This is an item meant for a girl."

Genma tossed the offending clothing into the fire. It began to burn.

Ranma struggled in vain to loosen the ropes that bound him. "And what does this prove?" he demanded.

"This is a ritual sacrifice," Genma said. "I'm burning away everything girlish about you, all of the wrong-headed thinking that your mother has infected you with."

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Right, Pops. Nice little ceremony you've got going there. And who's going to save me from the wrong-headed thinking you've infected me with?"

"Show some respect, boy," Genma growled. "I'm trying to save your manhood!"

"Don't forget that you're the one who lost it for me in the first place."

Ignoring him, Genma held up a teddy bear in a gingham dress. "This, too, is part of your girlhood," he said solemnly. He tossed it into the fire, followed by the gothic lolita bear and the karate bear. "These things I burn so that every girlish thing about you be forgotten and destroyed."

"You _do_ realize that those bears were all picked out for me by Akane, don't you?" Ranma said. " If you're trying to bring us closer together you're doing it wrong."

Next Genma held up a pair of eyeglasses. "Hey!" Ranma exclaimed. "Those are my glasses! I _need_ those!"

"These are _girl's_ glasses," Genma stated, before tossing them onto the fire.

"Dammit, Pops! Replacing those costs money!"

Genma continued his strange ritual by holding up a skirt and then tossing it into the fire. Ranma watched as item after item stolen from his room was sacrificed to the flames. At first Ranma laughed. It was a joke, thinking any of this would bother him. But then he watched as a dress his mother had bought him after a week of straight A's landed in the fire, followed by the combat outfit that Miyuki had made for him when he fought Kodachi. The kitten jumper that Kohana had given to him was tossed in. He realized now that he hadn't been as afraid of cats ever since that night. A skirt Miyuki had made for him was next. True, it was a frilly lolita skirt – but she'd poured her heart into it, and had seemed so happy when he wore it.

Ranma realized he'd been looking _forward_ to wearing some of these items of clothing again. He was still a guy, _that _would never change, but.... perhaps he didn't mind being a girl as much as he once had?

_No, _Ranma thought. _That's stupid. _Maybe his father was right. Maybe Ranma had grown too soft. After all, he was a guy. Why should he be fond of a cute skirt? _But it's a waste to just destroy it,_ a part of his mind suggested. _Akane could have worn it, at least...._

A deeper part of his mind added, _I wanted to wear it again. _Ranma chose to ignore it.

XXX

Lightning flashed. Thunder rolled. Rain continued to pour down outside.

Inside Uchan's, Akane sat waiting with Nabiki, Kaida, Rin and Tomari. All of the others were gone. The restaurant had been closed for the night. The place seemed comparatively empty.

Nabiki sipped a soda. "Well, this ought to be fun," she said. "Sitting around waiting to find out what happens next." She leaned into Kaida. "Got any ideas how to pass the time, Love?" she asked suggestively.

Kaida for once seemed a bit annoyed by the attention. "I'm just worried," she said. "For Ranma, for Akela, for everyone. Especially with the weather tonight. It seems like a bad omen."

"Trust me," Nabiki said, "Ranma can take care of herself. This isn't the first time something like this has come up." She caressed Kaida's face. "Have faith, my beautiful Kaida."

Akane looked away in disgust. Her sister would do _anything _for money, it seemed.

Akane sat up, alert. She looked around. "Nabiki," she said, warning creeping into her voice, "where's Father?"

"Tied up in the corner..." Nabiki began. All eyes turned to corner of the room, which was empty. Nabiki swore. "He was just there a moment ago...."

Lightning flashed again. The lights went out.

In the darkness, Akane called out. "Nabiki?"

"I'm here," Nabiki replied. "It's only darkness. Nothing to be afraid of...."

There was a muffled cry and a loud thump, then the sound of running feet. In the kitchen a door slammed.

"Akane?" Nabiki called out. "Akane?"

There was no reply.

XXX

Firelight flickered in the abandoned temple. Outside, thunder rolled.

"Akane and Soun will be here soon," Genma said. He stood in the dim light and set something on the floor. "First, we must deal with your curse. _This_, boy, is your salvation," he said with satisfaction.

Ranma peered into the gloom. "A stone... frog?" he asked. He wanted to laugh.

"I know it doesn't look like much," Genma replied, "but within this statue lies the power to cure your curse. I had to go through a lot to get my hands on it...."

"You stole it, in other words," Ranma said. "Or did you promise my hand in marriage?"

"Shut up, boy! I'd sacrifice _anything_ for you, don't you know that? Now, behold." Genma concentrated, then smashed his fist down. The stone statue shattered.

For a moment nothing happened. Genma frowned. "The old man _promised _me," he began. He paused. Smoke was slowly rising from the shattered rubble.

In moments the smoke expanded and solidified into a large demonic creature with a massive head, six curved horns, and a wide, frog-like mouth. It turned bulbous green eyes upon Genma.

"I am the demon Guagua," the creature said. "You have freed me, mortal snack, from that which the monk Liu Ling imprisoned me."

Genma adjusted his glasses nervously. The demon towered over him. It had wicked-looking black spurs jutting from its forearms like ebon blades. "Yes I did. You owe me a wish. That's the deal, I free you in exchange for a wish."

The demon bowed. "Indeed, I did vow to grant a boon to whoever should free me. Anything within my power is yours. What is it you desire, mortal snack?"

Ranma frowned. "Kami, Pops, a bargain with a demon? You really _are _desperate. And why does it keep adding _snack_ to the the word mortal?"

"Shut up, boy!" Genma growled. "This is important!"

Ganma licked his lips. This was his moment of truth. He could use the wish to cure his own curse. Truth be told, he would give anything to be free of the cursed panda form of Jusenkyo. But more than that, he wanted to fix what had gone wrong with his son. He'd poured his life into his son, and then it had all been twisted in an instant. Everything had gone horribly wrong. It wasn't that he felt guilty, because it wasn't his fault. It was that faulty travel brochure, and that idiotic Chinese guide. That fool should have warned them of the danger. It was the fault of the universe, which always seemed to conspire against him. Most of all, it was the fault of his foolish wife, who forced him to sign that ridiculous contract and who insisted on coddling their son, and who even tried to turn him into their _daughter_...

Now he could finally set things right. He had the power to fix it all.

"I want... I want you to cure... to cure my... my cur... I mean my son's...."

"Yes?" the demon asked.

Damn, this was harder than he thought it would be. Sweat broke out on Genma's face. To give up the cure that he'd sought for so long....

Genma spun to glare at his son. "Remember this, boy!" he growled. "Remember the great sacrifice that your father makes for the love of his only son!"

He turned back to the demon. "I want you to cure my son," he said. "That is my wish."

Guagua stated at Ranma for a long moment. "Cure him?" the demon said. "Of what?"

"He is cursed," Genma said. "He fell into the spring of drowned girl at Jusenkyo. He transforms into a girl."

The demon stared at Ranma again. "Ah yes," it said. "The nyannichuan curse of Jusenkyo. I see it. What of it?"

"I can't stand it anymore!" Genma wailed. "He is becoming more girlish every day! Cure him, please, I beg of you! Remove his curse!"

"Remove a Jusenkyo curse?" The demon laughed, and it sounded like rolling thunder. "Foolish mortal snack, what do you take me for? An all-powerful kami? One of the djinn? Do you think my powers have no limits?"

"We have a deal!" Genma exclaimed. "You promised!"

The demon's large eyes rolled about in a very inhuman way. "Aye, to grant anything _within my power_. A Jusenkyo curse is well beyond my ability to cure. You must ask for something else."

"No!" Genma yelled. "I freed you! You have to uphold your end of the bargain! I demand that you fix it so that my son never transform into a girl again!"

"You demand? I warn you, mortal snack; do not anger me. I have no love for your kind, and there is nothing that binds me to your will, save my own vow."

"Pops," Ranma said, "don't do this. It's not worth making a deal with a creature like that. Just let him go. You can still marry me to Akane...."

"Shut up, boy!" Genma yelled. "This is for your own good!"

"You idiot!" Ranma yelled back. "You got no idea what that thing might do to me!"

Ignoring him, Genma turned once again to the frog-like demon. He got on his knees and bowed low. "Please, Guagua, I ask you one last time. Make it so that my son never transforms again into a girl, by whatever means necessary. That is my only wish."

"Make it so he can no longer transform?" The demon's inhuman gaze flickered to Ranma again. "That is your wish? _That_ I can do."

Genma smiled. A second later, the creature hopped across the room to Ranma and bit him in half.

Ranma's scream echoed across the mountainside.

XXX

When Akane came to, she was slung across her father's back. He was running through the dark, through the rain, up a wooded hillside.

"Dad?" Akane asked. Water dripped down her face.

"Forgive your loving father, Akane," Soun replied, out of breath. "I do this for your own good. I can't let your friends interfere with the plan."

"Dad? What are you _doing_?" Akane demanded. She pounded him in the back. "Put me down! Put me down this instant!"

Soun set his daughter down. "Don't worry, Akane," he said. "This is all for the best, you'll see. Everything has been arranged. Tonight you will be wed to Ranma."

Akane stood in the darkness and the pouring rain. She stared at her father as if he'd grown a second head. "Dad? You can't just _do_ this! Ranma's mother will never approve. _I _will never approve!"

"The decision has already been made," Soun replied resolutely. "There's no turning back now, Daughter. What must be done _will_ be done."

He grabbed her hand. "Now, come! There isn't much time!"

Akane jerked her hand back. "No! I won't let you do this!"

Suddenly Soun's demon head appeared. It loomed out of the darkness. "DAUGHTER, YOU WILL OBEY YOUR FATHER!" it yelled. Akane stumbled back. It towered over Akane for a moment, tongue flickering in and out, then it vanished. Soun turned away, beginning to cry.

"_Please, _Akane," he begged. "Don't make your father do that to his precious daughter again. You _must_ come with me. It's already been decided...."

"Oh, gods!" Akane said, tears springing to her eyes. "It's just like Ukyo said. She _knew y_ou two would ruin everything, and now... hell, you've _already_ ruined everything! Once Mother Saotome learns of this, she'll break the engagement with Ranma, and I. Dammit, Dad! I could have waited until graduation, and everything could have worked out. Ranma and I would have been married. Now, thanks to you, it's never going happen...."

"Please, Akane," Soun said. "_Please_ don't fight me in this. I will knock you out and carry you again if I must. We have a priest waiting. You _will _be married tonight...."

"_That's not what I wanted!_" Akane was trembling now. A thick blue aura enveloped her. "I... everything was going fine, and I... Ranma and I were getting along and... she was teaching me... she tried to teach me...." The words were spoken softly, haltingly. Akane's eyes focused on her father, full of fury. "And you had to go and screw it all up! I _hate_ you, Father!"

The words were like a physical blow to Soun. But then, Akane threw her hands forward. "KAMI NO IKARI!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

A massive ball of blue chi lit up the night. It slammed Soun into the side of the mountain. Akane blinked in surprise. The blast had seemed as powerful as any from Ranma or Ryoga. But she _knew _she wasn't capable of such a blast....

Akane ran to where her father lay. "Daddy?" she asked, kneeling down. "Daddy? I'm sorry, I...." She checked his pulse, then felt his body. He was unconscious but did not appear to be badly hurt.

Just then, a terrible scream echoed across the hills. Akane turned to face up the mountainside.

"Ranma?" she asked, fear in her voice.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

(thanks to members of for help on the fight scenes back when I wrote them. None of the have gotten to reach this chapter until now though. ^_^ )

The frog demon spit the lower half of Ranma's body back out.

"Blech," it grumbled. "I'd forgotten how badly human mortals taste."

Genma stared in horror at his son's mangled body. Ranma stared back at him for one long moment before his eyes turned glassy and dull. His arm convulsed, then was still. Genma fell to his knees. "What… what have you done?"

"You asked me to make it so he will no longer transform," the demon rasped. "I have done so."

"You killed him!" Genma wailed. "Foul monster! We had a deal!"

The demon grinned toothily. "Yes, indeed we did," it replied. "Death is the only way for me to stop a Jusenkyo curse. But you are correct – I _am _a foul monster. Did no one ever warn you not to bargain with a demon?"

With a scream of incoherent rage, Genma flung himself at the creature. It backhanded him easily. Genma crashed through ancient timbers and collapsed onto the floor.  
"You truly are a stupid mortal," the demon said. "I do not think I will eat you."

On the far side of the room, the priest Niida scrambled backwards, his face a mask of horror. Choking and gurgling, he turned and fled into the stormy night. The demon watched him go with only mild interest. He turned his gaze back on Genma.

Genma stirred. He lifted his head. Ten feet in front of him lay one half of a bloody corpse, torn in two by demon's teeth. Ranma was dead. There could be no doubt.

It was all his fault. And yet, how could he have foreseen such an end?

He'd spent his life raising the boy to be the greatest fighter on the planet. Was this where it ended? He'd made so many mistakes... he could see that now. But there was no road map for how to build the perfect fighter. Still he'd poured his heart and soul into the boy, pinned all his dreams and hopes on him, cheated and stolen and lied all for the benefit of his great dream.....

Had it been so long ago that he and Soun had made their plans? It seemed as if it were only yesterday...

_ Genma Saotome lay back in the grass and stared up into the night sky._

_ "Ah, this is the life, isn't it Tendo?" he said. "No work to do, just traveling the countryside, training, camping out under the stars at night, the camaraderie of brothers... how could things be any better?"_

_ There was a long pause before his friend Soun answered. "Actually, we're beaten nightly by the Master, forced to steal women's underthings for his enjoyment, forced to steal good food and sake while we eat the scraps, and he shows no inclination to reveal any of his best martial arts secrets to either of us. Nor is there any way for us to escape. This, friend Saotome, is hell."_

_ "Well, if you insist on putting it _that _way...." Genma grumbled. "I was just trying to look on the bright side of things."_

_ "_My_ dream," Soun said, "is to marry that cute girl Kimiko. Her father owns a dojo with a large house. I'll be able to practice the art and make a living training others. We'll have two daughters and two sons, maybe more, and they will _all _know and love the art. My sons will become the best martial artists in the land... able even to defeat our Master."_

_ Genma laughed. "Now _that_, Tendo, is a beautiful dream. But what if _I _want to inherit the dojo of Kimiko's father? Running a dojo like that sounds like a nice retirement."_

_ "Ah, Saotome, but Kimiko does not _like _you," Soun said. "Besides, you have a girl of your own. Or have you forgotten Nodoka?"_

_ "Well, yes," Genma replied. "She is quite beautiful and very sophisticated, and comes from a good family, and she _does_ respect the arts a great deal... but I have to admit, she _doesn't_ own a dojo...."_

_ "Then I'll tell you what," Soun said. "We'll have your daughter marry one of my sons. _They _will inherit the dojo from me. Then we can both retire to a life of ease and play games of shogi in the sun every day. _After_ my sons have dealt with the Master, of course."_

_ "Tendo, that's a_ perfect _plan!" Saotome replied. "'With one exception: it will be _my_ son who will marry _your_ daughter, and it will be _my_ son who becomes the great martial artist and defeats our evil Master."_

_ Genma glanced up. Master Happosai towered over him – something the diminutive man could only manage when Genma and Soun were flat on their backs. "What's this?" Happosai growled. "What are you dreaming about? Defeating me?" The Master placed his tiny foot on Genma's neck. "You lazy fools? Never in a million years!"_

The memory faded. Genma focused once again on the demon before him, and on the ruined body of his son.

So many dreams... ripped to pieces. So much of his life in ruins. What was there for him now? There were so many things, so many events, so many others to blame. But when it came right down to it, how could he blame anyone but himself?

"Yes," the demon said. "Such sweet despair. The boy was your entire life, wasn't he? All those years raising him and training him... all for nothing. You are a fool, and worse. You have brought about your own ruin. There is nothing for you now...."

The demon laughed, a low rumbling, croaking noise. "Oh, yes. Wallow in your despair, mortal snack. Your entire life has come to this. You have made so many mistakes on the way... so many things that you could have done, that you should have done. All for naught. You are nothing now, mortal snack. You are less than nothing."

As Genma began to sob, the demon gloated. "Oh! Such heavy despair! How sweet it is to the taste!"

XXX

The dark-skinned butler Mr. Khan ran through the rain, nostrils flaring. Kohana rode on his shoulders, balancing easily as if she'd done this all her life. Which, as a matter of fact, she had. Following behind him were a half-dozen girls and one boy, who admittedly looked more girlish than the others in his red and black tartan gothic lolita dress. Seven were trained fighters, but one girl was not. She was having trouble keeping up.

"Hey! Wait up!" Miyuki Gojo called out. "It's dark! I can barely see you guys in this downpour!".

Mr. Khan skidded to a halt. "Hurry!" he bellowed. "We are not far now. Come, come! Up this hill! Go!"

The others ran past. Mr. Khan scooped Miyuki into his arms. He turned and sprinted. In seconds he was once again ahead of the others.

"Hey!" Miyuki exclaimed. "What gives?"

"You are slowing us down, Mistress Gojo," the butler replied. "You are not a fighter. We will not need you in the coming battle. You should not have come."

"I want to film whatever happens!" Miyuki stated fiercely.

"And I wish to return to my homeland where I was born," the ogre replied. "We do not always get what we want."

A bell tolled, low and ominous. Miyuki blinked in confusion, but then Kohana pulled out her cell phone. "Yes?" she said. "Oh. I see. Not surprising, really. No, stay there. Yes, I'll let you know."

She put the phone away. "Bad news," she said. "That was Tomari. Soun Tendo escaped. He's got Akane with him."

Shampoo frowned. Ukyo gripped her spatula harder. "They won't get away with this," she vowed.

"Shampoo stop too stupid panda."

From somewhere far ahead a terrible scream ripped the night. The ogre redoubled his speed.

"That sounded like Ranma!" Miyuki exclaimed. "Kami, that didn't sound good."

"Mistress Kohana," Khan said, as he loped up the hill, "there is danger ahead. I smell a demon... a powerful one."

Miyuki's eyes widened. "A demon? Why would there be a demon?"

"I know not, Mistress Miyuki."

"Khan," Kohana said, "we're just a bunch of high school kids... six upstart warriors and one beginner witch, and Miyuki, who came only to take pictures." Her voice, though flat, managed to drip with sarcasm. "We have no business facing a demon, even with _you _beside us...."

"I am aware of that, Mistress Kohana," the butler replied. "Your father has entrusted me with your safety. It may be wise to leave you and Miyuki here...."

"No!" Miyuki pleaded. "Just get me close enough to get a clear shot...."

XXX

Akane charged up the mountain in the direction the scream had come from, sliding on the slippery slope. _Please_, she prayed. _Please, God in heaven, whoever is up there, let Ranma be alright. _She fell, her hands sinking into wet mud. She clawed and crawled, managed to gain her feet, and ran.

The shadow of a building rose before her. Her eyes widened as she recognized an old, abandoned temple. The flicker of a fire came from within....

Akane ran to the entrance, then stopped. She took in the scene before her in a glance: A frog-like demon with many horns, standing nearly ten feet tall. Genma lying on the ground, softly sobbing. A glowing fire. And there, near the fire, a bald boy. At least, the head, arms, and torso....

Her eyes closed tight. _Kami in heaven._ Was that Ranma? She wasn't sure. She didn't want to know.

There was no time to think. Akane already knew what to do. She gathered as much anger as she could possibly muster. She opened her eyes, staring straight ahead at the frog demon. "Kami no Ikari!" she yelled, thrusting her hands forward. A bright blue ball of chi flashed forth.

The demon was knocked into a wood pillar. Timber split with a sharp sound. Almost instantly, it rolled and roared at her, thrusting forth the black spurs on its arms. "Black Ice Blades!" it yelled. Blades of energy slammed into Akane, cutting her and knocking her backwards into the rain and mud.

A low, rumbling, croaking laughter came from the doorway of the temple.

"Silly mortal snack," the demon rumbled. "I'll deal with you in due time. But first, I must feast on a despair such as I have not felt in eons. Nothing tastes so sweet as a mortal's emotions, particularly negative ones. Fear, dread, and despair... I shall truly enjoy this...."

Before Akane's eyes, the demon seemed to shimmer and fade. There came a horrible groaning from within the temple. Genma staggered out, his eyes lifeless. Rain washed over him, yet he remained human.

"Oh, such sweet despair!" he groaned. It was Genma's mouth that moved, but the voice was that of the demon. "It tastes so much better than the mere flesh of his son!"

There was a blending and morphing as Genma shifted into panda form. He continued to morph. Six horns sprouted from his head. His mouth grew wide and his eyes grew large. Knife-edged black blades sprung from his arms. He grew taller... much taller. In moments, he'd become a hybrid creature, part panda, covered in black and white fur with round panda ears, and part demonic frog with a huge head, huge mouth, and huge yellow eyes.

The creature turned its gaze upon Akane. "Now, girl, I will show you what a _real_ chi blast is capable of. Your blast was built on anger, but the technique I know best builds on deep despair to launch a heavy ball of chi force...."

"Ryoga's Shishi Hokadan," Akane whispered.

"Indeed!" The demon laughed. "You've heard of it? Oh, but I doubt you've ever witnessed it like this: the despair of this human is great enough to burst his heart. What can I do with _that_, I wonder? Shall we find out?"  
The demon thrust its arms up to the heavens. "SHISHI HOKADAN!" it bellowed in a voice that echoed off the hills. A tower of light shot into the sky. Akane stared. A ball of chi hovered hundreds of feet above them, impossibly large. It blocked out the sky. It hung there a moment, like the largest full moon ever, then it descended. Faster and faster it came.

There was nowhere to run.

Akane screamed as the chi blast hit. There was a deafening, explosive roar. Instantly the temple was obliterated, along with all vegetation within two hundred yards. The shock waves rolled out across the mountainside, toppling trees. A massive crater was all that was left behind.

The frog-panda demon bounded out of the hole. "Now _that_ was fun," it growled. "I think we have at least a couple more of those left in us, don't we, mortal snack? What shall we do with them, I wonder?"

XXX

Mr. Khan skidded to a halt. Ahead of them, a tower of light pierced the night sky, visible even through a sheet of rain.

"What the hell is that?" Miyuki exclaimed. She had her camera rolling.

The light faded. Suddenly a percussive boom shook the ground. The shock wave knocked them down, along with trees to either side of them.

"Mr. Khan got to his feet. He helped Miyuki and Kohana up. "That felt like a bomb going off," he said. He sniffed the air. "I smell no explosives. If I didn't know better, I might suspect a chi blast... but I've never heard of one so powerful."

"We're in over our heads, aren't we?" Kohana said.

Ukyo gripped her spatula. "You guys can stay back if you like," she said. "Ranma's up there, and I'm going to find him."

"Shampoo with Spatula Girl," the Amazon added.

"Konatsu, Sachiko," Mr. Khan said. "Shampoo, and Ukyo. Come with me. The rest of you girls stay here. It's too dangerous...."

Kohana nodded. As the others moved forward, she pulled out her cell phone and started dialing.

Akela frowned. "Kohana, who are you calling at a time like this?" she asked

"Reinforcements, of course," replied Kohana.

XXX

Akane lay nearly senseless on the mountainside. Ranma was dead. At least, she _thought _she'd seen his body... her mind didn't want to contemplate what she'd seen, or what the demon had said. Ranma's father had been possessed by a demon and would probably also soon be dead. She wasn't sure where her own father was, but it didn't really matter. Her life had been shattered, along with her bones. Her body was one massive ball of pain. She knew she was near death herself, and she was ready to welcome it.

She heard a popping sound, followed by three voices.

"Whoa. That_ really _turns your stomach." This was her sister Nabiki. She'd recognize that acerbic voice anywhere.

"Time travel usually does." This was a male voice, and unfamiliar.

"Time travel?" Nabiki muttered something under her breath. "Dammit, Octava, I didn't sign up for this. Where the hell are we?"

"In the mountains I think." This was the flat voice of Kohana Genji, nearly devoid of emotion. "He should be around here somewhere. I don't remember it well."

"Remember...?" Nabiki asked. "Okay, spill it. _When _are we?"

"Not that far back," Octava replied. "A month or two at most."

"And you don't remember, Kohana?" Nabiki asked.

"I was confused at the time," Kohana replied.

There was a long moment of silence, and Nabiki said, "Oh. This is when Genma...."

"Yes," Kohana said.

"Next question," Nabiki asked. "_Why _are we here?"

"Because," Kohana said. "I remember it. It's already happened, and therefore it _has _to happen. I didn't know what it meant at the time. I didn't put it together until later, until recently. Now hurry, we don't have much time. I'll be here soon."

"You're not making any sense, Kohana," Nabiki said.

Akane heard footsteps, as the three moved further away.

"Time travel doesn't make sense," Kohana replied. "Oh," she said in a softer voice. "Oh. Here he is."

"Oh. My. God." It was Nabiki's voice. "What happened? There's only half of him!"

"A demon happened to him," Kohana said in a subdued voice. "Look around. The other half should be nearby...."

Akane began to weep. So... what she had seen was true. Ranma _was_ dead. She'd only glimpsed his body for a moment... she'd hoped against hope that it had been a trick of the light, a delusion of some kind....

_Please wait for me, Ranma,_ she thought. _I'll be with you again soon..._

XXX

Four girls huddled under a tree on a hillside in the middle of a downpour.

"Honestly," Miyuki said, "calling in the cavalry? Private security forces and thugs?" She glared at Kohana and Yoriko. "Is this any way for a magical girl team to act?"

"You've got a 'Firey' Clow Card up your sleeve maybe?" Yoriko retorted, phone to her ear. "Wake up, Miyyki. We've got a demon up ahead, we just saw the magical equivalent of a nuclear detonation, and we're somewhat short in the Pretty Coquettish Bomber and Moon Tiara Action department. Kohana has the right idea. This is real, and I want my guys at my back."

Miyuki stared at Yoriko for a long moment. "Wow, Yoriko!" she exclaimed. "I'm really impressed. You _nailed _those magical girl references! Who knew you were secretly a fan of the genre?"

Yoriko gave her a withering look, but said nothing. Moments later she was talking into her phone.

"Toyama? It's me. Look, we got some seriously crazy shit going down here. I need backup. Yes. I don't know. The butler says it's a demon. Yes, I believe him. Bring Hideki with you, and whatever you think might be good against a demon...."

As she gave instructions, Miyuki fretted. "I'm not going to get _any_ good video footage at this rate," she muttered. "Can't we move up closer?"

Yoriko stared at her incredulously. "Miyuki, your friend might be injured or worse, and you're worried about taking pictures? You_ really_ are an annoying, clueless idiot aren't you?"

"Ranma will be okay," Miyuki said with conviction. "Ranma can't die. She's powerful. She's the main character."

"Miyuki, please shut up," Kohana said. She stared up the hill and into the rain.

"Why did we let her come, anyway?" Yoriko muttered. "We should have tied her up and left her at the restaurant."

Akela placed her arm about Miyuki. "Guys," she said. "Miyuki's worried too. She just doesn't know how to deal with it except by thinking of other things. And she _always_ thinks of the same things."

"Thanks, Akela," Miyuki said.

"No problem," Akela replied. "We're all a bit worried."

"I just wish I could've had the new uniforms ready for everyone to wear," Miyuki added.

Akela frowned at her. "Miyuki...." she warned.

"Yeah, I know," Miyuki replied. "I'm obsessed. I'm an idiot. I can't help it."

Kohana said, "At least try to think of something constructive."

Miyuki watched Kohana. "So. Our first big emergency," she said. "Nabiki and Kaida are left behind, I'm only here because you're humoring me, and you're making the decisions. When you turned down a title of club President, you said that you preferred to rule from the shadows. Is this what you meant?"

For a moment there was no sound but the steady fall of rain. "Somebody has to take charge," Kohana finally replied. "You and Kaida aren't suited for it, and I don't trust Nabiki."

A bell tolled. Kohana pulled out her phone. "Yes? Okay. Good." She put the phone back in her pocket. "They're on their way," she said.

Further up, someone cursed. There was a yelp, and a then someone slid down the hillside. He landed in a muddy heap five feet from the girls. There was the strong smell of alcohol.

"Kohana," Miyuki said, "there's a drunk guy...." Automatically she began filming.

"I see him," Kohana replied. "Don't worry. He's human."

"I never said he _wasn't_...."

The stranger sat up and looked wildly around. "Save yourselves!" he yelled. "It's horrible! A giant frog demon two stories tall! It... it bit the boy in half! Oh, there was blood everywhere... we must flee!"

"What boy?" Kohana demanded.

"The boy that was a girl," the priest said. "He poured water on her and she became a he, and then he smashed the rock and... oh, it had long horns and sharp teeth, I've never seen anything like it...." The man was babbling.

"Where did the demon come from?" Kohana demanded.

"He summoned it! He wanted it to remove a curse... the one that turns a girl into a boy, or a boy into a girl. I don't know. He tried to bargain with it! Then it bit that poor boy in half! All that blood!" The man gripped Kohana's arm. "Please, you've got to save me! We're not safe! It's coming for us all... oh, kami, I need a drink...." He scrambled to his feet and stumbled off into the darkness.

Miyuki looked terrified. Tears rolled down her face, visible even though she was already wet from the rain. "Oh, gods. He was talking about Ranma, wasn't he?"

The others were crying, too, even Yoriko. Kohana looked away. "I... I don't know," she said. "I...."

There was a strange grunting sound further up the hill, followed by a deep rumble. It was not a human sound, nor any animal the girls knew of. Immediately following this came sounds of fighting.

"Kohana," Miyuki said, "They're not that far off. The blast we saw earlier was a lot further up. Maybe... maybe we should circle around and see... and see if...."

"I'll go," Kohana said grimly. "You three stay here."

XXX

The demon loomed out of the darkness, a massive black shadow against a gloomy gray backdrop. It was at once tall and yet somehow squat, with short legs, a fat stomach and a humped back. Long blade-like spurs jutted from huge furred forearms. Large, frog-like yellow eyes shined through the gloom as it turned their way. It seemed to waddle or hop when it moved, but it was deceptively quick. In a flash it landed before them. They saw black and mud-white panda-patterned fur, but it's head and mouth were huge like a frog. Six horns crowned its head. It grinned, revealing rows of razor-sharp teeth. It smelled of blood, and the swamp.

"Stay back!" Mr. Khan yelled. "Let me deal with it!" The girls obeyed. Mr. Khan was over seven feet tall and powerfully built, but was dwarfed by the demon. There was something surreal about the butler in his tuxedo facing off against the creature. In a story it might have been romantic, but the girls only felt fear.

The demon croaked, low and guttural. Its belly began to expand. It glowed a dull yellow. Then the creature opened its mouth, and a huge ball of energy shot out.

Mr. Khan was engulfed. Energy crackled like fire. The others felt an intense heat, even from a dozen feet away. It dissipated, and Khan stood there, his clothing burned. Steam rose from blistered skin.

"Khan!" Ukyo yelled. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," the butler replied. His skin bubbled and warped. He seemed to shift and morph. Suddenly, where a tall man with dark skin had stood, there was a green-skinned ogre with yellowed tusks and oni horns. Without his disguise Mr. Khan was even larger – at least eight feet tall, nearly as large as the demon itself.

The frog-panda demon began to laugh. It was a deep, rumbling sound that shook the ground. "Why, hello there, little ogre," it croaked. "Do you think it's wise for a creature such as you to oppose one such as me, the great Guagua? You_ really _should know better, but as mortals say, it's your funeral...."

Mr. Khan leaped. He was incredibly quick. He landed several punches and then a powerful kick. The demon was knocked back, but only a few feet. He hopped about trading blows with the ogre, slicing with his forearm blades. Khan jumped back, and the frog demon yelled, "Black Ice Blades!" He swung his arms down, letting loose a barrage of intensely cold energy blades that ripped and tore the ogre.

The frog demon's tongue whipped out. It was a bright yellow-orange as if on fire. Khan knocked it away with his forearm. There was a further sizzling and the stench of burning flesh. Khan winced.

Guagua laughed. "You'd better get serious," the demon said, "or this won't be any fun at all."

In response, Mr. Khan drew forth, seemingly from nowhere, a long curved blade made of bone. He leaped forward, slashing. Guagua backed away, blocking each blow with his arm spurs. "My, that's an interesting weapon you have there," he rumbled. "I think I don't want you poking me with that. Someone could get hurt." The demon lashed out with a twisting of his arm blades. The blade was caught and ripped from the ogre's hands. It flew straight and buried itself in a limb high above.

Guagua croaked merrily. "Is that all you have, puny creature?" it asked. It's stomach expanded again and it belched another ball of fire-y energy. Khan was blasted backwards into the trunk of a pine tree.

Guagua glared at the others. "Did you poor mortals come to save your friends? The boy who turns into a girl, plus the girl who came to save him? What a pity, for you are far too late. They are dead, you know. Even this panda man I've inhabited will soon be dead. I can feel his body breaking under the strain. But then, why should you care? You'll also be dead quite soon."

Khan launched himself at the demon yet again. It blocked his attack easily and then thrust one arm-blade through the ogre's chest. "I'm afraid you weren't much of a diversion, in the end," it said. Mr. Khan fell to his knees. The demon slashed again across the throat, nearly decapitating the ogre. Khan collapsed in the mud.

Ukyo screamed and leaped forward, slashing with her battle spatula. Shampoo followed, grim-faced, swinging her war clubs. Guagua easily blocked both attacks and swatted them aside. Sharp metal blades buried themselves in the demon's hide. It spun and lashed out with its Black Ice Blade attack once again. Icy energy blades shredded a figure leaping high overhead, but all that fell to the ground was a lump of wood dressed in a black and red tartan lolita dress.

Guagua laughed. "Not bad! If you all attack me at once, you might just annoy me, like monkeys pelting a tiger with their dung. But do the monkeys have any hopes of felling the tiger? I think not...."

"Shinmei-ryu Ultimate Secret Technique: Thunderclap Sword, Second Form!" Sachiko slashed down with her sword. Energy slashed out and struck the demon, who stumbled backwards. A red line divided the demon from top to bottom. For a moment it seemed ready to split in two. It's skin morphed as if it were trying to transform. Then the line faded. It shook its head, as if to clear it.

"Raimeiken Ni-no-Tachi," the demon rumbled. "A technique for slicing a demon while it possesses a mortal, without harming the mortal. Oh, very good. Very, very good! Unfortunately, your form is off. You've never _faced _a demon with that attack before, have you? You're only a child, after all. Still, if I were a lesser demon you might have had me...."

Sachiko spun and twisted in the air. "Iron Cutting Flash!" she called out. The demon stumbled as a spiraling chi attack hi it. Sachiko landed and immediately followed with a more powerful attack. "True Lightning Sword!" Lightning flashed white. There was a booming thunderclap and an explosion that knocked trees down in all directions. The demon was knocked to its knees.

Guagua laughed even harder. "Ho! I recognize these moves!" it croaked. "You are a daughter of the The Shinmei-ryu then? I'm impressed! Were you older, you might prove a worthwhile opponent...."

More tiny blades buried themselves in the demon's hide – throwing stars from overhead, and small spatulas from his right. Shampoo appeared on his left. A massive war club slammed into the demon's jaw. Sachiko attacked from three directions at once, and then Konatsu (dressed now in his usual patchwork red ninja outfit) did the same. For a moment, it seemed as if eight girls were attacking rather than just four.

Guagua snarled, slashing out with his arm blades. Two of the kunoichi were sliced in two. They vanished into mist. Two of the swordswomen were likewise cut in half, leaving only pieces of paper to drift to the ground.

Shampoo was not as lucky. The demon caught her across the neck and shoulder with a deep slash. Blood flowed as she stumbled back in shock. She collapsed to the ground, bleeding.

The demon spun and launched his Black Iron Blades again. Ukyo blocked with her spatula but blades slicked into her legs and arms. She cried out and fell.

"Mistress Ukyo!" Konatsu cried out. He swooped down to scoop her up. The demon tossed more Black Iron Blades at him, but the kunoichi vanished in a flash.

"Sneaky ninjas, multiple body techniques, shikegami, even," the demon muttered, turning. "Who knew things could get so interesting...?"

"Shinmei-ryu Ultimate Secret Technique: Attack of The Demon Slashing Wind!" Sachiko yelled as her blade came down. A massive blast of chi hit the demon and exploded.

The demon was blown high into the air. The maelstrom flattened everything around it that hadn't previously been knocked down. Only the tall pine tree remained standing.

Guagua spun in the air. He faced downwards. Again his stomach swelled, and he belched a ball of burning chi. He did this so quickly that Sachiko was caught off-guard. The blast pounded her into the ground.

The demon plunged to earth. It landed, wincing. One hop brought it to where Sachiko lay. It buried both forearm blades into her chest.

"Had you been older and better trained, that would have really hurt," the demon rumbled.

It glanced up. At the edge of the ever-expanding clearing, four more mortals watched it in horror. Two were girls – a short, stocky, dark-skinned girl with curly black hair and a much taller girl with very long black hair. The other two were young, muscular men.

The taller girl drew a sword. "Toyama, Hideki. Back me up," she commanded.

XXX

Rain fell down. Akane lay in the mud, eyes closed, waiting for death to come. Nearby she heard voices – those of Nabiki and Kohana, and of someone else, a male called Octava.

"But...how did this happen?" Nabiki asked. "I don't remember Ranma being hurt like this... "

"Of course not," Kohana replied. "First of all, you weren't here, and second of all, _we _were here before anyone else showed up."

"But I thought he helped out in the fight...."

"He did," Kohana replied. "That's why we're here. Don't you _get_ it yet? Ranma isn't _supposed _to die. If Ranma _does_ die, then how can she be alive in the future? It's only because _we're_ here now."

"I'm supposed to heal him?" Nabiki asked. "But how can I heal this? He's cut in half!"

"You restored that Chocolate Chip creature from just its head, didn't you?" Kohana asked.

Akane was having trouble following the conversation. Healing? Chocolate Chip creature? Was she hearing a real conversation, or was she just hallucinating?

"Yes, but... that wasn't anyone I knew, or even a human, just some weird magical construct...." Nabiki replied. "Anyway, doesn't all of this create some sort of time paradox?"

"Too much meddling can, that's true," Octava replied. "But we should be okay."

"Oh, _should," _Nabiki said. "I'm_ so_ relieved to hear that."

"Now, before you do anything," said Octava, "Ranma's soul needs to be called back to his body. Otherwise it won't work. And only _you_ can do that, Nabiki."

"I can? Only me?"

"Yes. You are the one with the powers of healing," Octava replied. "Therefore you're _also_ the only one who can travel to the edge of the world of the dead and bring Ranma back. This you _must_ do."

There was a long moment of silence, then Nabiki muttered, "Some day you're going to have to explain how you picked _me _for this job. Well, okay, what do I do....?"

The voices faded as Akane drifted further from the world. _Wait for me, Ranma. I'm coming._

XXX

Yoriko lunged with her sword. She was not an amateur with the blade, but she had nothing like Sachiko's skill or training. The demon grinned toothily as she buried her blade into its arm. Then it swatted with a massive fist.

Yoriko's gangsters leaped in with their own weapons. These were thugs who would give a normal person pause, even those with combat training. Guagua picked them up and tossed them aside.

Against her better judgment, Akela also launched an attack. She was knocked away with one powerful punch. She felt her ribs crack. She flew backwards, her head striking a rock. She rolled and then lay still.

Konatsu appeared again. Of all those to attack the demon, he had so far avoided injury, but the kunoichi had few attacks geared to take out such a creature. He spun about the demon, slashing with his blades, but doing little real damage. Still, he was _just_ fast enough to avoid the demon's attacks.

Yoriko got shakily to her feet. She retrieved her blade.

"You little gnats have been fun," the demon said, "but I think it's time to end this little farce. The ogre was amusing, and the shinmei-ryu student was almost a credible opponent. But I'm through playing games. Inside this mortal I've possessed is a deep well of crushing despair. Shall we let it out?"

The creature raised his palms heavenward. "SHISHI HOKODAN!" it bellowed.

The heavy ball of chi rose into the air. For a moment it was a bright tower of light. Then it descended with crushing force.

Yorkiko turned. At the edge of the clearing, camera rolling, stood Miyuki. "Miyuki, you fool!" she screamed. Yoriko ran forward. She leaped, landing on top of Miyuki just as the blast struck.

As the rubble settled, Guagua looked around and laughed. A large crater was all that was left of the hillside. Everyone who had opposed him was unconscious or dead.

"Well, this has been an amusing night so far," he said. "What's next? Is that all? But I _do_ think we have one more blast like that left in us, don't we?"

The demon paused. There was a steady, thumping sound coming from the sky and growing louder. He turned and looked up "What's this then?" he asked. "Mortals who can fly? How interesting!"

XXX

Kohana saw the tower of chi shoot up into the sky. She heard the resulting explosion, just as she'd heard previous smaller explosions. Whatever was happening further down the hillside, it didn't sound good. However, there was nothing she could do about it. She had to find Ranma and Akane, to see if what the crazy drunk had told them was true.

She slipped in the mud. Kohana gritted her teeth. She didn't _want _to be here, in the mud and the rain, and she most certainly didn't _want _to find what she already knew was waiting for her on the hill above.

_I won't cry_, she told herself. _Until I see for myself, I've no reason to cry. Nor do I have the time to waste. Things need to be done...._

Kohana called herself a witch. She especially believed in the kind of witchcraft exemplified by the fictional Granny Weatherwax. Whenever in doubt, Kohana just asked herself: What Would Granny Weatherwax Do? She knew what Granny would say to her: a witch is the person who does what needs to be done.

This needed to be done.

Kohana clawed and scrabbled up the muddy hillside. She reached the lip of a large depression – the results of the first chi blast they'd seen. Ahead, she heard voices. Some of them sounded familiar....

XXX

Ranma drifted in a world of nothingness. There was no feeling. This surprised him, as he recalled intense pain only a moment ago... or was that a lifetime ago?

He was standing on the edge of a gray, lifeless sea. There were no waves, only an endless expanse of water spreading out into the distance like sheet steel. The rocks on the shore were black. The sky was black. There were no stars.

Ranma sat on a rock. He felt a need to cross the water. Was he supposed to swim? Perhaps a boat would come?

He felt hair against his shoulders. He reached up and touched it. Curly hair, like he'd worn it for the last two weeks. Had his father not cut it, then?

He blinked, remembering suddenly being tied up in the old temple, his father summoning the demon, the pain of being bitten in two....

He was dead, then.

Ranma had always believed in an afterlife, but he'd never really thought too much about it. What would come next? He'd cross the water, and then what? Heaven? Hell? Would he meet his grandparents? Would he be reincarnated?

He glanced down at himself. He was naked. His body looked odd. He realized it was an amalgam of his male and female bodies. He had small breasts, not as large as he was used to, a waist that was less narrow and hips that curved outward only slightly... his male genitals hung between his legs, and his body seemed leaner and more muscular than his usual female self. What did _that_ mean? If he was dead, then why wasn't he completely a guy?

He heard footsteps behind and turned. His eyes threatened to pop out of his head. Standing there was Nabiki Tendo, dressed in a pastel green lolita-style babydoll dress with puffed sleeves and a ruffled white apron. Peeking from beneath the short hem were frilly white petticoats and white fishnet stockings. The hem was decorated with green limes.

Nabiki held a white rabbit in her arms. She seemed to be glowing, too. She was surrounded by a green light. It was something other than a battle aura, although Ranma wasn't sure _what_ it was.

"There you, are, Saotome," she said. "I thought I'd never find you."

Ranma stared at her for a long moment, then said, "Now I _know_ I'm dead, because you'd never dress like that in the land of the living."

"Oh, very funny, Saotome," Nabiki replied sourly. "Can we move things along? I'm here to rescue you." She held out her hand. "You must come with me."

"Go where?" Ranma asked. "And Nabiki, _why_ are you dressed like that?"

"I'm here because you're dead, and you're not supposed to be," Nabiki replied. "And I'm dressed like this because I'm a bona-fide magical girl. See?" She held up the snow white rabbit. "I got the cute animal sidekick and everything!"

"Careful," the bunny said. "You drop me here and I'm dead."

"Yeah, like _that _would be any great loss," Nabiki replied. "This is Octava," she added. "You can blame him for this, if you like."

Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Am I in hell then?"

"Stop," Nabiki said, "You're slaying me. Literally. This is the land of the dead, and every moment I tarry here drains life out of me. As to why I'm here... that's because only someone with my gifts can travel here without dying. You see, I'm Healer Girl, whether I asked to be or not. Although I suppose I _did _ask, come to think of it."

"Healer Girl? Nabiki, you're not making any sense."

"Of course not." Nabiki reached out to grab his hand. He was surprised at how warm it was – almost so hot that it burned. "Now, don't let go," she said. "Just follow me. This will all make a lot more sense in about a month or two. For now, why not just assume I'm just a near-death delusion of some sort."

"You're not real?"

"There, see?" she said. "You've got the hang of it already!"

Nabiki led him away from the shoreline. Ranma took several steps, and paused. He could feel the water calling to him.

"Nabiki, I think I'm supposed to go that way," Ranma said. "I"m supposed to cross the water."

"No, Saotome," Nabiki replied. "That way leads to the afterlife. Your body's back this way."

"My body...?" Ranma paused, and said with more conviction, "Nabiki, I can't go back. I'm dead. My body was torn in two. There's no return for me, I can feel it in my soul."

"Yeah, well, humor me for a minute," Nabiki replied. "Maybe your instincts are wrong. I'm Healer Girl, remember?"

"Nabiki," Ranma said, "that's about the stupidest magical girl name I've ever heard.".

"Don't be dense, Saotome," Nabiki replied. "My official name is Pretty Angel Lime. And _yes, _I do realize that's not much better. Now, come."

They passed through a wall of darkness. If not for the painfully hot grip of Nabiki's hand, Ranma would have been lost. Then, suddenly, the black fog faded. They were standing in a crater, on the side of a mountain. It was muddy, but the rain had momentarily stopped.

Ranma looked about. "This is where the temple was, isn't it?" he said. "What happened?"

"A demon happened," Nabiki replied. "I don't know more than that, sorry."

Ranma suddenly ran ahead. "Akane! Akane!" The youngest Tendo sister was lying among the rubble, her body bruised and broken. Ranma reached out to touch her. His hand went right through her.

"I can't touch her," Ranma said, panic rising in his voice.

"You're dead, Saotome," Nabiki replied. You can't touch _anybody_."

"I touched you!" Ranma stated.

"Yes, but I'm a special case," Nabiki said. "I explained that."

"Nabiki, I think Akane is dying...." Ranma said.

"She _is_ dying, Saotome. She's not dead yet, or you'd see her spirit. Now get over here!"

Ranma spun, eyes wide. "You can heal her, right? I want you to heal her!"

"I will," Nabiki said. "But _you_ first, Saotome. My sister is not dead yet. _You_ are."

"No!" Ranma growled. "I want you to heal Akane first! I won't cooperate until I know she's going to be alright!"

Nabiki stared back at him with hard eyes. "Listen, Saotome, this is no time for heroics. I have only a few minutes to do this. Do you honestly _think_ I would save you and leave my sister to die? Akane can wait. _You_ can't. Now _get over here this instant!"_

"Do as Nabiki says." The voice was very familiar – a near-monotone, almost devoid of emotion. Ranma turned. Kohana stood just a few feet away, eyes regarding him steadily. She was dressed in a dark outfit similar to Nabiki's, and wore her witch's hat.

"Kohana?" Ranma said. "You're here too? You can see me?"

"Oh yes," she replied. "I _am _a witch, remember? Now, go stand by Nabiki and do as she says. We have little time."

Ranma obeyed. He glanced down at his mangled body. More than mangled – there were two separate pieces there.

"Gods, look at me," he said. "There's no way I could survive that."

"You didn't survive it, obviously," Nabiki snapped. "But let's see what a little Magical Girl ex Machina can accomplish. Now, hang tight, got it? If you feel a sudden urge to inhabit your body again, then go for it."

"I ain't inhabiting that ugly corpse," Ranma said.

"I said, hang tight."

As Nabiki prepared to cast her spell, Ranma asked, "Kohana, do you know why I look like a mix between girl and boy?"

"This form represents your soul, of course," Kohana replied. She flashed an almost-smile. "Think about it, Saotome."

Just then Nabiki yelled out, "Pretty Angel Lime Sour Mystical Healing!" and the world turned a brilliant emerald green.

XXX

Soun Tendo stirred and opened his eyes. He was wet. Mud clung to his hair, his clothes, his arms. Somewhere nearby he heard a loud boom. The ground shook.

Soun sat up. His senses, honed through years of training, told him that this was no ordinary explosion. This was a chi blast – and a massive one, at that.

_Ranma_? he thought. There were few fighters he knew capable of such power.

Then he thought: _Where is Akane? _ That girl would ruin everything. He blinked, recalling how she'd blasted him.

_Akane_ had blasted him. A _chi _blast! His own daughter had learned such an attack! He was filled with pride. What had she yelled again? Wrath of Heaven? Yes, that _was _a good name – an attack based on unbridled fury.

Akane had _blasted_ him. Him! Her father, her sensei, the head of the household. Righteous anger filled him in turn. What was that girl thinking? Had she no respect?

Akane had blasted_ him_. In anger! His little girl hated him! Tears flowed down his face. He couldn't bear to have her against him.

Further down the mountainside there was a bright flash. Soun stared, awestruck, as a tower of chi energy arose into the night sky. The heavy ball of chi descended with a deep, crashing boom that shook the mountainside.

Soun recognized the Shishi Hokodan. It was the Hibiki boy's special attack, but he'd never been known to produce one this powerful.

Something was very wrong. Soun had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. How long had he been out? He should head to the abandoned temple, the arranged meeting place, but... he stared down the mountainside. Something was happening below – a monumental fight of some sort. As a martial artist, he knew he could not ignore it. Then again, Ranma or Akane were likely involved.

His mind made up, Soun slipped and slid down the muddy slope towards the source of the chi blast.

As Soun entered the blast area, his eyes grew wide. He was no fool. He recognized what he saw – a powerful demon that looked a bit like a frog, and a bit like a panda. Genma had shown to Soun the stone frog and explained what he planned to do with it. Soun could put two and two together.

He saw the bodies lying strewn about the area as well. This was his responsibility.

Grim-faced, Soun stepped forward. Overhead, he heard a helicopter approaching, but his focus was on the demon.

XXX

Toshio Tsuda had been a member of the Honda Estate Security Forces for two years. It was a good job. True, some of the people he worked for seemed odd. The elder daughter Kohana claimed to be a witch. Some said the butler Khan was an ogre. He was familiar with the rumors about Mr. Honda – that he was descended from a long line of priests and magicians, that he himself knew magic. But when you were employed in the private army of one of the richest and most powerful men in Japan, you ignored such talk and did what you were told.

Toshio had never seen anything like he was seeing now. A ball of energy large enough to blow a small crater in the side of a mountain, summoned by sheer will alone. A ten-foot-tall demon with horns, claws, and glowing eyes. He circled the helicopter in closer. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" he asked.

His copilot Tommy merely nodded. "I see it," he replied. "But I don't believe it."

In the back, the third member of their crew leaned out the side of the chopper. "I have it in my cross hairs," Nikko said. "Damn, that's one ugly S.O.B."

Toshio keyed his comm. "Base, we have a visual of the demon. Awaiting orders."

There was a pause. "Do you have a loc on Mistress Kohana?"

"Further up the mountain, well away from the demon," Toshio replied.

"Good, then. You have permission to take it out. Be careful."

"Understood." Toshio glanced back at Nikko. He flashed thumbs up. "Fire when ready," he said.

The demon was watching them almost casually. "What's in those bullets?" Tommy asked.

"Buddhist scriptures, wards and spells to banish demons, that sort of thing." Toshio replied. "You'd have to ask the old man for specifics."

Nikko squeezed the trigger. The demon screamed in pain, clutching its eye.

"You shot it's eye?" Toshio asked, pulling the helicopter up and around the demon.

"Always go for the head," Nikko replied. "Besides, I've no idea where that thing's heart is. I can find out when it's dead."

"What's it doing?" Tommy said. "Its stomach is glowing...."

"Crap!" Tommy exclaimed. "Get us out of here now! Get us...."

Nikko fired a second shot. This missed its target as the helicopter swerved away. A ball of fire broadsided the chopper. One of the blades snapped. It spun and plunged to the earth.

"We're going down!" Toshio yelled out. "We're going...."

The chopper plowed into the mountainside. The demon Guagua laughed. It was limping and bleeding from many wounds, and holding its wounded eye, but it seemed in good spirits.

"I grow weary of these attacks," it said. "I sense a town nearby, with many mortals. I have one good Shishi Hokodan left before this mortal fades. Let's see how much damage we can cause."

XXX

Akane drifted in a deep sleep. She heard voices, but couldn't make out what was being said. Her body was cold, but at least the rain had stopped.

Sudden warmth shot through her body. It enveloped her and comforted her. She felt a kinship to that warmth... like when her older sister Kasumi would hold her and sooth her when she was young. It drove the pain away. Akane suddenly felt much, much better.

She heard her sister's voice – not Kasumi's, but Nabiki's. "That's as much as I can do. I'm almost completely spent...."

"You've done enough," another voice replied. This sounded like Kohana. "We really need to leave, before...."

There was a pause, and then Kohana said. "Nabiki? What are you doing here? I thought you stayed at the restaurant?"

"Oh, crap," Nabiki said.

"Who's with you?" Kohana continued. "Why does she look like me?" For perhaps the first time ever, Akane heard some actual emotion in Kohana's voice – confusion, and a bit of panic.

"Octava," Kohana said, "get us out of here. Now." This time Kohana spoke in her usual controlled, emotionless tone. But to Akane, it seemed as if Kohana's voice was coming from two directions at once.

A male voice began to chant words that Akane didn't recognize. "Wait!" Kohana exclaimed. "What are you...."

There was a ringing noise, followed by a soft "pop". A long stretch of silence followed.

Akane felt a hand on her forehead. "Akane?" Kohana asked. "Are you okay?"

Akane opened her eyes. Her witch friend was looking down at her with concern. "I... I don't know, I...." Akane stirred. She sat up. "Actually... I thought I was dying but suddenly I feel much better...."

Kohana smiled – really, truly smiled. "That's good to hear," she said.

Akane looked about. "Where's Nabiki?" she asked.

"Nabiki?" Kohana replied. "She's back at the restaurant, of course. We didn't let her come, remember?"

"But I heard you talking to her," Akane insisted.

"You must have imagined it," Kohana replied. "Have you seen Ranma?"

Akane's face darkened. "Ranma... is dead...." she said.

"Wait. I see him." Kohana moved several feet away. "He looks fine, Akane," she called out. "He's just unconscious."

Akane stood. Her legs felt weak. She stepped carefully over to where Kohana knelt beside a bald, male Ranma, bare from the waist up. "But... I _saw_ his body... it had been ripped in two...." She paused, and placed a hand on Ranma's black silk trousers. They were torn and soaked with a dark, sticky substance....

"This is a lot of blood, Kohana," Akane said. "I _didn't_ imagine it."

Just then Ranma opened his eyes. "Am I alive?" he croaked. "Did it work?" He saw Akane and grabbed her. "Akane! You're alive!"

Akane buried her face in Ranma's chest. She began to cry. "Oh, Ranma!" she sobbed. "I'm so relieved. You _were_ dead, weren't you?"

"I... I think I was," Ranma replied. "Or was it a dream? Kohana, you're still here. Where did Nabiki and the talking bunny go?"

"Talking bunny?" Akane asked.

Kohana frowned. "Listen, you two," she said. "Whatever you thought you saw, it's probably best if you say nothing to the others. Nabiki won't understand. I'm quite sure that she's back at the restaurant and _has _been this whole time."

"What are you talking about, Kohana? I _saw_ her. She _healed_ me. And then she healed Akane."

"Ranma," Kohana replied, "Does the Nabiki you know have such abilities?"

"Well, no, but...."

"I saw them too," Kohana replied. "They were here when I arrived. Nabiki, the rabbit, _and_ me. Only it wasn't _me_. At least, not the me that I know...."

Ranma and Akane just stared at her in confusion. Kohana said, "I can't explain it either. They must have come from somewhere else... another dimension, or a different time.... For now, it's best if you both just think of what you experienced as some sort of near-death vision or hallucination...."

They heard another voice behind them. "There you are, Once and Future Son-In-Law. Are you well?"

They turned. Cologne was there, balanced on her staff. Beside her stood Mousese and also a tall, regal whit-haired man in black robes.

"Greetings, Grandfather," Kohana said.

"Akane Tendo, Ranma Saotome, Sisters of the Joketzu Tribe," said Cologne. "I need you to aid me in banishing a demon."

XXX

"Yoriko? Are you okay?" Miyuki struggled to shove the yakuza girl off of her. She rolled her over and sat up. Yoriko was bruised and unconscious. She didn't look good. "You damned stupid fool," Miyuki swore. She stared to cry. "Why did you have to do that? What am I to you anyway?"

She felt for a pulse, and found it. "Good. That's something," she said. "Now, don't go dying on me. If you die trying to save me then I'll never let you live it down....."

Miyuki glanced about. Everywhere there was devastation. Her eyes fell on another body ten feet away – that of her good friend Sachiko. She lay in a pool of blood, two gaping holes in her chest.

"Sachiko!" Miyuki screamed, scrambling to her friend's side. The body was cold. Miyuki frantically felt for a pulse. It was there, but very faint.

Tears rolled down Miyuki's face. "Sachiko, please don't die. You _can't_ die. I don't know what I would do with myself...."

Before Ranma, Sachiko had been the most amazing girl Miyuki had ever met. She was quiet and tended to fade into the background, but she was a fantastic artist and an even better swordswoman. Initially Miyuki had wanted to write a magical girl story starring Sachiko, but her friend had refused. Sachiko was the only one who could draw it, so that had been that. But she'd promised to draw Miyuki's comic if a different heroine was found.

Miyuki collapsed next to Sachiko's body, sobbing.

Something exploded not far off. Miyuki heard sirens. She glanced up and looked about. The demon was still standing, not far away. It turned her direction.

"Oh, so one of you is still alive?" it rumbled. "Well, I can solve that...."

XXX

Back at Uchan's restaurant, the doors were locked, the lights were low, and it was quiet enough to hear the tick of the clock on the wall. Tomari, Rin, Kaida and Nabiki passed the time playing cards.

"You have a Queen?" Rin asked.

"No," Nabiki replied. "Go fish."

Kaida made a face. "Kami, this is _sooo _boring! I_ still_ say we should play strip poker."

"Pick whatever game you like," Nabiki said. "I'm still going to win."

"I wonder how they're doing out there?" Rin said.

"Not good," Tomari replied. "Mr. Khan's badly injured. Sachiko too. Possibly Yoriko as well as her two goons and the others. The demon knocked Shampoo, Ukyo and Konatsu about like rag dolls. It just took down our family's commando helicopter a minute ago. There's no word on injuries from the crash yet. I'm not even sure if anyone's left standing. It's already blown two craters in the side of the mountain with some sort of powerful chi blast, and... oh, wait. Kohana reports that Ranma and Akane are okay. That's good news, there was some crazy priest who claimed that Ranma had been killed... oh, Cologne's there now, with Grandfather...."

She glanced up from her laptop. "That's all I have at the moment," she said.

The other girls stared at her. "What?" Tomari said. "I'm logged into my family's security network. I've got a better overview of the battle than anyone actually involved in it."

"Tomari, what the hell?" Nabiki dropped her cards and scooted around the table. The other girls crowded in behind her.

"Gods, Tomari," Kaida exclaimed. "I thought you were surfing the web or something...."

"Oooh, look," Nabiki said. "There's a live video feed."

"Ah, good," Tomari said. "That's our pilot, Toshio Tsuda. Guess someone survived the crash... oh, and there's Nikko. That _is_ good news."

"Would you look at that beast?" Rin replied. "What the hell _is_ that? It looks kinda like a panda, but with horns and... frog eyes, I guess...."

"Holy hell," Nabiki cursed. "What's that fool Genma got himself into _this _time?"

"Wow," Kaida said. "Where's Inu-Yasha when you need him, anyway?"

"Daddy!" Nabiki exclaimed. "What the hell is he _doing_?"

"He's protecting Miyuki...." Tomari said. "Don't ask me why that fool is even on the battle field... taking pictures, I suppose...."

The quartet watched as two commandos set up a rocket launcher. White light flashed as the rocket fired. It hit the demon in the back with a fire-y explosion. The demon was knocked forward a dozen feet, skidding through the mud. It turned about, fixing its yellow eyes on the three commandos.

"Cripes!" Rin exclaimed. "Is it even _hurt_?"

XXX

Ranma and Akane stared at the stranger next to Cologne. Ranma could sense a strong battle aura – perhaps as strong as that of Cologne herself.

"This is Mr. Tochigi Honda," Cologne said. "He can help us banish the demon. Now, come." She set off down the mountain. The black-robed priest followed. They both seemed perfectly sure-footed on the muddy hillside – or at least, Mr. Honda was surefooted, while Cologne hopped along on her staff.

"Honda?" Ranma said, running to catch up. He glanced to Kohana, then back to the black-robed man.

"Indeed," the old man replied. "You seem to have gotten mixed up in a bit of trouble, Granddaughter."

"Yes, Grandfather," Kohana replied. "I'm trying to help my friends, but there isn't much I can do."

The old man glanced to Ranma and Akane. "Are you two well?"

"Yeah, I guess," Akane said.

Ranma glanced down at himself. "All healed up," he said. He traced a finger along a faint, jagged scar across his belly – the only thing left from his seemingly fatal encounter.

The old man was staring at the scar too. "That's good work," he said. "You have a healer here?"

"No, Grandfather," Kohana replied. "I... I'm not sure who it was exactly. They're gone now, but... one of them looked like me."

The old man raised an eyebrow. "I will expect a full debriefing later," he said.

"Of course, Grandfather," Kohana replied.

"Ranma," the old man said, "this demon has possessed your father. I can banish it, but if I do so while it is in Genma's body I risk harming him. It seems more powerful while in possession of a human body, especially that of a such a powerful martial artist. It will seek another as soon as it's out."

"Won't a banishing ward drive it out?" Ranma asked. "I know how to do a few of those...."

"No," said Mr. Honda. "For a demon like Guagua, only very specific and powerful wards will work. I have several prepared. I need you to drive the demon from your father's body."

Ranma nodded. Ahead of them, the demon loomed suddenly out of the darkness and gloom. "Leave that part to me," he said, cracking his fingers.

XXX

Miyuki froze as the demon turned to her. "One of you is still alive?" it said. "Well, I can fix that...."

She saw movement behind the demon. There was a man there in black military garb. He had what looked like a rocket launcher balanced on his shoulder.

There was a bright flash of light. The demon skidded forward as a rocket hit it in the back. Miyuki ducked down, covering Sachiko, as the night exploded into bright light.

The demon spun about angrily. Miyuki glanced up. She saw it swinging at the commando with its terrible claws. She shut her eyes, not wanting to see what came next.

After several moments of silence, she opened her eyes again. The demon towered over her.

"You're the last one," it said.

Miyuki knew she was about to die. Her last thought was, _I never even got to show Ranma our comic. I wish I could have seen her in the club's magical girl uniform..._

Then, improbably, a man was standing between her and the demon. He was tall with long dark hair and wore a brown, muddy martial artist's outfit.

"Get your friend out of here," he growled. "I'll hold it off."

Miyuki stared for a moment. Who was this guy? He was dressed as a martial artist, but... this demon had already taken nearly a dozen people down, including some of the best martial artists Miyuki had ever seen. This man was going to die.

Laughing, the demon swung a massive fist. The man managed to block it, though he slid several feet.

"Saotome, my friend!" the man yelled. "If you can hear me, fight back! Don't let this creature use you! Fight it!"

The frog deamon croaked a laugh. "Your panda friend is too far gone," he said. "When I killed his son, his world was shattered...."

"Ranma, dead?" the man replied. "No, that can't be true!"

"I'm afraid it is," Guagua replied. "As you will be in just a second...."

Miyuki scrambled to her feet. She grabbed Sachiko by the shoulders and pulled. She prayed to whatever gods might hear her. It didn't matter. The demon would kill the stranger in brown, and then it would kill her.

And then another pair of hands grabbed Sachiko. A man in a black suit lifted her up. "Come, run!" he said. Miyuki turned and ran after him.

More people were here. A helicopter came out of the sky. The man ran straight to it. As it landed, he placed Sachiko's body on board.

Behind her she heard a young man shouting. "Akane! Mr. Tendo! Mousse! Back me up!" She turned and saw a bald boy facing the demon. He wore black pants and was naked from the waist up. Akane was there, and the man in brown, hurt but still standing.

Miyuki's heart caught in her throat. Those pants... this was Ranma, as a boy. Ranma was still alive! But why was he bald?

There was also a tiny old woman balanced on a staff – Miyuki recognized Cologne. She saw Mousse, the boy who helped Cologne and Shampoo at the Nekohanten. Beside them was an old, white-bearded man in black robes. Miyuki's eyes went wide. She'd met Tomari's grandfather Mr. Tochigi Honda before, but he'd always worn a business suit. Kohana was there, too.

Akane yelled something. A blue ball of chi shot out from her hands, blasting the demon. Miyuki's stared in shock. Since when had Akane learned to do _that_?

Kohana tossed a much smaller ball of fire at the demon. Miyuki blinked. Kohana didn't know martial arts – did she?

The man in the black suit placed a hand on Miyuki's shoulder. "How many injured are there?" he asked.

"Nine, plus those in the chopper," Miyuki replied. Then she paused. Rising from the mud, she saw Mr. Khan, the Honda butler. He was still in his ogre form. He'd nearly been decapitated, but now there was only a long, red gash across his neck. "Or eight," she said. "There's Yoriko over there. She shielded me with her body – she's hurt bad. Shampoo's hurt bad too. Then there's Ukyo, Konatsu, Akela, Yoriko's two friends... there was a guy with a rocket launcher, he might be dead, I don't know. " She paused to look into the man's eyes. "Sachiko was the worst. Will she be okay?"

"She's lost a lot of blood," the man said. "I'm no doctor, but we'll do our best."

"I want to go with her," Miyuki said.

"No," the man replied. "We need to evacuate the wounded first."

Miyuki frowned, then nodded. As usual, she was more hindrance than help.

Ranma was attacking the demon now, dancing about it, avoiding all of its attacks. The others were attacking when the opportunity presented itself. People in black suits were pulling the others out of the mud and away from the fight. Cologne warned the others to stand back and stop attacking, and let Ranma handle it.

Miyuki began filming.

XXX

Back at Uchan's the girls were still gathered about Tomari's laptop. There were now more video feeds as more Honda estate staff arrived.

"Oh, look," Kaida said. "Reinforcements!" She stared at the screen a moment, and then added... "Uh... isn't that Akane and Kohana? There's some bald, bare-chested boy with them, and... an old man, and... a boy in white with a million weapons up his sleeves, and... a white-haired monkey on a pogo stick?"

"That's Cologne," Nabiki said. "Amazon Matriarch. She's good. The boy with glasses is Mousse, master of hidden weapons."

"The old man is my grandfather," Tomari added. "_He's _good, too. As for the bald boy, my guess is that he's Ranma."

"Ranma? Ranma's a girl...." Kaida started to say. She paused. They all knew that Ranma claimed to be a boy cursed to turn into a girl, but most of them had never _seen_ a male Ranma before.

"That's him, alright," Nabiki said. "Now things get interesting...."

XXX

The demon Guagua stared at Ranma in surprise. "You're still alive? I thought I bit you in half. You're very resilient for a mortal."

"I heal fast," Ranma replied. He felt no great need to explain exactly _how_ he'd been healed. Come to think of it, he wasn't sure he _could _explain it. "Nabiki came to me in the land of the dead, dressed like a magical girl..." No. Nobody was going to believe that. _He_ didn't believe it. Could it have possibly been a near-death delusional vision?

Ranma gritted his teeth, brushing all such thoughts aside. He had to focus on the task before him.

The rain had finally ceased, and floodlights lit up the hillside. More Honda employees were arriving every minute. The demon was surrounded, but it didn't seem concerned. It was limping. It bled from several dozen wounds. It's skin shuddered and shifted. It laughed.

"In that case, this time I will slice you into tiny pieces and burn them. Then I shall scatter your ashes to the four winds. How will you resurrect from that, I wonder?"

"I don't think I could," Ranma said.

"No," Guagua said, "you could not. Even I would be unable to do so, and I am much more than a mere mortal."

The demon dodged back as blue chi shot past it from one side. A small fireball sailed past from another direction.

"I guess I'll need to defeat you then," Ranma said.

The demon laughed harder. "Such impertinence! Do you really think one mortal could defeat me? You may try, if you like. Many have before you, and they are dead."

"I'm better than them," Ranma said.

"We shall see." The demon thrust its arm blades forward. "Black Ice Blades!" it yelled. Blades of icy black chi sliced through the air. Ranma dodged these, then winced. He shook his arm. Ice fell to the ground.

"Are my ice blades not very cold?" The demon grinned. "They need not even touch you to do freezing damage."

Ranma grimaced. "So I see."

Bladed weapons on chains flew at the demon. It swatted them away, not even glancing in Mousse's direction.

"Do you not fear being eaten again?" the demon asked.

"I was tied up last time," Ranma replied. "But feel free to try again if you like."

"Ah. Just as your father and some of your friends,. I see that you're a martial artist of note."

"They weren't as good as me," Ranma said. "I'm fresh and ready to fight, while you're beaten up. You can't last too much longer can you?"

The demon grinned. "True, this _body_ won't last much longer. As it isn't mine to start with, I really don't care."

The demon's fire-y tongue lashed out, quick as a whip. Ranma ducked low. He felt intense heat as it passed over him.

"Hot, isn't it?" the demon said. "I can blister your skin without making contact."

"That's a pretty powerful combination," Ranma replied. "Extreme heat and extreme cold, from the same opponent."

"Indeed! I am quite powerful. I have defeated many foes in battle with such attacks."

"But not powerful enough to defeat me."

"I have already defeated you once!" the demon roared.

"I'm no longer confined," Ranma replied. "Perhaps you should be tied up for our rematch. It would only be fair. Surely a demon of your power and skill could defeat me even so?"

"You did not mention my superior intelligence," Guagua croaked. "I'm far too smart to fall for such a trick. Talk all you want, foolish mortal; I'll not be taken in so easily."

It lashed out with its tongue of fire again and again. It's belly swelled and it spit a ball of fire-y chi, which Ranma dodged.

Nearby, Cologne tapped Akane and Kohana on the shoulder. "No more attacks, you two," she said. "That means you as well, Mr. Part Time. Stand back and watch. Don't interfere."

The demon continued to attack, and Ranma continued to dodge. He fell back and around, in a circle. "You are quick," the demon said. "You dodge my attacks. Why do you not attack in return? Show me this great strength you claim to possess! Or are you so afraid of hurting your Father?" The demon rumbled low with laughter. "Really, after what he did to you, you still have feelings for him? When will you mortals ever learn? Well, never fear, he is nearly dead already, but now that he knows you are alive he is fighting me. Sadly, I no longer have his despair to draw on for an attack. But how can you hope to defeat me without killing him, I wonder?"

"Pops is a martial artist," Ranma said. "He knows that I can't hold back. He would die for the art, just as I would."

"Brave words," the demon said. It lashed out with its arm blades. "I sense that, when it comes to his own life, your father has different thoughts on the matter...."

Ranma continued to fall back, circling around. Finally the demon began to chuckle. "You really _do_ take me for a fool, don't you? You lead me in a spiral." The demon laughed low and deep. "That's the Hiryu Shoten Ha. I know of it. Did you think you could catch me unaware? Did you think I would not recognize it? I know many fighting styles, even some that have not been practiced in a thousand years. All I need do is emit no heat, and your plan is defeated. This should not be hard for a cold-blooded frog demon such as myself, don't you think?" It flashed rows of sharp teeth. "Ice attacks only, then."

Guagua raised its arms high. "Now," it said, "you die. Black Ice Blades!"

Ranma dodged. He reached out, as if to catch the blades in his bare hands. They flashed by just out of reach, but his hands were suddenly covered with ice.

The demon laughed. "Trying to catch chi blades with your bare hands? What would _that_ accomplish?"

"Only this," Ranma replied. He swung upwards with a fist, shouting, "Hiryu Shoten Ha!"

Instantly the entire area was engulfed in a powerful wind storm. It sucked the demon up and up... higher than Ranma's attack had ever previously managed. Downed brush, trees, loose rocks and dirt were all sucked up into the swirling maelstrom.

The others scrambled to get out of the way. Soun grabbed Miyuki and drug her backwards – she was still trying to capture everything on film.

It was quite a while before Guagua returned to earth. He slammed into the ground, battered and broken.

Ranma stood over him. The demon looked up "No! Impossible! How did you...." the demon croaked.

"For such a powerful demon, you really ain't too bright," Ranma said. "You generate _both _extreme heat and extreme cold. You did all the work for me. You left residual heat all over the area from your attacks. All I needed was to combine that with the cold of your ice blades and launch my punch."

The demon started to chuckle, then coughed up blood. "Clever," it said. "Very clever. But the joke's on you, mortal. This fool's body is done for, but I need only leave it and I'm ready to fight anew....."

The body began to morph and twist. In moments only a beaten, bruised and bloody panda lay before Ranma. The air shimmered, and the frog demon Guagua was standing three feet away, looking as good as new.

"Do you see now, mortal snack?" The demon rumbled with a croaking laughter. "I am not harmed in the least. Well, mortal? Ready for round two?"

The demon glanced down. As beaten as it was, the panda held up a sign. "What's this?" Guagua asked. "Not dead yet? What does this sign say? Cradle of Hell? Now what does _that_ mea....."

"No, Pops!" Ranma yelled, but the panda was already springing into the air. Genma landed on the frog demon's back and wrapped his arms and legs about it in a death grip.

The demon spun about, flailing its arms, unable to reach Genma or shake him off. "Stupid fool! Get off of me! You are already dead! _Dead_! Let go! Let go!"

The ogre Khan charged forward. He held his long bone blade in his hands once again. He buried it the demon's side. The demon began to scream – a terrifying, inhuman sound.

Mr. Honda leaped forward, a flawlessly-inscribed paper ward in his hand. "I've got you now," he crowed. He slapped the ward on Guagua's forehead and yelled out, "Demon-B-Gone! Patent pending!"

XXX

In Uchan's, Nabiki frowned in perplexed annoyance. "Did he just say what I heard him say?" she asked.

"Grandfather has always wanted to market demon banishing spells on television," Tomari replied. "He has scientists developing an aerosol spray...."

XXX

Guagua screamed. His body writhed and shook. It spun about, faster and faster, becoming a blur. Suddenly there was nothing there but the panda that had been clamped to its back. The panda spun and dropped heavily to the ground.

Genma Saotome had never looked worse.

Ranma fell to his knees beside the broken panda body. "Pops? Are you okay? What the hell did you gotta do that for? We had it beat without you! You were already hurt! Pops? Speak to me...."

A hand fell on Ranma's shoulder. He glanced up into the face of Mr. Honda. "The emergency helicopter will be back soon," the man said. "We'll aid him as quickly as possible. It's hot water that reverses the transformation, correct?"

Ranma nodded wordlessly. He heard the sound of a helicopter in the distance. Rain began to fall again from the sky.


End file.
